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7 Reviews Found

Review #1, by StarlightAsteria I

7th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

This is really good. Really rather tragic and sad, but good. I liked how you showed what made Salazar into what he was, including all the childhood bits. I cried when I read the Salazar/Rowena stuff :) I also like how you give Salazar his moment of redemption right at the end, though I would have liked Godric to come in at the end too.

You write really well too, great effort, especially for a first founder's :)

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Review #2, by SeverusLove I

23rd March 2014:
So...in the first few sentences, I was rightly amused because it hinted at a Salazar/Rowena tragic pairing and it reminded me of the tragic story of the Bloody Baron - Slytherin's House Ghost, and Ravenclaw's House Ghost - her own daughter.

At another point, Salazar reminded me a lot of the tragic story of Snape and the comfort he found in Lily like Salazar does Rowena here...

For a piece of fiction, it is indeed entertaining. I'm very touchy with the subject of betrayal, so I felt close to shedding a few tears at the end, feeling just as betrayed by Rowena and Godric and a touch of resentment. You set up a very sound basis for Salazar and Rowena's relationship and Salazar and Godric's friendship, I think it might have been nice to see how Rowena and Godric turned up like that to justify how they were supposed to be 'destiny', but, telling it from Salazar's perspective, I guess you couldn't do that much. Did you do that on purpose to make the readers feel just as betrayed, too?

It occurred to me also, in the first few paragraphs, that although having his mother burned at the stake by Muggles would give Salazar's character a basis for his contempt against them, it seemed a bit unlikely since Hogwarts History often said that the Salem Witch Trials were useless because the fires couldn't affect the wizards. Seeing as Salazar's mother was an adult, I would have thought she could have at least done wandless magic; neither do I quite understand how the scene where his fathers goes to help turned out hopeless as a wizard such as he could surely have easily taken care of such a situation - unless you were trying to imply he was conspiring with them for the murder of his own wife?

Also, the last scene...it doesn't quite feel like redemption without a final conversation between Salazar and Godric to at least bring about some closure. Did Godric simply run out of time? Because he did look like a coward not coming in, that or Rowena just wanted to hog all the last time to herself, lol.

Anyway, I haven't read many Founder fics before so this was definitely an interesting read.

I managed to spot some typos along the way, so in case you were planning to edit this in the future, I'mma hand them over to you:

"He covered his ears as the shouting from downstairs gre(y) louder," -- that was meant to be 'grew', perhaps?
"and tucking it behind her (w)ar." -- this one should be 'ear', understandable mistake as the w and e letters are beside each other on the keyboard.
"The way she shivered slightly in the cool night (ear)," -- and I'm guessing this was supposed to be 'air', but I could be wrong. *shrugs* Nobody's perfect. ;)

But anyway, thank you for this story and keep on writing, yeah?
Cheers!
~ Sevvy

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Review #3, by Niclovegood I

20th January 2014:
This is so well written, you make the story seem so vivid and real! It has a great atmosphere to it... almost like Game of Thrones or something but completely different at the same time :)

Btw sorry for a two year late review! :s very very sorry!!

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Review #4, by 800 words of heaven I

4th March 2013:
Heya! Review tag here!

I think after this story, I've read at least one chapter of almost every story you've written. I wanted to review this one instead of Missing because I hadn't read it yet, and it looked so lonely at the bottom of your author page!

So, as usual, I shall commend you on your wonderful characters. You don't get many Founders fics, although I can't understand why - they're so much out there that you can do! But I digress. I loved the way you wrote Helga - she was just so mothering and wonderful and such a lovely friend! Salazar was also amazing. You portrayed his pride, his arrogance, his hubris so well, and those flashbacks were very insightful. They showed a different side to him, which was really nice.

Another thing that really caught my attention was your description. It wasn't overwhelming, but there was enough to paint the scene beautifully. I think your descriptive language does you great credit!

I'm really sorry that I haven't given a review as long-winded and rambly as I usually do, but my internet is acting up, and I don't want to lose this review (it's happened before - I almost cried). But seriously, amazing story - you should write more stuff like this!

Author's Response: Hiya! Wow, it has been a long time since you left this review, and I apologize for that, I feel so terrible, especially because your reviews are always so thoughtful!

Ugh, I know how you feel about losing nice, long review - you just don't feel like re-writing them!

Anyway, I'm so glad you liked this - it was definitely a challenge to write, but I enjoyed it, nevertheless.

Courtney:)


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Review #5, by LadyOrobourus I

15th January 2013:
Hello,
This is such a sad story. You have succeeded on putting me into team Salazar. I love how you portrayed the founders. The love story side of it was oddly fascinating. I was able to see Salazar's love even through the callous ... man he was. Absolutely lovely, but now I need to go find a tissue. Keep up the excellent writing. ~ Lady

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review!

Yay! Team Salazar! As this was written for the villain redemption challenge, I take that as a very good thing indeed!

Courtney:)


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Review #6, by academica I

13th January 2013:
Hello! I'm stopping by for Slytherin Review Tag :)

I really love the imagery you have in this piece. I think it does a great job of setting the scene and pulling the reader in, which is helpful especially when you're writing a story set in a bygone era like this. For example, I liked the line where Salazar thought about his chills being like "slippery friends" sliding up his body.

I'm working on a Founders story now, too, and I know that getting the dialogue right was really tough for me (and continues to be!). Some of what you have here is really great, but some of it doesn't quite fit. For example, it seems like Helga would ask that Salazar not be "angry" rather than "mad." I also had a hard time picturing Salazar saying sarcastically that he's having the time of his life; I think a sarcastic retort would fit perfectly with his characterization here, but I think the one you chose sounds a little too modern for him. There are other examples later in the story, but I just picked these to show you what I'm talking about.

I don't think I've ever read anything about the Founders as kids, so that was really interesting! I liked how you set it up so that Salazar's village was like the home base, the way that he met the other Founders. I can see how he could have felt alienated and inadequate even among his new friends, with Rowena being so smart and Godric so brave and noble. I also liked getting his back story and the way you tied it to Godric's mother's death.

I also liked how you began to show Salazar's strength as the story went on. He went from feeling inadequate to being strong enough to kill people, to being full of rage. It's interesting how his hatred of Muggles was the focus of his anger; clearly he resents them for what happened to his mother, but it's almost like he killed them because he couldn't harm Rowena and Godric instead.

The ending was intriguing, too. I like how the story came full circle with Salazar remembering all these significant events in his life from his deathbed. It was nice that he got some sense of closure from Rowena, though I'm sad to see none from Godric. Clearly the rift between them was very, very deep.

This was a nice job for your first Founders story! I thought that the setting and description were the strongest points, and though the dialogue could use some work in certain places, I think the story as a whole is an interesting look into the Founders.

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hey there! Thanks for the review:)

What??? You liked my imagery!! Phew. I am constantly getting told I "need more imagery" so that means a lot.

Argh, the dialogue is a real struggle, so I might have to go back and have a little look at that. This is the first time I ever ventured into the world of founders, so thanks for pointing those out.

It was interesting trying to imagine what the Founders childhoods were like and how they met so I'm glad you liked that-and the ending, too!

Thanks for the great review-it was very helpful.
Courtney:)


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Review #7, by patronus_charm I

4th January 2013:
Woo first review I've always wanted to able to be the first ;D

I really, really enjoyed reading this story as I really do love the founders era however it's often really hard to find good stories about them as they're few and far between as people tend to dislike this era. I'm glad to say that this is one of the best I've read. I think the flashbacks worked really well and you didn't get confused between the different time periods which was good :)

I found who Rowena finally ended up with a little confusing but I still really enjoyed the story!

You should definitly write more in the founders era as you portray it really well!

Kiana x

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