Reading Reviews for That Night
  
10 Reviews Found

Review #1, by TidalDragon That Night

5th August 2014:
We meet again!

Well, Percy was as dour and taciturn as I might have expected, but his future wife certainly was quite different than I thought. I have seen many take the approach of her being a Muggle, but a Muggle stripper? Now that's something new.

Percy certainly was mean to her, but I thought his attitude was well done in the sense that you'd feathered reasons for it with clear early glimpses of his mentality from canon nicely. I thought it was a nice touch that you overlaid this simultaneous sense of arrogance and self-loathing in him. It certainly makes sense that such a combination would give rise to the type of bitter individual we saw here.

The biggest thing to work on for me would not be the length. I'm sure you've learned by now that I don't mind a long story if it's well written. Instead look at Audrey and Percy's interactions. Though it's primarily limited to their insults, a lot of the writing of their exchanges was repetitious. While they naturally aren't going to strike up some wondrous dynamic here, I think there are ways you could vary the language and attacks to make it feel a bit less redundant at points.

All in all though, another nice piece in this clever little universe of fics you've written. It's clear you have a very detailed vision of the Post-Hogwarts cast of characters and I enjoy seeing it put into action.

Author's Response: Hello!

Hey, Tidal glad to see you again and I'm sorry that I'm just NOW answering your review. Real life is such a pain! What's up with that?

Anyway, on to this!

Bwhaha, I think a lot of people have commented on the fact that Percy gets involved with a stripper but at the time I thought, "Why not?" and went for it. The story that this comes from (This is Audrey Tang: The Bad Taste) actually was a request from one of my fans so if it came off as kind of out there, that's why. Hahahaha.

And let me be honest with you, I have too much fun writing about strippers. *Ahem*

Glad that you liked Percy's conflicted attitude, I certainly had trouble writing that at the time. I wasn't sure if I could balance him very well and I think that a lot of people were sort of miffed that I had him being so mean to Audrey. You're the only person who hasn't been stern with me on that point so here, have a puppy. :D

I kind of figured that you wouldn't mind the length of this but I put that in my warnings whenever I'm requesting a review because I think that its sort of a strain to read such a long chapter all at once. Hahaha. Most of their dialogue comes from the first chapter of This is Audrey Tang so that's my own fault, when I wrote that originally I didn't really have much in store for them, conversation wise. It sort of felt like I was writing the same scene over and over again for a minute there...

Anyhoo, thanks so much for liking this story and leaving an awesome review. I always like to know your thoughts too since you're always so honest with me even if it makes me want to cry sometimes. Hahaha. I hope to see you soon!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #2, by Elphaba and Boyfriends That Night

14th July 2013:
Hi, Elphaba here with your requested review! While this IS a very long one-shot, it was also very enjoyable to read. :)

I really like the combination of Lee and George's dialog and Percy's inner monolog at the beginning. It's well-written, funny and very relatable (it sucks to be stuck on the sidelines looking on the others' happiness like Percy is). I did find one awkward sentence in this section that I thought might be worth editing: "Percy had no idea how his mind worked but the three of them were silent for say, five minutes (Though he hadn't said anything)..." The phrase in parentheses confused me, and I think the sentence would work better without it.

Even though I don't know all of Percy's history - where or what he's come back from - I do get a clear sense that he is damaged and that George is trying to help him recover. While I enjoyed the story without knowing everything about his past, I would like to get a few more details, not a summary, but just enough to fill in that gap. I really like that you fill in some gaps with George and Percy's conversation. While grammar overall is pretty clean, I found one weird verb in this section "slunked" which should just be "slunk."

I think you did a really good job with the description of both the show that Audrey puts on, and Percy's humorous reactions. You make this section sensual rather than cheesy or tacky. The way Audrey stares at him before coming out on stage helps to build interest in her as character, and not just as an object of lust: it made me wonder who she is and why she singles Percy out.

Going back to the subject of filling gaps in the character's histories, I like how you manage to fit in the detail about George and Angelina's duel so that Lee's accusation during their argument makes sense. I also like the way that Percy comforts George after Lee leaves, and the flash of the old, jokester George that flashes through when he says, "you're my one and only."

At the beginning to the section where George forces Percy to talk to Audrey, l was a bit confused when George said, "She's not even wearing a thong anymore." I wasn't sure whether this meant she was totally naked, or now wearing actual clothes. The clothes weren't mentioned until a few paragraphs later, so I was left wondering for a while. :)

While I find it very believable that Percy would try to say something very rude to chase Audrey off, I'm not entirely convinced that he would think to insult her breast size the way that he does. I think it would be more in-character for him to try to say something insulting, and either fail outright or stumble over the words as he tries to get them out. I also think he wouldn't be surprised that he hurt her feelings with the comment. I think he might actually apologize to her when he asks her if there's anywhere nearby where he can eat. I also feel like he would apologize to her later, after patting her chest and backside.

During their walk to the diner, I wondered about Audrey's comment, "It's like high school but with more stuff." Does she know that he's a wizard? Otherwise, why would she feel the need to explain what college is? If she doesn't suspect this about him, then I might just take that sentence out. I think he might have learned what college is from muggle studies, or from Hermione.

I like the periodic references to Hermione, especially that she once explained bacteria to Percy. That's something I can definitely imagine her doing, and I can also definitely imagine Percy taking it to heart. :)

I like the description of their late night meal; I could picture the diner they visit and it made me hungry for a greasy cheeseburger. I also like the final sentence a lot. While the ending isn't happy, it seems fitting. It shows just how messed-up Percy is. Even though this is a one-shot, I would be interested to read more about Audrey and Percy. I would like to check out your other story about Audrey when I get a chance. :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Firstly, please forgive me for not getting back to this monstrous review sooner. Real life has been really annoying and I haven't had alot of time for anything and you know, that just sucks! D':
But anyway, I think this is my favorite one-shot out of all the ones that I have, people tend to really like it and that makes me happy. I was sort of worried about how I'd portrayed Percy but the beginning of this juts hints at how damaged he is and how time has moved on.
Lee and George's conversation was hilarious to write and also took me into thinking like a man, which was really hard! I tried to give a sense that Percy and Georgie were alot closer and that they were sort of trying to heal one another. I haven't really touched on Percy's past in the story where this one-shot comes from, (This is Audrey Tang: The Bad Taste) because I haven't gotten very far yet. But the hints that he's damaged and is seeking something really comes through in that scene with Audrey. God help me, you should have seen me blushing when I was typing that out! Hahah. I'm glad that it came out all right! D':
Ah, George Weasley...he's my everything and making him sad just hurts my heart. Hahhaa.
The comment about Audrey not wearing a thong anymore talks about when she was on stage. Even my little terror wouldn't casually sit at a bar in her underwear...I hope.
Okay, the thing with Percy being rude has been ripped apart more than once and I might go in and change it sooner or later. I think that I've tweaked him enough so that he doesn't feel like the old Percy anymore but at the same time, I might need to add that he is still, you know, sort of Percy. Hahah. If that makes sense?
For some reason, I think Percy and Hermione would get along failry well and he likes to learn things about Muggles so they probably have a lot of nerdy conversations.
Ooh, thanks for liking the description of the late night meal! That's actually my favorite scene aside from when Percy meets Audrey on stage, hehehe. The final sentence is very sad but it fit with the rest of the story and if you ever want to read more about Audrey, just hop on over to "This is Audrey Tang: The Bad Taste" but if you want to know more about Angie and George's duel, just take a peek at "This is Angelina,".
Shameless self-promotion? I think so! Hahah.
Thanks so much for reading this massive thing, it really means alot!
Much love,
Gabbie


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Review #3, by MadiMalfoy That Night

28th June 2013:
Hey there, here with your review as requested! :)

Phew, was that a long one!! Definitely different than my usual, but then again my usual reading genre is Dramione, and even then I'm rather picky. :P However, this is more of an obscure character/pairing so I was all "yay!" because they interest me a lot!! Anyway, getting on to the actual review now.

Right off the bat, I knew this was going to be very different from the usual Percy/Audrey fics out there because of the opening scene with Lee, George, and Percy in the Leaky Cauldron. Your characterization is obviously slightly off from canon, but that's to be expected and it fits the story well! George being hopelessly in love with Angelina just makes me feel so warm and fuzzy inside! :) And I can totally see Lee being in a relationship with Alicia too!

Now, with Percy, he's obviously going to be a bit different than the usual canon-oriented story, but that's quite all right. :) The way you hinted at his recent past after the Battle of Hogwarts and Fred's death but didn't fully reveal anything makes for a more complicated characterization than I expected. And kudos to you for using the scene from the book of Fred's death--not many people that didn't read the books know how he actually died. The fact that he's so messed up he lives a life of despair and unfeeling really pulls on the heartstrings.

Making Audrey a muggle is definitely different as well, and a stripper no less! The way they toyed with each other after she finished dancing and were talking at the bar and then the burger joint was funny and very well-written. It was a little more mature than I thought it was going to be, but no worries, you didn't freak me out or anything! :)

Overall, a great piece and feel free to re-request for any of your other stories as well! :) xx
~MadiMalfoy

Author's Response: HellO!

Thanks for stopping by with the review for this, I am so sorry that it was so long though, everyone keeps telling me I should shorten it to two separate chapters. I might do that at some point to spare you all...
I chose Percy/Audrey for you because I thought you'd like it a bit more than just a typical canon so I'm glad that you liked it! ;)
I haven't read much of this pairing myself but i thought that with how I had Percy that it wouldn't make sense if he were paired with an Audrey that couldn't handle him. I think that with having him with Lee and George in the beginning just showed off how much different he was from the two of them. And honestly, its just hilarious picturing them in a pub together.
George/Angelina are my FAVORITE ship ever, let me tell you. They're very much in love and super awesome!
No one has said much about Lee and Alicia though but thanks for liking them too! :D
I think that I hinted at Percy's past on purpose because in the story where this chapter comes from, he doesn't reveal much about himself. I haven't worked up to revealing all of that but I will eventually! Alot of people ignore that little fact that Percy was with Fred when he died, its a traumatic experience that's sort of glossed over. :p
I've read the books though! I've read the entire series four times now (Cause I have no life) and I changed jsut a few things from canon because I had to for this story. Hahaha.
My Percy is a tormented man but he's rather fun to write! Audrey herself is the sort of person that's tormented to some degree so making her a stripper was just that added bonus.
And plus its alot of fun seeing how Percy deals with her! The actual story is from Audrey's POV so if you got to read that, I think you'd enjoy it more.
Most of my stories are pretty, erm, mature and not for the faint of heart. ;)
Thanks for reading all of this, I know it probably took you forever! Hahahahahaa.
I shall re-request!
Much love,
Gabbie


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Review #4, by adluvshp That Night

25th February 2013:
Hello! Here for your requested review.

Oh dear God. This was so long, haha! But, totally worth the read. I really really enjoyed this.

I loved your take on Percy and Audrey, and I think you gave an interesting spin to their relationship. It was long yes, but you couldn't have done such a fabulous job of presenting your plot without this huge length. My suggestion would be to break it in a two-chapter story though, as I know from experience, that many readers turn away from one-shots by looking at the long lengths. If you break this into two chapters, it would make for an easier read, and will definitely attract more readers. Just my suggestion though, feel free to take it or leave it =)

Coming back to the story, I loved how you portrayed your characters. George was fantastic and I liked the bromance between him and Percy. It was unexpectedly realistic and came off as quite natural. Percy was great too of course, I loved your depiction of him. His reaction to Audrey's kiss was priceless, and pretty much how I'd imagine him to react.

You asked how I liked the change you made with Percy, so I have to admit that I absolutely loved it. He was quite canon-ish in a way and yet you gave him your own spin, and it all tied together nicely.

And Audrey was just wow! I loved the way you presented her in such an unconventional (or I should say non-cliche) manner. I loved loved loved your portrayal of her, and that kiss, was just amazing! The conversation between Percy and Audrey was very nicely done too, so totally realistic and interesting.

The ending was so sad though, it blew me off. I feel so sad for Percy now. I have never reflected much on him as a character, but you've really brought him into the spotlight for me, and now I really like him as a character. And as I mentioned before, I absolutely love your Audrey!

I think this was a lovely story all in all - you maintained a perfect balance between angst and humour - and I enjoyed it a lot. I was totally hooked on while reading and you have done a superb job with it. I didn't see any major grammar errors and such either, which is awesome. The whole thing, despite being long, flowed really smoothly too.

All in all, good work! Apart from the one minor suggestion of breaking this into two, I dont have any CC for you as you have done a perfect job with this amazing piece of writing. An original plot, realistic characters, and fantastic writing style - that's all that is needed for a great story and you snagged it all =)

9/10
Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Hello!

Hey there, thanks for stopping by with this lovely, monstrous review. So many people have told me that I should break this into two chapters that I think I might just go ahead and do it. I hate to think of people being for two hours like poor Teh Tarik was reading this when she left me a review. D':
Bwha, I think the bromance between George and Percy is great and I really do love writing them together. For some reason, I think they would have gotten closer after Fred's death and I'm glad that that was realistic for you.
I was so nervous about how I changed Percy, I wasn't sure if I had done a good job in pushing him away from canon but still having him with things you guys could recognize.
Everything that I tried to do with Audrey was unconventional to the point of extreme. I didn't want her to be someone that Percy just meshed into well, it would be too easy and honestly, who doesn't want to write about a stripper? Hehehe. I'm a girl, but I like the idea of that and writing Percy's reactions to her and its all so much fun! :D
Thank you so much, I'm SO glad that you were able to enjoy this, I really tried my hardest with this and always think I never do enough. I love angst/humor as well so I think this sort of just put my favorite things together into one big mess of a fanfic. And thank goodness it turned out all right! :D
I will think about going in and breaking this into two chapters and probably continuing on with this! Alot of people liked it, I've never had such a positive reaction to my one-shots before! D':
So thankful!!!
You're much too sweet to me!
Much love,
Gabbie


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Review #5, by soapman333 That Night

23rd February 2013:
Woah! I got into this within the first paragraph. The interactions between the guys were really believable!

My favorite line was: "talk to Alicia. She'll appreciate that better than you, say, crying in a corner alone." - story of my life, right there.

Oh man, George and Percy's relationship. BROMANCE! I would kill for a brother like Percy or George.

Anyways, this is an interesting take on Percy. My least favorite Weasley has now become my second favorite (after ronnie-poo, of course)

Thanks for a wonderful read,
10/10
soapman333

Author's Response: Hello!

Whoa, that was quick, I just finished leaving you a review too! Weird mind meld or secret contest?! :D
Anyhoo, welcome and since this is your first time talking to me on the archives, nice to meet you! Call me Gabbie! :D
Bwhaha, that first paragraph is pretty much what got me into writing it in the first place, it was a plunnie that just haunted my dreams and my ability to watch TV.
I have a hard time writing men so that makes me very happy! I tried so hard...I'm glad that this worked out okay, I tried to balance the boys as well as I could. :D
Phew. Thank God.
Bwhahaha! Talk to your girl, don't sit in the corner waiting on her forever! Hahahha. Its actually pretty good advice from George I think. Hahaha.
YES! Bromance all the way! I love that people enjoy that so much, I really do like writing Percy and George so close, and personally, I would die to have either of them as my brother too.
Even though I already have a brother...
Anyway, thanks! I tried to make Percy a little different and alot of people actually liked him! That makes me so happy...so relieved. I can die happy. :D
I am currently in LOVE with Percy so, I'm glad that showed. :D
Thanks so much! *Bows*
Much love,
Gabbie


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Review #6, by GingeredTea That Night

9th February 2013:
Alright, so I read this monster of a chapter over my lunch break and naptime at work (teacher) and then I didn't have time to review. That said, it has sat in my head for a couple days and I think for that I can give you a better opinion on how it came across in terms of believability.

I want to preface by clarifying that when I say "sat in my head" I mean it has been in my head dancing around and popping up in my thoughts all the time. Maybe a bit of George has rubbed off in the energy of the story...if stories have energy...because it sounded an awfully lot like his annoying self sometimes when I couldn't stop thinking about it! ;)

Anyways, I loved it. I found your Percy somehow believable even thought I could hardly believe it was what had become of the Percy we knew - if that makes sense. I guess what I mean is that I could imagine this being how Percy reacted to the books circumstances, even though I found myself hating that Percy had become this shell of himself.

There was SO much information that I'm not sure I could absorb the entirety of the back story. The one CC I have would actually be to split this up into at least two chapters...but probably more! The flow was perfect, the information correctly given it's just that there was so much of it at once and my brain sorta had a hard time categorizing it and imagining a timeline, if that makes sense.

Still, it is so well done that I had to plow ahead and want MORE!

I loved the way you dealt with his emotions, his reactions and his sarcastic responses to George and Lee. I'm not much for sexual scenes and I have to admit I was a bit hesitant to read the story because I thought I probably couldn't read it without being squeamish (I know, I'm such a baby ;) ) but you handled it all really maturely and eloquently (as eloquently as you can handle a strip joint). I really like your Audrey character and I could totally imagine Percy falling for her - although I equally would not have said Percy with a stripper was possible before reading this story! ;)

So, when can I read the next chapter...and please tell me it will be a bit more bite sized, hmm? You can't really be leaving us at this!

;)

GingeredTea

Author's Response: HellO!

Hey, there, thanks for coming to this monstrously long one-shot. I have no idea why this turned out to be as long as it did but you'll have to forgive me. Hehehe.
George was in your head? Subliminal messages, perhaps?! Hahaha. I'm surprised that this stayed in your head, I've gotten really good feedback from this one-shot and it still surprises me. I didn't think I wrote it all that well because it gave me a hard time to get my flow going but this is so nice!
All you have to do to get George out of your head, by the way is tell him that Angelina is at home without any clothes. He'd rush home then and leave you alone. Hahahaha.
This for some reason, is just what I would have liked to have seen from Percy after the War. I don't believe he would have stayed the same, after all, he was there when Fred died and that sort of trauma doesn't go away.
Also, I'd hinted at this in my other story, This is Angelina, but Percy had changed quite a bit in there too, so this is just a continuation of that.
Things get better for Percy eventually. I just want to make him suffer a bit first! Cause I'm evil and I enjoy making people upset when I write angst. HAHAH. >:D
I'd thought of breaking this up into two chapters, to be honest but didn't think I'd have the time right now. I might though, since its so chunky. Hahahha. Also, it would help spread the information more easily for you all too! I don't want anyone's brain hurting after trying to absorb all of this. T-T
Percy is hard to write! I swear, he and George just give me a headache. I can't stand them sometimes! I think his reactions to Lee, honestly, come from dislike but for George he's more fondly annoyed. Its fun to write though! :D
I'm a girl and I find writing sexual-esque type scenes are seriously tough. I blush and giggle alot and then I have to stop and get myself into the zone, which sometimes turns out being TOO graphic. I had to cut down on alot of stuff when I wrote this and if you can believe it, the sexual innuendos were worse.
I've never been to a strip joint, so I was taking this from watching movies and my imagination. I'm glad that it worked out though. Thank goodness.
Bwha, everyone says that about Audrey! Making her as wild as she is and then making her be a stripper was just an added bonus. Hahhhaa. Percy likes the naughty/bad girl and he just doesn't want to admit it. HAHAH.
I might make another chapter for this, to be honest. It'll go along with "This is Audrey Tang: The Bad Taste" and might just go through his POV of the second time he meets her. Bear with me...it might take a while.
Thanks for the lovely review!
Much love,
Gabbie


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Review #7, by CassiePotter That Night

3rd February 2013:
Hi Gabbie!
I really loved getting to read Percy's side of the story on the night where he and Audrey first met! He has so much going on in his life, and there are so many conflicting emotions that he's dealing with, that it makes him really I treating to read! I loved how much subtlety there was to his backstory, and I really want to find out more about what happened with him after Fred died.
The emotions with that are so powerful in this story! You can tell how much Percy really did love his brother, which is important, I think, because Percy can come off as cold, and because he's not all that close with his siblings. I also loved Percy and George together! I can see them being friends, especially after the war, and loved how you wrote them together!
The part where George held up his hands to show how much they were shaking absolutely broke my heart. It's such a small gesture but it was so powerful and poignant and really hit me! You did a fantastic job with having the emotions come through, and I just want to go make sure that George and Angie are ok!
And then we have Audrey! She is so much fun to read because she's so good at getting under Percy's skin! She knows just what to say to get him annoyed, but he can also hold his own in their conversations! I really love them as a pair and think you write them wonderfully!
The characters in this story and in This Is Audrey Tang are just so rich and complex and have so much going on that we don't know about. It's really intriguing to read, and I can't wait to find out more about them! See you on the forums! 10/10
Cassie :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Hey there Cassie, you're the best. So, you've finally attacked this monster known as "That Night" and I'm so sorry that its so monstrous! There's alot going on with Percy and I'm glad that you were able to find him interesting and that you want to know more about how he acted after Fred's death. He actually, finally goes into more detail about it to Audrey in her story sometime down the line. Things are going really well with them on that end, hahaha.
You know, I'd wanted to make that more apparent. Its sad that it doesn't get talked about mroe often but Percy I think did love Fred, they just didn't understand one another.
Bwhaha, Percy and George! I love them together, they're almost like another married couple. HAHAHA.
Aw, I'm sorry for making you worry about George but you know why his hands shake and tremble like that. Its a problem that I didn't think should have been ignored and I'm SO glad that I did the emotion right. Oh, the feels.
George and Angie are probably talking and snuggling with baby Freddie right now. :) They're all right. Hahaha.
HAHA, Audrey! She's hilarious, and I love her to death. I think she really likes to nitpick at Percy because he's just so stuffy and their conversations are always so funny.
:D Just for you, This is Audrey Tang is back up! Go ahead and read that! :) See you on the forums of course.
Much love,
Gabbie :3


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Review #8, by patronus_charm That Night

30th January 2013:
Hey Gabbie, I'm here with your review, and as this a rolling review, and an incredibly long chapter, so if I repeat myself, or answer my own questions!

I immediately liked Percy's rather sarcastic narrative, as it was funny to read, and it seemed really realistic, as Percy did always seem rather dismissive of everything, so I thought that you caught his snobbish attitude very well!

It was nice to see that Percy was being sociable, and that he was hanging out with George, and Lee, as those two are the people who you least expect him to be with. And the mention of Fred, and how George reminded him so much of his twin, was lovely and touching!

I love how all your stories interlink with one another, meaning if you prefer one character you can read a certain story about them, or if you're in the mood for a bit of Roxanne you know where to look!

A muggle strip club. I can see where Audrey comes into the story now, and I can't wait to read on, and see how this develops as it will be interesting , no doubt!

I don't know what it is with you and your sporadic capital letters, but I saw them popping up again in here, so just a quick proof read will get rid of them :)

The bit where you mentioned Percy having fun by looking over papers Hermione made me laugh, as it was just what I imagined those two would love to do in there spare time. And Percy has a SIX PACK? Oh my merlin is all I can say! Never expected that!

It was nice to see that Fred's death, though awful, brought George and Percy closer together, as Percy was often the outsider in the Weasley family, so it was nice to see that something good can come from it. And the way you portrayed his decaying state showed how he will probably transform when he meets Audrey, which was a good idea!

I've also noticed a few spots, where comma's have been missing, and some words have missed a space between them:)

Ha Percy's initial reaction to the strip club was hilarious, when he started talking about gyrating women, and the thought of clean cut him in there must have been a funny sight. I wonder though if he wasn't so decrepid would have married a stripper, in the end or not?

The brief mention of the lottery was great, as it must have seemed like a strange invention to muggles now you think about it.

I also liked that brief mention about Penelope Clearwater, as I could sense some bitterness on Percy's behalf, on how that relationship ended, so it would be interesting to see how that ended, and to see whether that shaped his future character or not.

I loved how you made Percy loved kids, and the way he showed affection towards Victoire and Freddy, as that was really sweet. Though I am intriguied to know why he referred to Teddy as an oddity, as that seemed rather harsh to call a toddler that?

It's kind of funny and weird the way George and Lee reacted over Audrey, as that's their friends/brothers future wife. Ha it must be awkward at family dinners, if they reminise over how they met. I liked that you made her go to Percy, as I can't imagine him getting that much female attention so it was nice to see that he got some.

I liked George's reaction, to when Percy said he would never marry anyone, as it is true, it is sort of a miracle that Ron got Hermione, as you never thought they would get together, and then bam it happens, and everyone was incredibly shocked (well I was anyway ;D)

I wonder if Percy's just a naturally prude person, or whether there is another reason behind his embarrasment around Audrey, as it does seem rather extreme, all of his blushing, speechlessness, and inability to look at her when wearing minimal amounts of clothers!

I did feel that when Percy did regain his confidence, he did appear a little too mean, as I thought that though he was a snob, he was a nice one, so it went a little far in my opinion. But I guess that this is fan fiction fo anything goes!

In response to 'dirty' Percy, I thought it was amusing to read, as you never expected that to happen, and it really contrasts with his normal character, so it was funny to read.

And yes I do think it makes you want to read on, as this isn't a 'typical' Audrey, as you said that name usually has boring and plain connotations, so it was funny to put a spin on it, and I liked the originality of it!

Overall I thought this was a great one-shot, which provided a lot of laughs, the few CC's I've already listed, but they can be easily sorted through a quick read over, so nothing to worry about really, and thanks for requesting, as this was funny, Kiana:D

Author's Response: Hey there!

Good God, what am I supposed to do with this monster?! I saw it and went, "Merlin, this is going to take me an age or two to get everything down." Hahha. Forgive me if I don't cover everything you mentioned in this! D':
I thought it would be pretty funny and tough for Percy to sit with both Lee and George at a pub. He doesn't really like Lee and George is well, he's George and he's incredibly annoying! Hahaha.
But yes, he's still struggling alot when it comes to Fred's death but he and George are alot closer than they were because of it. I think it saddens them both and really comes across well.
The image of Percy going into a strip club will just haunt me forever. I giggle so much when I imagine the look on his face! His meeting with Audrey was not at all normal and I really do like that you enjoyed it. :D
You know, Percy might have married a very naughty girl despite himself. There's something about him that's just itching to enjoy life but he's too guarded to allow himself to!
I think it would make sense for Percy to like kids since he had to deal with the twins, Ron and Ginny as babies when they were growing up. He's the sort to enjoy alot of noise even though he might pretend otherwise and oh, that little thing about Teddy wasn't meant to be mean. But then again, if you ever read "This is Angelina" there's a mention of him being sort of hard to handle. He makes Victoire and Fred and the rest eat worms. Hahahha.
Oh, Merlin, I haven't even gotten to the part with George and Lee reacting over Audrey! Its going to be so funny buy anyway, Percy needed some attention didn't he? Hahah. And he sure got some. :D
I think Percy's sort of a prudish fiend. There are things that he won't talk about but he knows far more about things than he should and I guess that's what embarrasses him the most. Hahaha.
George is mean isn't he about that thing with Ron and Hermione?! Hahahha. But he just wants his brother to be happy and I think seeing Percy so down really gets to him.
I got comments that Percy's mean attitude did go a bit far but then again, he was nervous and anxious and its completely my fault. HAHAHAHA.
Dirty Percy is fun! I adore him! Glad that you liked him too, isn't he funny?! Hahahhaaha.
And Audrey is such a little firecracker isn't she? I'm glad that it makes you want to read on about her, I was really worried about that.
Thanks so much for this monstrously long review and I'll look over those CC's you gave me too! Always a pleasure.
Much love,
Gabbie


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Review #9, by teh tarik That Night

30th January 2013:
GABBIE :D Here to check out your new story! Confession: when I first saw you post the link on the forums a few days ago I headed down to your author page to read...and then I saw the word count and ran away screaming :P But look I came back, right? OK, anyway, because your story is so long, I think it will be best for me to give a running review. even though I've never tried this before. So bear with me please :D

Right, so far your characters are so perfect and spot on with canon :D Percy is such a jaded, resigned person - more reserved than the other two here. I also like how observant he is, and how he notices details and things about people. And as for Lee and George, well, I love those two to bits and I think you've pretty much written them perfectly. Go to a strip club indeed! Sounds like what the both of them would totally do...even behind their girlfriends' back. *cough my ex used to do that cough*

Sigh. You're really making me feel for poor old Percy here. I've never been interested in him as a character before...sometimes I don't understand overambitious people and all. But here it feels like his life is pretty much a dead end - Fred is dead, all his dreams gone up in smoke, not having too many close friends...at least he has these two! Though I can imagine that they get pretty annoying! And I also really like the fact that these three are sitting in a bar and drinking together, by the way. It's such a lovely scene, though of course Perce wouldn't feel that way.

"I'm not at all comfortable with the thought of..."

"So you want to come? Brilliant!"


BAHAHAHA THESE LINES ARE SO BRILLIAN :D So Percy-like and so George-like! Gah, Gabbie, your dialogue is so amazing and witty! And you have some hilarious one-liners as well.

I think it's really interesting that George is the one who is taking care of Percy. I quite like this idea, actually...I think that could possibly happen. Seeing as Percy can be quite fragile sometimes...and...fun for Percy means going over new parchment?!?

PERCY IS IN THE STRIP CLUB NOW. OKAY. And...aww...George is only turned on by Angelina and not naked female strippers? That being said, I hope Angelina finds out about his little excursion with Lee and Perce. That would be so much fun!

OK, this is pretty late along the review...but OMG OMG GABBIE AUDREY IS CHINESE? AND A STRIPPER? I LOVE YOU SO MUCH GABBIE LIKE I REALLY REALLY DO.

Goodness, Lee is so funny :D And his lines are awesome. He's even funnier than George bahah XD

AAAHHH THAT KISS. IS SO EROTIXXXZXXX. OMYMERLIN. (Sorry, this is a really silly review...). Percy just had the best moment and he's like "Oh misery." LIGHTEN UP PERCE XDDD

Ohmygod tension. You've just totally taken me out of the electrifying atmosphere of the strip club and suddenly I'm back into the reality of their lives, all that drama and hard stuff of relationship problems...this is relly nicely done, Gabbie. It's such a great contrast. The way Lee left is so sad. Such a swift change in mood. I do hope he'll be alright :( And GEORGE. THE FEELS. OH THE FEELS.

"I'm not going to steal your virginity, Mr. Percy Weasley! Take a loadoff and relax!" You hear that sound? That's me choking on my tea. OMG.

...OK I finally finished reading.

I was just completely riveted by the long conversation between Percy and Audrey; it was just so...brilliant, so perfect, so completely realistic. I'm quite at a loss for words. It was funny and angsty and and and my god I love these two already and I want to whack Percy over the head for being such an arse. And Audrey, my goodness, she's this snappy, ferocious girl and you've really shown that for all her troubles and worldly experiences she is still a girl. She's young but thankfully not too cynical yet. Throughout the entire conversation there's a kind of "irritable attraction" (for lack of better words) between the two, like how they are maybe sort of enjoying each other's company but also getting on each other's nerves. It's...I'm just completely blown away. Your Audrey is the best Audrey EVER. From now on I can only see Audrey as the way you portray her. Also, Chinese and a stripper :DDD I love that moment at the end when she tries to follow Percy, and Perce is SUCH A GIT you know that. She has some lovely moments of vulnerability here and there. As does Percy.

And the ENDING. Just. Killed me. That is a pretty depressing ending :( I was hoping that perhaps Percy might find some sort of relief from his daily life...but no, he chooses to go back to it instead of doing the right thing and...um...following his libido XD The way you worded that last sentence was so so perfect, so sensitive and so effective.

Before everything went black and he returned to his lonely life, he heard her footsteps, intent on following him and he dreaded and wished that she could.

Oh this is so utterly heartbreaking. Gah.

Well, by now you can probably tell that I've really enjoyed your story. It's such a lovely blend of humour and angst (my favourite kinds of stories) and I'm so glad that I actually decided to sit down and read through it. Took me two hours bahahha XD Am such a slow reader. I'm probably going to have to check out your longer WIP soon!

So anyway, amazing work, really. And. I'm sorry for the silly parts of this review :) It hasn't been the most helpful I know...until later!

-teh

Author's Response: HellO!

Goodness, another monster for this one-shot. Absolutely delighted to see you back of course, its always so nice! And I burst out laughing reading this review, it was hilarious and I don't blame you for not attacking this immediately. And Merlin, did it take forever for me to do this! D':
Ooh, thanks so much for liking these characters. I hadn't thought I got Percy right, he's a really hard character to write and putting him in a scene with Lee and George was just too tempting.
I think in this story, I wanted to show that there's some hope for Percy towards the end when he meets Audrey. But until then, his life is just falling apart and there's really nothing he can do about it because he's grown used to it.
I think banter is my strongest thing and its sooo fun to write! George is the one to understand Percy a bit more than say their other siblings, which would make more sense for him taking care of him. They're very close since Fred's death. :D
Hahha, yeah, George only likes to think about Angelina naked. He loves her very much but poor Percy, he was just so awkward! HAHAHA. It was too much fun to write! >:D
Yep, Audrey is a stripper and she's Chinese. I thought about doing something different and I'm so glad that you love it! Phew! *Blushes at the confessions of love*
That kiss was like, "Mmm!" right? But Percy was freaking out because he didn't know what to do with himself! Hahahahah. He was completely unprepared for his reaction! ;)
Argh, I wasn't sure if that scene with the boys actually fighting would go over well but thanks so much. Lee will be all right.
And George yes! The FEELS! The FELS! He's SO hard to write for but you love him anyway!
*Giggles as you choke on your tea*
That little line always makes me laugh, Audrey is just too much. ;)
Oh, my goodness, I don't know how to respond to this without blushing and turning into a puddle of goo. I didn't think that I wrote this so very well with Percy and Audrey's interactions with one another but thank goodness you liked it.
Audrey is this really strong, firecracker sort of girl that I had to make. She's had a hard life but she's got some optimism and hope and that's what I think Percy admires about her in this one-shot. I think "irritable attraction" sums up Audrey and Percy very, very well. They can't help but want one another but on the other end, they sort of don't like each other. HAHAHA.
*Blushes* Thanks so much for liking Audrey! I actually can't picture her any other way either, I just adore her character so much! :D
Anyway, Audrey is very vulnerable when she wants to be but she tries not to show it, it makes her very sweet. :D
^For Percy too, I think. He's like fragile glass.
Ooh, I'm SO sorry for the depressing ending! I had actually intended on going further along with this and adding on another scene but decided that I wouldn't.
Merlin, the response on this is so good that I might just make this a short story to go along with "This is Audrey Tang"! Hm, the plunnies are happening now.
Percy's too noble to follow his libido! And he's scared of it and himself and his reaction to Audrey, which would explain why he would want to run back to something familiar. Right?
If I'd been him, I would have just gave in but I've got a weak spirit. HAHHA.
Oh, that last line. I sort of almost cried! D':
Thank you SO much for the review, I can't stop freaking out over it.
Check out the actual story if you dare, its sort of different and Audrey's character is slightly altered (I had to get the right feel for her and had my moments of mistakes and changes) but hopefully, you'll like it too. :D
Hahaha, I LOVE silly reviews! I leave them all the time cause they're hilarious and fun and make people happy! So thanks so much!
Much love,
Gabbie


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Review #10, by GirlOnTheSidelines That Night

29th January 2013:
Wow.

Just wow.

I absolutely loved this. It is so interesting to see things from Percy's perspective, especially how he views Audrey. It was much longer than I expected but it worked well.

I love your portrayal of George here, he came across as somewhat innocent and I love how in love he is with Angelina. He seems genuinely concerned about Percy. He's just adorable.

Lee didn't come across so well which is a bit of a shame as I loved him in the books but I guess not everyone can be perfect. I just hope he sorts himself out.

Percy was great, I loved his reaction and inability to speak when Audrey kissed him. Watching him struggle with himself was rather amusing and just makes me want to read more about him in Audrey's story.

Audrey herself is, as always, a feisty little thing. It's quite funny reading it from this perspective when you already know she is having the exact same reaction to him.

I can't wait to read more so please update soon! Your writing is amazing as always so well done,

With love,
GirlOnTheSidelines x

Author's Response: Hello!

*Goes into spasms!* GTS, where have you been?! I've missed you so much! And your reviews and your stories and I read Second Choice yesterday by the way, you're so mean! D':
Ahem. Anyway, thanks for stopping by with this review, its always such a pleasure. I hadn't known this would be so long, I'd hoped to shorten it a bit but wasn't able to get all I needed in it by doing that. So my apologies, hahaha.
But whoo! I think there's something about George that is very innocent and it might be with just how kind and damaged he is after the War. His love for Angie is something that keeps him going and I really loved writing him again, I love that guy to death. :3
Lee has his share of problems too and I wanted to put that in there but there's another one-shot of mine that I did, called "Again" that might answer some questions about him for you. Poor thing.
Bwhaa, poor Percy! It was HILARIOUS writing him with Audrey in this because he was so nervous and conflicted! And it does make you want to read more about him in her story, which was my intention with this companion piece.
Psst. There's another one with Ben and Roxanne called "Restraint" if you want to check it out, its a one-shot.
It is really funny to see how Percy reacts to Audrey when you already know that she was having such a strong reaction to him in her own story. Strange that they didn't seem to notice that about one another. HAHAHA.
I will update soon! I promise! :D
Much love *HUGS*,
Gabbie


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