Wii wii! ;) I'm curious to see how you develop Josephine's character--I feel like she's going to be pivotal later on; and Draco's loneliness will change the game as well. I'm anxiously awaiting the next chapter! :D Great job as always, write quickly! :) xxAuthor's Response: How did you guess she was going to be pivotal? I won't reveal in what way as that would ruin the surprise ;) Yeah Draco will slowly come out of his shell! Thank you for another lovely review, and I'm really glad that you enjoyed the chapter!
-Kiana Report Review
This is such an awesome story - I've heard this song so many times, and these words, but I've never related them to Draco :) So it's really fascinating to read this!
The first line really hits you and grabs your attention - right from the start it engages you, and it's so riveting from Draco. The format really adds to the suspense too, and I love the way it's laid out like his thought process.
The characterisation of Draco was perfect - you managed to capture his reluctance, and his family's reluctance to the war and the death eaters, and yet their unwillingness as well to go with the rules. It most certainly is very realistic and believable, and the whole idea of the quote being about Draco from the war is so original! I love your take on it.
I love how you describe how each character reacts to fame - it's so funnier and so much more amusing in Draco's perspective as well! I love how he thinks' Harry sucks it all up, and you really made me laugh with my favourite quote: "What was it called S.C.R.E.W.? S.P.E.W.? Who knows? And quite frankly, who really cares?" I think it was hilarious that Hermione used her fame for that!
Overall, a really awesome and captivating story, and I'm bursting to read the next chapter! :D
Random fun fact: Today in 1963 - The last Project Mercury space flight was launched.Author's Response: Yeah I was given the song and Draco for a challenge and for some reason they seemed to fit really well, so I'm glad you're finding it fascinating.
I'm really glad that you liked the format as I thought it was almost too boring and that it lacked action, so yay for that. Unfortunately the rest of the story isn't purely his thoughts, as they may be a little difficult to sustain!
I'm really glad that you liked Draco's characterisation as he's such a complex character and you never really know what he's up to so it was mostly guessing on that front, so to have you find it realistic is wonderful!
Haha, I loved writing that part too, as they varied so much and it was fun to see Draco's thoughts to each one. Ah thank you for this wonderful review it really cheered my day and I hope you like the rest of the story!
And thank you for the fun fact, I've never gotten that in a review before but it was really interesting so I may have to steal that idea :P
-Kiana Report Review
I loved this! I haven't read many things from Draco's point of view and most especially thought about how things would be for him and his mother after the war. I can't wait to read more! I love how he reflects on how cruel his father was since I have always seen him that way myself. There are so many other stories that I have seen out there that try to portray Lucius as just a strict disciplinarian who is secretly a loving father and a doting husband and I do not see him that way at all. Great job with this one!!Author's Response: Hey there!
I'm so glad that you loved it, and that you liked his POV. I have to admit that it does spilt between him and Hermione's POV later on, but I hope you like her's too :)
Yeah I've always had mixed feelings towards what a father Lucius would have been like, so I'm glad that you liked my version of him, as I wasn't sure how receptive people would be towards him!
Thank you for this great review, and I really hope that you continue to read this :D
-Kiana Report Review
Oh, thank you for the shootout! :) You really are a great writer though, so you deserve to get reviews! The French people were great, it seemed very on target as to how French people act/talk. I agree with how Harry & Hermione felt about Annette--those kinds of people kind of scare me a little too :] This was such a great and exciting chapter though, I want to know what happens when they finally settle in and get started in the dirty work on their mission! :D xxAuthor's Response: You're welcome, you deserve as I always look forward to your reviews! Eek thank you for calling me a great writer! I'm glad that you liked the French speak as I thought it was a bit OTT! I liked including Annette, but I feel as if she would scare me too much to like her :P I can't wait for the mission either, and I hope you'll like it! Thank you for leaving another great review,
-Kiana :D Report Review
great. just don't let malfoy and granger get together. Wouldn't make much sense.Author's Response: Eek! Two reviews from you :D I'm hoping the way they get together in this story will make sense, and hopefully you'll find it will too! Thank you for another review,
-Kiana :D Report Review
its interesting. just don't go off track and get Malfoy and Hermione together. it would be a deal breaker.Author's Response: I'm glad that you're finding it interesting. It is a Dramione story though, so they will end up together eventually :/ Thanks for the review :D
-Kiana Report Review
Hello Kiana, popping over from Review Tag!
Poor Draco can't catch a break! I can see he's clearly trying to find his place in the post-war world. I like how you made some things that could seem out of character fit better by making them be in his best interest--for example, his comments about blood purity not mattering being mostly about not getting negative attention from passerby, and his insistence that he be permitted to talk to Hermione because Astoria didn't make decisions for him. I would be careful not to extend those ideas too far yet, though, given that he's got a whole story to change his ways and decide that blood purity really doesn't matter to him anymore.
If I remember correctly, Pansy wore a similar frilly pink dress to the Yule Ball in canon. Was this meant to be a slight to her? Either way, brilliant. Draco really has to stop getting involved with these high-maintenance women!
I liked your characterization of Hermione and Ron a lot. It's nice to see that getting through the war has made Hermione more confident, even when faced with ancient prejudice. I also like how Ron hasn't quite shed his impulsive and defensive ways, suggesting that it's perhaps a good thing that he's not accompanying the other four on the trip.
I did notice a fair few technical errors in this chapter, mostly typos and grammar errors and using commas where you should use semi-colons or periods. I don't remember if you have a beta reader for this or not, but I'd recommend looking into getting one just to give it that bit of polish :)
Nice job! I'll be back sometime for chapter five!
-AmandaAuthor's Response: Hi Amanda!
Yes Draco isn't have the best of times at the moment, but if he was it would be a little weird! I'll definitely not go overboard on the things which may appear out of character, as then it would be weird :P
I think she did wear a dress, as I kind of wanted to show that though he and Pansy are ok now, he and Astoria will never be!
I'm glad that you liked the characterisation of Ron and Hermione as they're rather hard characters to pin down as we know so much about them. They've both changed a lot recently so I guess I can still play with that!
Yeah my beta's gone AWOL at the moment, and hasn't replied to my emails for a while. Hopefully she'll pop up again soon to sort it out!
Thank you for this great review,
-Kiana Report Review
More more more :) pleasse I love itAuthor's Response: I'm so glad that you love it, and there should be more up in a week or so :) Report Review
Here for your requested review from the forums.
This was an interesting chapter, certainly. I liked the "civil conversation" between Hermione and Draco, before Astoria came barging in. The way things turned out was realistic enough as well, so good job.
Astoria was very annoying. I like that you developed her character further here though - showing that she's a blood supremacist, apart from being a dumb witch. The way she acts is really irritating but it suits the personality, and makes Draco's annoyance with her very believable.
I like the idea of the Ball too, though perhaps more description and imagery there would have been nice there. Instead of just focusing on the action of the situation, it would have been nicer if you had set the scene a little with describing the Ball in a more detailed manner with beautiful imagery. Apart from that though, I liked the whole idea of it and how the situation played out.
Hermione's reaction was realistic indeed. She is a person who always stands up for what is right and I was pleased you focused on that. I also liked her bickering with Draco as it was original and not out of character.
I loved how Draco finally let go of Astoria and voiced his true opinion of her. That sounds like the thing he'd do and I was waiting for something like this.
I noticed a few typos here and there, so I'd suggest giving this a thorough re-read and fixing them. Besides that, this was a well-written chapter. I like the way the plot is developing, and look forward to the France trip.
Keep writing! Good going!
P.S. Feel free to re-request when the next chapter is up.Author's Response: Hi Aditi!
I'm glad that you found the conversation between Hermione and Draco realisitc, and with Astoria barging in, as I wasn't sure if it was too soon for them to be talking like that.
Yes I couldn't have Astoria just be dumb, as I felt it wouldn;t justify Draco's hatred of her, and it seemed to make sense that she would be a blood supremacist.
I know I probably should have added in more description there, I just didn't want the chapter to be massive, but I'll go back and add some in. I agree that it can be a bit tiring if there's just action all the time.
I'm glad that you Hermione's reaction, I want to keep her in character, but it's proving rather hard to do. Especially her bickering with Draco, as it was more light hearted and not so argumentative!
Yes Draco finally did come to his senses, I think he is brave, but he wanted to see if she really was that annoying and I guess she was!
I'll re-read the chapter and get rid of the typos, so thanks for pointing that out! I can't wait for the France trip either :D
Thanks for the great review,
-Kiana :D Report Review
First off, I'm really impressed that this story is far more original than many next-generation Dramione stories. Most start off with an immediate attraction between Hermione and Draco, while here, clearly a resolution is still desperately needed between the two, which I think the progression of which will be very interesting to witness!
You did, however, misuse the word 'misgiving' in the beginning of this chapter. You used it to mean 'misdeed' but the term more accurately describes a feeling of apprehension.
I think the plot of the story is rather slow, at the moment. I feel as if there isn't enough substance to each chapter, and that would be my main advice for this story. I think it has a lot of potential, but I'd like to see the story progress a little faster.
I think Draco's thoughts are accurate to his character and the post-war setting is also realistic and well-set. Overall, great story!Author's Response: I'm glad that you thought the start was original, I didn't think it would be realistic if they had an instant attraction, so I'm glad that you liked it.
I'll review the use of misgiving :) I agree that the first few chapters were rather slow, but I wanted there to be more background behind the two before the action so the readers knew where they stood. It should be faster in the next chapter.
I'm glad that you liked Draco's thoughts as they were rather hard to capture, and the post-war setting too.
Thank you for the review, and I'll keep the pace of the story in mind.
-Kiana :D Report Review
I am really enjoying this so far. I like that the relationship between Hermione and Draco isn't rushed from hate to love in a paragraph. Keep up the good work!Author's Response: I'm glad that you think that their relationship isn't rushed, as that's what I'm trying to show! Thank you so much for the review, it means so much to me :D Report Review
I really like that Draco finally stood up for himself and left Astoria. Now he's all free for someone who isn't an idiot. Can't wait for an update :)Author's Response: Haha he had to stand up to, as she's horrible! Well we know what that person's going to be ;D Thank you for the review, it means so much to me :D Report Review
God, Astoria is sooo annoying! I love how you wrote her though! xD Even though her demeanor and attitude piss me off, I can see why you wrote her that way, and Ron as well for that matter. I'm curious to see how the dynamics will be affected in France with Draco, Hermione, Harry, and Neville. Great job on this chapter, excited for the next one! :) xxAuthor's Response: Haha yes Astoria is annoying, but I'm glad you liked how I wrote her! Yes more about Ron will be revealed later on, and I hope you like it :) I can't wait for their trip to France either, and I can't wait to write it! Thank you so much for another great review :D
-Kiana! Report Review
Amazing. I can't wait to read more :)Author's Response: Thanks so much for leaving me a review, it means so much to me! I would love to know what you think when the next chapter's up! Report Review
Awh, poor Draco! It really sucks that his mom's trying to force him to be with Astoria (she sounds like a total poop :P) And Daphne reminds me of Luna! If they were stuck in a room together, they'd have quite the intellectual conversations ;) Anyways, going back to the forced betrothal thing, you'd think that his mom would understand because she was also forced (and ended up very unhappy) but she doesn't? I want to learn I guess more about why that is and if there's really a reason for that :/ Can't wait til the ball scene. I want to see what goes on between Draco and Astoria :)
Once again, really nice chapter!
-Sankavi ^_^Author's Response: Hahaha I'm totally with you on his Mum's front, but I think that was just pureblood tradition, and this is him rebelling against it!
I have to admit Luna did inspire me when writing Daphne. I think I just wanted to show that even they were on opposing sides of the war, they were still the same, and could have been friends if they knew one another!
I think the reason why Narcissa is like that, is because her family has been so much, and has fallen down so much in society she just wants to reclaim their old position. I also think that even though she didn't like her marriage, those ideas are still ingrained in her, and she won't change!
I'm currently writing the ball scene, and it should be up soon! It has lots of, hopefully, funny moments between Draco and Astoria!
Thank you for another great review, and I hope to see you back soon :D
Kiana Report Review
Hi Kiana! I'm here for the BvB :)
So, I like the fact that it's from Draco's point of view because it's nice to see his thoughts. I feel like many people can make Draco's dynamic so much bigger if they add in what he thinks because of what he's been though and stuff. Like, as a former Death Eater, what life was like for him. I think you do a pretty good job on this. However, I feel that you could make him slightly darker? Like, seeing where he comes from, he can't be /too/ la di da about life and I think you're doing okay with that but I can see certain spots where you are kind of toeing the line. Does that make any sense?
This is really nice and I can't wait to read more!
-Sankavi ^_^Author's Response: Hi Sankavi!
I'm glad that you liked Draco's POV, as we never see much of it, so I wanted to explore! Haha yeah I know what you mean, I just didn't want to make him too dark, as otherwise him and Hermione would never get together as I don't think she would like an ultra dark wizard!
Besides, I don't think he was that evil, I think it was more of the situation he was in at the time, and hopefully since the first chapter was a couple of months after the war, he had become more reflective!
Thank you for the review, and I hope you enjoy the rest of it!
Kiana :D Report Review
Hello again! Cliches are sometimes the most fun to write though because then you can twist them so they're not. :) I'm curious to see what goes on since Hermione is the only female in the group and Ron will be left all alone at home. I know you have a beta, but make sure she edits for too long sentences--you have a couple of run-ons that kind of ruin the flow. Other than that, your consistency is great! Keep it up! xxAuthor's Response: Hey it's so nice to see you back again!
Yes, that was my reasoning when I did the whole Uprising thing, as I wanted to be able to put my own spin on it, so hopefully it won't be a cliche anymore!
I think Hermione is probably use to being the only girl around, but I agree I think it may affect the dyanmic of the group, due to her being more rational and pragmatic than the others.
I can never seem to get to grips with the run-on sentences, as much as I review them, they still appear, so I'll make sure when I edit this chapter again, I get rid of them!
Thank you for this lovely review, and the next chapter should be up sometime next week :Dxx Report Review
I love how Draco has been portayed in the first two chapters of this story. It's nice, different and unusual to see him so reflective, but that gives your story something more unique. I feel sorry for him especially with Narcissa practially forcing an arrangement marriage on him, or generally trying to. Making Teddy's gran and Narcissa becomes friends is nice and I hope you will explore that more and we will see more of that. Especially Draco with Teddy as that's so cute.
I loved how you've done two POV's of Draco and then moved on Hermione. What she and Harry did for him, well, it kind of expected but nice they did it.
I love this story and where your going with it!
LauraAuthor's Response: Hi Laura!
I'm glad that you liked how Draco was portrayed, I wanted to make him reflective as I imagined that he would be after the war. I'm glad that you felt that it made my story unique though.
Yes Narcissa can be a bit forceful at times, I think it's a common pureblood thing though, and you'll find out more in future chapters.
I love Teddy and Draco too, and they should feature more in future chapters, as well as Narcissa and Andromeda!
I'm glad that you liked the POV change, as I get bored writing in just one. I think Harry and Hermione would have done it, as they saved him during the battle :)
Thank you for the lovely review,
Kiana:D Report Review
I meant to stop by and review this the other day when I noticed the story had been updated, so I'm glad you posted to do a swap with me. Thanks :)
I like Hermione's point of view a lot! She seems very ruffled, but at the same time, I get the sense that she wouldn't be in this job unless she thrived on its busy nature. I like how she struggles to juggle all these different talents and duties--being a good wife to Ron, working on a law, babysitting. I also like how thoughtful she was and how she didn't just have knee-jerk reactions to everything. It reminded me a lot of the Hermione in canon.
I guess the one thing that threw me a little was the placement of Hermione's reflection on Snape. I think it's totally in character, but I would consider moving it down so that it's after Draco leaves. Otherwise, it seems like she's staring at him while she goes on this long train of thought, and that would be kind of awkward to picture realistically.
Nice work! This is coming along really well!
-AmandaAuthor's Response: Hi Amanda!
I'm glad that you liked Hermione's POV! Yes I don't think she would be happy at all, if she couldn't be rushing around, and changing the world. I'm glad that my Hermione reminds you of canon Hermione, as she tends to be changed a lot in fan fiction, so I wanted to keep her to the original.
Yeah I liked her reflection on Snape, but thanks for pointing that out! Now I realise it, it does seem a little odd there, and I don't Draco thinking Hermione's stalking him or something ;D
Thank you for the great review,
Kiana :D Report Review
Hi there! Here for your requested review (and also for review tag - I hope you don't mind me clubbing the two things together)!
I quite liked this chapter and how you wrote Hermione's POV. I think you have captured her character quite well. It's exactly how I'd imagine her to behave after growing. The long trains of thoughts and being anxious and stressed is all very much in character.
I liked the little details you gave, like her feeling that Ron had changed a lot, and being uncomfortable about lying to everyone. The interaction she had with Draco, and her thoughts on him, were written well too - the confusion she seemed to have on whether she liked him or not (that is how it came across to me) seemed quite realistic. (When I say 'like' - I mean in a non-romantic way).
The uprising thing is slightly cliche yes, but fanfiction would be nowhere without cliche haha, and as long as you give it your own spin and add your touch of originality to it, it should all turn out fine. The idea of it so far seems interesting and I am eager to find out more about it.
The brief interaction Hermione had with Ron in the end was also quite well-written. Ron and Hermione seemed to be having an easy-going and simple relationship yet nothing 'spark-y' and that came through well - which connected with the part about Hermione saying in the beginning how they had all grown up before their time.
The only CC I have for you is to polish your sentences a little bit to ease up the flow. Some are very long-winded and can come off as boring. Especially, some long thoughts between dialogue/people-interactions disrupt the flow, so try to reduce them (in quantity) in those places or shorten them (in length). Instead, if you want Hermione to reflect on conversations/interactions, put it AFTER the conversations/interactions and not in between (though don't overdo this either). I hope that makes sense and I could be of some help!
But apart from that, this chapter was quite neat and so far the story seems to have a well-rounded plot, good characterisation, and balanced pace.
Keep writing! Good work =)
(AditiDraco95)Author's Response: Sorry it took a while to reply, I've just been really busy recently! It was no problem that you combined them!
I'm glad that you liked Hermione's POV, and it seemed in character, as I hate it when people change her to be a completely different person!
I'm glad that you liked the little details, as I love including them. I was a little unsure about her thoughts about Draco, as I was worried that they were too confusing, but I'm glad you thought they were realistic.
I know what you mean about fan fiction and cliches! I was given a song called Uprising for a challenge, and I thought it would be cool to include it, I hope the way I'm planning on whats going to happen, won't be too cliche!
Yes Hermione and Ron never seemed to have much of a spark in the books, so I wanted to reflect that here.
Yeah I have a habit of writing long sentences, so I'll try and cut some down. Someone else mentioned moving the reflective parts, and I think I will do, as it makes more sense to have them at the end. It does make sense to me, so don't worry!
Thank you for the great review!
Kiana :D Report Review
Hey there lovely, I'm here with your requested review and its been a while since this story had an update! I actually really like the thought of a very stressed out Hermione, it makes me wonder what she would do in a really tense moment. Her temper was showing in this too, which was a good sign that not everything had changed. Hehehe.
I think the only thing I didn't really get was her feelings for Draco. Maybe I was just reading those parts wrong but I'm not quite clear if she dislikes him or not, I felt like her thoughts kept shifting a bit. But Draco's annoying like that so I can't blame her but it was surprising that he was with Teddy, I hardly see them interacting together in fanfiction.
I actually really like that idea. :D
So, this Platton guy, I didn't like, he was sort of full of himself if you ask me. And I love how he just dumped this mission on Hermione but the threat of another Death Eater uprising has me curious. I wonder how she'll handle being apart from Ron for this long? I'm really glad that you've added in Harry and Neville for the mission though, it would have been too easy for her and Draco to wind up traveling together. ;)
There needs to be angst! And romance! Hahaha. I have a feeling that this case isn't going to go smoothly though, and that ending sort of left me wondering. Ron was acting oddly and I wonder if there's something up with him? Sad to hear about my precious Georgie though, I want him to be happy! D':
Anyway, the only CCs (DUM, DUM) would just be slowing down a bit with some of your sentences. A few periods would be great and some of your details could be cut down a little so the flow would go better. :D
Other than that, its awesome! I'm really curious to see where this goes.
GabbieAuthor's Response: Hi Gabbie!
Yes this story was getting a little neglected, but I lost inspiration for a while, and my beta had loads of tests so she took a while.
I'm glad that you found Hermione hasn't changed too much, as I want to keep her to the original. I hate it when characters completely change so I'm glad that you found that she hasn't.
Yes her thoughts on Draco are a bit confusing, but I guess she isn't really sure what she thinks of him, so there's confusion. I'll read it back over and see if I can make it any clearer:)
Yes I never see Draco and Teddy together in fan fiction, so I thought it would be nice to include those scenes. I'm glad that you liked it, as I liked writing it.
Yeah there always need to be that annoying guy, and in this case it's Platton. Yeah I thought it would be too easy making her go alone with Draco, and it wouldn't be accurate as neither of them are aurors.
There will be angst, and romance... But I can't say anymore about it ;)
Ron is a little odd, and I guess you'll find out more about the reason later... Yeah poor Georgie he is still a little sad over Fred, but he will get better, with Ron and Angelina by his side ;D
I'll review this chapter, and include your CC's. I just hadn't updated this in a while, so I didn't do a thorough proof read.
Thanks for the lovely review :D
-Kiana! Report Review
Well then he should just run into Hermione and call it done. ;) Just one thing I have for you: make sure they sound like they should--Draco sounds a little out of character and a little too American (but if you're American like me, I get it.) Otherwise, I'm happy to see where this is going and excited for the next installment! :) xxAuthor's Response: Ha yes but if I did it just like that, it wouldn't be fun ;) I'll review Draco's character, as I do want to make him canon, it's just so hard, so I'll go back and see how I can improve him! I have the next chapter written, and it should be in the queue in the next couple of days! Thanks for the review:Dx Report Review
There's not really much I can say here, it was a great chapter as always and the only thing that I can really comment on is that you had some lsight grammatical/punctuation errors but other than that there wasn't really anything that I really needed to point out.
I thought you kept Draco and his mother in character very well so well done on that.Author's Response: Ooh your back again thanks for the second review!
I'm glad that you thought it was a great chapter, as this was rather rushed due to a challenge deadline, that's probably why there's grammar errors, I'll read it through and fix those!
I'm glad that you still thought Draco and his mother were characterised well, as there was action and dialogue here, which I find much harder than thoughts! Report Review
Hello, I'm here for the review battle! I really loved the amount of description that you put in the chapter and besides the one grammar error I didn't see much wrong.
I think you did a great job on Draco's thoughts. The more I read on the more I realised that this sounded like Draco Malfoy. The thoughts made sense, the thoughts were the thoughts of a boy who had grown up like Draco Malfoy.
I don't think Ron would've gone on with blonde bimbos after he became famous. I agree that he would've loved the limelight and basked in it and heck, used it to get free stuff but I highly doubt that he would've used it to pick up girls.
Judging from the books he was crazy about Hermione and they got together before the war was even over.
Anyway, this was a really good chapter!Author's Response: Hello! It's nice to see you again!
I'm glad that you liked all the description, as I was little worried it was too much, and the reader would get bored due to no action, so I'm glad that wasn't the case! I'll go back and weed out that grammar error! Only having one is a record for me!
I'm so glad that Draco's thoughts worked well, as I'm writing it from a girls mind so it's a lot harder, and especially as the characters Draco, as he's so complex and we never know what he's thinking!
Yes I did think it was a tad too far myself about Ron and the bimbos, but I guess as it's from Draco's perspective, his always going to exagarate things when it comes to poor old Ron!
Thank you for the great review! Report Review
Hello, here from Team Blue for the review battle!
I really like the introduction of Andromeda and Teddy here. My head canon is that Narcissa and Andromeda reconciled at least a little after the war, though I've never had them being quite this chummy. I also love that Draco has a bond with Teddy; that seems like a great way for him to atone for the way he was in the main series.
Okay, time for some crit. You might actually benefit from having your beta take a closer look at this, because I noticed a few mistakes along the way. For one thing, you have several very long sentences, which you've broken up with five or six commas. Those would be better as separate sentences, because you're getting into run-on territory and it just reads a little awkwardly flow-wise. I also noticed several times that you alternated between capitalizing "Mother" and leaving it lowercase when it should be capitalized.
It's also interesting to read a story where Astoria is so unattractive--not in terms of how she looks, but personality-wise. It's amusing how much Draco wants to get out of marrying her. Most of the stories I read are about her rescuing him from his tortured soul, but I like this humorous twist.
Nice work :)
-AmandaAuthor's Response: Hello, I'm glad that you decided to come back to chapter 2!
I'm glad that you liked Andromeda and Teddy, as I was swaying over whether to include them or not, but I'm glad that I did now! Yes I'll probably introduce some awkwardness between the sisters later on, just to show that there is a little doubt in their relationship! And Teddy and Draco, I thought it would be fun to make them friends!
Yes my beta was a little rushed with the editing of this chapter, but she promised to look it over again when she had more time, so it will get sorted eventually! Yes I'm never sure whether to capitalize Mother or not, so I'll go back and sort it out!
I'm glad that you liked Astoria, I thought it would suit the title of the story (Uprising), as he's uprising against his mother's wishes! I'll make sure she features more, as she is rather fun to write!
Thank you for taking the time to leave such a helpful review, Kiana :) Report Review
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