Reading Reviews for Smile
  
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Athene Goodstrength Smile

16th July 2013:
Weasley fluff is the best sort of fluff ;)

This was so adorable. You did a really nice job of setting the scene in the domestic heaven that is The Burrow. I like how before a single child is even born, they're slightly chaotic. Arthur's reaction to the pregnancy is really, really lovely - in fact, I wrote a very similar dialogue between Ron and Hermione in my WIP! Haha! Like father, like son.

The relationship is very realistic to the Arthur and Molly we know, and the characterisation is similarly excellent.

I enjoyed this!

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Review #2, by ginerva_molly_weasley Smile

16th July 2013:
I really love Molly and Arthur but I can't even put into words how much I love this story. It is absolutely fantasticallistically wonderful! I even had to make up my own word to say how awesome it is!

Arthur and Molly's early life together isn't often talked about so I always wondered how they started out, whether they started out at a small house or whether they moved into the Burrow and just built their family home on top. I love that it was the latter as it shows the poverty they lived in. They wouldn't have been able to find anything else that they could afford to move to.

I also love how you had Arthur tinkering around with all of the muggle toys as it shows that even before all the children were around his love for the muggle artefacts was still there. The little bit about the flying car was very humerous considering what happened later with the Ford Angila.

Also his reaction to Molly's news is fantastic. I have always seen him like that because he is such a family man. Its awesome!!!

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Review #3, by cypress Smile

28th March 2013:
Hello! cypress here. Thanks so much for your submission to my Five Senses challenge. Now for the review...

I like your use of onomatopoeia when describing the bubbles: "then bursting, tearing themselves apart with a soft plup". And personification: "She threw a lump of butter into it, watching as it skated on the surface of the pan, smearing the black with deep gold."

I really enjoy the way you portray Molly and Arthur's relationship! I think your description of Arthur's smiles and and Molly's constant struggle to maintain her stern exterior plays really well and really helps to make their interactions realistic. It gives them personality.

This sentence is lovely: "They made an angry hiss as they touched the melted butter, browning instantly with a spurt of steam." I can see it and hear it and I can practically smell it because I know what it SHOULD smell like, even if you haven't told me. I think you've done a good job throughout of balancing your imagery - not giving too little or too much. After all - it really is possible to describe something to death, but you've done an awesome job of finding the middle ground!

And this part: "He widened his eyes a little, forcing a laugh, and looked back to his newspaper. 'You're probably right. Silly idea, really… a flying car… who'd want that?'" That made me laugh so hard! I can just imagine the wheels turning in his head. I love that you included that bit of canon there.

Also, their dialogue, like the rest of their interaction, is just absolutely precious! "Arthur..." "Molly?" etc. and so forth. You did a great job of capturing the back and forth it was like watching a tennis match. Really well done there. :) And the ending was so sweet. I think that you captured Arthur's wide-eyed childlike wonder so well - the way he thought dancing was the sort of sport where effort mattered more than skill: priceless!

Overall, I loved it. Thanks so much for writing this. I'll be PMing the results of the contest soon.

Cheers,
cypress

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed reading it - I know I had a lot of fun writing it. Thank you for setting such an interesting challenge - it really got me thinking about the way I write, which is sometimes a little rushed, so I think it got me to slow down a little.
Thank you for reviewing and setting the challenge!


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Review #4, by marauder5 Smile

8th February 2013:
This was wonderful! Thank you for brightening up my afternoon (I was a little depressed because of the weather in my town, but I'm all better now!!) ;) Funny how you named your story Smile, because it definitely made me smile - maybe that's what you were going for? If so, congratulations, you've succeeded!

I loved basically everything about this one-shot, from the wonderful descriptions to the spot-on characterization. Arthur was perfect. I couldn't help but laugh at Molly's comment about making the car fly - if only she'd known that her future sons would end up flying across the country in it, and that her youngest son would crash it into a tree, almost getting himself expelled. Hilarious ;)

Anyway, you're a great writer, so just keep it up. I love to read your stories! This one gets 10/10 from me!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! All of your reviews are so lovely, and I really appreciate them! Thank you for reading so much of my stuff!

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Review #5, by Canadian_Hogwarts Smile

20th January 2013:
What a lovely story :) I really enjoyed it. I really liked the way you wrote Arthur especially. He's very sweet and absent minded, and just altogether Arthurish. And your description of the breakfast made me hungry! Nice work!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for such a lovely review!

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