Reading Reviews for Insomnia
  
28 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Anonymous Therapy

24th June 2014:
This is fab, update soon :)

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

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Review #2, by mayablack123 Nightmares

16th June 2014:
This story is going so well so far. I hope you keep it up, because I can't wait to read more. I hope it doesn't break my heart though. Yet,I feel like it will.

Author's Response: Well, we do know the fate of both Marlene and Sirius from the books! I won't tell you whether I'm planning on sticking to canon, though. ;)

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Review #3, by lalalalaluhver Nightmares

10th June 2014:
This story is very addictive! Can't wait for the next chapter.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Halfway through writing next chapter, hoping for it to be up soon :3

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Review #4, by BLONDEbehaviour Inescapable

5th September 2013:
Hello! BLONDEbehaviour here with you requested review!

You don't have to worry about plot not being interesting, this has definitely caught my eye!! You have given us enough to tie us in so we can figure out who exactly this girl is and why she no longer wants anything to do jobwise with the wizarding world- extremely intriguing! Will be interesting to see what we find out next!

I think your flow is very well done, it is spaced out just right for the amount of information that you include in this chapter, and the happen-upon by Sirius was done perfectly :) Your characterization of him so far is spot on, just as you would expect him to be,so i wouldn't be worried there :)

Your imagery is amazing, i could picture the rain outside the cafe and the elderly woman with the cardigan and umbrella, very nice. One thing that may help improve this already amazing imagery is the description of the cafe- whats it look like, is it busy etc, just to give us an opening image :)


All in all however, a really interesting start!! Am very intrigued as to where you take this. Feel free to re-request so i can view more :D

Please respond to this review, thanks :)

Blondie

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review! I'm glad that you think so many things that I was worried about were good, it really relieves me. :3 I might re-edit this chapter later and add some descriptions of the cafe, too. ^_^

Thanks!


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Review #5, by toomanycurls Enigma

4th September 2013:
Besides Hagrid, Sirius seems like one of the few wizards with enough bravado to face off with giants. I mean, Marlene and Emmeline went with, but I don't think they'd go without him.

You have really good action through here. You give a good balance of plot movement and action. It was really scary and full of suspense.

I really like the small moments you add where Sirius and Emmeline connect. They're subtle and very well done.

Author's Response: I'm so glad that you think the action is okay, it's not something that I'm all that good at writing (though I am working on it). Thank you so much for the review!

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Review #6, by oldnumberseven  Enigma

4th September 2013:
Hurray, you've updated!!

Man, you are an excellent writer. I could feel the sexual tension oozing between Emmeline and Sirius - it was beautiful! I am interested to see how Sirius feels, though. I can tell he's interested but I can't tell the extent of his curiosity, if that makes sense. But I'm sure I'll figure it out in due time!

And the scene with the giants ... brilliant! It kind of reminded me of the Hobbit, when they meet the three trolls. I could feel Emmeline's terror quite vividly!

I nominated this story for the Best Minor Character Dobby Award, and even though it didn't make it to the final round, I really hope you keep writing because I love everything about Emmeline and this fic!

Carly

Author's Response: Oh my gosh, I can't believe you nominated me! *showers with love* I hope I continue writing this, too, even with school. Emmius (ship name hazzah) is one of my favourite relationships to write ever. :3 Thank you so much!

Ellie


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Review #7, by toomanycurls Unanswerable

4th September 2013:
I love that Emmeline is a flawed character. She is becoming very richly developed. I'm rooting for her to embrace the witch in her. She's a great balance of flawed and likable.

I adore the line "no one liked secrets and lies". It's brilliant.

The way you write Sirius is very, well, seductive. :) Great job personification with him.

Great tension at the end of the chapter. It's not too cliff-y but it definitely greats a good amount of build up for the next installment.

Author's Response: thank you so much, espec. for mentioning the development thing. it's something that i'm trying to work on (though perhaps more on pw, it relates to here too). thank you so much! :3

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Review #8, by toomanycurls Fathomless

4th September 2013:
I can really see James being a fun-time dad. Well, I'm a little on the fence but it fits with his generally jocular personality. It's a great detail to throw in about the people in the story.

The Sirius/Emmeline "why did you go" discussion was awesome. I like that Sirius is so caring. He seems so much more mature than he's usually painted in Marauder Era fics. It fits well at his age. I mean, I'd hope to see a little more maturity after finishing school. It makes him even more of an attractive character. Great almost kiss. I'm dying to know if it's real interest or Sirius being a dog. :)

Oooh, Dumbledore! It made me laugh that Sirius stood up straight when he heard Dumbledore was there. Your wartime Dumbledore is great. He's to the point but still enigmatic. I also really, really, like that Emmeline isn't Miss "I know everyone even if there's no reason to think I have met them before". It makes the story seem that much more real to me.

The plot is forming very nicely. There's enough action to balance out the amount of detail being given.

Author's Response: ashjdkflhjfds I don't even know how to respond to this really except it's a great review and I love all the things you're pointing out :'D

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Review #9, by toomanycurls Recruitment

4th September 2013:
The mystery in this is killing me. I'm (of course) curious about this Paul guy and his relationship with Emmaline. I really like Marlene. She sounds like that one friend from high school that everyone has (in a fabulous way - she's really easy to relate to).

I liked how Lupin recruited Emmaline; great sales pitch. It's interesting to see Sirius so quiet and introspective. I like that spin on him (it indicates that he's interested in Emmaline).

Great inner-dialogue with her choice to join.

Plot-wise it's a good pace so far. I feel like there's enough to make me want to see more and read on. There's a good level of interesting without being interesting for the sake of pizzazz.

Author's Response: Ahhh this is pointing out all the things I wanted (I guess that's the point haha). Thank you!

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Review #10, by toomanycurls Inescapable

4th September 2013:
Great hook in the first chapter. I like that you have a familiar but generally obscure character. I find myself curious about her decision to change her name and live as a Muggle (I'm sure that will come out later on).

The dialogue flowed very well through the chapter. It felt quick and, well, conversational.

I'll definitely have more to say regarding characterization after a bit more development takes place.

Author's Response: Thank you! That means a lot. ^_^

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Review #11, by TearsIMustConceal Unanswerable

25th August 2013:
I absolutely love this story, which shows since I have just read all four chapters and now want more!

Emmeline is mystery to me! One minute, I feel like I understand her, with her talk about being self conscious and her worries about going to the dinner but then there is the whole 'she gave up magic' and she won't explain why and it makes me really want to know more about her and I love that about her!

Also, your writing is amazing. The story flows all the way through each chapter and it makes me want to read more.

Can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Oh, what a lovely review! I'm blushing. ^_^ I have a lot of PW to catch up with, but hopefully I can get another chapter up at some point. :3

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Review #12, by megleo Unanswerable

8th July 2013:
love it!!! please more!!

Author's Response: Thank you! Next chapter is in progress. :)

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Review #13, by BBWotter Unanswerable

4th July 2013:
So intriguing, I love it >.

Author's Response: Thank you! :D

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Review #14, by poisonthewells Unanswerable

3rd July 2013:
I'm really loving this so far! :)

Author's Response: Ah, thank you! :D

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Review #15, by oldnumberseven  Unanswerable

2nd July 2013:
First of all, I love the chapter images! I can see Emmeline a lot clearer now, as funny as that sounds!

I like that Emmeline is starting to become more and more attracted to Sirius. You can feel the sexual tension in the air :D Which should make their Giant adventure (haha!) interesting, considering that he and Marlene dated. I'm still curious about Emmeline's immersion in the Muggle world, but I know you'll answer that question in due time. Right now it adds to the suspense! I also love your portrayal of Lily - she is such the doting mother in this fic!

Great work so far and I can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Ah, thank you! Because I'm a lazy graphic-er you'll just be seeing the same background with a different picture and text for a looong time. :')

Yes, building up of sexual tension is one of my main aims. :P And yes, Marlene will be dragged into it somehow too. XD I actually never really liked Lily that much (probably because I ship Snape/OC so bad) but it's odd how writing her like that has made me like her more.

Thank you!


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Review #16, by rich_blonde marauder23 Fathomless

23rd June 2013:
Hello, hello!

First of all, I really love this story!

The characters are very realistic and completely believable. Also, I love how you started the story towards the end of the FWW, I find it gives us a change of perspective and it gives me the feeling that time is running out, since you know what will eventually happen to all the characters.

Second of all, I love Emmeline, I think she is really intriguing and very realistic, and I'm very curious to know what led her to become a Muggle. Also, I really think it's interesting that you chose to make her your main character, since she doesn't die in the First war, but in the Second, so she'll maybe see Sirius again later on in her life when he escaped from Azakaban.

I also really like Marlene! I like how they used to be best friends, but drifted apart after Hogwarts. I hope we'll see more of their relationship developing, because they're really a dynamic duo.

EXCITEMENT.

Oh, Sirius! I think his characterisation is very good and I love the way he looks at Emmeline. I wonder what will happen between them and how long it will take for them to get together (well, I'm hoping they'll get together), because it's very clear that they don't have much time left.

Love the story, and please update soon!

BTW I love your banner. I like how you portrayed Emmeline and Sirius. Who's the man on the banner you used for Sirius? He actually resembles him! And he is so darn hot.

XXX
Sofia

Author's Response: Ah, this is such a wonderful long view! I just keep reading it over and over. And all of the things you've pointed out are the things that I wanted people to notice, which is good. :'D And the guy on the banner is Eoin Macken. He's a hottie.

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Review #17, by Angela Fathomless

22nd June 2013:
I am loving this storyline! Keep it up :D

Author's Response: Ah, thank you! ^_^

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Review #18, by teeheemarauder24601 Fathomless

16th June 2013:
Love it!! Sosososo much :) I'm intrigued by the plot and just drink up everything you're writing! Keep up the good work! :D

Author's Response: Ahh, thank you! Working on the next chapter now. ;)

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Review #19, by oldnumberseven  Fathomless

11th June 2013:
Awww! I loved this chapter.

Your writing is truly amazing. I'm kind of picky when it comes to first person narratives because sometimes I think they can be overdone but that's not the case here! I feel like I really know Emmeline even though it's still in the early chapters and I don't know why she decided to abandon her friends. I also LOVE the way you write the canon characters - you can tell they are still their mischievous selves, but older and wiser now that they are out of Hogwarts. For example, the scene with Lily and Harry was lovely :D

Can't wait to see what happens next!

Author's Response: Awww your review makes me so happy. I'm just sitting here reading it over and over. :3 Thank you!

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Review #20, by Solo Fathomless

11th June 2013:
Ooo I like this story. I'm intrigued as to why she reverted back to her muggle backstory. Sirius is also brilliantly written, as is Lily! Your characterisation is just fabulous.

Author's Response: Oh, thank you! I'm trying hard to work on characterisation, so that meals a lot. :)

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Review #21, by marauderfan Fathomless

10th June 2013:
I want to know why she left the magical world! Who did she make a promise to? Aaaa!!! (Basically what I'm trying to say, rather incoherently, is that I really like the suspense here. I feel like it's going to be something surprising, but you keep just mentioning it offhand and dropping little references to it here and there and it's building up nicely.)

Dumbledore's discussion of Voldemort made me wonder how much Emmeline actually knows about the war. I mean she's been pretending to be a Muggle for a long time, so I feel like she would be a bit unaware of what's going on. I guess she'll pick up on it fast if she's in the Order!!

Another great chapter!

Author's Response: Ahaha, I'm hoping it will be surprising. You're making me want to consider some different, more interesting plots. XD

Yeah she's pretty out of the loop. People are going to be picking up on that... a lot. :P

Thank you!


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Review #22, by oldnumberseven  Recruitment

2nd June 2013:
Ooo, now I'm hooked!

I like that you started the story after Hogwarts. I've currently got a Marauders story in the works and I wanted to start after they graduated ... but I didn't want to have a bunch of flashbacks. However, I think the way you've set up things is great. I love that Emmeline is about the join The Order ... and I can tell things are about to get intense, but that's what makes this story so exciting!

Can't wait for the plot to progress!!

Author's Response: Aw, you're making me smile. This is a wonderful review. Next chapter is coming up soon, and the plot will get more fast and exciting, I promise! Thank you. :)

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Review #23, by oldnumberseven  Inescapable

2nd June 2013:
Oooo, I'm already liking your story so far!

I totally get that feeling where you're somewhere, doing lord knows what, and you run into someone from your past and you're like ... What are you doing here?? Arg, why can't I melt into the wall?

:D

I'm interested to see why Emmeline decided to abandon the magical world. I also like your portrayal of older Sirius, he's really believable!

Onto the next chapter!

Author's Response: Oh this is such a lovely long review. Made my heart melt a little. ^_^ Thank you!

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Review #24, by naflower05 Recruitment

30th May 2013:
interesting story so far! =] I'd like to see where it goes and why she spilt from the wizarding world! update again soon please! =]

Author's Response: Thank youuu! ^_^ I'm updating soon, the next chapter is nearly finished. :)

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Review #25, by SiriusGal Recruitment

29th May 2013:
Loved this chapter! The description of the room and her feelings were great. I'm really interested to know why she quit magic, but I'm sure I'll have to wait to get the full answer...haha. Great job, can't wait for an update!

Author's Response: Yes you will. ;) I was planning not revealing anything about it all, but it's kinda hard to do whilst in her head so you'll get sprinklings of it as the story continues. Thank you! :)

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