That was an amazing start to your story. I have to say that I really enjoyed it. I love how Lily has those friends that she's really close to. It's good that you established their friendships early in the story so we can get to know even more about their personalities that if you had introduced Ellie and Zoe later in the story.
I thought Lily was especially relatable because she get so nervous around people besides the ones that she knows the best. Usually stories show Lily as a very strong, amazingly confident character that isn't very relatable because not a lot of girls have that much confidence. It's unrealistic that she shouldn't have any flaws, so I'm glad that you gave her some. It's awesome.
I didn't notice that many spelling or grammar errors, so that's a plus. I thought that the dialogue and the way that Lily narrated the story was very entertaining. The banter between Ellie and Zoe was really funny, too. I'm looking forward to your next chapter and I hope you update soon. Thanks for writing!
~RintunesAuthor's Response: Aww thank you, thats such a sweet review. I have literally just finished my second chapter now, and should be putting it in the queue. I usually read stories about a flawless Lily Evans as well, and just wanted to write about someone who had a life they were comfortable with, which wasn't always in the spotlight, but then they get sort of thrust into it. I'm definitely having fun. I also kind of wanted to incorporate the Snape thing in fifth year as the reason she is like this, as we didn't really see much about her after her fifth year. But again thanks for the review, and I hope you like the later chapters.
~F Report Review
you have no idea how much i laffed reading your story
or chapter? It was pretty awesome i luv the whole vernon ... (THE ELEPHANT) THNG. HILAIOUS!! I thnk your title is smart and witty nd relly reels ppl in. awww im totally waiting for james and lily to hook up.. ( a fairytale grl at heart! :) But keep going i swear i cudnt stop reading!Author's Response: THANK YOU! I really like my chapter title to be honest, so I'm glad you do too :D Report Review
I liked this chapter better than the re-write because it had more detail, please continue this one!Author's Response: Okay, but you do know that chapter is in the rewrite. Thanks though, and I will be continuing it :D Report Review
You've got some punctuational and grammatical errors here and there throughout the story but overall I really liked this. I'm actually excited to see where this story goes and how Lily and James get together if you decide to keep writing it (which I hope you do). I just love James and Lily stories.
Anyway, I'd say it was a fairly interesting chapter (and there was something else I was going to say but I forget for now)Author's Response: Haha thankyou. I'll make sure I check thoroughly next time. I'm British and my word is American, so sometimes things might go wrong when I am trying to avoid American spellings so sorry bout that. But thank you for the review.:D Report Review
As of now, I really love this story. It has made me laugh several times and I like that you don't rush into it. I hope you keep writing it! =]Author's Response: aw thankyou, I will keep writing but it might be a little while before I next update :D Report Review
That was a cute story. There was a touch of
humor and teenage girl attitude that I loved. It
was nice to hear things from Lilly's
perspective. My only complaints are the minor
grammatical errors. People will view your
stories more seriously than they would now.Author's Response: thanks. It isn't finished and there will be more chapters and I will try and fix and errors :) Report Review
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