Oooh! This piece was so well written, and mysterious!
Can I just make some guesses here:
Helga and Salazar were together when they were younger, except it didn't work out, so Helga went off with Godric and Salazar went off with Rowena? Am I right?
Anyway, that doesn't really concern me because it could be written about Mary the accountant who has two million cats and I would still love this :D
I don't read Founders era very often, but I am so glad I got to read this one, because it is so well written and everything just flows so nicely together. Every paragraph fits together so beautifully!
10/10! Amazing!Author's Response: Oh my goodness, hi! Thank you so much for coming by to review!
You're half-right: Salazar and Helga were together, but they don't end up with Rowena and Godric in the end. I imagine them with totally different people. I'm kind of a Founders enthusiast, so I have this whole backstory imagined for all of them :) Feel free to check out my other Founders stories if you're interested!
I am so happy you like the flow of this! It means so much to me that you came to review. Thanks again! :)
--Maggie Report Review
Heya! Perelandra here from the forums with your review! :)
Ugh, this story and my poor feelings!
I absolutely enjoyed reading this. The change of POV was genius and I loved how you wove their narratives together to make it whole. My favorite line has got to be:
she has accepted the portion of my heart I am able to give her and made no claim on the rest
That made me go 'awww' very loudly. I'm actually glad that I'm on my own right now other wise I would get strange looks.
The personalities you give Salazar and Helga are fantastic. She seems like a woman who doesn't care what people think of her for she is happy. She doesn't care of people think of her as the best looking woman in the world or the ugliest. She just lives her life and is happy. And Salazar...he's definitely more well rounded with actual feelings! He's not evil and I'm glad that I didn't get to see that overly done Slytherin characteristic. Really liked how despite being in love with each other, they still love their respective husband and wife and they're loyal to them. Now I'm left to wonder of what happened between Salazar and Helga that they didn't end up together.
I really wish I could make this review longer but I just don't have anything to say!
Fantastic job! :D Thanks for letting me read this!
Until next time
--RosieAuthor's Response: Hi Rosie! Thank you so much for coming by!
Haha I'm glad you enjoyed it, and that it gave you Helgazar feels. That's what I was aiming for :) And the narrative was my biggest worry when posting this; I like the way their thoughts flow into one another, but I wasn't sure how it would sit with readers. It's wonderful to hear that you liked it!
I'm glad to see that you connected not only with Helga and Salazar's love story, but also with their spouses. This is the 3rd story I've written for this ship, and I sort of have their whole lives planned out already :P So I wanted to show what it would be like for them to have happiness with another person, and yet still have regrets for what might have been.
Thank you so much Rosie! This review made my day!
--Maggie Report Review
Hey! Mya here for the swap! Sorry for the delayyy! Loads of homework and all
This is definitely one of the coolest narration styles I've ever seen here!! Seriously it was amazing.
My favorite part was when the sentences connected but from the different POVs. It was so unique! You really did an amazing job here.
I really loved the whole story. I do think we could maybe get a bit more feel for the characters if you mentioned small things that could show us their personality traits but really it was amazing. This is me trying, and failing, to find faults haha.
Great work Maggie and thanks for the swap!!Author's Response: Hi Mya! Thank you so much for coming by!
Ahh thank you! I'm so happy to hear that you like the narration. I was sort of playing around with having their thoughts flow together and complete each other, and this was the best way I knew to do it. So glad you enjoyed it!
Thanks for the characterization suggestion. I'm always looking for ways to improve on that, so it's much appreciated.
Thank you again for the awesome review! We should definitely swap again sometime :) Report Review
Hello! I'm here for the swap :)
I love doing these swaps because I get to pick up such unique stories. This is definitely one of the coolest narration styles I've ever seen here - my favorite parts of the story are when the two characters' narration becomes interconnected, and it's like one sentence that they're sharing. It's also extremely well-written, and the style of writing fits the Founders era (I can't stand it when people try to do Founders characters in really casual writing) without being overbearingly wordy.
From your descriptions of Slytherin and Hufflepuff looking out at each other, you manage to indirectly characterize the two pretty well. Because the narration is so bound up in the characters' heads, it's sort of hard to get a good idea of the concrete world around them, so I'd suggest a bit more description to sort give it all a grounding.
This is really cool! Thanks for the swap!Author's Response: Hi Faux! Thank you so much!
Yay, someone who likes the style! So far the reviews have been firmly mixed in that area, so it's fun to see that some people actually like it :) And I do work really hard on making the narration sound true to the era when I write Founders, so it's great to hear that you liked that part of it.
Thanks for the suggestion about physical descriptions. That makes a lot of sense, and I do think it would add to the story.
Thanks again for the swap, and for the great review!
--Maggie Report Review
Review swap! Sorry for the long wait but it was quite late yesterday and I had to make my homework today.
I found it really interesting to see this was a Helga/Salazar as one I love minor pairings and two I recently wrote an Helena/Salazar. A different pairing I know, but I was curious how you portrayed Salazar Slytherin.
I loved the fact he acknowledged she wasn’t the most beautiful woman around, as in a lot of stories the main characters ‘love’ is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen and I liked the fact he said it was the same in her youth. So I was quite surprised to see he has a wife, but it does make much sense for that time period. So kudos on that!
To be honest with you I found the style of writing a bit annoying, with you cutting things out and such. I’m sure others would love it but it isn’t something I personally enjoy much. So you shouldn’t behave it on my behalf or anything haha.
Well done! A tip for you though would be to get a banner.
CleopatraAuthor's Response: Hi Cleopatra! Thank you so much for the swap!
I'm a huge Founders fan, and it's the genre that comes most naturally for me when I write. So I've been playing with this pairing a lot. I might have to look at your Helena/Salazar sometime; that seems like it would be really interesting.
I didn't find it realistic for Helga to be beautiful, honestly. I mean, Rowena was described as the beautiful one, and it's like you said; all women can't be attractive. I figured that their love would be based on much more than looks. And I included their spouses to show that a happy ending is not possible for Helga and Salazar as a couple.
I mean, I figured the style might not be everyone's thing. I wanted their thoughts to complete each other, so I wrote part of a sentence from one point of view and finished it from another. It's just the way it flowed while I was writing. I really appreciate an honest opinion, because I wasn't sure how it would go over.
Thanks again for coming! I appreciate your time, and I'm so glad I got to read your story as well :)
--Maggie Report Review
I found the style of writing really interesting! I did find it confusing in the first and second paragraph though, I thought the parts of you sentences got cut-off or something then I quickly realised that it wasn't. :P
I love your characterisation of both Helga and Salazar! I also liked the way you didn't just focus the attention on just the two of them but also included their spouses in the story.
I've never read a Helga/Salazar before but this is really really good! Your descriptions were amazing too, the language you used fit the Founders Era and this is just a well done story overall. Great job! ♥
94th review out of 100Author's Response: Hi Izzy, and thanks for the review! I rarely get random reviews, so this one is extra special :) I really appreciate your thoughts!
I was trying out something new with the style, and I really had no idea how it would go over with readers. I meant to have Salazar's and Helga's thoughts intertwine and complete each other, and the cutting off in the middle of sentences was just the way it flowed for me. I'm really glad you found it interesting.
I'm glad you like Helga and Salazar! This is one of several stories I've written about them, and I just love writing them :) And I wanted to show their spouses to give an idea of the reality of their situation, and to add a little angst maybe? I've never written angst before; this is a "first-attempt" story in a lot of areas :)
Thanks again for the awesome review! I'm so glad you enjoyed this, and I appreciate your time so much :)
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