I really like your Chloe, she's strong willed, determined and definitely not to be messed with :)
By any chance is he mum Katie Bell???
Instead of writing 10 minutes later or 6 hours later you could say something along the lines of 'It took me ten minutes before I finally found Dom in.'
There were a few little spelling mistakes and grammar errors that can be easily fixed, just make sure you proof read or invest in a beta :)
Another thing, Lily Luna doesn't have blue eyes she has the same colour eyes as James Sirius and Ginny.
I really like this story and I'm intrigued as to what happends next, especially since there's a hate/love thing between Chloe and James :)
Can't wait for the next chapter!!
Soph xxAuthor's Response: Oh, thank you! & yes, her mum is Katie Bell! :)
I will be sure to change those mistakes and errors, thanks for telling me.
Oh, yes, I forgot what Lily's eye colour was! Thanks for pointing THAT out :)
And yeah, you get all these stories about the main characters being best friends and magically falling in love and I thought I'd join some others and mix it up a bit :)
Thanks for the review, I hope you liked the chapter, I'll start writing Chapter 4 as soon as I can! :)
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More plz ? Enjoyed it xx Altho I find it hard that Chloe likes someone younger then her ... Oh well I'll get used to it :) keep up the good work xxAuthor's Response: Aha, don't worry, I'm in the middle of writing my third chaptar, so you won't have to wait long! :) & its all part of the plot, I'm throwing in a few twists in the future to keep it interesting!
Thanks for your wonderful review
Steph,xx Report Review
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