Hello! I'm here from Review Tag.
This is definitely an interesting start to the story. I want to commend you for making this back story such a compelling read. I liked how you sprinkled it throughout the chapter without dumping it on us. And even though it was a very lot of back story, I found myself wanting to read it instead of skimming along.
The era you chose for this story is also compelling. You have obviously built up quite a bit of history with these characters and I like how it ties back in to Hermione and Ron and Draco. There is a lot of family tension here, which I am reserving my opinion of until the story progresses. It will be interesting to see how Hugo's attitude towards the Malfoys affects your main character and the choices she makes.
I love the opener. It was so fast-paced and vibrant and there were definite dark elements in play around it. I would love to know more about the mission and how these two have come to the conclusion that another Philosopher's Stone is the only answer to their problems. They must have quite a huge problem indeed.
A great start to your story. Please continue!Author's Response: :) * insert mischievous smile here* This is by far my favorite story that I have written. I hope you continue to enjoy it. Happy Reading~ Lady Report Review
So much information! Wow! This was a lovely beginning. I was really intrigued by the whole alchemist bit and Roe and James trying to create a philosophers stone. It seems like such a serious measure to take so many people's souls, and I'm curious as to what sort of people your characters have become in order to proceed with such a hefty task. Like Roe says in the story, and like we know from canon, taking someone's soul is so much worse than death.
I'm really enjoying this thorough and super-detailed back story though about Roe and Hermione and Draco. I'm very curious to read more and I hope you update soon.
I don't know what else to really say except that you're amazing. Both your stories are clearly going somewhere awesome with their plot lines. And it's so different from anything else I've read lately. I love it. So please, keep writing.
xxEnigmaticEyes16Author's Response: Hello!
Sorry I'm just getting around to answering reviews. :) I'm not going to lie this is a dark story. I don't want to give much away but I'm excited for all the wrong reasons. The best news is this story is 90% written and the first five chapters are being edited. I'm also back to writing so UE should have a new chapter by the end of the month. Report Review
Afternoon. (Well, it's afternoon where I am, anyway.) *waves* I'm here from tag.
So, this is an interesting idea, and not one that I've seen before in fic - a couple trying to become the next Flamels by creating a new Philosopher's Stone. The connection you've made between that and Dementors is also interesting, and I hope we get to see more of the magical/alchemical process behind some of the magical theory you've come up with here. I'd love to see how Roe and James (Jameson?) go about deconstructing Dementors. Because I'm a geek. :D
Some of the writing here could do with a bit of touching up, though. You've got a fair few typos and grammatical errors, and bits and pieces can be a bit confusing. For example, it took me a bit of detective work to figure out that Roe and Andromeda are the same person, and I'm still not sure what James' real name is. You could probably do with a line break or something to separate the soul-hunting scene with the Roe-and-Hr scene, too, because that threw me off a bit.
Anyway, happy writing, for both this if you've decided to continue with it past NaNo, and for Unexpected Expectations. :)Author's Response: Hi Caoty!
Thank you for reading it through, I know my grammar and spelling are on the wrong. I've picked up some books on it so I can better myself. Sorry for the confusion, James is Jameason, I'll go back in and make it flow a bit better, intros are always the worst for me. Andromeda's original name was Alexandria. While editing it I think I took out to much of the first scene.
The dementors was so fun figuring out I just hope the story doesn't get shunned when I reveille it. UE is next, but I hope you come back to read more, after I have time to edit it of course. happy reading ~ Lady Report Review
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