Reading Reviews for Ending the Deal
10 Reviews Found

Review #1, by BKL8008 Ending the Deal

24th February 2014:
Not sure how I overlooked this one. I was checking your stories, as you can't trust the RSS feeds anymore, it seems.
Dramione has to be done carefully, and done "right", otherwise, it just won't work. This piece, I think, includes all the elements that make it work. And #1, we have to realize that it would be doomed from the get-go. This is a masterful capture of the failure that would be any attempt at this relationship, canon or not. Very very well done and probably the best one I've read so far.

Author's Response: Sorry that it took me a year and a half to respond to this review! Seeing as this was my first attempt at Dramione, I'm pleased you thought it was done realistically, which is my first goal in any writing I do. I've truly appreciated your reviews through the years, and this one was no exception. Thank you very much for leaving it! ♥

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Review #2, by patronus_charm Ending the Deal

17th July 2013:

The backstory behind Ron and Lavender was really great as it meant I could place myself easily and understand what was happening between them and Draco and Hermione which is always good! The tension and all the feels between the two was excellent and I was almost feeling Dracoís annoyance about this deal having to end.

I really liked how you still kept it realistic with the slight arrogance in Draco in the dialogue and Hermioneís loyalty to Harry and Ron because it made me feel that this could actually happen in the HP world. I really liked the ending because even though you never directly said what the deal was it must have been monumental for Hermione to do that to Draco and it left it on a perfect bittersweet note.

Another amazing one-shot, Rachel!


Author's Response: Hi, Kiana! I'm glad that you liked this story -- I've never been huge on Draco/Hermione (although I recently finished one that was pretty good), and writing one for Erica's Christmas present was quite the challenge. I wanted to make it as canon as possible, and I'm relieved you thought this could have been something that might have actually happened between the pair of them in HBP. Keeping characters canon, and events as canon as possible in most circumstances, is a large part of my goals when writing fan fiction.

Even though the deal is never directly influenced, I came to understand it to be something like a way to make Ron jealous, in exchange for Hermione keeping Draco's activities a secret -- which, of course, led to an attraction between them that neither wanted to acknowledge. My headcanon is that they never mentioned it afterward, either, and all events progressed as normal. It's a bit sad, really, when I take the time to think about it...

Nevertheless, thank you for this review, and for all your other sweet ones as well! I'm seriously so lucky to have a regular reviewer like you. ♥

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Review #3, by lia_2390 Ending the Deal

26th May 2013:
This was rather a nice story. It's not the first thing that comes to mind when I consider a Dramione fic by any means; maybe I'm still stuck in the past. The more of these I've read over the years, the more I realise that the settings don't always make that much sense. Like you, I've found that during HBP and post-hogwarts eras are more logical.

This isn't the first Dramione fic I've read that was set in this time period though. They are both very vulnerable and you've depicted that very well. The way Hermione notices he is still in his uniform and questions if he's slept at all, and the way he deduces that she is still not over Ron. Nothing about their characters has changed just because of what they are doing.

The fact that this meeting was so brief, it makes me wonder what else they were up to, and why she sacrificed so much to help him. Gah, I'm so full of questions at the moment, and I love it.

I'm really glad I came across this while browsing your author's page. I think this turned out really really well too, so I'm adding this to my favourites :)

Have a great day!


Author's Response: Lia! This was such an unexpected and lovely surprise -- I saw this after logging into HPFF on a bed-and-breakfast wi-fi after five days without Internet, and it made me smile so much. ♥

This most definitely isn't the first thing that comes to my mind when I think about Dramione either, but Erica requested one for Christmas, and I knew that if I was going to do it I could only do it in a way that was most believable to me. :P There are certain eras where it does make more sense, I think, and like you said, I do think HBP is the most canon-logical year for it. I'm glad that you enjoyed it!

I almost want to explore this a bit further, and maybe find out just what they WERE doing before this one-shot takes place... Maybe someday! I've got quite a lot on my plate at the moment, writing-wise.

Thank you so much for adding this to your favorites; that seriously says so much to me, and it's an incredible honor. And thank you for taking the time to review this, too! I'm so, so glad that you did!

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Review #4, by Splendiferously_Awesome Ending the Deal

3rd April 2013:
This was beautiful and I really enjoyed reading it :)
I definitely felt as though there was an intimate connection between Hermione and Draco and that they were both suffering from rather conflicted emotions, which made it a captivating read on the whole. Well done!

Author's Response: I'm glad that you enjoyed this! It was my first attempt at writing Dramione, and I wanted to do it as realistically as possible; it's awesome to hear that you thought there was that sort of intimate connection between them here. If there was ever a time when they might have been a thing, I think HBP would have been a pretty plausible time for them to do it. After all, she took Cormac to Slughorn's because Ron hated him -- who knows how far she might have gone if his relationship with Lavender persisted?

Anyway, enough of me rambling. Thank you for reviewing! ♥ I hope to see you back before too long!

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Review #5, by MidnightBlue_x Ending the Deal

6th January 2013:
I still love that banner, I just- I'm still going to steal it one day while you're sleeping. Don't roll your eyes at me, Rachel, it will happen!

Also, Charles Dickens quote? I'm taking the fact you used that quote as a late Christmas present for myself, it's far too perfect. You really shouldn't have...okay, I'm so glad you did. (It fits the story really nicely too!)

Anyway, I'll stop talking about myself and get to the usual part of my reviews where I just gush about how amazing your writing is. But really, teach me your ways, dear master. This was honestly heartbreaking though, I love it!

Once more, I love you.
x Ely

Author's Response: You'd have to impersonate me to take my banner, Ely! That little 'TenthWeasley' will fool no one. ;) Then again, you make graphics, so perhaps you're one to watch...

Charles Dickens. ♥ You may certainly think of it as a mini-Christmas present to you! I still need to read a bit of Dickens, you know -- never have. But that quote really emphasized all the points I wanted to hit were perfectly summed up in that sentence. Proof positive of why he's a literary genius!

I'm so happy you enjoyed this story, and left me yet ANOTHER wonderful review for it. You're too much, dear. ♥ Thank you so much for giving this a try! You're fantastic!!

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Review #6, by Gabriella Hunter Ending the Deal

4th January 2013:

Its Gabbie here with your requested review and since we've never spoken before (Though you've probably seen me stalking the forums) its very nice to meet you and all that jazz.
So. I actually, despite making a funny blog about the cliche's really enjoy Dramione and I've read at least five million of them when I first got onto this site. Haven't had the time for it lately. :p
Oh, the shame.
But anyway, what a wonderful one-shot! I was able to get sucked into it right away and I loved the heavy emotions that you played on right at the beginning. All sorts of things were brimming in my mind and I thought that there would be some sort of romantic snog-fest or, a confrontation of a different kind. But what I got was a heartbreaking scene of Hermione actually dumping Draco? Erm, that's not exactly what I thought would happen! I was very upset by this because it was obvious to me that she cared about hiim but was too afraid to stay with him. With all that was going on at the time, it was apparent that there would be more than one issue to stop them from being together.
I demand more than just this one-shot, you left me wiht enough story and plot and emotions to create a whole story. And I'd probably fangirl all over the place if you did it! :D
I thought that this was a really good take on Dramione, it was different from the Head Girl/Head Boy sort of plot line and really showed the character's depth. From this, I could actually picture them together, based on the HBP's events and I'm still sort of upset about that ending.
Draco just walked away? Without kissing her passionately or something?! Argh, why am I such a romantic?! D':
I felt so terribly for Hermione but the darker nature of this really flows well with what happened. Ah, it was wonderful. I have no CC's for this, other than the fact that you shouldn't have made it a one-shot and could have you know, gone on forever. Hahhaa.
Thanks for the great read!
Much love,

Author's Response: Very nice to officially meet you as well, Gabbie! I have seen you around, of course, and I know you're a fan of Mel's George/Angelina -- I beta'd the first fifteen chapters of that particular story. :) Thanks so much for taking the time out to read this little story for me!

Like the author's note says, this was my first attempt at Dramione, and it's so awesome to hear that you liked it! I'm not entirely opposed to it, but I like well-written and/or realistic Dramiones, and sometimes my expectations are a bit high for the genre. (That sounds mean, but I'm actually reading a novel-length Dramione right now, if it makes me any less so.) I think "dumping" Draco in Dramiones perhaps doesn't happen too often... not from what I've read, anyway.

I'd love to write a longer story, I think. For this being the first time I attempted this particular pairing, I enjoyed it more than I expected to. :) You'll be the first to know if I try it out! I think HBP, like you said, is probably the most realistic setting of all the canon books for them to get together.

You're so sweet! ♥ I just really have to thank you again for leaving such a lovely review, and I'd love to request again from you in the future for another story. You really made my day!

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Review #7, by Violet Gryfindor Ending the Deal

14th December 2012:
This is excellent! One-shots of this type are wonderful to find, providing shapshots of things that might have happened in the background while Harry (and thus the narrator) were otherwise occupied. From the first line, you set the scene with vivid imagery and a strong sense of atmosphere - the setting of Hogwarts does this to stories when it's described in the right way, and you've captured how it is steeped in history and magic, often of a dark sort. You also include little canon references that enhance the story in a fantastic way. Some authors here forget to include them, yet they're very important in recreating the Potterverse and bringing it to life.

As I told you on the forums, I really like how you've portrayed both Hermione and Draco in a very canon way, revealing how that potential can indeed exist between them, but there's still too much... everything keeping them apart. I'm not a Dramione fan, but I love to see it done well - it takes a lot of talent to make such a relationship seem plausible without sacrificing some aspect of the characters. What makes it work here is the careful choice of circumstances, how Hermione is weakened, uncertain of her relationship with Ron and his family, and Draco is equally on edge. They're both troubled by something in their lives that they have, thus far, relied upon, and you capitalize on this to produce this extraordinary moment. It's a small moment in time, but it could have changed things in a momentous way.

It's interesting to compare this to the scene in the first book when Harry chooses Ron over Draco - Hermione here makes the same decision, but with a difference. There's an emotional connection, if only for a moment - a fragment of sympathy and understanding. I love the idea that she sees something in him that she can connect to, even with the vast ideological differences between them. Draco isn't a "bad" person, nor is he completely married to pureblood ideals - that's what makes JKR's development of his character so brilliant. And you do an amazing job at portraying him with these things in mind. Your version of Hermione is equally amazing.

I could keep going, but I'll leave off by saying that your writing is fantastic. You're among the best writers of this site, and I look forward to seeing which characters, plots, and styles you tackle next. :D

Author's Response: I'm so sorry it's taken me this wrong to respond to this, Susan! Because of the slowing of reviews because of the holiday break, and the break itself, I've gotten a bit lax in my HPFF duties. I'm setting out to correct that now!

Snapshot-esque one-shots are my favorite sort, and it's neat to see that someone else enjoys them too! And it's wonderful to see that you thought this one started out strong. That makes me very happy, especially knowing that this is a Draco/Hermione, which is a pairing I'm not fond of in general and have never tried before this. I feel like most of my stories start off with descriptions of temperature or weather or the like, because sometimes I don't know any other way to segue! :P

Which brings me to my next point, and that's to say how awesome I feel at hearing you think I've kept Draco and Hermione in character. That's one of the reasons I think I'm adverse to the ship: Nine times out of ten, Draco and Hermione in these sorts of stories are very OOC, and I wanted to write a story that was as plausible as possible, while still making the two of them work. Hermione's frustration at Ron's relationship with Lavender, as well as Draco's uncertainty about the task Voldemort set him -- bring those two things together, and it's the one point in the series where both of them are emotionally weakened to the point where something like this might have happened.

I love the comparison between this and the time when Harry chooses Ron over Draco -- I never thought about that! (Poor Draco, always getting slighted in favor of a Weasley. :D) Draco certainly isn't a "bad" person, just as Snape isn't, and Slytherins in general aren't. That stereotype always bugs me.

Your reviews are the best. ♥ I don't even know how to thank you properly for them -- whenever I start, my brain just goes all to mush! I cannot even begin to tell you how much it means to me that you, someone /I/ consider to be among the best HPFF has to offer, thinks that my writing's great. Seriously. I've got the biggest smile on my face right now!

And thanks again for the gorgeous banner -- still can't stop staring at it weeks later!

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Review #8, by firefly910 Ending the Deal

12th December 2012:
You wrote a Dramione! My favoruite fanfic author wrote my OTP!! *flails*

Beyond perfect Jane. Just everything about it. The amount of unwritten Dramione stories I have imagined set around 6th year is huge and you just write this and GAH I just want to hug you! I always imagine that 6th year could have been the time that some form of relationship even if it wasn't romantic.

I really hope you revisit this ship again in the future!

Author's Response: I wrote a Dramione! :D And if it weren't for Erica, this wouldn't have come into existence at all -- so you've got her to thank for it! I'm still stuck on the line about me being your favorite fic author, to be honest. It's things like that, Callie... they're just invaluable!

I'm so, so glad that you liked this, and especially so because I know how much Dramione you read and write yourself. This is the most realistic setting I could come up with for this pairing, and I know it's been done before, but hearing that you think it's good really is huge! I always want my writing to stand out, while at the same time being something that people actually want to read... if that makes any sense at all.

I'd love to try Dramione again, if an idea struck me! It's an interesting ship, and there are admittedly a few canon moments that could be turned into such things in particular lights. ;) Thank you so, so much for such a sweet review! ♥

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Review #9, by slytherinchica08 Ending the Deal

11th December 2012:
Oh here you've got me fangirling all over again! I can see why you won the dobby for most versatile author (not that I couldn't before) but honestly you through any old pairing at you and you can write it like a pro, like you've been reading and writing that pairing for ages! I'm completely in awe with this oneshot and I'm so glad you took the chance on writing this dramione. I agree with you.. this setting is the msot realistic for the two of them to come together (as you probably know from my novel) and I think that you've pulled it off really well!

I loved that it wasn't really a happy ending, at least not for the two of them, but it was still a really sweet ending. The description in this was wonderful, as it always is when you are the author, and the flow was absolutely amazing as well! I loved that you added in the ghosts on patrol because I honestly forgot that they do that since its not mentioned much in fanfiction (or canon really) so it was nice to see you add in that small detail which set apart your oneshot!

Hermione was amazing! The way you portrayed her was done so well and very in canon which as you probably know is a bit hard to do when considering this is a dramione! Not only was Hermione done so well but so was Draco! He was so in character, a little spiteful and cold as he should be, and then the longing and warm actions for the dramione. It's a very hard thing to keep in balance but you have manged it very well in this oneshot!

The one thing I love about reading your work is all the small stuff that you add in that sets it apart from others such as the bit with the ghosts. But then its other small things to remind us of whats going on around them, like mentioning the rough wool of the Weasley sweater, that Draco never changed out of his school uniform, and the way they passed notes to each other!

If you haven't realized by this point in the review that I absolutely love this oneshot, than I dont think I have done my job on gushing about how absolutely amazing this is! I so appreciate this oneshot and that you wanted to do one for me for Christmas! I'm sure that everyone else who reads this oneshot will also be in awe of your abilities to continue to write so many different pairings/characters with perfection! As always you know that I support you in everything that you do! I will be promoting this oneshot on the forums! Great Job and thank you so much!


Author's Response: Gah, Erica! It's going to be so difficult to respond to this review! Bear with me, because I'm going to make a mess of it. ;) I was very happy to write you a story, and I'd been wanting to try my hand at Dramione for ages, so this was really the perfect excuse to get my butt in gear!

I think one of the largest reasons that I can't get behind the Draco/Hermione pairing like other people can is that I'm a very firm adherent to canon... and for some reason, it doesn't seem realistic to me, on the whole. But I am a huge fan of little moments like this, where something might actually have happened, you know? And I knew going into this that I wanted to make this as plausible as possible. I'm so happy you found my characters to be in canon, too! Hermione's at a very brittle point in HBP, just on the brink of admitting feelings for Ron that have otherwise gone unacknowledged; in different ways, Draco's on edge, too. And if they had met at these respective points, it's not too far out to think something might have happened, however minute.

Little details like the ghosts and the in-class notes are some of my favorite things about writing. :) I like throwing in things like that! It provides (I hope) an atmosphere, and it grounds me further into whatever I'm writing, which then makes it easier TO write, if that makes sense.

I'm so, so happy you enjoyed this one-shot -- I was a bit worried, but your comments really have made my entire week! ♥ You are a fantastic friend, Erica, and I truly hope you have a very great holiday season! Love you!!

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Review #10, by a fan Ending the Deal

11th December 2012:
you should keep going with this story...its good
maybe draco and hermione can be a couple

Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed the story! Unfortunately, this is only a one-shot, but I would like to have another crack at Dramione someday. Maybe even in a longer story! I'd never written them before this, and it was a challenge, but a fun one.

Thank you very much for taking the time to leave me a review -- it really does mean a lot! ♥

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