Mel! I totally meant to review this yesterday, and then all of a sudden I had five PMs and beta jobs and what have you, and this sort of fell by the wayside. Which I think you knew anyway. :P But I'm so glad that I found the time to read this tonight!
Forever thrilled that you wrote me a Harry one-shot. And dark!Harry, too! ♥ That is my favorite kind of Harry. And you did it so well, too! Ooh, I love all the little deathly things you sprinkled throughout this; it was bleak, but appropriately so, and the sort of bleak I love to read about. My heart broke when you made little Lily appear, though. :( And at just how many people were in the parade (Cedriccc). But I loved the way you wrote Sirius. I think he would have been just like that, if he'd been given the chance to grow old! Such cruelty, all these people who died before their times.
I love the imagery you put into this, too! Especially how you managed to convey darkness in so many different ways. The way you described things in the story enhanced the tone of it so well -- this was one of my favorite lines:
Patting along the moist pavement, his bent and crooked fingers closed around the wire frames. -- I don't know what struck me about this in particular, but there's something so broken and defeated about it, even though it's small, and it just seems so Harry. Fantastic!
I can't tell you how happy I am that you were willing to write me this one-shot. ♥ You're a fantastic friend, Mel! Thank you so much!! Report Review
Hello there :D I'm just floating around the archives looking for stories to read and happened to click on this one. And am I glad I did :D
This is a beautiful piece of writing and I think you captured the survivor's guilt and long-term effects of war very convincingly. You wrote Harry's frame of mind so chillingly and beautifully. And when I finally got to the parade of the dead part I was blown away by the vividness of the imagery. The pacing of the story really picked up here, which was great as the beginning was a little laboured with all the description. But as the story progressed, I got the sense that things were becoming more and more frantic as Harry's nightmares become more vivid and traumatic before all that tension culminates in that scene at the veil.
You have a great eye for detail e.g. the cat with the bone who was actually Barty Crouch, Bode with the Devil's Snare round his neck, Cedric with the Winner's Cup. They were all very striking and somewhat terrifying images. I was really immersed in the horror of Harry's nightmares.
And that scene with Lily in it...it was a lovely touch, and a break from all the angst and tension and darkness. I really enjoyed the contrast of that moment to the rest of the story.
I loved the sense of closure as well. It was really beautifully done, a nice tranquil ending without any melodrama to such a dark story :)
I really enjoyed this piece of writing! Great work :D Hope to read more of your stories soon!
-tehAuthor's Response: Hello!
I can't tell you how much I appreciate random reviewers! It's so nice to log in and see a review that I didn't anticipate. I'm glad that you enjoyed this dark little story. I used to write a lot more dark things before fluff and romance (two very addicting genres, mind you :P ) took over my brain, but it's been a long while. I don't know if you're familiar with it or not, but I sort of envisioned a distorted day of the dead sort of parade trouncing through Harry's mind. Lily Luna sort of served the role that says, no... not all death is ugly and haunting. I think this was important for Harry as he made his way to the veil to be reminded of this by his daughter.
Thank you so much ofr reviewing! :) Report Review
Wow. Just wow. I'm absolutely speechless after reading this. As a person who's not that crazy about one-shots, this one completely blew my expectations away. It's one of the rare gems we find on HPFF.
It's interesting how you've tied all the Harry Potter books together. Especially the Knight bus taking Harry to the Department of Mysteries. Your characterization was flawless, and god, the writing nearly perfect. It was hard not to shed a tear when Harry met Sirius again, after everything the two did for each other.
My favorite part however was the incorporation of the veil! Out of all the symbols in the Potter universe, nothing is mere intriguing than the veil (in my opinion). You did a magnificent job, and I know I'm gushing, I just want you to know what a great writer you are!
You've earned yourself a dedicated fan!Author's Response: Hello!
I'm so stunned by your review, thank you! I'm grateful that you clicked on my little bannerless story considering you're not a fan of one-shots, but then you went and read it!! I never realized how many threads from the potter-verse I was tying together with this story until I was writing the A/N, but it's sort of a neat result. I'm glad you enjoyed this and am blushing at your compliment.
Thank you so much! Report Review
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