For the 3 chapters you have wrote, i think they are amazing. i really want to read more. by the way Freddie is acting i have a sneaky feeling he has a Crush on Jess... please write more!!! i love it!!! x

Author's Response: Thanks very much, I never had 'amazing' before! I've written quite a lot of this story so expect quick updates (chapter 4 is in the queue today). As for Freddie, is he really that obvious?! You'll just have to wait and see if anything comes of that :)

 Report Review

I really really love the story!! But it is so confusing that you changed Mark's name to Jack and Zoe's to beth?? Or are these two different people and omg JUST MAKE JESS AND JAMES KISS :))

Author's Response: I am an idiot! I've changed both names about four times and this was the only chapter I missed because I was making loads of plot changes to this one. It's all changed now so hopefully it makes a bit more sense.
Thanks for reviewing, I'd never have noticed it otherwise. I'm glad you like the story! xxx

 Report Review

I love it. I love the plot, the long chapters and of course the lovely characters. Definitely keep going with this :)
The only thing I don't understand is: are Mark and Jack the same person, but you just accidentally made a mistake or are there two different characters in the quidditch team?

Good job :)

Author's Response: Thanks! I have Changed the names about four times and this chapter was the only one I hadn't amended because I was making so many changes, thanks for letting me know!!
Glad you like it!

 Report Review

I love that challenge! It's just great!

This first chapter was really fun, it had a good pace and you introduced a lot of OCs that I'm curious to see how you incorporate into the story.

That being said, I have to say that at times I had difficulty following who was saying what and where it was happening. I think if you work a bit on your descriptions and the setting of the chapter it will make more sense.

In the paragraph where they find Aiden in the bathroom, I had to read that part a few times to understand what was going on and who was there.

I liked the humor in this story a lot and the way in which you incorporated the Potters and the Weasleys. Looking forward to reading more!

Ral

Author's Response: Yay, first review!

Thanks for the advice, I completely agree. I don't have a beta for this at the moment so it's great to have the feedback.

I know what you mean about the bathroom scene. Pace was something I have worked on from previous stories but maybe I got carried away with hurrying things along.

I'm glad you think the humour is ok- I sometimes think no one else will understand my sense of humour or find the same things funny as I do, so thanks!

Thanks for the really helpful feedback!

T XX

 Report Review