Oh. Please update! I really want to know what happens! This is so good, I read it in one sitting! :) Report Review
Hi! I'm here for your requested review. =)
Well, that was quite a long considering that it was the first chapter of the story. That might scare off some of the readers. But I was pleasantly surprised about her annoying cousin who had a crush on Dudley. She was an excellent addition to this story, and I'm quite interested in seeing if she makes reappearances in later chapters. Because if she does, I bet she could makes things quite entertaining.
I was bit lost in the beginning about who was the main character here, since you used Tabitha's point of view as well. Generally it's better to stick with one point of view per chapter, because it can confuse readers otherwise.
I quite liked how Liesel's dad told her about her heritage, although if most of her dad's side of the family is magical, it's surprising that she didn't know anything about it beforehand. I guess she doesn't have much contact with her grandparents?
It would be fun to know how she first demonstrated her magical ability when she was a kid. =)
Your main character is bit prickly, and bordering on anti-social there in the end. After all, it's the first time most of these kids are alone from their families (except of course the ones who have siblings), so most eleven-year-olds would probably be bit homesick and actually seek company. Also, if she doesn't want to actively speak with other kids, I sense that it might be bit more challenging to write about her.
I like the way you kept the story going from the beginning to the end of this chapter. There was quite a lot of action going on, although it was rather traditional beginning for a fan fic, with the train and letters and starting the new school year.
There were some typos in this chapter (like Pavarti -> Parvati) and some small inconsistencies, but if you read it through once more, those things are quite easy to spot and fix.
It was a solid beginning for a story, and once your OC comes out of her shell a bit, I suspect it will be really fun story to read. =)
If you have any questions about my review, just PM in the forums. Happy writing! Report Review
Please please please update soon! This is such a good story Report Review
Another wonderful chapter! I love the suspense, but cliffhangers? Tsk, tsk. Oi, the Mark of Athena cliffhanger is dreadful. I already suspected that Liesel's a seer, but now I'm positive. I'm also skeptical about her unborn baby brother. I'm not so sure if that's a good idea. I mean, you should almost always listen to a seer. I hope nothing happens to Liesel's mom though, she seems nice. Again, wondering what's in the box and can't wait for the summary scene. Update soon!
~Rebecca Report Review
Gah. PLEASE. UPDATE. SOON.
I really love this little piece of heaven. I KNEW SHE WAS A SEER. Anxiously awaiting your next chapter, Julie. Report Review
Wonderful chapter, yet again! I'll definitely be waiting for the next update. Again, I'd really like to see what's in the box and her reaction to the scene in the summary.
~Rebecca Report Review
I love this :P can't wait for the next chapter! When will she find out Fred likes her? Report Review
Loving Colin Creevey. This is hilarious.
Julie xx Report Review
You must, must, must update soon! I love this story and recommended it to one of my friends, and she likes it too! Again, I can't wait to see Liesel's reaction when you finally get to the part in the summary! Please, please, please update! Report Review
Oooh... I am SO jealous of Liesel! I absolutely LOVE the Weasley twins, they are my favorite characters! (Not to mention the Phelps twins, my favorite actors...) But this story is really AMAZING. I love it. :) Report Review
This is really good! I really want to know what's in the box. I suspect it's a present for Liesel. Also, I really want to get to the scene in the summary. Please update soon! Report Review
Cute chapter again! I love it and that was a really quick update the past few times. :) Keep up the good work. :D Report Review
Brilliant again! Loved it. I love how you still have Harry, Ron and Hermione in there and don't force her in places she wasn't in the books. Like big scenes such as the Troll and the Duel that you just went over. I like it. It clearly centers around her and the twins while not leaving out those three but not clashing with their first year there. Bravo!
Also I have a question that you should feel free not to answer because of plot, but did she maybe punch George instead of Fred? And now she has them mixed up? Or am I thinking too much into it? Also the reason I ask is because the summary of the story she addresses Fred but the narration says she's talking to George and then he says Fred. I didn't know if that was a typo or if she just had them mixed up. I don't know. Probably thinking too much into this. Anyways, love it so far and keep up the good work.Author's Response: I'm glad you like it! That's exatly what I wanted to do; I don't want Liesel to interfere with the plot too much.
She actually did punch Fred, and after they become friends, she can always tell the difference. As for the summary, there is a typo that I had forgotten to fix on here. But, your thinking is pretty logical. I'll be sure to fix it.
Thanks, I'll be updating as often as I can. Report Review
I really like your story so far and it's getting more and more interesting. One of my favorite parts, that I'm not sure was meant to be taken the way I did, was when she was saying how she wasn't the talk of the school, but "the boy who lived" across the street from her was. You're a genius one way or another, because that line had me cracking up. I had to reread it a few times.
I like the way you write the twins, as well. They are two of my favorite characters and I always enjoy them.
Keep it up and I can't wait for the next update. :)Author's Response: Ah, you liked my play on words! I was wondering when someone would pick up on that. I'm glad you like the twins, though! c: Report Review
I love this story! I read the beginning, and thought, ehhh. But after i read this chapter, I LOVE IT. LIKE, SO MUCH. I like how you made her different than the others, for example, how she likes Snape. I liked that. This story is very original, like it fits in, but, yet, it is very, very, very unique.
I will not give up on this story until a few years after you do!!:D
(10/10)Author's Response: Good, I'm achieving goals here!
1. Write something people will love. (I'm glad you love it, by the way!)
2. Write a story that is unique and original.
Thank you so much for reviewing, and I'm glad you didn't give up on me. c: Report Review
Oh this makes me giggle. I can't wait for the next one. :D
Hope to see an update soon!Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you like it! It only gets better from here. c: Report Review
I love the story line and plot so far. It is really good and is really long so far. (I like when stories are longer, btw. It makes me happy. :) )
I love your idea. It is very unique from what I have seen so far, and this is the first seem-like Harry/OC that I have read! I will not give up on this story, so I hope you don't forget it!
I love it!
(10/10)Author's Response: I can't forget it! Liesel is too much of a precious character to give up on.
I hope you don't give up on it! Thanks for reviewing!
xoxo Report Review
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