Reading Reviews for The Secret Life of Slytherins
  
27 Reviews Found

Review #1, by patronus_charm Week Two

24th April 2013:
Tag!

Hahah, I loved Pansy’s narration – it was brilliant. I never imagined her to be so funny yet it was so fitting that she was, and I found myself wanting to see more and more of this girl who’s usually depicted so horribly in the books. I really loved how determined she was to get Draco as that fitted with my canon image of her perfectly.

I really liked the girly scenes with her friends too, as they were fun to read and it was nice to see how she interacted with them. I also liked Blaise’s scene as I always imagined him to be a womaniser so yay for another thing fitting my head canon. I really liked the romantic scenes with her and Draco as I would like to think that Draco did care about her, and it was great to see a nicer and more affectionate side to him.

Ah poor Pansy getting treated like that by Draco, I did feel bad for her as you could tell how badly she was hurt. I had an inkling that the person Blaise was talking about was Pansy, so I’m glad to see that my assumptions were proved correct. I liked the scene with her and Blaise and I thought it was well done, as their reactions matched the situation.

I noticed that there were a few tense slip ups at the beginning of this chapter where you fell into present tense so you may want to review those:) I would also perhaps remove the little stars by the days as they proved a little distracting at times.

That was a really great chapter and I really enjoy seeing a different side to the Slytherins!

-Kiana

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Review #2, by Lululuna Week Two

22nd April 2013:
Hi! So I quite liked your first chapter and thought I'd stop by and leave you a lil review on the second. :)

I think the changing of point of view is really working well here. The sections are well balanced and long enough that I'm getting a good feel for each character, and a hint at their inner personalities.

I love how meticulously Pansy is planning her big night with Draco, it's so funny! I was suspicious that they would suggest going by the whomping willow... now that could make for an interesting moment! Although her ending up with Blaise instead was very interesting, and I look forward to the drama that will ensue :P

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Review #3, by Lululuna Week One

22nd April 2013:
Review tag :)

I think Tracey as a narrator is really appealing and relateable. It's sweet how self-conscious she is and how she worries that the boys are laughing at her, as well as blaming herself for her parents' divorce. It's interesting how even though there is a war going on, the family matters are still really heartbreaking.

It's very intriguing how Tracey doesn't quite like her roommates, but wants to be like them and for them to know who she is. I wonder what brought on this change for her? I thought the part about her watching Daphne and Theodore together was very well written, and gave me one of the best insights into Tracey's character. I'm already rooting for her. :)

Theo seems rather nasty, however. Hopefully he gets better, and I hope he doesn't hurt poor Tracey. I'm curious about who Daphne was staring at, and it was definitely an unexpected twist.

The way you've portrayed the Slytherins is just perfect: how they're so concerned with protecting their image, with loyalty, and with possessiveness. I loved how instead of talking about how much he loves Daphne, Theo was saying "she is mine." Overall I think this was a really great start to a first chapter, and I enjoyed it and the character's voice. :)

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Review #4, by patronus_charm Week One

19th April 2013:
Tag!

I really liked the start to the story, it was so nice to see this story focus on Slytherins. I think they get a bad rep a lot of the time, so it was nice to see them being portrayed in a nice way this time around.

I really liked how different Tracey is to the other Slytherins, and it showed how wrong it is how we stereotype this programme. I thought it was interesting how you made her only go along with the Slytherins as it was the right thing to do, not the thing she wants to do.

It made me think about what they really were like and whether they were nice people.

I liked Theo's excerpt too, as it made me feel so bad for Tracey, as he viewed her only slightly above the Gryffindors. It really does show how hard love can be. Then the way he just ignored her, and in the end flirted with Daphne. My heart goes out to you Tracey!

Anyway, this seemed like a great start to the story, and I can see this off in a different direction to most fan fics.

-Kiana :D

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Review #5, by CloakAuror9 Week One

24th January 2013:
Yay! A Slytherin story! ♥

I haven't read a lot of stories about minor Slytherin characters, especially not Tracey Davis. So, I'm interested in how things will play out.

Tracey is in a somewhat-awkward and bad position being a half-blood. She's also caught in-between all the drama, not only in Hogwarts but also in her home as well. Gee, I'm starting to feel kind of bad for her. I just hope that Theo doesn't do anything *that* terrible. She sounds like she really likes him. :

Speaking of Theo, I wonder what he's planning! I mean, it doesn't sound that bad at the moment, but I feel like it's something that will humiliate Tracey. Argh. I wish he wasn't so evil.

Anyway, great job with the story! I can't wait to see what happens next! And I'm sorry for the choppy review. I don't know what's happening to me lately. XD

~Izzy

35th review out of 100

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Review #6, by The Misfit Week Two

20th January 2013:
Hi Erica! I'm here for the review swap! I really like the way you've portrayed Pansy - it's very rare to see her written as a vulnerable and insecure character, so it's incredibly refreshing to see that your interpretation of her is different from what we see in the books - I think some authors forget Harry's view of the Slytherin was flawed in the books, so it's nice to see that you've written them very realistically - even making Pansy have the very flaw that she criticizes Millicent for. XD

This chapter has a very Gossip Girl feel to it, and I have to admit that I'm liking the drama! It's certainly a fresh breath of air compared to the angst that surrounds Hogwarts-era fics. :D

I'd advise you, however, to create some more visual imagery. This chapter has a lot of dialogue and while that's fine, it would be nice to read some more about their surroundings and how people look. I know everyone knows how Draco looks, but what about Daphne? Tracey? Et cetera. I think it would really improve the story. :)

I also noticed that Millicent referred to her boyfriend as "Crabbe" - if they're dating, shouldn't she call him Vincent? I also noticed a slight overlap between your two Saturday Pansy POVs - I'd suggest that you re-read those sections and try and get them to mesh together a little more. Feel free to PM me if you'd me to explain this in more detail. :)

I really like this chapter and I think with a little more editing, it could be really good! You've got a fantastic idea and you're doing really well with portraying teenage Slytherins - this is definitely a very good story! XD

Author's Response: Oh this review has me grinning! I really do love this story and I'm sad that its been so long since I have updated anything for this story as it is a really interesting idea. I'm glad that people are able to get the Gossip Girl feel from this. I will make sure to look into adding more description and smoothing out this chapter a bit when I come back to do some revisions! Thank you so much for the wonderful review! It really made my day!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #7, by aquabluez17 Week Two

19th January 2013:
Hey! It's me again =) Mya from the review tag :D

So I would like to say I really liked how you used 2 different POVs this time.

This is really shaping up to be something like Gossip Girl!! I really liked the end where Pansy went w Blaise. Kind of reminded me of Blair and Chuck and I always did love them a lot :P

Great job overall! I think maybe you could have a chp explainng why Draco said no? Since that seems kinda out of character or maybe he just doesn't like Pansy... haha

Anyways, keep updating!

Author's Response: Aw thank you so much for this wonderful review! I loved Gossip Girl as well and I think of Pansy and Blaise like Chuck and Blair so I'm glad that's coming across in the chapter. The reason that Draco said no will be known later in the story, though it will be a while before its known. Thank you so much for the wonderful review!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #8, by aquabluez17 Week One

19th January 2013:
Hey its Mya from the review tag!

This was amazing! I rele loved the plot though Im not sure who Daphne was staring at...

Author's Response: You will have to read on to find out who she is staring at. Thanks so much for stopping by and reading and reviewing.

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Review #9, by TheHeirOfSlytherin Week Two

19th January 2013:
Now I'm really looking forward to Draco's pov - if he told Blaise he'd been meaning to (which sounds like he thought he had to), then not gone through with it, the reason must be big! What's his secret? ;)

Though, if you're keeping close to canon, we all know that Draco ends with Astoria anyway, so I'm liking Blaise/Pansy - maybe she can stop his womanizing ways. :P Though I loved his reasons and that he makes them stronger, I could really believe that about Blaise.

I love how close Pansy is to the girls, it links with Slytherins being loyal to each other when needed. She definitely needed them. That was lovely to see. Their group hug was an aww moment. :)

Is Pansy Daphne's crush?

Another awesome chapter, I'm adding this to my favorites. :)

Sam.

Author's Response: Gah! This review just gives me so many feels for this story I just want to sit down and continue writing! I do love Pansy and Blaise together but only time will tell if they will be together. Also only time will who Daphne's crush is. And AW thanks so much for adding this to your favorites! Honestly you are part of the reason that I want so badly to continue writing this story! So thank you so much for all your support!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #10, by TheHeirOfSlytherin Week One

19th January 2013:
The Secret Life of Slytherins - a fitting title for the most interesting house. ;)

The more I read, the bigger my intrigue became. Secrets everywhere and there's only been, like, three characters so far. I'm excited and curious and I just need to know what Tracy is hiding - I think I've guessed half of Daphne's. Who she is, however. That is the question. :P

I love that Tracy's crush is on Theo, rather than Draco or Blaise. Everyone should love Theo, that's not just my love for him coming through. I think he's awesome. And I love your characterization of him. He seems like kind of the bad boy type, which is how we Slytherins seem to be seen as, but it suits. I'm so excited to see more of Theo. His want to get revenge was a great touch, I can't wait to see what he does. :D

One of my favorite parts was describing Slytherin House in general; "We are loyal to each other in our own ways; if one Slytherin is taken down we all are, so we protect our own but only when needed." I totally agree. Our traits aren't necessarily bad, like other Houses aren't necessarily good.

Great first chapter, I can't wait to know more!

SamMalfoy.

Author's Response: EEEK! You have no idea how much this makes my day! I'm so glad that this first chapter has been able to catch your interest! The whole point of this story is to be one secret on top of another and all the plot lines interacting with each other. I know I'm a hardcore Tracey/Theo shipper. Yeah I think Slytherin is a very deep house.. one that takes a lot of thought to figure out. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review!

~Slytherinchica08!


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Review #11, by caoty Week One

16th January 2013:
Hey, I'm here from tag. *waves*

So I love minor character Slytherins, especially Tracey Davis, Daphne Greengrass and Theodore Nott. So this looks to be great fun.

I like how you've addressed Tracey's blood status, because the half-bloods of Slytherin - Snape, Voldemort - tend to be outsiders, and that puts her in a unique position. It does, though, feel as if she's been Sorted into the wrong House: maybe I'm reading it wrong, but Tracey doesn't seem as if she has taken the practical route to solving the problem of her isolation, as a Slytherin would. In this introduction at least, she seems to want to try and keep her head down and make friends and get out of Hogwarts alive, which is an attitude that is more suited to Hufflepuff or certain types of Ravenclaw or Remus Lupin IMO.
I don't know. Am I underestimating her? After all, we seem to have caught her at a bad time.

(Also, I really hope we see more Millicent/Crabbe. They seem like such a fun ship.)

Theodore Nott, on the other hand, seems like the quintessential Slytherin - he's manipulative, he knows what he wants and gets it. His personality clashes well with Tracey's, interestingly, and his plans for Tracey promise lots and lots of delicious drama to come.

Also, you get points for lesbian!Daphne. That's always fun to read.

Anyway, good luck with this fic, and happy post-NaNo editing. :D

Author's Response: Yeah Tracey isnt exactly what one would normally consider a Slytherin but I wanted to show that while you may be sorted into a certain house, that doesnt always mean that you are going to follow status quo, think of Peter and how he ended up as a coward and gave up his friends. Tracey probably would be more fitting for another house but yet she does have some slytherin qualities to her. Theo really is the typical slytherin and for him it will be interesting trying to get Tracey. Thanks so much for the review!

~slytherinchica08~


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Review #12, by ScarletEye158 Week One

12th January 2013:
Hey there, I'm here with your requested review! :)

This story seems really interesting and you've got a good plot going here! I've honestly never really read a story centered around Slytherins (I'm a Gryffindor fan) but I actually like it! I liked being able to see Tracey's interpretation of how Slytherins act; especially that they can be passionate with each other, yet know when to control themselves to make sure they look professional. Those little details always make a story a lot stronger and I liked it :)

I feel really bad for Tracey! She seems like the kind of girl who just sort of floats around and doesn't really have anyone to talk to :( Its good that shes more or less civil with her roommates, but then again, since she's a Slytherin and doesn't seem to have many friends in her own house, I can see why shes pretty much alone. The other houses didn't really associate with each other during the time period that she's in :/ You've characterized her very well and I'm really interested to know what the secret is! Is it that her parents are getting divorced? Or maybe that she's a muggleborn? (I'm guessing that she is by some of the clues you gave in the first few paragraphs :D)

I also really liked the characterization of Theo even though we really didn't get to see much of him. He seems to be one of the cunning Slytherins by wanting to get back at Daphne so bad! I'm curious to see how his little plan plays out and I really hope he doesn't hurt Tracey! She likes him so much :(

The flow of the story was pretty good. I liked how you transitioned really easily, but I it seemed to go a little fast from the common room, to her dorm, and then to potions the next morning. Maybe if you added a little more description; like her walking into her dorm room or the walk to her classes it would be a little easier to follow :)

Other than that little part, I really liked it! You've got an interesting plot and characters :) Feel free to re-request, I'll be interested to see where this story goes.

-Amanda

Author's Response: I'm so glad you enjoyed this first chapter of my story! I really wanted to show a different angle on the slytherins and what it might be like to be them! I feel that Slytherins can still be passionate.. after all they are people so I wanted to use this story and show that while they come off as cold when they are around each other, they can be nice. As for Tracey's secret, lets just say that it is going to blow up in her face. I feel bad looking at this now and not having as much for Theo's pov and maybe someday i will come back and expand it a bit. I will also make sure to check out that bit about her being in the common room to her bedroom to potions and try to smooth it down a bit! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing and for the suggestions!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #13, by Pixileanin Week One

5th January 2013:
Tag!

Ooohhh, it's Slytherin treachery time.

I like the way you handled introducing Tracey's character. She has so much drama in her life right now that she's not going to be up to much more than surviving school, and then have Theodore, the guy that she seems to have a crush on, planning to use her to get back at his girlfriend for that "thing" he discovered... it makes for such a strong opening, and such a build up of even. more. drama. Oh goodness.

Both of these characters are most definitely Slytherins to the core. I think I might have to come back for more some time.

Author's Response: Yes this story is all about the drama! Each chapter is going to be more and more drama filled and they should all start flowing together soon! Tracey is in for a rather tough year with her parents going for a divorce, her thinking its her fault, and then to have her crush plan on using her. Not that she knows that of course but it will make for an interesting and drama filled year! Thank you so much for this awesome review and I do hope that you come back and read more!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #14, by slayground Week One

5th January 2013:
Tag :)

I reviewed chapter two earlier, but I never actually reviewed chapter one, so I figured I should do that for you as well XD as I mentioned in my previous review, I do really enjoy this story - again, I'm going to compare it to Gossip Girl for Slytherins, which is never a bad thing! Drama always makes for good reading.

What I really enjoy about this, though, is that it's not all drama - you give your characters life and personality, like Tracy, without just diving straight into the dramatics, which is something that's definitely important. No one wants to read a story where the only element is the drama that's going on; I'm a stickler for characterization, and I think you nailed it really well.

Another chapter that I really enjoyed, and I can't wait to read more!

xx Molly

Author's Response: Gah your reviews have really made my day! Its so amazing for you to say that you love my characterizations and feel that I'm taking this story in the right direction! I'm hoping that the drama doesn't get to be too much as the story continues on as there is lots of drama in store for our eight characters! Thank you so much for coming by and leaving reviews for both chapters of this story, they both meant a lot to me. Gah I'm just in awe of your reviews! Thanks again for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #15, by slayground Week Two

4th January 2013:
Tag!

Ooer, loads of drama in this! It's very fun to read, something that's so purely dramatic - reminds me quite a bit of Gossip Girl, which is never a bad thing. I quite enjoy your characterizations of both Pansy and Blaise in this chapter - it's rare that Pansy is ever portrayed as sweet, and almost a victim, so I really enjoyed seeing her this way.

I do hope you continue - even though drama isn't the lightest of things, I think it's a nice break from all the super over-the-top angsty fics out there, and I would love to read more :) xx

Molly

Author's Response: YAY this reminds you of Gossip Girl! That makes me so happy as thats where this story idea came from! Yes I do have plans to continue this story. I have chapter three and four finished and I've started chapter five. I do hope to start updating this story again soon but I want to make sure that i have time to work on the chapters as well! I'm so glad that you enjoyed this! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #16, by teh tarik Week One

3rd January 2013:
Hello there! I'm from the Review Tag :)

First of all, I'm so happy to read a fic about minor Slytherin characters! Slytherins (especially minor Slytherin characters) in fanfiction are always portrayed as an unpleasant two-dimensional lot, whose sole function of existing within a story is to be hated and be some sort of antagonist.

I love how you wrote your characters of Tracey and Theodore with depth, empathy and detail and made them such convincing and relatable characters. There's Tracey, who has quite a nice touch of vulnerability to her characterisation, and who is an outsider even in her own House and among her own roomates/classmates. You've written her sense of inferiority, and lack of confidence very well, and yet you've also given her a sense of direction and determination; Tracey yearns to be accepted and loved by her classmates. In contrast, Theodore seems to have more "traditional" Slytherin character traits; I think as a character he is scheming and cunning and manipulative and rather arrogant as well. There are also hints of jealousy and possessiveness of Daphne in his characterisation. You've done a great job in getting into the mind of a flawed character.

I think your story flows very well, and the voices of both Theodore and Tracey are very strong and well-differentiated from each other. Both POVs contrast each other nicely.

OK, well, I think this is a fantastic start! I'm keen to read more of your story and I'll probably come by again soon :) Great work!

-teh

Author's Response: Teh you don't know how happy you've made me with this review! With this story, I wanted to show another side to being Slytherins. I think that it would be really hard to be them. To always have to put on a face for other people so that was my concept for this story, along with gossip girl. Wow your thoughts on my characterizations of Tracey and Theo are just amazing! I can't believe you think i've got them pretty spot on! Thank you so much for this amazing review!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #17, by Jchrissy Week One

2nd January 2013:
Hi darling! Here for tag!

This is definitely something new for me! Not only have i never read a story from either of these characters PoV, but the fact that it shows a lesser known, 'weak' link of the Slytherin house is very interesting!

I liked the way you started it on the train but not joining in with Hogwarts express sort of fun. Instead she's very stuck in her own thoughts about what her parents are going through, her part in it... I'm curious as to if that divorce will come back into play...

I really liked the small changes you made to kind of show off that she is a Slytherin. I believe I've usually read the trolly lady descriptive as sweet, so having her described as haggard was really a reminder that, thought Tracey is different, she's still not a kind, optimistic Hufflepuff or anything. Small things like that were throughout the story and really enhanced it!

The switch to Theo was done well, and I think you did an excellent job at making the characters have very different narrative voices. I have ideas of what he may have seen.. Daphne may possibly be into the same sex, and is trying to cover that up... her and Theo have some sort of 'I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine' deal going on? But now if others noticed Daphne staring at a girl, that would be quite embarrassing for Theo... hmm... am I right?!

This was a smooth read and really opened up a lot of questions! Which is perfect for a first chapter!

Author's Response: Aw this review has given me feels! While this first chapter deals with lesser known Slytherins, the story does deal with 8 different povs so some are well known like draco and pansy and others are like Tracey and Theo. The divorce does come back into play in later chapters, I think each chapter that has Tracey as the main character will show how the divorce is changing her and her thoughts, at least hopefully it will. I'm so glad you noticed those small things like using the word haggard in the descriptions. It really is more what Tracey is because she is kind of a shy girl which is not exactly a Slytherin trait but she has more the mind of a Slytherin than actions of one. Well you might be right about Daphne and her feelings, but I guess the only way to really find out whats going on would to be to read more! I'm so glad you enjoyed this chapter and I do hope you'll come back and read more! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #18, by EverDiggory Week One

1st January 2013:
I was just reminded by your beta request that I owed you a review on this! Whats terrible is I read this when it was still brand spanking new and just kept not having enough time to review it.

I, obviousy, love anything to do with slytherins so naturally I was ecstatic to read this!

I'm not sure what I think about Tracey yet. She isn't unlikeable but I haven't quite made a connection to her, but I think this is perhaps because we're night and day.

Whatever is between Theo and Daphne is seriously intense! I wasn't quite sure what exactly what happened though. Somethings obviously up with Daphne...but what? For whatever reason I thought that he was implying that she was lesbian...but I don't think thats right at all because of the, possibly mistaken, line that had something to do with last night;) But I'm not sure whats up really, but Daphne might want to watch her back because Theo sounds like her just might humiliate her.

Greatjob Erica:DDD

xx

Ever

Author's Response: Ever! I'm so excited to see a review from you! Even more so now that you aren't going to be on as much as you used to! Yes Theo is upset and he'll do whatever it takes to get back at Daphne, even something that would include using a fellow Slytherin! Gah I can't believe how long its been since I've updated this story and responding to all these reviews really makes me want to go back and continue writing- which I will do at some time as I'm focusing on Life As We Know It at the moment. Thank you so much for this awesome review though! It really means a lot to me!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #19, by Violet Gryfindor Week One

1st January 2013:
You have a good start to this story here! It's exciting when authors take on the minor characters and give the "other Slytherins" more depth. There's so much you can do with them, and I think by doing some work to improve the structure and style, you definitely give the characters the kind of spotlight they deserve.

It was refreshing to look into the lives of lesser-known Slytherins, and both Tracey and Theodore are excellent choices. I would have especially liked to hear more from Theodore because there was a real imbalance between the two characters - we hear a lot of details of Tracey's life, but only a snippet of Theodore that's directly related to the scene. If you are willing to do some major structural work, you might want to consider limiting each chapter to a single POV - that way, you eliminate confusion and maximize each character's role as narrator. I actually liked Theodore's narration better - he had an interesting voice, harsher and more to the point. He noticed things in a different way, and I wonder what he saw Daphne do - it put an intriguing slant on things to hear that their relationship was only for show, and it would be wonderful to learn more about Theodore's motives and backstory to better understand where he stands in all of this.

One thing that I see other reviewers haven't mentioned too much are the inconsistencies of Tracey's narration. At times, she sounds very formal in her thought patterns, at times making her wordy, then you slip in slang phrases like "I was on autopilot". If she's going to have a certain speech pattern, be it formal or informal, try to stick with one or the other, and also make it suit her personality and background.

Definitely keep going with this story because the characterizations and premise are well-worth it. I'm interested to see where you'll take this story next. :)

Author's Response: Hello Violet! First off just let me say thanks for this awesome review! It really means a lot to me! I'm so glad that you think this is a good start! I will look at trying to add in more for Theo's pov but if I were to make each pov its own chapter, that would take my chapter count to well over 100 and I think that would make it a bit excessive. For this story I have 8 main characters and in each chapter 2 povs will be shown. I will also try to make sure that everything is all in one voice. I'm glad you enjoyed this though and can see potential in it! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #20, by Cleopatraa Week One

11th December 2012:
I thought this was great. It was nice to see a side of Slytherin I almost never see. Them being not perfect, death eaters or abused. Them being normal kids with problems, insecurities and such. Yet it was still Slytherinish. Calculated and not showing any weaknesses. Poor Tracey! She must feel gutted to see Theodore kiss Daphne. I liked the fact she wanted to become someone. She is a rather likeable character. Though is Daphne by chance a lesbian? If that is the case it would surely ruin her. Overall a great beginning to a story!

Author's Response: With this story I really just want to show another side of Slytherins. They weren't all death eaters, and I'm sure other than those things they had other real life problems on their shoulders so I wanted to show them in a different light without touching on the death eaters or the war. I'm glad you liked Tracey, I wanted her to be liked by everyone even though she is an unknown character really! Thanks so much for taking the time to read and review!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #21, by UnluckyStar57 Week One

10th December 2012:
This is an interesting beginning!!

I like the idea of getting inside the Slytherin common room to see what really goes on. It seems like a pretty fun, original idea, from what I can tell. :)

The little twist with Daphne and Theodore was really interesting, but I do have one suggestion: Do you think you could try slipping Tracey's name in the part with her PoV? I was a bit confused when it switched from her to Theodore, because I didn't know her name yet.

And oh, by the way, I'm glad you've shipped your OC with Nott rather than Draco. He kind of gets old, and Nott isn't really explored much.

Awesome beginning!!

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Original, YAY! That just makes my day! Its always awesome to have someone say that they think your story is original! Yeah I've had a few people mention that the change in pov was confusing so if I haven't already i will be going back in to add that to help. Tracey isn't so much an OC, she's a character that is on the list J.K flashed during an interview but is never mentioned in the series. This story is going to have a bunch of POVs and pairings so hopefully it wont get too confusing when it comes down to it. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #22, by notreallyblonde44 Week One

10th December 2012:
Hey slytherinchica08! Ellie here to review you back for the review swap. Thanks for your lovely review btw, hope to reply to it soon~

One of the best features of this story is the fact that you are focusing on Slytherin. Here, here to our house! I always love dynamic representations of Slytherins and the inner-house dynamics that no one gets to see because Harry Potter is told from a (biased) Gryffindor's perspective. So I love your initial setup already and when you touched upon the fact that they protected each other in an odd way that may not make sense to most. The have to uphold the best interest of their house, their families, and then themselves. Their tradition and legacy is what makes them powerful and gives them purpose.

Well, all but Tracey (yay for using an underrated canon character as your MC!!!). I assume you went the canon route and she's a half-blood who's parents separated because of the strain magic created in their lives, yes? And I assume her blood line is what she's trying to keep secret or just the divorce? As a child of divorce I feel for Tracey's situation; however, I think there needs to be a tangible reason that the reader can understand for why Tracey thinks she is the cause. If Tracey was younger, oh say under 13, then yeah everyone thinks everything is their fault then. But I assumed she was older and even older teenagers although they made still be ego, ego, ego would probably think of other reasons why their parents got divorced. However, this detail begs the question how old/what year are they in?

& The obvious question: will the war play a role? These are the things I'm curious about and want to learn more of ;)

I liked the shift in POV to Theo. The flow was really nice and you showed the reader you can do dialogue and action, which was a lovely change of pace. And the plot twist at the end definitely was a great way to hook your reader into the rest of your story! You want to know what's going to happen. How Theo is going to use Tracey? How Tracey is going to react, if at all, to Theo's pursuits? What about Daphne? Will she come out? All betrayal, intrigue, and scandal from here, which is awesome! *cackles* Hope for more action and showing in the rest of the story, as well as watching the chaos as the Slytherins protect their secrets and livelihood. Nifty plot, solid characters.

Cheers dear,
xx Ellie

Author's Response: YAY! This is just such a wonderful review and its left me with all of these feels! I'm so glad that you enjoyed the story and where i'm going with it! I love the slytherins and wanted to show a different side of them, one that not many people would get to see! Plus I got addicted to Gossip Girl and wanted a way to use that in the HP world and this was the result! So many questions! The only way you will find out what will be happening is if you continue to read on! Thank you so much for the wonderful review!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #23, by Cirque Du Freak Week One

8th December 2012:
This was so interesting to read!

I felt like Tracey was telling the reader a lot about herself though, it was a bit mechanical, if you get what I mean. The first chapter doesn't necessarily have to be the be all and end all of the story - take your time, make your audience dance around and kept on their toes so they naturally lurch forward for more. You can always show flashbacks with conversations and let the reader make their mind up of whats happening. You have lots to work with and enough potential. :)

I liked the change of POV - it seemed like you enjoyed writing Theo a lot more, I felt like that particular section was very easy to read and flowed really well. You just need to make sure that its like that for the whole chapter!

Lots of brilliant potential and, really, I look forward to reading the next chapter when its out. :D

Author's Response: Hey thanks so much for the review! I do have a beta now for this story so hopefully they will be able to help me make the whole thing flow and read easily. The hardest part is that I have so many main characters so its hard to know what the information can get to be too much. I'm really glad that you enjoyed reading this and I do hope that you continue to read! Thanks for taking the time to read and review!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #24, by Beem Week One

8th December 2012:
enjoying the story so far, please carry on :)

Author's Response: Aw thank you so much! I'm very glad that you are enjoying it! Chapter two will be posted on Friday! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #25, by The Misfit Week One

8th December 2012:
Hi there, it's apondinabluebox from the forums repaying you for your lovely review! :D

You have a good start to your story! I'm liking Tracey so far; it's unusual in a good way to see a Slytherin who doesn't actually fit in with the others, while supposedly still maintaining the pureblood beliefs of the House. I have to ask: is Tracey Muggle-born or half-blood? The reason I'm wondering is because Tracey's Hogwarts letter caused the constant arguments between her parents, at least that's what she believes. You don't mention what they're arguing about, so I assume Tracey's magical ability, although I might very well be wrong. In addition, she does mention concealing a secret from her fellow Slytherins, but again, she doesn't mention what. Ahh I want to know! :P

I would advise possibly reducing the amount of information you provide in the first few paragraphs, as there is a lot to absorb in one go, especially when it isn't broken up by dialogue or action or in the parts where it is, that dialogue / action is minimal. I would also recommend putting the name of the person's POV at the top of each POV change, as I very nearly missed the switch to Theodore's POV.

I loved your paragraph about the Slytherins protecting each other even though they don't show it, and that's a nice touch in my opinion. This sentence: "As a matter of fact, I would say that even some Gryffindor’s knew more information about my roommates than I did..." was priceless! :D

And I'm liking the plot so far. This Theodore/Tracey/Daphne love triangle is intriguing and I look forward to seeing how it develops. I would say that this chapter is a very promising start to the story! :D

Author's Response: yes the whole point of this story is that they each have something they want to protect or do and you will only find out as the story continues! So you must read on to find out if she is muggleborn halfblood or pureblood! I will take a look into the amount of information but the only problem is that I have 8 main characters and 2 povs for each chapter so i think there is only going to be a total of 8 chapters in each persons pov so i need to make sure that i've set up that person and their story well so i can continue on. I will be adding in the names before the sections of pov changes to help people. I had meant to add them in and then forgot to too so I will make sure to do that soon! probably on friday when i add the new chapter! I'm so glad that everyone is enjoying that bit about the slytherins! yes the Theo/Tracey/Daphne is rather interesting though if you continue to read you will find out it gets even worse! though I can say that Tracey is not Daphne's love interest. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


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