Just wanted to let you know that this was really beautiful and sad. I think i started getting emotional after the first sentence because all i could imagine was Colin dead. I began liking his character after Toujours 'Run' and i think you captured him perfectly here. It's just ah, i can' even describe it but you've written this piece really well capturing the sadness so well and yet keeping the action going so the reader didn't feel overwhelmed. I'm always envious of this because i feel like i lack in the action department and focus on emotion so much that the story gets lost. So this is really well done in that sense.
I like your take on Luna too. Her artistry, how she tries to capture everything in this painting and how each stroke means something. I think you got that across beautifully and i love how you kept counting up to a thousand. It brought that idea home of how pictures are worth so much and how much this picture meant everything to her.
Really great job!Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review!
I'm so glad you liked my versions of Luna and Colin. Colin was a bit easier, as we didn't learn all that much canon information on his, so I was allowed go a bit nuts, but Luna was quite difficult, as she is a very prominent character, with a unique personality, and I'm so glad you think I got that right!
Just thank you so much for the lovely, lovely review! :D Report Review
Hey! Here to review your entry for my challenge.
This was absolutely beautiful, and so heartbreaking. I loved the whole concept of how you used "A picture is worth a thousand words." Luna did seem like an artist to me in the books so it was great that you picked up on that and had her paint her love - Colin - here. The little moments Luna and Colin shared were expressed beautifully throughout. I liked how it all flowed so well together - the present tied in well with the past. I had never before imagined Luna/Colin together but after reading this one-shot, I definitely can. You portrayed Luna wonderfully, and portrayed Colin through her thoughts/memories/painting extremely well. Your descriptions were simple yet intricate, and made the whole thing play out in front of my eyes like a film. The ending part just broke my heart. Colin taking the curse for Luna was so tragic. And the part about Luna convincing herself that it wasn't Colin but someone else in the coffin really struck a chord.
All in all, this was a powerful piece of writing. Your plot, characterisations, descriptions, flow, and grammar - it was all very well done. I liked this immensely. Great job!
Thank you for participating in my challenge, I shall announce the results in a few days.
(AditiDraco95)Author's Response: Hello!
Believe me when I say that this review has made my day completely. When I first started writing this one-shot, it was supposed to be a Harry/Luna, but then for some reason it morphed into a Luna/Colin. I'm glad it seemed realistic, and that you liked the characters, as one thing that worried me was if I had gotten Luna's personality right.
Thank you so much for the wonderful review, I actually am speechless, needless to say my day is made! Report Review
Hi! Here from the review tag over at the forums :D Oh my, this is wonderful! I loved the small sections and the structure of this, it suited the one shot perfectly, pieces of Colin's life slowly put together. Colin is a character who is so easily gleaned over, but in this, you really let us as readers explore his personality. What I loved more was how you showed us what he was like by giving us glimpses, how he can dance and his smile, rather than telling us what he's like which can be very boring. Beautifully written, the descriptions of the paint and the colours are amazing and it all just flows together. This is really such an evocative piece, the tragedy of the loss of Luna's love and the loss of potential life is striking and made me tear :P
Great job! Definitely one for the favourites ;)
~AishaAuthor's Response: Hi back! :)
I'm glad you liked the way I wrote this, as it was a new sort of style for me, and I was a bit worried about it going wrong!
Since discovering the forums, I have become obsessed with minor characters such as Lavender and Colin and the like! They just interest me so much, so this was a rather fun piece to write!
Thank you so much! This review has made my day :D
I liked it a lot. It gave me a different view on Luna and Collin. I never really thought of Collins dead before. It was sad, but not that sad compaired to the deaths of Tonks and Remus and so on. It made me think about it.
I like it when a story makes me think about those kind of things.
xAuthor's Response: Awh, thank you! I'm glad I got you to think about stuff, as it is every authors goal! And honestly, I haven't forgotten about my beta-ing duties, life is just insanely busy I SHALL GET IT BACK TO YOU! Honest! Report Review
Aww...this is a sweet story. And I like the Colin/Luna shipping, it is actually really sweet. It's very nicely done, I really liked how you took the phrase and used it in the story.Author's Response: Thank you :)
It really isn't that good, I know that, but if its okay with you, I'll PM you when I update the revised version :) Report Review
There was something really sweet and honest about the way you wrote this, and how you portrayed Luna. I've literally never even thought about this ship before now but it's an interesting concept.
This is really well written, but if I could suggest one thing, it would be to add a bit more description. I would have loved a clearer picture in my mind of the surroundings and atmosphere but it was still fantastic.
I also thought you wrote Luna wonderfully. Personally, I'm scared to even attempt to write her because I feel like I would just ruin her personality. However, you did amazing! She was honest, unique Luna just like in the books. :)
Overall, a beautiful piece! :) Great job!
- FAuthor's Response: Thank you so much :D
This was written in a flurry for my Secret Santa, so I will most definitely be going back over it and adding in more description (it seems that is my weak point, I never add in enough :) )
And I am so glad you think I got her personality right :) I was terrified too, because she is one of my all-time favourite characters, so I'm glad you think it went well :D Report Review
Hi! Maggie here from review swap!
Wow. I just loved this! The way you shift back and forth from the past to the present feels effortless, and I loved the glimpses into Colin and Luna's time together at Hogwarts. I can see them being a really cute couple, and I think you did a great job of showing that through those little moments between them at Hogwarts.
My favorite moment in this is the part where she's mixing the color for Colin's eyes, and realizes it looks right in the sunset. And then that leads to a sweet memory of him telling her about why he loves the sunset so much. I think that connection is just wonderful, and it made me smile. But then there's that tinge of sadness to the whole thing, because we know what eventually happens to Colin.
The idea of counting to a thousand during the painting scenes was a great touch. It brought this sense of continuity to the whole thing that I just loved.
I really, really enjoyed this! Thanks for swapping with me, and I'm so glad to have found this story :)
--MaggieAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for such a nice review :) Its really made my day :D Report Review
Ooh! I like it! Really elegantly written, and I love how you gave more and more indicators of who he was and then only properly said it at the end. A really nice pairing that isn't very common, which I like!
Just once near the beginning, you said 'H' instead of 'He' - just a tiny proofreading thing.
Well done! A really nice, concise story! :)Author's Response: Thank you so much :) This was actually written in one sitting to get it into the queue, so I haven't quite ironed out all the kinks yet, but I'll definitely be goin back over it over the next two weeks :D Thank you so much for reading and reviewing :) Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection