I really like your story. The plot is original and refreshing. Please carry on writing.
Now, I don't know how to say this without sounding like a know-it-all, so I'm really sorry if I sound bossy or boastful, but the White Rabbit and Alice In Wonderland belong to Charles Lutwidge Dodgson (better known by his pen name, Lewis Carroll), not C.S Lewis. C.S Lewis wrote the Narnia series. Sorry again if I was too tactless. :)Author's Response: That is true and I am an idiot. I have self diagnosed nominative dysphagia - well, my dad diagnosed me with it, and it basically means that I know what I mean, but it comes out completely wrong. I don't notice until people give me funny looks - so thank you for the funny look! I do know that it was Lewis Carroll, honest! Anyway, thank you for notifying me of my idiotic blunder, and please don't hesitate to point out any more. I would be much obliged.
I'm glad you like my plot and I do hope you continue reading. Thanks again,
P.S. As a sidenote, my username came from a bout of nominative dysphagia too! Report Review
I think it's a good start. You can already see what kind of a girl Mia is and get a feel of what she will become later in the story (I presume, they aren't going to stay 11 for the whole of the story). I can't wait for the next chapters and to see more what Al is like. Good job, especially for a first fanfic :)Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing. :) Both characters will develop through the fic, and no, they won't be 11 for the whole story. A few crucial things have to happen in the first year, but I will be going right through to seventh year. Maybe even a bit further. I'm not quite sure yet. Report Review
I honestly think this fic is brill. Please push it and make as enjoyable a read as poss. Love the thought that you can spell and have a command of english grammer - for too many on the net are not. When I found the summary I laughed out loud as I like the concept so muchAuthor's Response: Thank you for reviewing. I do hope that it will be enjoyable to read. I am very conscious of grammar and spelling, and although there may be a couple of errors, I do try to make my writing as correct as possible.
I'm glad you liked my summary and the concept. I've had the concept in my mind for a while now, but had to tweak it a bit to fit Harry Potter, as before it wasn't anything to do with HP. Report Review
Love it. :) please update soonAuthor's Response: Thanks for reviewing. :) The second chapter is bein validated and the thhird chapter is ready to go. Report Review
i can picture mia as the next hermione, besides rose of course.
anyway i love this story already and it's only the first chapter. though its starting if first year i wonder how your going to continue it, and she knows scorpius? how? isn't she a muggleborn? also what if they were sorted into ravenclaw? wouldn't that make it interesting? im sure the potter family could handle hufflepuff and gryffindor, definitely not slytherin, i think everyone would be surprised at something different. and im sure al wants to be as far away from the potter legacy as he can get.
ANYWAY i can't wait for the next chapter!Author's Response: I have written the 2nd and 3rd chapters, though they need to make it through validation. The sorting is in the next chapter, and I admit I didn't know what house either were going to be in 'til I wrote it.
I hope you are happy with what I decided on in the end. Thanks for reviewing!
I think this story has potential, but I also think readers would enjoy it so much better if you gave them an insight of Emilia's past. We so far know nothing about Emilia except that she's the daughter of the queen, and hates it, but is glad Albus wants to make friends with her. What is she actually like? Apart from that, I think it's pretty good for your first fanfiction.Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing. Don't worry, that's going to come in piece by piece through the story.
Chapter 2 will be coming up as soon as it gets through the validation process, and I'm currently in the process of writing chapter 3, which should be up soon too. Both add puzzle pieces into Mia's character. Report Review
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