Reading Reviews for She, He
4 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Martyna She, he

13th March 2013:
I forgot to add that this story is also amazing :)

Author's Response: Thank you :) *hug*

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Review #2, by Martyna She, he

13th March 2013:
I'm really sorry that I writing this here, but I didin't know how to contact with you.
I'm Martyna and I'm from Poland.
I have a really important question to you: I loved your story ,,Salt Rocks'' and I really want to translate that to polish language and share it on my blog of course under your authorship and inserts a link to the original.What you think about this?
I will be really glad if you agree

Author's Response: Hey Martyna, sorry for taking so long to get back to you.
I'm glad you liked Salt Rocks but i'm sorry to say that I'd rather you didn't translate it. I'm thrilled that you want too but I've had bad experiences with this before. Thanks for asking first though, x

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Review #3, by River_Treasure She, he

15th February 2013:
Brilliant! I want to read more!

Author's Response: Thanks, I'm glad you liked it :D x

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Review #4, by cranes113 She, he

9th February 2013:
Interesting. Your 'story' was unique, especially in the sense that it was more of an essay analyzing the characters Lily and James than a series of events.
I liked that you used the writing tool of repetition, and that you have shown an aptitude for provoking emotion in readers. This is really one of your strong points; I think you should expand on this concept. You used repetition not only in your ideas (which conveyed Lily as having a dark yet thoughtful side to her, and James as far more cheerful) but also in you sentence structure. Also, I'd like to commend you on your lack of grammar mistakes. You used a plethora of thought-provoking words, and among them, I found very few grammatical mistakes.
If you don't mind a little constructive criticism, I'd like to make some suggestions. Repetition, which you used to great effect throughout your piece, should be used sparingly or with slight variations. If everything is exactly the same without fluctuation through the entire piece, it can become dry and nondescript. I would also like to point out that you've described Lily as a far darker character than most people would choose to accept. She might not have been the most welcoming of people, but she doesn't strike me as the type to be visiting cemeteries on a regular basis. Nor does she strike me as the type of Gryffindor to be frightened of Slytherins or her family. You might also consider varying your sentence structure--your primary subject for each sentence is also the subject of the paragraph. However,
Overall, it was nicely done. Very nice work.

Author's Response: Thanks for the amazing review! it is more of a character study I know.

Thanks for the CC, I just wanted to portray Lily differently than the perfect Gryffindor who is perfect and loves everyone (except james) but I see your point. Thank you for the amazing review!

- Jasmine

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