Reading Reviews for The Feisty Girl in Red
1 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Owlpost68 Welcome to Hogwarts

30th June 2013:
Hi! I'm so happy to be your first review! First off, congrats on starting your first story! I liked how you had the interaction between his parents, it was really cute. His mom wanting to cry, and Sirius and Regulus. I do think there are quite a few things to work on, there are lots of people on the Forums that would help called beta's and they could go through and help with grammar, dialog, stuff like that. First off, I'd just go through and see if everything comes as natural as if you'd say it, it's so important for story flow. The more you read the more you'll know what I'm talking about. Also things like how Sirius and James knew Lily's and Snape's names? there wasn't any introduction or background on how they'd know them.
They were all very cute, but I think you could do with some help that there are plenty of people willing to give :)
I think you have potential, I hope I haven't been harsh, but to quote Dumbledore "Help will always be given to those who ask for it." Sorcerer's Stone
Good luck!

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login