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Reading Reviews for That Escalated Quickly
23 Reviews Found

Review #1, by alicia and anne Before the Party

30th July 2015:
Oh Hermione! Ron is only doing that so that he can make you jealous! We all know that Lavender belongs to Theodore Nott... oh, wait, that's just my own headcanon. :P Haha


I can't believe that Hermione is going to stoop so low as to invite Cormac to the party in revenge. That's the lowest of the low... and it's going to be epically awesome!

Haha you've got Cormac's personality down to a 'T' and he's just got the right amount of arrogance and self righteousness. He's amazing! And you're brilliant!

This was such a good first chapter, and I can't wait to see what happens in the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks for stopping by on this story as well!

This story was a fun thing for me to start, and I'm kind of sad I never got around to really finishing it, but who knows--I just might do that sometime!

Cormac is an interesting character to write because while he is the stereotypical rude and BMOC jerk you expect him to be, he also has a bit more depth to him than that, due to the fact he has an interest in Hermione Granger, a girl who his stereotype does not typically go for. Plus, add in a frustrated and annoyed Hermione Granger, and all sorts of stuff can happen!

Thanks for the lovely review--I just might have to take a swing at this again! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

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Review #2, by Dodo2002 Intensity

20th May 2015:
Your story's idea is amazing. But I see you haven't been writing since 2013? Why, it's a really wonderful story and I can't wait to see what's next.

Author's Response: Oh thank you!! I was actually planning on re-writing this sometime over the summer so you might see this little thing updated! :) I always wanted to see how I could make Hermione and Cormac work as a couple, but I got involved in other things and just sort of forgot about this piece until I did a serious reorganization of my HPFF fics. Thanks for the review, and keep an eye out for an update sometime in June or July! :)

~MadiMalfoy x

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Review #3, by DarknessIsMyOnlyFriend Intensity

31st May 2014:
So far, I think you are doing Hermione justice. She would not make a scene, but calmly placing his hand back is in character.
Although her talk(s) with Mclaggen seemed a bit much, I think. I always viewed her as more subtle. Until she is pushed too far of course. However, in this case it seemed too soon for that. I see her more as subtle, as in the first moment with his hand, instead of aggressive. That is of course, my interpretation.

Also it was bit confusing...she left the party to go to the library. And than wished for the party to be over soon? Also, she brought a bag filled with homework to the party? Or was she having dinner in the great hall.not at the party? That part wasn't all clear for me.
Since the party was going to be that night.and then suddenly everyone was out of the common room, Neville was sleeping on his book. And the party still had to happen.

I think the storyidea is good. But some parts are a little confusing in my opinion.

Author's Response: Well you would not be wrong in how my characterization of her kind of slips out of what I typically write her as, I thank you for pointing out where my discrepancies lie. I agree that she is more of a subtle person, so I'll tone down her conversations with McLaggen some and make them more maturely handled.

Yeah the party scene got all jumbled in my head and then I realized my total word vomit in the chapter after I had posted it at around 1 am. Needless to say, I am very embarrassed of that catastrophe of a timeline and will definitely be fixing it! I think I'm planning on the party being in about a week or so, just to make Hermione's agreeing to go with Cormac really seem last minute.

Thank you so much for the wonderful reviews, I'll definitely come back to you again! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

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Review #4, by DarknessIsMyOnlyFriend Before the Party

31st May 2014:
I'm sorry for the (really long) wait! But here is the requested review!

It's a good story. It's a short chapter, but the content is good. I had a few things that stood out as I was reading it.

In the beginning you state that 'Ron had been a complete a***' twice. Perhaps you could give an example, besides snogging Lavender. By mentioning it twice but not elaborating, it makes it seem rushed.

Also, you say at the end that she could not decide how she felt about him...but throughout the chapter it seems that she does know and that he was simply a last resort of sorts.

I found one word to be used quite frequently in the first few paragraphs; though/although. It became a little repetitive. So perhaps find a synonym for it?

Author's Response: No worries about the wait, I've been busy too! :)

Firstly, thank you for reading this rather awful incomplete short story that hasn't been updated in over a year! Now that you mention it, I hadn't noticed the Ron comment before...I'll have to go back and elaborate on just what he did (essentially begging Hermione to continue doing his schoolwork for him while he's off rendezvousing with Lavender is what I'm going say).

Yeah...I tend to have a bit of a problem with tying things up at the end of a chapter differently than how the chapter starts/is in the middle due to haphazardly writing and forgetting what I've already written. I'll make sure to make it more clear just how she feels about him right away rather than muddle through it.

During the time I wrote this, I loved using those words, so it's understandable they're overused. I'll replace them with synonyms where appropriate.

Thank you so much! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

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Review #5, by marauderfan Intensity

27th December 2013:
Hello! Here with your requested review!

I was glad to see this story pop up again in my review thread as I really enjoyed the first chapter! :)

Poor Hermione, her impulsive decision to ask Cormac is catching up to her now, and I can see she's starting to regret it. I think that's realistic for Hermione, she's the type to over-think things especially if she's questioning a decision.

However, I think the way she acted around Cormac in this was, generally, a bit out of character. The first paragraph was good, I can see her doing something like subtly but firmly moving Cormac's hand off of her, but the following snide comments didn't seem very Hermioneish. I personally didn't think she'd be quite as rude to him as she was here.

Now that I think about it, Cormac was pretty rude and forward too, although there's not much of him in canon so I can't say whether it holds true to his personality in the book. There was one line in particular about him being "the greatest thing to happen to Gryffindor house, since Godric himself", and I can't imagine a real person saying that about themselves. Though, Cormac is really arrogant so maybe he legitimately does think that about himself haha.

Anyway, I think this is a good chapter showcasing Hermione getting cold feet about agreeing to be Cormac's date, but I think the details of their conversations could be worked on a little to make them a bit more in character. I'd say tone down the rude and biting remarks from Hermione, and it'll be great! :) Hope this helps!

Great work, and thanks for the request!

Author's Response: Going back and rereading this makes me agree with you that it is rather out of character for her to be so rude. I will eventually get around to fixing it and making her more polite about pushing Cormac's advances off. Thank you very much for the helpful review! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

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Review #6, by ReillyJade Before the Party

28th July 2013:
Hello! :) Reilly here with your requested review!

This is a very fun start to a story! It's short, but it sets a very youthful tone that's hard to find in fan fiction. From this chapter, I'm getting the vibe that it's not going to be one of those stories that's going to depress me at some point, haha.

I think the strongest aspect of this chapter was characterization. The first two paragraphs seemed like a lot of rambling, which was perfect, seeing as Hermione has a tendency to rattle on when she's frustrated; I'd expected her inner monologue to be just as you described. Furthermore, for Cormac, you've captured his arrogance and confidence perfectly. As such, you've really kept him in-character as well.

You mentioned plot believability in your request. This is only the first chapter so it's a little difficult to give a solid comment on that. However, if you're shooting for canon-compliancy, you definitely seem to be on the right track. This honestly seemed like a missing piece from the book.

My lone suggestion is to keep an eye on your balance of dialogue and narrative. This chapter may be an exception simply because it's so short, but it did get very dialogue-heavy toward the end. I think fluffing it up with Hermione's thoughts in a couple of places could balance it out a little more. Just something to think about in future chapters. :)

Overall, I think you're off to a great start! :D

Author's Response: I began writing this to counter my darker Draco/Hermione novel and to strengthen my humorous and fluffy writing skills. Don't worry, it won't depress you, it's just one of those fun pieces.

Many people have said that I have a knack for getting into character and staying close to canon so I'm glad you think so too! Sometimes it's hard with non-canon relationships but for this one I still don't know if Hermione and Cormac get together or if Ron comes back to Hermione.

Sometimes my balance can get a little skewed; I've noticed it in my other stories as well. I'll probably go back and edit it again to add more description/thought process from Hermione to balance it out.

Thank you for the wonderful review! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

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Review #7, by Siriusly89 Before the Party

15th July 2013:
Hi again! Iím here with Review #2!

Ah! Hermione and the disaster-date with Cormac McLaggen! I like how she repeated herself in the first paragraph about Ron, it was very Hermione-ish! You really have a knack for getting into character, donít you? Ah, so she had been planning on going with Ron, but then she jumped the gun and invited a complete berk, so she couldnít go with Harry! I always wondered why they didnít go together, although Ron wouldíve probably gotten really annoyed had they!

Hermione? Really? You Ďcanít decideí whether you hate McLaggen or not? The guy is a complete and utter pain in the behind! You just canít admit it because you want to have one over on Ron! Bad Hermione, letting your pride get in the way!

Bad, I tell you, bad.

And that concludes review two! Thank you so much for entering my challenge in the first place and I really enjoyed reviewing these two pieces!

Author's Response: Hermione/Cormac seems like such an under-developed ship that I just had to write about it! Considering I do have 4 WIPs though, it's hard to update them all evenly!

I have a knack for getting into character? That's one of the best compliments I've ever received, thank you!! :)

Obviously Hermione was going to ask Ron, because she OBVIOUSLY was in love with him, he was just too blind to see it, so she was going to use the party as an excuse to get things moving with him. Then he got with Lavender and she wanted to get back at him, etc etc. Hermione being prideful was something I really liked, so I did have her not able to decide how she really felt about McLaggen, yet, at least! :P

Thanks again for the wonderful review, and a great challenge! I will definitely enter in one of yours in the future if it strikes my liking! :)
~MadiMalfoy xx

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Review #8, by ShadowRose Before the Party

11th July 2013:
Hi Madi, I'm here with your requested review!

This is a really great start - I really love "missing moment" type stories, and that definitely fits what you've got going here! Also, I love that you're keeping the story close to canon (even though it will eventually depart from it, I assume, given that it's a Hermione/OC) as well, adding little details here and there, like Ron and Lavender's and Harry and Ginny's relationships, that give the reader a sense of where this story falls in the series.

I also really like the way you've characterized Hermione here - you focus more on her as a teenage girl rather than just the brightest witch of her age, which makes her very relatable to the reader. At the same time, you've still kept her personality the same, and that makes me happy. :)

There was one little phrasing issue I noticed here, "Oh, who was kidding, he's a complete and utter jerk!" I assume that's supposed to be "who was I kidding." Also, there's a little bit of a discrepancy with the spacing. They're closer together, the way that is easiest for the reader to see, for the first two or three paragraphs, and then get larger for the rest of the story. That's just a real quick fix in the chapter editor. :)

I also think this chapter could use a little more detail as well. It's quite short right now, which isn't a problem per say, but I think there's a lot more elaboration you could do with this scene, maybe talking about how Hermione feels during her conversation with Cormac, because you go from her feeling uncomfortable to "graciously accepting" a kiss on the cheek from him, so it'd be nice to see some of her thoughts during their brief conversation - it seems like they cover a lot of space during their short conversation, given that they get all the way to the common room, but there's not much dialogue, so obviously Hermione's probably thinking, and I'd really love to see some of her thoughts there, and maybe some more sensory details so that the reader can see what's going on.

I really hope this review wasn't too harsh - I think this story has tons of potential, and I really want to help you make it the best possible! :) Feel free to re-request for future chapters!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

Author's Response: Thank you for the wonderfully detailed review!!

As of right now, I don't know whether or not I'm actually going to have Hermione and Cormac end up together together, or just kind of be one of those short little flings that I usually despise. xD That is one part of why I'm trying to keep their characters close to canon. Also, I hate anything super duper OOC because it just doesn't seem real in my mind then.

Oh thank you for catching that mistake! Sometimes when I go back and edit things, I'll accidentally delete something that wasn't supposed to and not realize it, so thank you! Yeah with the spacing, something's weird with the whole chapter--I've tried fixing it when I've edited it, but it just kind of stays the same so I don't really know what to do about it. But thanks for mentioning it! :)

It seems to me that I tend to write really short opening chapters, just as sort of prologues or hooks to interest readers. I will agree with you that there could definitely be more detail, so I will go back and edit this to add more of Hermione's thoughts and descriptions of the setting so it's not all up in the air. As I've gone back to look at this stuff again and again I realized their conversation really is rather short, so I will probably lengthen it out some to give their feelings a little more depth and clarity.

Thank you so so much for this review! It wasn't harsh at all! I will be sure to re-request! :)
~MadiMalfoy xx

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Review #9, by BookDinosaur Before the Party

3rd July 2013:
Hello Madi! I'm here with your requested review!

This was a really interesting idea for a story. I love reading 'missing moments' so to speak, so this story was really fun to read for me. :) This story was really well in line with the Hogwarts Era, you haven't written anything that doesn't go along with the original HP series so well done with that as well.

Hermione's characterisation was good, I loved that you portrayed her as a teenage girl with boy problems rather than the brightest witch of her age. In this story, she's just another girl, and I really loved that aspect of this story. Her actions are really well in line with canon as well, so big kudos for you there.

Cormac was also really good - he was as arrogant and unintentionally hilarious as he was in the books, swagger and all. He's so taken with himself, it made me laugh in a couple of places. I mean, "am I right or am I right?" I did like how you made him so oblivious to Hermione's real intentions with him. :P Boys: Too clueless for their own good. ;)

Anyway, all in all I really like this story so far and I enjoyed reading this chapter. Feel free to re-request!

Author's Response: Ooooh yay! :D

I'm glad you liked Hermione's characterization because I was worried I would make her too frivolous and girly and non-Hermione-ish. I don't like writing things that don't follow canon at all, but I do like deviating, it's fun. :) Oh, Cormac. He's probably my favorite to write at the moment, simply because he's such an arrogant git that I can over exaggerate his mannerisms and it fits his persona perfectly!

Thanks for another wonderful review, I'll be sure to re-request! :D
~MadiMalfoy xx

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Review #10, by marauderfan Before the Party

3rd July 2013:
Hello! Here with your requested review.

I love this! It's a great start, and I really enjoy reading missing moments. I like Hermione's voice as a narrator. And anything with the absurdly self assured Cormac McLaggen is going to be great! ;)

Your characterisation is really good. Cormac seems pretty impressed with himself, and really clueless as to Hermione's motives, which is spot on! One thing you might want to look at though - the line "Right you are Granger, right you are" seemed a bit weird for him. It sounded more like something in Slughorn's style of speaking, to be honest. So maybe re-word that, and otherwise Cormac is great.

You've done well with Hermione too. I like that you've captured the more silly side of her personality in this, and how she clearly dislikes McLaggen from the beginning but is sticking with her plan to make Ron jealous. Oh and I laughed at the bit about Cormac's "golden curls and chiselled jaw line" - that's also descriptive of Gilderoy Lockhart. Hermione sure has a type, doesn't she ;)

Great job on this chapter! Feel free to re-request :)

Author's Response: Yay thanks for the quick turn around, holy geez! :) I was worried about Cormac's characterization because we don't know a whole about him except he's filthy rich and an absurdly pompous prat, so I wanted to go in depth with him a little bit. This is meant to be fluffy and humorous, so I don't even know if I'll have Hermione and Cormac end up together or not yet!

Thank you for the wonderful review--I'll go back and look at that one line to see how I can change it--and I will definitely re-request! :)
~MadiMalfoy xx

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Review #11, by LilyLou Intensity

2nd July 2013:
LilyLou here with your review request!

It's getting good! there isn't much elaboration, like
there would be in most stories, though there really
isn't any reason why, given we all know what the
story is like.

Cormac, as I said before, is an arrogant character,
and you've portrayed him quite well. Hermione's
character was, again, portrayed well, given the
circumstances. She is a hard character to write,
and you've done it well!

Now, the only thing I find a bit off is the fact that
Hermione's being so... rude, is a way to put it...
when they're going together as a date. Yes, I know
she was never a fan of Cormac, but you made her a
bit out of character, in my opinion. I just can't really
imagine Hermione being like that. Only when pushed
to her limit, and she really hasn't been quite yet.
That's my opinion- others may say otherwise!

I do like your throwing Draco into the mix. It put a
smile on my face- I love Hermione/Draco interaction,
in any relationship. Whether it's hate or love, I
absolutely adore it. And it was a bit clever to just
throw him in for the tiniest part.

Your chapters are a wee bit short. Perhaps if you
were to add a bit more elaboration and/or details, it
would extend the length- everyone loves a lengthy

Keep writing!


Author's Response: Yes I was kind of worried about her characterization in this chapter since this is kind of a new moment for Hermione/Cormac. I will definitely go back and edit it to change her mannerisms so she isn't as rude. I was just trying to envision her like she was at the party when she's escaping Cormac from under the mistletoe. I think I'll add some stuff here and there in both chapters to lengthen them, but this isn't my main story and is only going to be a short piece so they won't be super long.

Thanks for the double review, it was a wonderful surprise! :) xx

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Review #12, by LilyLou Before the Party

2nd July 2013:
LilyLou here with your request review!

Since it's such a small story, I figured I'd leave a review for both chapters!

Okay, so first off, McLaggen's character is absolutely perfect, in my eyes. He's quite arrogant, in the book and movie, so you portrayed that quite well with things such as "it'd look better if we didn't clash, am I right or am I right, eh Granger?" I do love how he wasn't very subtle about his feelings towards Hermione, and how you made him quite oblivious towards Hermione's true feelings for him.

Hermione's character is always a more difficult one to portray correctly. Her and Harry, in my opinion. I believe, however, that you accomplished writing her quite well. How you had her ranting in the beginning about Ron and Lavender was a job well done, as well as mentioning how Harry invited her to go with him as friends. It plays along with the story line.

As for being a Hogwarts Era, it's another Outstanding for you! I've read quite a few Hogwarts Era stories that simple don't go along with the real story. It irritates me, to be honest. But you, on the other hand, wrote along with JK, and didn't do anything that was obviously contradicting towards HP.

I love it so far, it's truly coming along quite nicely, and I can't wait for you to write the rest! I may continue reading it as you update! It interests me; I love to read lost moments, such as this one, where you don't really know what exactly Hermione was up to the whole time. You had a vague idea, but it never truly went in-depth on it.

Quite impressive!


Author's Response: Oh thank you! This was (is) my first try at real "fluff" romance stuff and something other than Dramione, my OTP. I'm glad you think my charaterization of Cormac is spot-on, as he's not as well-known but is supposedly the typical "frat" type boy. And I was really worried about Hermione because in my novel, I have her a little differently written, just because of the plot line and her romantic interest.

I tried to keep in line with JK because otherwise it just wouldn't seem realistic and that's what I was going for with it.

Thanks for the review! xx

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Review #13, by academica Intensity

17th May 2013:
Okay, here for review #2 for the Review Battle!

I think something that would really improve this story, and this chapter in particular, is a deeper, more developed characterization of Hermione. Right now, I see a lot of things about her that are contradictory. That's not necessarily bad, since people are naturally complex, but I think you should add in more detail to explain her choices. For example, I had a hard time picturing Hermione from canon deriding Hufflepuff--though I could maybe see her making a comment about how Cormac's determination makes him fit for Slytherin, in a moment of panic. Her reaction to the kiss was confusing as well; it's a little cliche and unrealistic for someone to really hate someone else and then feel overwhelmed with passion when the other person kisses them. The Hermione I'm familiar with would be pursuing assault charges after everything Cormac did to her, and she definitely wouldn't be going to Slughorn's party with him. It's a good move to try to make the characters your own, but your story will stand out as stronger if you try to provide clearer motivation for their unorthodox actions.

That said, there were several things I noted that seemed like pure Hermione to me, which I loved. For one, I think it's totally plausible that she wouldn't tell Harry and Ron about Cormac because she didn't want to start trouble. I also liked how she gently woke Neville and sent him to bed; that was compassionate and rather motherly of her.

In a similar vein, Cormac's behavior there at the end was confusing. Why go so far with Hermione physically throughout the day and then suddenly back off? It seems like her protests didn't really bother him that much before, so I don't understand the sudden change of tune. It's fine to slow the pace down and really take some time to develop your characters and their interaction with one another. In fact, it helps to clarify their decisions.

I noticed the same thing I pointed out about the tenses happening again in this chapter. I just wanted to mention it as a reminder to you, if you want to change it.

As of now, it's hard for me to decide if I would like Hermione and Cormac to get together. I don't feel as if I know them well enough to make that decision. I definitely do think this story has potential and it would be interesting to return to it later and see how I feel about the pairing then.

Hope this review is helpful!


Author's Response: Thanks again! I would have to say this is not my best chapter by far. I just kind of wrote it at like 12 am without really thinking about what I was writing and never looked at it again. I'm probably going to go back and rewrite most of it this summer because of the contradictory characterization and tense problems. Normally, I'm very conscious of my tenses, but I didn't pay attention very well on this story. >.<
Thanks again for your lovely reviews! :) xx

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Review #14, by academica Before the Party

17th May 2013:
Hello! This is review one of two for the Review Battle!

This was cute. I thought it was funny how Hermione said her dress was pink and, as such, she figured Cormac wouldn't have trouble matching her. He must not be so macho after all! I like, too, how she tries to be independent and make her own decisions about her romantic life, though she clearly still carries a torch for Ron.

Two nitpicks--

I'm embarrassed to say that I can't quite figure out if this is meant to be a parody or not. If you were going for a parody, this line: Cormac is a very attractive bloke though, with his curly golden hair and chiseled features, and probably solid abs and body to go along with his pretty face because of all his Quidditch training... well, it's perfect. If not, I'd consider taking it out or providing more of an explanation as to how Quidditch would produce such a perfect physique. It's just a bit cliche is all.

The other thing is just that I noticed a slight tense change from the first part of the chapter to when Cormac showed up. Hermione was talking in present tense ("Ron is being..." "I hope...") and then she switched to past tense ("He exclaimed..." "I nodded..."). I would just choose one and go back and make the whole chapter be in that one tense, or maybe use some kind of flashback at the start.

I'm worried this review is going to come across as harsh. I certainly don't mean for it to do that--just trying to be constructive and provide some feedback. I'm going to go on to chapter two because I'm interested to see what the party will bring :)


Author's Response: First of all, thanks for the very detailed review! :) Regarding your first nitpick--yes, it's a parody of sorts, kind of portraying Hermione as a bit more shallow than she should be while still retaining her independence and courage.

Ah, tenses. I haven't looked at this since March, I think, so it needs editing. At this point I just wanted it up and out there to give me time to write more of Love Makes Me (awful, I know right?). I will go back and edit this during the summer so that should fix it. :) xx

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Review #15, by MAX542 Intensity

4th April 2013:
please tell me your going to have Hermione and Cormac get together

Author's Response: To be honest, I don't know whether or not I will yet! Most likely it'll end up with someone together though. :) Thanks for the review! xx

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Review #16, by jaiden Intensity

22nd March 2013:
make her end up with Ron!

Author's Response: I'll have to see what I feel like doing! It depends on how the party goes as well ;) Thanks for your opinion! xx

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Review #17, by dracomons3ter10 Intensity

19th March 2013:
it will be very interesting to see how Hermione can affect comac. keep it up. Good job

Author's Response: Thank you! I plan to have another chapter of LMM up before I post any more of this or TToDM, but I'm going to try to update TToDM before this since it's long overdue for an update. Thanks for the review and the favorites! :) xx

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Review #18, by adluvshp Before the Party

9th March 2013:
Hey there!

This plot is definitely quite original as I hardly ever come across stories written from Hermione's POV that portray her as a normal teenage girl, and not the brightest witch of her age (or the extreme - as someone utterly gorgeous etc.). I liked your characterisation of her and the thought process. I liked the way you briefly touched upon her anger with Ron and irritation with Cormac. Good work there.

I also liked the way you wrote Cormac's dialogues, they seemed very in-character which was good. I am not sure if he talks like "what do ya say" though, so maybe you should polish his lines a bit.

Another CC I have for you is that perhaps you shouldn't jump into your story action instantly. This is the first chapter so you should build up to the events. If you don't want the entire chapter to be introductory, you should at least have a first paragraph that establishes the setting and explains the situation, before coming to Hermione's rant.

Also, more description would have been a nice touch to the narrative, as this was a little too short. Moreover, Hermione is someone who analyses and thinks a lot, so more description would have made it a lot more believable. A balance between description and dialogue usually makes the story flow smoother as well, so maybe you should work on that.

But apart from that, this seems like a pretty acceptable start to the story. You ended this chapter at an interesting note too which is nice. Your plot seems to be headed in a good direction so do continue writing.


Author's Response: AditiDraco95-

First of all, thank you for the ridiculously long and detailed review, it makes me happy that someone chooses to take so much time to leave a review that long :)

With this story, this first chapter was just kind of a "write-and-post" where I had inspiration to write it, wrote it, and then just posted it without really editing it. I am going to go back and edit this chapter though once I have the second chapter (edited of course) posted and my other stories updated.

I think Cormac is one of those player sort of guys who will go after whoever strikes his fancy and once he's got them and done what he wants then he'll just leave them because he's found someone new. But even though I'm a hardcore Dramione shipper, I might end this with Hermione and Cormac together. :)

I usually have more description than I did in this chapter, but like I said earlier, I just wrote this without really thinking of plot lines and important details. I will add some more of Hermione analyzing things in the next chapter (I made sure to do some of that--i.e. more thought process and such).

The next chapter takes place at dinner this same night and then later on the same day. I'll try to make sure I keep your ideas and comments in mind! Thanks again for the lovely and thoughtful review! :) xx

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Review #19, by MissMdsty Before the Party

4th March 2013:
I have never read a story like this, written from Hermione's POV during the books. It's out of my comfort zone so to say but I liked this first chapter a lot.

It's like a breath of fresh air, seeing Hermione like a teenage girl with teenage problems and not just the brightest witch of her age. And indeed, that escalated quickly. Why don't boys get that a date doesn't mean we want a relationship and a date, especially a first date, is more an interview than an opportunity to kiss and cuddle?

I'm curious to see where you'll go with this story! This was very good (although rather short) start! Good job!

Author's Response: THAT'S WHAT I WAS THINKING TOO!! Hermione is a girl and she is going to have problems so why not write about them? :) I would agree with your "breath of fresh air" statement too because I have read a lot of fanfics that make her so mature and stuff and it just doesn't seem all that real. Thank you for the kind review, I should have a chapter posted sometime soon! xx

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Review #20, by NailahM Before the Party

2nd March 2013:
Excellent start. Can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm currently beta-ing a story and trying to write 3 stories simultaneously and keep up with homework and track practice so it may be a while until I update this again. Thanks for the review! :) xx

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Review #21, by shinichi Before the Party

23rd February 2013:
first i wanna say that the banner's totally osom! wow the briht red colour and then the funny pic of hermione..wow it's really really amazing!!! well hermione/cormac comes under 'other pairing' right? So where do you have to go and check out this storyy?

well the chpter was nice! i'll surely read further chapters.
dramione rockz,

Author's Response: Haha thank you I have to credit Marauders_MWPP at TDA for it :) The pairing comes under Hermione/OC, so you can check it out there or on my page. I'm writing the next chapter of it simultaneously with another of LMM so it'll be up eventually. :) xx

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Review #22, by dramoine is osom Before the Party

15th February 2013:
i want to say that i am liking ur story nd i would like to read the further chapters. I am very unhappy that people are not reviewing! Do write further please,,for the sake of your lovely reviewers!!! :)

Author's Response: Thank you! I think that just because this story isn't canon and the pairing isn't as popular is why it's not getting many reads/reviews. And I haven't added anything new yet either. LMM first! xx

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Review #23, by Elladora (Lilli) Before the Party

12th February 2013:
This is the first book I've read on this site and actually liked. I don't care if it's oly 1 chapter it's a lot better than some of the other books. So it's beautiful!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! You are actually my first reviewer for this story, so cookies for you! :) I'm currently on hold with this story as I want my main one "Love Makes Me" to get more posted and get up to 100 reviews! Go read that as well and thanks for the lovely review, I appreciate it so much!! :) xx

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