Reading Reviews for Insomnia
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by MadiMalfoy Insomnia

22nd July 2013:
Hiya! I'm here with your requested review! :)

First of all, let me just say that this was a fantastic one-shot!! Spot-on characterizations! It seems very believable and like it could happen. It makes a lot of sense that Ginny wouldn't be able to talk about her issues with any of her family because they wouldn't understand, and Hermione would just overanalyze it and possibly make it worse.

As far as flow and style go, I think they're great! The different scenes work very well with the way you wanted this to go. I love the bit with Ginny being annoyed at Harry for being a typical teenage boy--it just seems so much like him! :)

One little grammar CC I have for you is this phrase: "after betrayals, and murders, and imprisonment, and tears," The commas are not necessary. You could rewrite it like this: "after betrayals and murders and imprisonment and tears," or just list everything out like this: "after betrayals, murders, imprisonment, and tears,". That's the only thing I found though, so don't worry too much about it! :)

Wow, definitely a great piece, wonderful insights! Feel free to re-request for any of your other stuff! :)
~MadiMalfoy xx

Author's Response: Thank you so much for such an amazing review! I'm so glad that you liked it!
Ginny's transformation from the shy, love struck girl of the first few books into the hardcore awesomesauce of the last few always seemed a little vague to me. Ginny seems tremendously brave to me, but I feel like she would be similar to both Harry and Ron in that she shoves her feelings down until they explode out of her. Obviously I had no choice but to write about it!!
Thanks for pointing out that grammatical mistake. I shall change it asap :) Thanks again for taking the time to give me such a great review!!--CH

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Review #2, by lordofsith Insomnia

11th July 2013:
By far one of the best stories I have ever read on this site.

I'm a big fan of non-romantic relationships between characters that didn't have much page time in JK's books, but I never see them done in such a believable way. Even though Sirius and Ginny were speaking to each other outside their usual tone, they still read as in-character to me. Almost as if this was a deleted scene from OotP.

I write this review suffering from the title of this great fanfic and, therefore, apologize if it makes less sense than it should. I just had to show some appreciation for the hard work that must have gone in to writing it.

Author's Response: Oh my goodness, thank you so much for such a lovely review! I very much appreciate it! I too enjoy reading stories that read in between the lines of canon, especially if it focuses on relationships between characters, platonic or otherwise! That's why I try (and hopefully succeed...although I'm not sure about that part!) to write them...I can never find enough minor character centred stories to satisfy me! Thanks again for leaving such a nice review! Now go and get some sleep :)

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Review #3, by CambAngst Insomnia

11th June 2013:
Hi, there.

This was a pretty amazing story. I love Sirius when he's written really well, and you captured him in a way that felt amazingly true to his characterization from the books. He's tormented by the past and sort of childlike in a way. He seems to feel less animosity toward his family than I'm used to seeing, but that really didn't bother me at all. You made it seem perfectly natural for such a lost and lonely soul.

The same is true for Ginny. I love the inner strength you gave her, and the difficulty she has coping with her experience from her first year of school. Her quiet personality was also much more in line with the way she's portrayed in the first four books. She seems like a very warm, caring person, but with a fiery temper. Beautifully done.

Your supporting characters were also great. Wise and weary Remus was able to help Sirius out at the moment he needed it most. Overbearing mother hen Molly was annoying for all of the reasons I never liked her until she killed Bellatrix and became the baddest mama in HP canon. Bill and George were very well done as protective older brothers, with Bill having more of an advantage of age when it came to rebuffing Sirius's questions. Even Phineas Nigellus and Kreacher were perfectly in tune.

Then came the ending. I loved the way that you changed up the narrative style to make it appropriate to Sirius's death. And it was great to see him reunited with those whose deaths burdened him with so much guilt and grief in life.

Just so this doesn't seem like an endlessly gushy review, I should point out that you need to do some editing. I didn't pick through every typo, but there were enough of them for it to be noticeable. This is such a great story otherwise that I think it would be awesome if you could tidy up those few small blemishes.

Great job. I'm really happy that you came across my story because it gave me the opportunity to find yours. Cheers!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! It means a lot to me that you took the time to write such a long and helpful review. I've had my doubts about this story...I've been teetering between thinking it was good, and wanting it to disappear. I know it needs some serious editing (I've sent it to a beta, but she hasn't replied yet...) and I'll probably go over it a couple more times to fine tune stuff I don't like.
I'm very glad you thought the characters were portrayed well. Apparently I have a thing about characters. I really like to get into their personalities, and figure them out, and sometimes how I end up picturing them isn't necessarily how they are portrayed canonically. My goal is to get them right, however!
Thank you, thank you for the encouragement on the ending. I had a lot of trouble on it. It's written so much differently from the rest of the story; I was trying to make it more battle-y (thus the staccato sentences etc.) than pensive and character driven, but I wasn't sure if the drastic change worked, from quiet , to battle-y, to quiet again. The very, very end troubled me too. Since James and Lily aren't present very often in the books, it's difficult to get a hold on their characters. Hopefully I did it well!
Again, thank you so much for your review. You've helped my out exponentially, confidence-wise!

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Review #4, by erica Insomnia

31st May 2013:
Great. My favorite part seems to be how, in Sirus's POV, it changed from Harry having Lily's eyes to Lily having Harry's. It really shows how Ginny helped him heal :)

Author's Response: Thank you! I think that the most devastating part of Sirius' storyline was that he was torn away from Harry just as both of them had begun to heal. Thanks again for reviewing! It means a lot to me!

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Review #5, by Melodically Insomnia

14th May 2013:
That was wonderful! It really drew me in.

Author's Response: Thank you :) I'm very glad you liked it!

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