Reading Reviews for Ava
13 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Madeleine1918 Ava

23rd May 2013:
Aw! Made my day! Not too cheesy!

 Report Review

Review #2, by TheHistoryGirl Ava

21st April 2013:
Hey there, THG from the forums here for the review tag.

This immediately stuck out to me when I clicked on your authors page purely due to the fact that this is a Seamus/OC which I've never had the pleasure of reading before. It's difficult to imagine an appropriate match for him because I've never heard of him being in a relationship with any of the other characters so it was interesting to read about Ava.

As this is a one shot your characterisation of an OC is extremely important and most people never succeed in getting it right. They're always so one dimensional and never completely explored but luckily you haven't fallen into this trap. The thing that I personally liked about Ava and that struck me as realistic was the way that you kept me guessing about whether or not she felt the same way about Seamus. Her constant interrupting and unwillingness to listen to anything that he had to say made her seem quite selfish or perhaps even reluctant to hear him propose. The way that this was directly contrasted with her emotional reaction to his proposal immediately made me question my initial judgements and gave her a new dimension that is necessary for a realistic OC so well done.

Your characterisation of both Dean and Seamus was very well done; I particularly like the way that you displayed their friendship in such few sentences. I'll admit as much as I despise slash I've always considered the prospect of them being a ship to be an exception so I like that you made me enjoy an alternative suitor for Seamus.

Your writing was for the most part very good. My only criticism would be about the opening. It's a rather wordy paragraph that might flow better if you divided it into two separate sentences. By this I mean the second paragraph after the one liner. Perhaps you could change it to this:
" Bollocks," he muttered to himself, carefully setting the china cup down on his bedside cabinet and unbuttoning the shirt with fumbling fingers. Every so often he looked out the window and into the cloudless blue sky." >>> I just think that this would flow better because there's too much going on and whilst some of it can be classed as preterite others bits are imperfect and grammatically it just doesn't sound correct.

Overall this was such a lovely story though. The entire concept was heart-warming and I loved that there was a happy ending. I also enjoyed the small bits of humour that you added in here and there. They were very appropriately placed. The waiter for example and Seamus's attitude towards him definitely got a giggle out of me and the fact that Ava seemed oblivious to this made it even funnier. I've come to the conclusion that describing her as unobservant would be more appropriate than describing her as selfish, but then again that's just my interpretation of her, I'd love to hear your thoughts on Ava as well. She's quite intriguing.

A lovely one shot.


 Report Review

Review #3, by Bobby Dazzler Ava

1st March 2013:
Lol, I feel like cheeseball now... That was cute Courtney, I too love Seamus :)

I liked how it showed life beyond Hogwarts for him and Dean which was easier to connect back to how they would've got to that stage from school. Seamus being a bartender was great after his fondness for trying to make his own alcohol with magic. And referring to him and the past explosions, classic. I would've loved it though if you went into Ava's background more, as to how they met or what she was like at school, or what she did before her job at the ministry, or even how they met. I think her character could've been developed a lot more to try and build her up and make us as readers understand more why Seamus wanted to marry her, and how they fell in love.

I can't say I liked the gangster inclusion in this, it kinda stuck out like a sore thumb to me, but aside from that, I think it was well written and entertaining. I could feel Seamus' awkwardness. I was expecting the other patrons of the cafe to have clapped or been involved in the ending after him shouting his proposal and obviously being aware of the situation. That aspect of it kind of went quiet and was incomplete.

I think it was cute enough, not a cheeseball, but I would've liked it if Ava's character and their history together was explained a little more, as they're about to spend the rest of their lives together... Nice work :)

Author's Response: Hehehe, yep, this is definitely the fluffiest thing I have ever written!

Thanks for the lovely review!

 Report Review

Review #4, by Kristina1990 Ava

28th January 2013:
Aw, so cute! It's nice to read something about the minor characters once in a while, ESPECIALLY when it's cheesy and adorable!

Great job!

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the lovely review!

 Report Review

Review #5, by 800 words of heaven Ava

16th January 2013:

OMG I LOVE CHEESE SO MUCH! This was really cute and really sweet and really... OMG Seamus is just so Irish, with his thinking of "manly" drinks and all that!

Whilst your story was awesome, what I enjoyed the most were the little things - the description of the owl landing, the mirror that yelled at you, the waiter's piercings... I thought they really lended some fullness to the story, just fleshing it out and adding those little touches that made it even more uniquely your story.

What a lovely read!

Author's Response: Hey there! I'm glad you enjoyed the story, I really like writing it!

Thanks so much for the review.

 Report Review

Review #6, by slytherinchica08 Ava

3rd January 2013:
OH this was really sweet! I loved reading this from Seamus' pov as there really aren't that many stories that have him as the main character. I love how you also stuck to canon with him, the fact that things tend to blow up aroudn him, and he isn't always the neatest (as shown in HP 5 when Umbridge walks past and does a spell to tuck his shirt in). It was very nice to see you add your own bits to him but yet still keep him to how we know him. Ava seemed great as well! She was really funny and I felt so bad for Seamus trying to propose to her but yet she is a chatter box and just can't stop going. Poor guy, though he did finally get to propose and she said yes! I thought this oneshot was really well done and enjoyed it! Great Job!


Author's Response: Aw, thank you for the lovely review! I really enjoyed writing this, so it's great to hear positive feedback!
I'm so glad you liked my characterization of Seamus-he was so fun to write about, so I'm glad it turned out alright.
Thanks for reading!

 Report Review

Review #7, by TheHeirOfSlytherin Ava

27th December 2012:
So glad I decided to read this. So many happy feels right now. It just seemed like a Seamus thing to do - for his plans to, figuratively, blow up his face. Only this time, it worked out. And he was able to get Ava to stop talking and ask again.

It was so sweet and I now have more love for Seamus. Loved this.


Author's Response: I'm glad you decided to read it to! And I'm really glad you liked it-thank you so much for the review, it means a lot.

 Report Review

Review #8, by Niclovegood Ava

17th December 2012:
It was so not cheesy!
It was so well writen!

I have to say, I love how 'Keep calm and carry on' Ava is, she isn't the perfect girl with manicured hands or wears flashy clothes, she's NORMAL and in the same way SPECIAL.

This is such a lovely story, well done... Your characters are original and you have their traits down so well I feel like I could tell you their fav. colours!

Great, lovely, mild cheese... :D haha

Author's Response: Hello there!!
Aw, thank you so much, it means a lot! I loved writing Ava, so I'm glad you liked her.

 Report Review

Review #9, by adluvshp Ava

16th December 2012:

Aw this was so cute and sweet. I really enjoyed reading this. You wrote Seamus quite well, and I liked how you crafted Ava's character. The whole story flowed very well, and made for a smooth read. I liked the way it went all sort of "wrong" but was right at the same time - what with Seamus blurting out the proposal like that, haha.

It was a little cheesy, but hey it was really sweet. I really liked this. Good work!


Author's Response: Hi there!
I'm so happy you enjoyed reading this-Seamus is one of my favourite characters!
Haha, I know it was VERY cheesy, but hey-what's life without a little cheese?
Anyway, thank you for the review!

 Report Review

Review #10, by Toujours Padfoot Ava

7th December 2012:
Awww, this is such a sweet story! I haven't read many Seamus stories, but whenever I do I always find him to be a really charming, devilishly-sweet sort. Ava's perfect for him. :)

I liked Ava, babbler that she is, talking a mile a minute while poor Seamus is trying to propose! XD I really felt for Seamus there, not only vying for Ava's attention amidst the news of her new job and all the other stuff she wanted to ramble about, but meanwhile there is a guy Ava called 'hot' standing not too far away; it would make the extremely vulnerable act of proposing marriage even more nerve-wracking to have an audience like him, especially when he was so obviously into Ava. I did a little cheer when Ava said yes to Seamus and they kissed right then and there. I hope that nosy waiter saw it! Rude man, trying to interfere in true love.

And the way that he proposed, by positively screaming it, was so funny! He was so frustrated and Ava was just chattering on, and here he was with his life savings in his pocket, ready to confess his heart. ♥

I love fluffy stories, so this one really made me smile. :) I enjoyed it very much!

Author's Response: Aw, thanks for the awesome review! I'm all bright and shining and happy now!
There aren't a lot of Seamus stories out there, but he's always been one of my favourite characters, and I couldn't resist the chance to write him!
I also enjoyed writing Ava, so I'm glad you like her-and she is absolutely a babbler!
I'm so glad this story made you smile! Thanks again for the review.

 Report Review

Review #11, by LovlyRita Ava

7th December 2012:
Oh my goodness, what a lovely story! It is so nice to see a story that is focused on Seamus and his life, I feel like there aren't a lot of those out there.

This was beautifully written, the flow and the pace were perfect, and your descriptions were spot on. I loved the emotion in this piece as well, the way that Seamus waits for the letter, and then has to wait and wait to ask the question. It was very humorously done too, which can be difficult in fluffy pieces to pull off correctly without seeming gratuitous, but this was very artfully done.

And Ava is so typical of a young woman, just talking constantly about whatever comes to her mind, not paying total attention to the...ahem...issue at hand. Poor Seamus didn't get the words out the way he wanted but it had the same effect anyway!

Of course the adult in me died a little when I saw he had bought a ring he couldn't afford, I'm like no! But, then, I do understand how those things go :)

Overall I think this piece was brilliantly written and I really enjoyed it :)


Author's Response: Thank you so much for the amazing review! Your comments are making me blush:)
Seamus has always been one of my favourite characters and I thought that he needed a bit of love.
Oh Seamus, and the very expensive ring! Somehow, I can just imagine him buying something he can't afford.
I'm glad you enjoyed it, it means a lot!

 Report Review

Review #12, by marinahill Ava

7th December 2012:
This was so amazingly cute! I was really impressed by how much of a rapport you created between Seamus and Ava in such a short space of time. I really felt like they had a real connection. You built up their characters bit by bit, but not directly - I learnt more about them from the way they spoke, they way they interacted with one another and also small bits about their appearance, like Ava's chewed nails.

You had a great balance between dialogue and narrative. I liked all the little details you included about their surroundings, like the other people in the coffee shop and then the way the waiter kept interrupting Seamus at important moments. The scene was set really well and subtly without too much heavy description, which meant you didn't weight the tone down either, which was perfect for a fluff piece.

I really enjoyed it, great job! Merry Christmas :)

Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much!
I'm really glaf you enjoyed it-I've never really written fluff before, and I know this was a bit cheesy so it means a lot!
Merry christmas to you, too.

 Report Review

Review #13, by shadowycorner Ava

6th December 2012:
Hello, here for the Christmas review swap :) First let me just point out little things.

if his education had Hogwarts had been any proof I think you meant AT Hogwarts?

He watched as Seamus carefully opened the lid of the box According to the context, Dean was supposed to be opening the box since he took it into his hand a second before.

And now onto the review! I think it was very sweet and it doesn't really matter if a little cheesy. A bit of cheesiness from time to time won't kill anyone and nice moments like this shouldn't be shunned away because of this. I liked what you did with Seamus here. I don't read much about him, so this was interesting for him, you really gave us a nice image of his character. I also liked the inclusion of Dean and the way you described him -melts- Also, it's so true that being grown-up can be so lousy sometimes, as opposed to the carefree Hogwarts days. I can so relate to Seamus in this.

As for Ava, well...I could completely understand Seamus' frustration. Her behavior would drive me mad in a moment like that, but even if she seemed a little too ditzy at first, in the end I really believed she loves Seamus just as much as he loves her and it added a very lovely feel to the story. Thank you for making me smile. :) This was great.


Author's Response: Thanks for the review!
Oh my goodness, thank you so much for pointing out those errors! I always seem to miss things like that, no matter how many times I read over a chapter! I'll be sure to fix them up right away:)
Haha, Seamus is one of my favourite characters and I really wanted to write something about him, though not necessarily a whole novel! I haven't read a lot of Seamus pairings out of there and wanted to give it a shot!
Thank you for reviewing!

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login