Hi. thank you so much for such a good beginning. I
have been looking for a good hogwarts-deathly
hallows fanfiction for ages. i am sure yours is going
to be among the best. I love your other work as
well and can't wait for you to update this story.
please please please update as soon as possible.
others are all rubbish.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I've been wanting to write this one for a while so it's nice to finally get it started. I only hope that my interpretation of the events of that year live up to expectations. :)

cheers, Mel

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So I developed an interest in this story during the Review Battle last month and now I'm quite curious to see where you're heading with it.

You're continuing to do a good job of painting a bleak and disturbing picture of Hogwarts under the Death Eaters. Neville's observations reinforced the message nicely in this chapter: the smaller number of carriages, the missing faces and the fact that Malfoy's strutting about as Head Boy.

Luna was a great choice to bring up the topic of the D.A. She's so oblivious to the danger surrounding them as to be practically fearless. Neville's reservations made perfect sense. I can only imagine what sort of horrible events lie ahead that will finally snap him out of it and forge him into a leader.

The Sorting Hat's song was well done. Those things definitely aren't easy to write, and I commend you for facing the challenge head on and not punting on it the way that most authors seem to.

I like the way that you're allowing Neville and Seamus to very gradually rebuild the shattered trust that was left over after the Ministry's slander campaign against Harry. Even with all the uncertainty they're facing, Neville seems too loyal to simply let bygones be bygones without a serious show of contrition and reliability from Seamus.

Your writing was really good in this. I didn't see any typos or grammatical problems. It all flowed very nicely.

I'm looking forward to seeing what you come up with next!

Author's Response: You came back! Thank you! Now it's my turn to apologise for taking so long to respond to your reviews.

I'm glad that you think I've got the atmosphere right for Hogwarts under the Carrows. They don't know what they're in for yet, but they don't like the feel of the place - or at least, that was what I was aiming for. It's not always easy to get that right, so thank you.

And I'm glad you agree that Luna was the perfect person to bring up the DA. It had to be raised, but as you said she's a bit other-worldly so the danger kind of bypasses her: she just liked doing it because, if you recall "it was like having friends".

As for Seamus, well that trust will definitely be rebuilt but I thought it was important to highlight the reservations that just about everyone had at that time. Who do you trust?

cheers, Mel

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Hi, I'm here from the review battle!

I love that, as harsh as she is, Neville's grandmother says something supportive when she sees him off: "Be careful, Neville ... I would like you to survive the year." Is this as close as she ever gets to "I love you?" ;)

I also love how Ginny and Neville cover for Harry's absence, but I don't think that Ginny would tell Seamus that he might be at Sirius's place. Since they had the idea to go there and Remus thought to look there for them, I think that she would have guessed that they might make a stop there as well.

What most intrigued me about this chapter are Neville's thoughts on Moody. I had forgotten that the fake Moody was so helpful to Neville during fourth year, and had never really thought about how he would feel about him in retrospect. I think his continuing appreciation of him is understandable.


Overall, this novel seems like it's off to a great start. The dialog in this chapter feels very natural, and everyone acts in character. The plot has my interest so far. :)

Author's Response: You know, that's probably a fair point about Ginny. The thing about her, though, is that she doesn't always think before she acts, so maybe this is an example of that. I'll have a think about it.

I'm glad you liked Neville's introspection about Moody, though. The fake Moody really did some great things for Neville in fourth year, so I think that Neville would remember and almost treasure that: an actively supportive voice in the staff room to counter Snape's negativity. (I'm not discounting McGonagall or Sprout here, but I think that Neville wouldn't have felt them to be quite as supportive, even if they were.)

thanks for the review!
cheers, Mel

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Yay! A story about a snake! I think you're going to be popular for the next 2 weeks. ;)

I thought this was an awesome start to a story. I really love stories where the author gives their ideas about what was happening elsewhere in the wizarding world during the year that the trio spent on the run. Hogwarts is especially interesting.

You did a good job of showing the uncertainty surrounding the new school year right from the start. The questions that Augusta asks and Neville's reactions to them speak volumes about the times they live in.

I liked the anxiety and depression that everyone seems to be feeling as they journey toward school. Their unanswered questions added to the foreboding, since we already know what's waiting for them. It's easy to imagine none of them knowing what to expect when they arrive at Hogwarts. I also liked the fact that Harry's "loyal" friends don't immediately embrace Seamus. This is a time of war, and everyone is watching their own back and suspicious of other people's motivations.

The little touch of Luna that you worked into the chapter was really nice, as well. I appreciated the fact that you didn't fall back on something tired and overdone like Wrackspurts or Blibbering Humdingers.

Your writing was really nice in this. Everything flowed nicely and I didn't see any typos or grammatical problems. I hope you take this story and run with it, because I think I'd really enjoy reading it.

Author's Response: Why, thank you! I have wanted to write this story for a while but things kept getting in the way, so it's nice to finally get it started. :)

I've been a little worried about characterisation in this fic, simply because we know all the characters so well. As such, your comments about Neville, Augusta and Luna are really reassuring: they're not glaringly OOC and I'm capturing the mood adequately. So thank you! The mood as well is something that we only had glimpses of so it's been tricky to get the right balance.

cheers, Mel

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There aren't actually that many students at Hogwarts, when you think about it. Not like you'd see in a Muggle school. So, reading this, reading how few students there are, had me envision a ghost town of sorts. A castle would just look even bigger than usual. It really puts this year into focus, I think. How afraid some people must be to not show up at all. You really made me see that. I thought that was awesome.

Learning the Dark Arts instead of Defense; that would be horrible. Especially as we know what will happen when students don't do as the Carrows want. I'd be kinda scared if I knew we had Death Eaters for teachers.

I understand Neville's suspicion of Seamus. As Seamus is in the RoR at the end of DH, I think it's safe to say he earns his trust back, but I never really thought of how it would be in the beginning. But it makes sense and I'm glad you included it. :)

This was a really great chapter. I look forward to more.

Sam.

Author's Response: Yes, the Hogwarts population isn't really that large - though JKR herself used to get confused on that point. But yeah, if there are about 40 kids per year, then that would make the school have about 280 students (let's say 300 to round things off), and to take out all the Muggle borns you're probably losing at least 100 of those. Include people who just aren't coming back and that's an extra 50 or so, which means that you've got about half your regular students, or 150. Which, as you say, would really echo in a castle the size of Hogwarts.

The Seamus thing actually took me by surprise when it started, but it fit and I liked it so I kept it. It's going to be developed during the year and there is some canon which I say backs me up (kind of) so it's staying. Glad you like it! :)

As for the DADA lessons, well that may or may not have been a slip of the tongue by Snape there. We'll see how that progresses.

thanks, Mel

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Another brilliant story, Mel!
The relationship between Seamus and the others is really intriguing and I can't wait to see that develop as the story goes along.
You've portrayed Ginny and Luna very well: Ginny a sad but incredibly determined and strong girl, Luna her own usual mix of 'dottiness' as JK puts it, bafflingly calm demeanour and loyalty and kindness.
Well done on Snape, too- you've got his greasy, silky character down to a T (for 'Troll')!
Also, did you write the SH's song yourself? Very impressive!
Please update as soon as you can. Great story, very promising.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I have been wanting to write this story for a while but other things kept getting in the way, so it's nice to finally get it started.

The Seamus thing actually took me by surprise when it first appeared, but it feels right so I'm running with it. There is a smattering of canon to back it up (okay, that might be a stretch but hey, it's my story) so I'm working with that as I go along.

Thanks for your comments on my characterisation as well. It's much harder writing Hogwarts era characters than it is for any other generation because we know them all so well, so it takes much less for them to appear out of character. So it's heartening that you think I've at least started off okay.

And yes, I wrote the Sorting Hat song myself. Glad you liked it!

cheers, Mel

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Aand I'm here again! Sorry it took me so long to review this chapter Mel. It was worth the waiting in any case :D

Oh my...where to begin? Every time I read a chapter of this story I feel the same urge I always have when reading dark stories to continue my re-read of the Harry Potter books. Your story has the same feeling I got from Order of the Phoenix and onwards. That feeling that danger is looming around everyone's heads and is slowly materialising. A sense that you can't really trust anyone any more. Which is no mean feat I might add!

Should I feel bad for getting overly excited when you write Snape? I mean, I know he's not particularly your favourite character but I'm very interested in your portrayal of him. I really like the sense of duality that you gave him right off the bat. It helps that we know how he was and whose side he was on in the seventh book but you still managed to keep him, even in just that scene, neutral. Not too nice but not too evil or malicious as Neville expected him to be either. Seeing how their relationship will evolve and how they'll interact is literally making me jump up and down with excitement haha

You actually composed a song for the Sorting Hat...you really did it. You're my new hero! I can't even imagine how much time you spent on it. I know it would have taken me ages to come off as great as yours did. I can almost image the Hat's brim opening up like a mouth and singing this song at the Feast. It's amazing!

I liked that it was Luna that proposed to start the DA again. It feels just like her to randomly suggest that. Oh I can't wait to read more of this Mel. It's going to be SO much fun!

Author's Response: Ah, Debra, I have taken forever to respond to your marvellous review so don't feel bad. I'm just happy that you read it. :)

Anyway. I'm really pleased that you think I am getting that sense of foreboding that the HP books had pretty much since OotP (which I only just finished re-reading so hopefully I can get another chapter written in the next month or so). So thank you! *breathes sigh of relief*

As for Snape, well I am trying hard to get him right. I have much less trouble with the teenaged Snape than I do with the adult version: I think it's to do with his emotional state being much easier to guess when he was younger because he was less practiced at hiding everything. But if I got that sense of duality then that's a good thing, because while he oversaw a reign of terror he was, in fact, acting for the good guys. I'll see how I keep going with that one, but thanks for the encouragement. :)

Ah,the Sorting Hat song. I actually borrowed a couple of lines from one I wrote for one of the Gryffie collaborations a few years back, so it wasn't all new work, but then it is all my own so it counts. I write poetry occasionally so it wasn't too hard, but it was a little tiring as getting the syllables and the beat right can be tricky at times.

Thanks again for the feedback. I think you're my new favourite reviewer. :D

cheers, Mel

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Hi again! This will be a short review because my daughter is waking up and I honestly don't know when I'll have time to come back :)

Once again, brilliant chapter. Your depiction of the feast was perfect. Snape and his declarations, the hat and his warning and the all around descriptions of how so many students are missing was spot on. I like how Seamus seems to have such an important place in your story because it is true, as the only other Gryffindor boy in seventh year, Neville and him would have gotten closer, if only to support each other through this. I do hope that they will forgive Seamus officially soon though!

You have set the tone for a very horrible year (in a good way though!) and it will be very interesting to see how you present it. Great work so far, I really enjoy it just as much as I expected I would !!

Author's Response: Ah, that's okay. As a mother myself I know all about trying to get things done in those blessed hours when they're asleep. (I love my kids, I really do. But they can be - uh - relentless.)

I quite enjoyed writing that feast. The Sorting Hat song was, of course, exhausting, but I thought it was a decent depiction of how it must have felt. So many people missing, so many unsure about what was to come.

As for Seamus, well of course they will forgive him. I do however have a reason for this treatment of him which will hopefully become clear later in the story.

Thanks again, Mel

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Melian! You know, I've been awaiting this story ever since you mentionned your intention of writting it on the forum (was it a year ago?). I remember being so excited because if there is one person that I just know can write this story accuratly, it's you and now that I've read the first chapter, I know that my expectations were right; you did not disappoint!!

First of, I would like to say that you found Neville's voice perfectly. He has just the right amount of self doubt and freshly discovered confidence that you might expect him to have at this point in his life. I really liked the conversation with his Gran and what is implied there, about how she sees him in a new light and how it still surprises him. Everything that covered his beliefs about his classmates was so well done. I like how he clearly doesn't believe that Ron is sick but understands the importance of keeping up the act to protect the Weasleys.

The tone of this chapter was great. Not too dark yet but with a heavy feeling of disconfort and foreboding. Great job! I look forward to reading the rest although I do understand that, being occupied like you are, it might take a while. Thanks for taking the time to write this story, it's a big piece of canon that not many people can tackle and succeed at!

Author's Response: Hi!! Thankd for the review! It's really lovely to hear from people like you who have been looking forward to this story since I first started talking about it - yes, more than a year ago now. Sigh. That darn OF took me away from fanfiction for a long time, didn't it?

Thanks for saying that Neville's characteristion was believable. It's SO important to get him right in a story like this so to have that feedback right off the bat is really encouraging. *beams* There is a LOT of self doubt in him, but that will slowly erode during the year so he can become the warrior we see at the end of DH. (Yes, warrior. I chose that word deliberately.) The mood at Hogwarts, too, was something I really wanted to capture so thanks for saying I did okay there too. It wouldn't have felt like the normal Hogwarts, that's for sure.

cheers, Mel

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The thing I'm most enthusiastic about right now is your mention of Hannah, seeing as I love watching your characters fall in love with one another (though sometimes they're so blind it's frustrating -- yes, that's me still fangirling about Laurius here, whoops).

Ack. Can I say againg how fitting this story is with cannon? I can see it make sense, I can see the scene in my head, I can hear Neville speaking.

While we're on that subject, YOUR NEVILLE. His reluctance about reforming the DA is perfectly in character -- you don't try to make him appear as a hero, just as a seventeen-year old boy who's not quite sure how to deal with what's going on around him. I can't wait to read about the first Dark Arts class, and when he finds the room of requirement, and when he chops Nagini's head off, but I'm getting a bit ahead of myself right now.

I'm also desperately, let's-crawl-into-a-hole-and-weep desperately, jealous of your story, and I really can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Ah, Hannah. There is so much potential there, isn't there? However, I'm sorry to say that this will NOT be a love story. There will be some scenes with Hannah - I've already got something planned for the end - but any of that will be secondary to the main plot, which is Neville vs the Carrows. However, I'm sure we can have a few sweet scenes with the two of them ... :)

Thanks once again for the characterisation feedback. Neville is SO important to get right in this, and I've been re-reading the HP books to try to get into his head as best I can. I think I have a reasonabel handle on him at the moment but naturally the more I write the better that sense of him will get.

And jealous? What on earth for? However, I will try to get the next chapter up as soon as I can. Just bear in mind that I'm only on GoF at the moment and I really need to have re-read DH to write any more just yet .. .so give me a couple of weeks at least, and probably more.

thanks again, Mel

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Hi Mel! I figured it was about time for me to review this, having stalked your author page ever since I discovered HTTAM seven months ago.

The first thing that strikes me is the similarities between your opening chapters. You really enjoy platform/first of September scenes, don't you?

Your characters seem spot on, particularly Luna, whom I find incredibly difficult to write. I also loved seeing Seamus -- it never struck me that he and Neville would be the only two Gryffindor Seventh years left. Of course, I'm expecting that will also cause some serious tensions...

Anyway. I'm insanely happy to see you back around here, and you can count on my rambling in the future!

Author's Response: Lol. Opening chapters being similar? To be honest, I never really thought of it that way, but the way this story is (going to be) structured I thought that a first of September scene woudl be appropriate to start it off with. After all, we're dealing with a year at Hogwarts, aren't we? But yes, you do have a point. Maybe I should look at that for my next fanfic novel. *grins*

Thank you for saying I did a decent job with characterisation as well. A story like this presents different challenges to HTM because (a) there are effectively no OCs, and (b) we know the canon characters really well. With another era you have some leeway; with Harry's, you don't. So thanks for that because if I want my story to be canon, then getting the characterisation right is kind of important, don't you think?

cheers, Mel

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Eekkk! Already I know I'm going to adore this story, mostly because you are writing it!!! I can't even tell you how much I adore your writing! I'm so excited to see how this is written!!

Author's Response: Thank you! It's so lovely to have people checking out this story just on the basis of me being the author - and so encouraging. Like I said in the a/n I won't be updating as regularly, but I hope that people try to check it out all the same. Thanks again :D

cheers, Mel

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Hi,

Welcome back!!
I saw from Twitter that you're writing again and was over to HPFF as soon as I had 5 seconds :)

I love what you've done so far and am really looking forward to seeing your take on the missing seventh year. I wont lie, I'm looking forward to seeing some action and things really getting going, but obviously this is just the beginning.. I already know from HTM that you're great at sticking to cannon and so far Neville has been perfect and pretty much how I've imagined him.

Was it a deliberate choice to have Neville be the only one not notice the "Dark Arts" as opposed to "Defense Against the Dark Arts" wording? If so it was a nice way of saying Neville might be the protagonist of this novel, but this doesn't mean he's immediately transformed into a magical/intellectual genius. He's still our Neville :) Or am I reading to much into this..?

Anyway, I hope you still keep writing this even if your review count doesn't compare to HTM right now. You're still a fantastic writer and people will re-find you, I'm sure!

Looking forward to the next chapter :)

clare

Author's Response: Thanks Clare! Yes, writing fanfiction again so it's lovely to have people checking it out on that basis. Thank you! *hugs*

It's a good question you ask about Neville being the only one not to notice about the DADA thing. He wasn't the ONLY one not to notice - there are a few hundred kids in that hall and not all of them were paying attention to Snape - but I think it's significant that he didn't notice it. Neville is the sort who collates information slowly and then forms his own conclusions later, rather than acting purely on impulse, so he's more likely to think about it, mull over it and then work out what to do. In that sense, it's good for him to have someone like Ginny around because she's the opposite and a good foil for him. But yes, you're right - he might be the main character but he's not a magican or intellectual genius. He's still Neville. :)

As for keeping going, of course I will! I was averaging 5 reviews a chapter for HTM after 20 chapters, so this is well beyond that already. And let's face it, the main story hasn't even started yet. ;)

Thanks again, Mel

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Yay another chapter!

I really liked how you showed that Seamus seemed eager to join the DA, and that he kept his galleon to prove so. I forgot about them, so it was nice to see them reappearing. I knew that Luna kept hers, as she never had any friends before, so any reminder of how she first got them, she would of course treasure, but Seamus keeping his surprised me, but it was a nice touch.

I really felt for Neville and his confidence issues. He just seemed so reluctant to lead the DA, but when in fact he would make a great leader, as he understands what it’s like to be the underdog, and that’s what the DA really is. Also the mention about his silent bitterness that he would never get anyone like Ginny, you could see that he didn’t like her still, but he was still a little hurt that he could never get someone like her.

I didn’t expect a sorting song to appear, as I’ve been forced to write songs before, in music lessons, so I know how hard it can be, so this was another nice surprise. I thought it fitted well, and it could have been in the actual books, so you have great song writing skills!

It felt so weird being back in Hogwarts; it was so familiar yet different. I guess that’s how everyone there was feeling. I didn’t notice it too much, until Neville and Seamus went back to their dorm, and the realisation hit in that there would be so few people back this year. I think you caught the atmosphere of what Hogwarts would have been like very well, as it left me feeling as if something was missing, and I just wanted Harry, Ron and Hermione to suddenly appear! Seamus and I are on the exact same wavelength, and I felt sorry for him as he appeared lost.

I thought this was another excellent chapter, and your characterisation is staying true to JK so it makes it such a pleasure to read. I can’t wait to read the next chapter! Kiana :)

Author's Response: Ah, the Galleons. They are actually quite important to this story so I thought it would be good to have them mentioned nice and early. And it's a measure of where Seamus' loyalties really lie, isn't it?

I'm glad you liked my depiction of Neville and his confidence issues. From what he said to Harry in DH it sounded like he only started standing up to the Carrows because someone had to, and no one else seemed to be willing. I can't see him jumping at the opportunity to be their whipping boy, but accepting it as a necessary means to an end. So that will come.

Thank you too for saying that it felt like Hogwarts, though with something missing. That was, as you probably guessed, precisely what I was aiming for so it's very gratifying to hear it. Thanks again. *hugs*

cheers, Mel

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This chapter was really good. I felt so bad for Neville when I read that people like Ginny would always prefer people like Harry over people like him. I guess it's true, but it's still sad. But he'll find love, too, in Hannah - too bad she's not back at school with the others. I would have liked to see that.

I think that you've presented the changes at Hogwarts this year very well, because they still have no idea just how bad it will get. This is just the tip of the iceberg, and it makes me want to read more.

I think they should forgive Seamus soon. I mean, so he made some mistake two years ago? I think this is the time when they should strive to be united - they'll need each other this year, because they have too many enemies already. Keep writing. I like it so far.

Author's Response: Ah, just because Neville hasn't seen Hannah yet doesn't mean that she's not there. Or she's not coming later. (To be honest, i haven't decided yet whether to have her attend Hogwarts or not, so I left it open to myself. Need to make that decision soon, though.)

I'm glad you liked the description of Hogwarts - and yes, it is certainly just the tip of the iceberg. However, they don't know that yet so the feeling of foreboding will have to do for now. :)

As for Seamus, well I have my reasons for this treatment of him. Don't worry, they'll forgive him soon enough.

cheers, Mel

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I think this is a nice idea for a story. I've seen several stories of this year at Hogwarts, but from Ginny's point of view. Therefore, I really like the idea of letting Neville be in focus.

This chapter was rather short. A tip would be to add some more descriptions to make it seem more alive, as this was mostly just conversations. Perhaps you could describe their surroundings or the way they look? It would make it more interesting.

However, even without that many details, I enjoyed this chapter, and I look forward to seeing what the future holds for this story. :)

Author's Response: Thanks. I know this was a short chapter (in my other novel they were usually around the 5000 word mark) but I wanted to get this story started and up on the archive so I had a reason to make myself write and finish it. I take your point about descriptions but I'm sure there will be enough of those later on to satisfy anyone. ;) Thanks for the feedback, though, it's really useful and I'm glad you liked it so far.

cheers, Mel

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Hey, SamMalfoy93 here. I lost your link for a moment. :P

First off, I love Neville. I'm so excited to see a novel about Neville. It'll be great to see your interpretations of his final year, reading all the things he does in Hogwarts. It's the year that shoes him as a leader and a Gryffindor and a hero. Plus, he's always been awesome.

This was a great start, though I hope they start to trust Seamus soon. I understand why they wouldn't at first, but I still like him. And we know he's on Harry's side at the end of DH.

I can't wait for more! I'm very excited! :D

Sam.

Author's Response: Hi Sam! Thanks for the review! :)

You love Neville? Really? Then I chose a good link to leave, then, didn't I? *grins* I've got a real soft spot for him, to be honest, and this felt like a tale that needed to be told, so I thought I'd give it a try. Why not, hey? I'm really pleased that you like this start, though I'm aware that it's quite short and therefore doesn't really get into things too much. And Seamus? Well, it's a situation ripe for mistrust, but as he fights on the right side in the Battle of Hogwarts at the end of the year, I think you can rest assured that he's not in the doghouse for the whole story. :D

Thanks again, Mel

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Hi, I have to agree that your banner is awesome, those people at TDA just have so much talent!

To tell you the truth I never really thought that much about what 7th year must have been like for Neville, but when I saw you had a new story about it, I thought that must have been a very interesting perspective to explore so I decided to check it out, as I loved HTTM, so I knew this was going to be good as well!

I loved how you kept true to JK Rowling’s writing and wrote this story in third person POV, as it just gives you a sense of Harry Potterness! And the fact you wrote it so successfully as well was great, because I know how much harder it is than writing in third person, because my attempts at it are safe to say awful!

Neville seemed so true to his character as well, which was a delight to read! The way you captured his pride at finally being recognised by his grandmother was great, as that recognition must have meant so much to him, as he tends to be overlooked most of the time. And his silent wisdom as he always knew that Harry wouldn’t turn up, showing how well he observes things, when many people doubt his intelligence!

I loved your characterisation of all the other characters as they were all so true to canon as well! The best part was possibly Luna just stating the truth, and making everyone uncomfortable, many people forget that about her, but it’s one of my favourite traits of her, and you captured Seamus’s embarrassment so well as well!

Seamus just seemed so ill at ease, probably due to the others being such close friends and always being united behind Harry. I’m looking forward to seeing whether he changes throughout the story at all, as I’m sort of hoping he’ll reform.

I thought this was an excellent start to the story, and I’m really eager to read more now, as your writing is amazing as it’s so similar to JK’s it’s as if I’m reading another Harry Potter book! Keep up the amazing work! Kiana :D

Author's Response: Hi Kiana! Thanks so much for the review! :)

Can I say at the outset what a RELIEF it is to have people telling me that people are (so far at least) staying in character? Because that's somethign that can be really hard to do, especially with the Hogwarts era characters because we know them all so well. With the Marauders I had a bit more leeway because their characters are much more open to interpretation than Neville and the like. So thank you! :)

As for Seamus, well he fights for the right side in the Battle of Hogwarts so fear not. He is, however, Seamus, and in this atmosphere don't you think that people wouldn't be so quick to trust as they usually are?

Thanks again for the feedback, it really does help. I hope you like what comes later as well.

cheers, Mel

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I like it so far, and I've always wondered how things went while the trio was gone...thanks for posting it and I'm looking forward to the rest (whenever it comes around) :)

Author's Response: Thank you! This is very much a work in progress but like you I have high hopes for it. fingers crossed they can be realised. :)

cheers, Mel

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Hello Mel! Ohhh I don't even know how to begin this review. I'm so excited I can barely stand on my chair long enough to write some words haha. It might sound a bit odd but for quite some time now I have found that I prefer stories like the one you are setting yourself to write. Action, adventure, suspense, moody, dark, angsty. Plus Neville has grown SO much on me over every re-read of the books, and the plot of the story you are writing is such an unexplored territory that I can't help but feel ecstatic (and thankful!) about this story.

I like the way you started the story. You took a bit of time to portray a glimpse of what must have been the relation between Neville and his Gran. It made me laugh reading how after all this time she still looked him up, suspicious that he might have forgotten something. I'm guessing old habits die hard. A favourite quote of mine from that part is definitely "Be careful, Neville," she said suddenly. "I would like you to survive the year.". I think this is the best part of the chapter. We know enough of what happened at Hogwarts during their 7th year to smile darkly at her unsuspecting predicament. What's in store for the students deeply resembles a battle for survival so this makes the quote even more meaningful.

Neville felt very in character for this chapter. You could sense that he still had some deep ingrained fears (of Snape mostly) but that he had grown enough and was still growing into the man we get to see at the end of Deathly Hallows when he openly confronts Voldemort, something that no one dared to do except Harry and Dumbledore (mind you, there might have been others in their time but my memory of the facts are a bit fuzzy - it's been a while since I last read the books).

The other characters were a pleasure to read as well. Especially Luna. Dear, lovable, blunt Luna. She is so dear to me that I cannot stress enough how I love it when people get her right. Her airiness, her "to the point" honesty is not always easy to capture. "Seamus Finnigan, you were late joining the DA.". And THIS is why I love Luna. This must be the second best quote in this chapter. I literally laughed when I read that. You can't not love her.

Another thing I appreciate is that you managed to create a fitting atmosphere for the story. Nothing is over the top dangerous yet, but the students putting up together the puzzle pieces that are represented by all the events that are happening now, can easily make out and image of how hard everything is going to be from now on. It's a very good set up for the kick off of the story what with Ginny mentioning Moody's death, or the fact that Aurors aren't protecting people now. You can feel the tension, the still silent struggle to stay calm despite your skin prickling at every shocking news you find out.

I'm wondering how Snape will be portrayed. I remember you had doubts about him when you were writing "How to Tame a Marauder" since you're not exactly his fan.

I honestly can't wait to read more of it! This goes straight to my favourites. Sorry if I rambled :)

Author's Response: Debra! When I said this made my day, I really meant it. I'm only sorry that it's taken me this long to get enough spare computer time to give you a considered response.

Anyway. I'm so pleased you liked this start, because if you really have been looking forward to reading this story then I probably had a bit to live up to. :) I too like the relationship between Neville and his Gran, and I really believe that she was incredibly proud of him by the end of seventh year. I think she was proud of him before, actually, but I'm not sure he realised that. So this is a coming of age in a lot of ways.

Thank you too for saying that people seemed in character. Like you I havne't read the books in a long time, but I'm reading them again now (as of two days ago) and getting a real feel for the world again. And taking notes, hahaha. I think the Neville/Snape relationship is going be really important in this story so it's good that you think I did a reasonable job, though as you said there's no Snape in the story yet so the real test is yet to come. Next chapter will have the welcoming feast and the start of lessons, so you'll have to tell me how I go with those.

As for Luna, well she's priceless isn't she? I'm glad you liked that comment because I did too. :) The Seamus thing surprised me a little as I was writing it - I hadn't expected this little bit of antagonism and mistrust but it really fit the circumstances so I'm going to explore that a bit more as I go along.

Thanks again for this wonderful review. You have really encouraged me to put a lot more effort into this story ... not that the effort wasn't going to be there, but I will probably update more often. :)

thanks again, Mel

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Heya! Perelandra here from the forums.

I saw that you posted this in the forums and wanted to give it a shot. Besides, I like fics that show Neville being a BAMF and he's in his 7th year at Hogwarts creating chaos for the Carrows. :)

Everyone in this story sounded like their true selves from the book which is so good do see. A few hints of OOC can send me running from fics some times. Your Luna felt brilliant, specially when talking about "Heliopaths and is training up chimaeras next." That line right there was true Luna essence and it had me giggling.

It did feel a little to dialogue heavy but that's not a big deal. I really liked the interaction Neville had with everyone. His Gran, specially since she's seems like a difficult woman to deal with.

Anyway, I can't say much about this due to this just being the first chapter. However, I would like to definitely see more. So many questions I have of what we're going to see but I'll keep those to myself for now.

Hope to see something whenever you have a chance!

--Rosie/Perelandra

Author's Response: Hi Rosie! Thanks for the review!

I'm glad I'm not the only one who likes the idea of Neville showing the Carrows what's what in his seventh year. I admit that not a lot happens in this chapter (and yes it probably is rather dialogue heavy) but hey, it's the first chapter and they've only just got to school. I might give it an edit though to see how I can improve it.

Thank you for saying you'd like to see where this goes, that's very heartening. And thank you for thinking that my characters are still behaving within character, because like you I'm fussy about that, and Luna is someone who it's really hard to get right. *breathes sigh of relief*

Thanks again, Mel

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