Reading Reviews for Redemption
  
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by miluv Cornered

29th April 2013:
I likeee! But I do think shes recovering a bit too quickly.. I don't think she'd forgive and forget so easily, so maybe draw that out a bit longer? You don't have to listen lol sorry if im being annoying. Love you and update soon!
xox miluv

Author's Response: I'm editing the storyline to try and sort out where it's heading and the pace and everything else- all very long and boring and eurgh! But I'm glad you like it, and should be updating as soon as that is done!

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Review #2, by potterfan310 Cornered

31st March 2013:
Aww bless Lily, at least she was making some progress. Speaking to those she doesn't know.
I'm curious is the guy who jumped at her Jake or Jason?? :/

"Mr Dudley's so much hotter than Zabini!" - For a second I thought is said Dursley not Dudley and I just burst out laughing. And then I realised what it actually said. :D

I like doctor Lupine, she's helping Lily a lot and I think that she may eventually get the truth from Lily about why she does it.

I'm looking forward to the next chapter. I hope that Harry and Ginny come and visit Lily soon.

10/10
-Potterfan310
Soph x

Author's Response: Yeah, I kept on wondering why I did a double take whenever checking this chapter- Dursley, Dudley. I'm glad you like Dr Lupine, and and are still enjoying the story! I think it was Jason who jumped her, not Jake, though the names are all sort of similiar. Thanks for reviewing, it'll be updated soon! :)

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Review #3, by potterfan310 People

11th March 2013:
I really like this chapter, because Lily's getting more mobile and I think she's met the people who will become her friends/boyfriend.

In the first part of this chapter, Lily seems to remind me of Tix from My Mad Fat Diary in the way she's questioned.

I have some CC for this chapter ~
"Everyone stares at me, eyes turning" - I think there was a change of tense here, stares needs to be stared.

"I snort, much to the surprise" - Same here, snort needs to be snorted.

"I digress. Seriously" - I think this is meant to be disagree.

"hair in two plaits by her" - This could just be me but it might make more sense if it was 'down' not 'by' otherwise it could be indicated that her plaits were floating by her shoulders.

"as Luna and her husband Roy" - I'm a canon freak at times, Luna's husband is Rolf :)

"he suddenly leapt across the table until his nose was against mine." - I really love this line. I'm not sure why but I do.

I think it's either going to be the crazy one who jumped at Lily or the boy with black hair will be the one she falls in love with. Hoping it's the crazy one though :)

Glad we got to see more of Lily in this chapter and I hope she is able to get out more in the chapters to come.

-Potterfan310
Soph xx

Author's Response: Thank you. One of my problems is that I have a habit of changing tense, the only thing Word doesn't notice. Can't believe I put Roy, I've always thought of Luna with Rolf and Neville with Hannah (Abbott). It's wonderful to know what you think is going to happen, thank you for still reading and reviewing!

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Review #4, by Bea Isolated

19th February 2013:
Hey, I read the first chapter a while ago and thought it was a one shot. But I couldn't be more happier that I was wrong. I think you capture Lily's emotions so well, and I love the way that you've described Harry's reaction, but I hope he listens to Hermione. I'm looking forward to the family visiting Lily, if they ever do. Please update this soon. It's really different to most fanfics but in such a good way. Thanks!!

Author's Response: Aww thank you. The family will visit, well, some members, but not for a while. I'm so glad you like it, thank you for reading it.

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Review #5, by potterfan310 Isolated

13th February 2013:
I really like this, we get to see more of Lily and she's slowly coming out of her shell.

I'm glad they moved her to a bigger, nicer room and that someone (I'm guessing Ginny or James) thought to bring her, her favourite things.
Perhaps they thought it would bring comfort to her or that they do remember her.

If you're British there's a really good show on E4 at the moment called My Mad Fat Diary. Reading this makes me think of it as it covers mental health issue. It's really good!, try and watch it if you can :D

I really like your Lily and I can't wait to see where you'll go with this. Does she better/worse, does she fall in love with another patient. All these things are whirring round in my mind and I'm really, really curious.

There were a few little spelling errors that can be easy fixed and I know I said this before, but the spacing. Again it can be easily fixed. Maybe invest in a Beta - pop over to the forums to find one :)

10/10
-Potterfan310
Soph xx :D

Author's Response: Thank you! I've heard of the show but can never find the time to watch it, but I'll check to see if it's on replay. Obviously I can't tell you the storyline, but it's great to know that you're so interested. Thank you for still reading!

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