Aaah, Remus. He's so adorable. As expected I completely adored this chapter. Remus was so cute with Marianne's little sister! I swear I'm going to die from happiness overload.
Since you asked a favourite quote, I'm more than willing to give mine:
"Marianne tried not to stare but his toned stomach peeked out from beneath his shirt and she felt her mouth salivate."
I really laughed at that - Marianne seemed so chic and controlled in that first chapter, and now it turns out she's just like the rest of us toned - stomach obsessed girls. How wonderful.
Did I mention I adore them as a couple? They're perfect for each other. That part where Marianne decides to go for it, I was really like "you go girl! you go get that delicious piece of werewolf!"
I might have said that out loud and realized I can't pull it off. I'd better stop ranting now.
Prepare for the next load of crazy reviews tomorrow!

Author's Response: I KNOW!!! I love Remus/Oc fics but they always make him out to be this wet rag, if you know what I mean. So I decided to make him more roguish and handsome ... because this fic is set before the war really started. He IS a Marauder after all so I'm sure he could have popular with the ladies if he wanted to :D

And Marianne is so precious as well. She's a pureblood but isn't your typical rich girl. People actually like her :P

And she WILL go get that delicious piece of werewolf ... but will he accept her advances? Read on my friend!

And I've slowly been reviewing your story as well so look for more reviews coming your way as well!

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It's interesting to see Peter through Aeryn's eyes. While I probably wouldn't really like her in real life, I'm strangely fond of her now. I mean, she just seems like a nice girl who doesn't really know what's good for her - but she's a good person. She's like that overly happy, squealing girl that randomly makes cupcakes for everyone.
Man, I'm probably reading way too much behind it. Also, I was going to stop here and continue reading tomorrow, but I can't do that when Marianne's chapter is the next one! How cruel of you!

- PB

Author's Response: No, you are totally spot on about Aeryn. She IS that overly happy, squealing girl. But she won't make cupcakes for everyone, only Peter. Because she's overly attached to him and is blind to everyone else. So in a way I kinda pity her? But then again, I know I used to be like her haha :P

Thank you again for all your reviews. They totally totally make my day!

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I'm starting to really, really like Gemma. She's quite the character. Not to mention that it's great reading about a female character who has purely sexual relationships. I mean, that almost never happens in fanfiction! It wouldn't be fair if the boys got to have all the fun.
The piece of background story was also nice to read, it made her character more dynamic.

- PB

Author's Response: Gemma!! She's totally my favorite character and she's the one who started this whole story. She's really similar to me in some ways but very different in others. She's one of those people who has a guard wall but once you get past it, she's super loyal and giving. But that will be more apparent in later chapters ;)

Thanks for all your lovely reviews. I really really appreciate them!!

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Another great chapter! I feel like I'm running out of things to say. I like Peter's characterization, it was very realistic. He's a hard character to write, so cheers for really giving him a place in your story.
Oh, and Remus is totally a young Leonardo. Excuse me while I go wipe off my drool.
And on to the next chapter!

- PB

Author's Response: You really don't have to say much, your review is enough for me! As long as people like the story, then I'm happy. So if you're running out of things to say, don't worry :D

Peter is totally had to write. I really dread writing his POV, along with Aeryn's. Peter is just evil ... and just hard to write, man! I dunno what else to say haha. Aeryn is just annoying and kind of reminds me of who I was earlier in my life ... so I honestly try to get thru those two POVs as soon as I can. But I like Peter's eventual plot line so things should get more fun for me as the story progresses!

Mm Leo and Remus. So freaking sexy!

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I would've loved to read more about snarky drunk Remus doing stupid things. That would've made my day. But alas, I'm sure you had your reasons :)
They all seemed surprisingly clear headed after such a night, having conversations and all. Impressive. I'm curious about where you're going with Peter, so I'm going to continue reading!

- PB

Author's Response: You know, a lot of people have been saying that in reviews! I'm about to write the next chapter from Remus' POV and it's going to be a party scene, so I'll try and make him do some snarky, stupid things!

You also point out a problem I realize I'm starting to have ... for plot purposes, I have to be rather frank about people's emotions and relationships in order to keep all the plot lines together and moving forward. I do realize these characters are in their teens and therefore they don't have large mental capacities when it comes to romance/drama but if James and Lily got married right away and had Harry, I figured I could get away with them acting older then they are. I'd also like to think that if young kids ran away from home and joined the Haight Ashbury scene in San Francisco in the 1960s/early 70s, teens in that era might have just been a little bit more grown up ;)

Thank you again for your reviews, they mean a lot!!

And you'll see about Peter. Muahahaha!

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Oh, Sirius, you crazy drunk womaniser. That's how I like him, though. I think your description of the party is great, very different from how most Gryffindor parties are described (sadly, I belong to that group). I still can't believe how brilliant it is to incorporate the atmosphere of the 70's - not that I was there, but anyway - in Hogwarts. Just brilliant. And a great period music-wise! Really, it makes this story so original. I could totally imagine Gemma by the way, very interesting character. Perfect for Sirius.

- PB

Author's Response: Omg Sirius is such a bad boy ... I mean, he has a freaking motorcycle and long hair! So I might have taken that plot line to the extreme but whatever. I still love him in this story.

Although I will say that his bad boy-ness doesn't necessarily mean his romance will be smooth sailing. Gemma is totally perfect for him (and just a darling little hippie creature) but he is kind of a hot head. So you'll see how that plays out :D

I wasn't alive during the 1970s either but I'm from San Francisco so I've gotten a bit of a glimpse of the 1960s/1970s. I've also read a lot of autobiographies of musicians from that time period ... and I've had my own experiences with sex, drugs and rock and roll so there ya go. I'm glad you think it's authentic!!

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Oh, I love this chapter. I absolutely adore Remus/OC stories but it's hard to find good ones! Marianne seems like a great character, and I'm already in love with her clothing style. Again, brilliant description of Remus. I'm curious about them...

- PB

Author's Response: Yes! Remus lovers unite!

I totally love Remus/OCs fics and I totally run into the same problem - recycled plot lines that always end the same way. I kinda have a typical plot for him but then again, I don't. You'll see :P

I just want snuggle Remus and give him a perfect romance (because I tend to identify with him a lot) ... hence Marianne. She's just so cute! And perfect for him! But it's not going to be easy for her. Remus has some issues so she's gotta work thru that. But don't worry, things will end well :D

Thanks for the multiple reviews!

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Hi,

This is one of the best first chapters I've read in the past few months! I like it that you don't focus on one Marauder, you've really captured their personalities. I don't think your paragraphs are that long, either way it doesn't bother me. On the contrary, your descriptions are really good, I can see it all before me. I particularly like the idea of a band - very original.

So, I'm going to continue reading now!

- PB

Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much! I freaking love the Marauders but I've read so many fan fics that have basically the same plot ... So I knew I wanted to write a Marauders tale, but I wanted to have my own take on them :D

This was originally supposed to be a Sirius/OC romance but then I was like, well there has to be side stories too and then it just turned out that I put all of them in there equally. And I love Remus. So there :P

As for the paragraphs, I already went thru and fixed them. You should have seen how long the paragraphs were before ... too many words ;)

Thanks for the review dear!!

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Love this story. It's going to be so hard to wait til may for the next chapter :(. Can't wait though!

Author's Response: Thank you for your review!! The plot bunnies for the next Jily chapter have been attacking me but sadly I don't have the time to write them down. But I will, don't worry!

:D

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HI! It's been long, I know xD
I'm gonna jump straight into reviewing this.
To be honest, this chapter was a tad bit scattered :/ It feels like things are going way too fast. I know you wanted to open the chapter with the dream (I love doing that too xD) but it was all so sudden that Gemma's actually in Sirius's bed.

But, SIRIUSANDGEMA WHE XD
One more thing is, Sirius shouldn't have said THE three words so soon :/ But its cute! Don't worry! I just wish Gemma's reaction would have been more..punk girl-ish and Gemma-ish. The reason we all love her IS because she's badass. There wasn't much of that in this chapter, sorry :/
(I'm so so sorry if I'm being mean! I don't mean to!)

Next up, Lily and James. It's getting interesting but I wish she'd stop being so.. moody and confusing. You're right, 'in love Lily' is so much better. I don't like this irrational jealous side of her. But I'm sure you have lots of Jily plans ahead! I'm looking forward t see what will happen next! :D

Aeryn and Peter. Whoosh. Wth happened xD Don't worry, amazing plot twist but I did not see that coming. So I'm curious! I can't wait to see where you're take this now.

REMUSANDMARIENNE. They're so cute, I can die. xD
I'm not mad at you for the ending. (I've read way too many fanfics I guess xD) because I know you'll bring 'em back. Right?


RIGHT? -.-

Jk, no pressure xD

But, question. You said 'There’s just no way he was just going to kiss her back when he hasn’t even told his friends he loves her.'
But why wouldn't he kiss a girl? Do the Marauder ask each other for permission or consent to kiss a girl? :P I understand if Remus says no because he thinks he's a monster and he can't be loved but this makes no sense to me. Unless I missed out something xD Apologies if I have then!

Anyway, I think this review is pretty much scattered and super mean and I'm so so so so so so so so sorry! I love this story and you and I don't mean to hurt you!


With lots and lots and lots of love,
~NightStar

Author's Response: OMG STOP IT. That was like, the nicest critical review I’ve ever gotten. You were not mean AT ALL.

Ok, time to pull out Word so I can properly respond ….

I kind of meant for this chapter to be scattered and a lot. I’m trying (and who knows if I’m actually succeeding) to model this story after a tv show type plot. So things happen and you’re like whaa? What is going on here? But the next 4 chapters are reactionary chapters from everyone’s points of view. So I went for the shock and awe approach in that respect. I tend to do that a lot when I get to the group chapters … but good to know that things are moving a little fast. I’ll try and factor that in when I write the next group chapter XD

About Gemma and Sirius … so I know everyone thinks Gemma is this total badass, but that’s not how I planned to write her. If she was a Gryffindor, then yes, she would be totally badass and a hothead like Sirius. However, she’s really guarded when you first meet her but once you actually get to know her, she’s a Hufflepuff – really bright and fairy like. She’s not brave, she’s kind of a wimp – hence the whole running away business that’s associated with her. So she puts on this front, but when she wakes up in his bed and he says I love you, he breaks down all her walls. That’s why I chose for Sirius to say the “three little wordsâ€� – to shock her enough so that she realizes that she loves him. So she’s absurdly loyal to him after they decide to get together … which is her biggest fault, as you’ll see in later chapters. So it’s good you noticed that she’s not a badass in this chapter, because it maybe means that things are going to be rocky for the couple. Changing yourself for your significant other doesn’t turn out well, I’ve learned that from personal experience ;)

Jily – yeah, Lily is totally a crazy person. But I figured that if you hated someone for so long and they finally started ignoring you, you’d be like wait what? Where did you go? Why aren’t you bothering me? WHY ARE YOU GONE FROM MY LIFE JAMES? Don’t worry tho, she won’t be crazy for long XD

I didn’t think of the Peter/Aeryn plot twist until I started writing this chapter. But if you read on, you’ll see why I did it. It’s going to add a lot to his betrayal … whoops, did I say that out loud? :D

And no, Remus doesn’t have to ask the Marauders to kiss a girl. It’s totally because he thinks he’s a monster and that Marianne deserves better – if he can’t admit his feelings to his friends, he’s not going to open up his heart right away and kiss her back. Marianne’s got her work cut out for her before that can happen. This will all be explained in his personal chapter, don’t worry!

So again, YOUR REVIEW WAS NOT MEAN. AT ALL. In fact, it’s probably the most constructive review I’ve gotten – I’m going to reference it in the next chapter so everyone can see your questions/concerns and my response. But a lot of your questions will be answered further into the story. This whole thing is supposed to be 35 chapters, mind you XD

MWAH!


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This chapter was fantastic! I liked Sirius and Gemma's interactions and the fight with Regulus and the other slytherins was pretty awesome :D you write really well and I get drawn in heaps. One minor complaint though. It was a bit short, but you got it out quick so I shouldn't complain, sorry D: Also, congratulations on graduating I hope you do well with your degree in the future :D and thanks for telling us when the next update will be, I was checking everyday this past week to see if it updated, that's how good your story is! Thanks for writing it. It absolutely fantastic. Have a great week, and until next update. Good luck with all your endeavours :D

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it!

As for the whole "short" business ... the word count for Another Brick In The Wall (Part 2) is the same as most of the other chapters - I always try to hit 3,000 for the individual chapters and 4,500-5,000 for the combined chapters. So I guess you're referring to the plot? Well, this chapter is supposed to explain Gemma's visions and show that Sirius is a hothead. I didn't want to dwell on detailed paragraphs about feelings and such because I wanted the plot to speak for itself.

Thank you for your words of encouragement! :D :D :D

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So, I'm seeing a lot of similarities between hitlers nazi regime and Voldermorts Death Eater/Pureblood revolution. Namely, when Gemma fears for her parents after an attack near their music hall as they hold mixed audience viewings. This reminded me of ss attacks on business that allowed both Jews and "normal" Germans to access the place. Was this an intentional similarity between the death eaters and SS? Oh and btw stories fantastic! Would have reviewed a later chapter but this comparison intentional or not drew me in and I had to ask. Good luck with all your writing and non writing endeavours :D

Author's Response: oh yes, very very intentional :D

i'm a poli sci major and most of my studies revolve around europe in the 1900s ... so i've always thought that voldemort was a wizard hitler. once i started getting into the politics of fascism, man, i almost considered writing a paper comparing the two. haha that would have been the funniest essay ever.

thanks for the review dear! i am also a proud hufflepuff :D

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Why you do dis!?!??!?! I have to read Peter and then wait like 3 weeks for Sirius and Gemma!? Urrrgh fine aha. I'm not complaining, well I guess I am. But anyway still good just I hate Peter! And I absolutely love Sirius and Gemma, they're my favourite after Remus and Marianne. Well, thank you for gifting me this chapter at least. You're a fantastic author, but still I CAN'T STAND PETER! He's such a rat! Literally and figuratively. Well good luck with Uni (I refuse to call it college you yank!) and good luck with job hunting and all the best with both your writing and your life I guess. Don't think I'm creepy, I love this story. Goodbye.

Author's Response: Ok, so it probably won't be 3 weeks. I'm already done with a 1/4th of it so ... one week? two weeks? I dunno, I can't say yet.

I'm glad you can't stand Peter. I can't either. He and Aeryn are so hard to write. It really pains me. But I can't just skip over Peter, now can I? He's extremely important to the overall plot!

Thanks for the good wishes! I don't think you're creepy, don't worry XD

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WOW!!! I want more!!! I love this story!! It's just so interesting! I really want lily and James to be together!! Hehee!! Wow I am fan girling over this now!! LOL!

Author's Response: The next chapter is waiting to be validated! Your wish will come true soon!

And your other wish about Lily and James might not be for a while ... or might be in two chapters, who knows :P

And fangirls are always accepted here at Wide Awake XD

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Ah! This story! It's amazing, I haven't stopped reading it!! It's really realistic and how you have all the music and everything of the 70's, it's so col :)
I love Sirius and Gemma together! And James was so cute about them!! Awww :) poor Lily though.
Ohh my god, Remus and Marianne have to get together, they'd make such a cute couple, when will he tell the marauders?!?!?
I like the little snippet of the songs at the beginning, it's cool :D
This story is amazing, I hope you keep writing!

Author's Response: Yay!! I'm glad you like it!!

Sirius/Gemma ... oh my god, so much to say about them. They were the reason I started writing this story so I will always love them ... even if they have a lot of ups and downs together.

Remus/Marianne is a very close second tho. THEY ARE ADORABLE. So meant for each other, it's not even funny. But it's gonna take time for Remus to accept that he's human being and not a monster. If Tonks broke thru that barrier, you know Marianne can too XD

The next chapter is waiting to be verified!!

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This is bloody fantastic! I'm hooked I'm not gonna lie. I love the way you weave in the sex, drugs and rock and roll attitude of the 70's with magical world. You wrought the characters extremely well and they are comeplety different in a wonderful and immersing way. I dearly hope to read more of this fantastic story! I wish you well with both your writing endeavours and your university studies.

P.s I love the musical quotes at the start of each chapter, I'm a fan of the Zepp and Creedence. You've got me to listen to the other bands as well! :D good luck and please don't stop writing this fantastic story!

Author's Response: I'm glad you think this story is authentic! I'm trying my hardest to make things look like the 1970s, even though I was born in the 1990s. I've done some digging around to see what things were like and I'm mainly pulling from Eric Clapton's autobiography ... as well as my own experiences with sex, drugs and rock and roll :D

And don't worry, this story isn't going anywhere. Things might slow down when I graduate but I love Wide Awake too much to let it die. I have so much more planned!

Thank god you like the quotes! I wasn't going to stop putting them there (they are my inspiration for each chapter), I was just wondering if people appreciated/listen to them.

Thanks for the review Pat!

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WHAT ARE HAMSTERS?! I figured that frogs were boys, girls were bunny rabbits, and purses were mouths/smiles. BUT WHAT ARE HAMSTERS?! AND THE P-WORD! I literally had to stop after the Aeryn section to just stop and ask that. It's been driving me up the bloody wall. I can't believe that Peter gave her a promise ring! Ahh! And, I love that Lily is getting jealous. YAY! For Sirius and Gemma - horrible what her vision was about though. And... I'm not entirely sure what happened between Marianne and Remus... the slang made me too confused... :/

Author's Response: Hamsters are hands I think? I dunno, I certainly never wrote frogs, bunny rabbits and purses ... or flowery shirts for that matter. I think it's an April Fools prank? I guess it's funny but I'm a little pissed at my timing. A new chapter drops (with a ton of important things) and it's all in code.

:(

I suggest you go back and reread it when they change it back. I'm working on the next chapter and I'll be sure to add a note to everyone saying the same thing.

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I think this is briliant, but please stop with the slang, Im british and have never heard it, yeah use it in dialog but not in the whole text otherwise its hard to follow and i end up bananaing!

Author's Response: Thank you for telling me this. I mean it! I seriously have no idea what I'm actually writing because I'm American ... and lord knows we get things wrong most of the time.

I may go back and edit words out if I have time but I'll put it on my list of things to do!

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THIS CHAPTER WAS JUST I CAN'T.

I'm really glad that Gemma and Sirius are together, but I hope they talk about her Seer abilities more, and what she's seen, etc..

Remus and Marianne in the book shop was lovely. I'm quite glad that you didn't get Remus to kiss her back, because I think that you should have some continuosly progressive relationships besides Jily now that Sirius and Gemma are together.

I think that the lyrics at the beginning of each chapter are great, and they fit in perfectly with the characters emotions.

This was a truly amazing chapter that has contributed to a truly amazing story and I cannot wait to read more!

Author's Response: I KNOW. SO. MANY. THINGS. HAPPENED.

You'll get your wish in about ... 2 chapters? It will be one from Sirius' POV. I'm still working out the details but I think you'll like it :D

Remus and Marianne ... that one hurt to write, I swear. I love them SO hard and I just want them to get together already! Ugh, I want to write so much more but I don't want to give away the plot.

I'm glad you like the lyrics! I really am thinking about putting a Spotify link on my author's page or something ...

Thank you for YOUR truly amazing review :D

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Um, yeah. A confused girl is a bipolar girl. Let's face the facts. One second we can be completely, blissfully happy and once we realize we have feelings for a boy we tend to go loopy. And if you've hated the boy for years, we can go downright mental. And really? Davies... And since I'm assuming he's like Roger.. good god, NO. Just NO. And I love that Lily freaks out as soon as she hears that James' has a date! Hahaha, I can't wait for the next chapter! It's gonna be awesome! And I love that at the end of you note you say that shit goes down. I'm REALLY excited now!

Author's Response: Yup, mental is the correct word. Lily is definitely going mental. I would be too tho - you hate a guy forever but you're used to having him around. So when he's not ... well, you can't help but feel that loss. And if you think you're starting to like him? Well, that's too much to handle. I would have more mood swings than Lily ;)

Walter is similar to his son Roger Davies but they aren't completely the same. You'll see :D

I'm in the middle of writing the next chapter but it's certainly taking awhile. So much plot, so much drama! Hopefully it will be done by Friday at the latest!

Thank you thank you thank you for all of your reviews! I am a better writer because of them XD

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Freakin' LOVE Remus. I'm such a Remus fangirl, it's ridiculous. And Marianne has to be my favorite girl. Although Gemma comes in a close second. Although, seeing as the next chapter is Lily - I don't know. I wasn't sure at first about having all these chapters in everyone's perspectives and all but I really like it. You get to really know all these characters that are living in your head and showing us all these sides of them from everyone's point of view. Also, way to go to Marianne for just busting out and asking him out! I applaud her bravado!

Author's Response: Somehow I KNEW you would like this chapter haha ;) I'm a Remus fangirl too so I tried to make him extra Remus-y in this fic.

I know this story is a LOT - there's constant POV changes and tremendous amounts of detail - but I wanted to make sure that everyone's feelings were clear and out in the open because there are like ... 4 plot lines going on at once. So it was easier for me to write about Gemma being a Seer from her POV than writing Sirius' reactions to her all the time.

And this is all just the beginning really. Things are about to change big time. BIG TIME!

I'm glad you like each individual character. Most of them are based on my own experiences so that's why they are pretty easy to write ;)

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Good God. An entire chapter on Aeryn. Bless your heart, that HAD to be painful. And it's Quidditch! Although I'm sure the game was easier to write about than this girl's thoughts. It makes sense that she's so clingy - she gave up all her friends for Peter. And that's never easy to deal with, but it unfortunately was her fault. And I wonder what is up with Peter.. that has to be confusing for that poor girl.

Author's Response: I KNOW. I really dread writing Aeryn because she's just so annoying ... and because I used to be like her at one point in my life. But that's neither here nor there ;)

The Quidditch match was fun tho. I used to write an Oliver/OC fic in high school so it was nice to go back to my roots so to speak!

Oh, things are about to get a lot more confusing for her, trust me :D

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A Seer eh? Very interesting development. And I adored the beginning. A very political and smart look at the war. Even in the most serious of fics I don't think anyone has ever taken that approach.. Like you said in your author's note - your major is showing. And weirdly, it is always the stoners that seem to have the deepest and realest of conversations.. while they are high. As for Sirius... I hope she does open her eyes and realize what's in front of her.

Author's Response: Originally I wanted Gemma to just be crazy - like Luna Lovegood status - but then I decided to make her a Seer. It ties the plot together nicely, as you'll see in the upcoming chapters.

And I'm glad you like my poli sci twist! I've taken a lot of overlapping classes about WWI and WWII and the whole time I was like ... wow Voldemort and Hitler would totally be friends :D

Bahaha! Yes, stoners for the win. I feel like I'm contractually obligated to say that since I am one ;)

And just you wait! Gemma can't run forever ... or can she??

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Love these boys. Writing about transformations and what goes on has to be difficult. You're a really great writer and I'm happy to have stumbled upon your story! I appreciate that you curse and don't sugar coat it. They are teenage boys. During the 1970s. Shit's gonna get real. And I love that you write it so wonderfully. And the next chapter is on Gemma?? Wow, def a new perspective! I can't wait!

Author's Response: I'm glad you think I can write boys well!! I'm a female so I wasn't sure if I got them down right.

And yes. Shit is definitely going to get real.

As for the transformation ... I know it didn't advance the plot a whole lot but now if I write something like "And then Moony thought about the last time he saw a full moon", you'll know exactly how the whole thing goes without me saying it. And there's some foreshadowing/hints going on in this chapter, but you'll find out about that later :D

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Hmm, very interesting. I like when you get to see into Peter's thoughts in fanfics. To write about his decline is often not covered because most people just can't see into how he was a Marauder and then became Voldemort's spy. I wouldn't ever want to tackle that, but you're doing an excellent job of it so far. To see his steady appeal toward the dark side.

Author's Response: I know! Most writers tend to gloss over Peter. But I understand why - he's really really difficult to write when you truly get down to his motivations and desires. It's not hard per say, I just don't like doing it. He's like Peter Campbell in Mad Men. He's a sneaky little bastard but he doesn't let anyone see him being one. So everyone thinks he's this dope but he's actually pretty cunning.

That's the only way I can explain his betrayal. It had to start somewhere and he had to be SUPER tight lipped to get away with it and fool everyone.

You are hardcore making my night. I'm about 1/4th done with the next chapter and since you've reviewed so much, I'm getting plot bunnies :D

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