Reading Reviews for Alienation Beyond Measure
  
35 Reviews Found

Review #1, by lindslo2012 Secrets out and secret plans

2nd June 2014:
Hi there!
Boy this was a good chapter.
I had felt bad for Hugo a good part of it though because I hate that he is going through what he is... trying to find out if he can do magic or not, trying to fit in with his family and with his new house that no one else in his family is in. And I want to know more about this music he is hearing! I want to know the meaning of it and I can't wait to read more.
I really like his friend Eliana, she is a sweetheart for sticking by his side despite what people say about him. And Lily is a good cousin for sticking by his side too but she is a bit dramatic though aren't all young girls?
Well I was over the moon when I read that he actually did something with magic! So now I think he will feel a lot better about himself now. I can't wait to read more! Good job on another good chapter!!! Come back and re-request!
Until next time,
-Lindsey

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Review #2, by lindslo2012 Creatures and friendship

10th April 2014:
Hi there!
Here for your requested review! It had been awhile.
Sorry for the wait!

Now let's get to the good stuff;)
I loved this chapter as I have all your others.
Just like in the other member's reviews my favorite part of the chapter was his growing relationship Eliana! She seems like such a sweet girl and that she is also going to be a nice, strong friend for Hugo to have among some of the others he has made. I think she is going to be my favorite friend!
I also liked how they went down to visit Hagrid. Good ol' Hagrid still needs visits! ;) He is getting old and all by now I am sure but I bet he is still just as awesome as he was when Hugo's father started Hogwarts. :)
I liked how Hagrid still shows the same enthusiasm about his animals.
I thought the end of the chapter was cute how it ended with Eliana and Hugo. I hope their relationship grows close!
I did not see any errors in the chapter and I enjoyed it just like the others!
I hope you come back for more soon. :)
-Lindsey

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Review #3, by MargaretLane Explanations and acceptation

30th March 2014:
Yikes, changing a kitten into a matchbox sounds like a hard spell for first years. The two things have nothing in common. Hope Hugo manages it.

When the teacher says, "Miss Davies", the miss should have a capital "M".

You've left the "M" off "Mister" when the professor says Hugo isn't staying for the class.

*cheers for the professor letting him practice in private*

You've written "off course" when the eagle is telling Hugo it gives different riddles to different people.

And I like the idea that it gives different riddles to adults and younger students as they see things differently.

You've spelled voluntarily as "volontarily" when Roxanne is talking about poisoning Slughorn.

Hmm, I wonder if the younger Slytherins being so mean is indicative of something or if it is just, as Rose said, that the Death Eaters' kids are starting to have kids of their own at that point and those are more likely to have nasty views. Hmm.

*grins at Rose and Dominique getting protective of Hugo and planning to make sure his housemates treat him a little better* Fair play to them.

You've given "Tuesday" a small "t" at one point in this chapter.

And you've written "Hugo din't feel safe" instead of "didn't feel safe".

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Review #4, by MargaretLane Secrets out and secret plans

30th March 2014:
Again, you've spelled "control" as "controle".

And hmm, this is interesting about Eliana. I didn't expect anything like that. I expected it to be a teacher if it wasn't Lily.

There should only be a comma after speech when what comes next is part of the same sentence, like if it's "said x" or something. If the next thing is something like "x smiled", it should be a new sentence.

This is very nitpicky, but I think you've used the characters names a little more than necessary here. When Hugo is talking to Eliana or Lily, there is only one boy and one girl in each conversation, so saying "he said" or "she said" makes it perfectly clear to us who is speaking.

The area isn't on the map. Hmm, that is interesting. I don't know what is going on here, but it's intriguing.

*grins at Lily trying to get somebody figured out before their older siblings* It must be really hard for the younger members of the Weasley clan with so many older siblings and cousins and aunts and uncles to live up to. Just being the son or daughter of Harry or Hermione would be hard enough, without having siblings ahead of you as well.

"Beckoned" only has one "n".

Yikes, that comment by Lily about him not being able to do magic must have hurt, although she clearly didn't intend it to. Poor Hugo.

When Hugo is debating whether or not to tell his cousins what is going on, you've written "he dind't" instead of "he didn't."

Aw, that paragraph about Hugo crying in his bed is so sad. You really captured his emotions well. Poor kid. I really hope he gets things sorted out soon and his magic improves. Some of the kids in his year are such bullies.

A couple of first years walking into the forest REALLY isn't a good idea. *sighs* Especially when one of them is a Muggleborn and the other is having difficulty with magic. Neither is in the best position to protect themselves and she probably wouldn't even know what she needs to protect herself from.

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Review #5, by MargaretLane Explosions and expulsions

30th March 2014:
Yikes, I've sort of forgotten what was going on in this story. Will have to try and catch up.

Aw, I don't think it's really fair to punish Hugo for that, since he didn't intend to do it. He's certainly proven he's not a squib though. In rather dramatic fashion.

"She blushed slightly at her mistake" should have a capital letter on the first "s" of the sentence and a full stop before it. You also spelled "slightly" as "shlightly".

*laughs* Your James sounds rather like mine, who was boasting to his parents and sibling about how many detentions he'd received.

I like the way you have Rose getting so many detentions. A lot of stories portray her as being just like Hermione, which there's nothing wrong with, but it's nice to see a different version.

Aw, poor Hugo. How hard must it be going through every day getting a headache. And yeah, if his parents don't understand, I can understand why he's worried about telling anybody else. Poor kid.

*laughs at Slughorn telling Hugo how like his parents he is when he gets in trouble* That is SO typical of him.

*also laughs at Slughorn claiming he and Ron are friends when Ron is like "oh God, not Slughorn"*

You've spelled "proving" as "prooving" when Hugo is thinking about how the hat was right to put him in Ravenclaw.

Hmm, I think there's a mystery about this corridor.

You've also had Hugo saying "he lectured me about keeping controle of my emotions". There shouldn't be a "e" at the end of "control."

*laughs at Lily practically shouting in class* I'm surprised Professor Longbottom didn't tell her off.

"Professor" should have a capital "P" when it goes before somebody's name, like when they are talking about Professor Longbottom or Professor Flitwick.

Hmm, I wonder what the other matter Flitwick has to take care of it. It's possible it's not relevant and you just need the meeting to end quickly, but it's also possible it's someway connected with that mysterious corridor or that something else is happening at Hogwarts.

Uh oh, I didn't expect Hugo to walk into those Slytherins so quickly.

In your final paragraph, you've spelled "thought" as "tought".

Yikes, I assumed the hand was Lily pulling him under the Invisibility Cloak, but it doesn't sound like that now. *is intrigued*

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Review #6, by Infinityx Sortings and surprises

8th March 2014:
Hello Akussa! I'm here for the review you requested!

Honestly, I get a teeny bit disheartened when I have to read a Next Gen fic, and one with chapters over 5k words as well. Usually I find such chapters just dragging on without proper flow. But I must say, it was a wonderful surprise to read yours! I loved this first chapter. The flow was excellent and I didn't feel like skimming through or skipping any section. In fact, I didn't want it to end! It was wonderfully written. :)

I love how you've brought in the element of mystery from the very beginning. It wasn't just a goodbye, getting on the train scene. The descriptions were brilliant. Those details about the surroundings, Hugo's thoughts and actions in contrast to Lily's...they all gave so much insight into the type of person Hugo is. I love the way you've characterized him here!

That melody! I am dying out of curiosity. Dying, I tell you! What is it?! And something only he can hear. :o I think the narrative about how Hugo hid it from his mum after her reaction the first time he told her was a wonderful detail to add. It's so like Hermione to react that way and I think that adding such details and not focusing on just the main characters really makes the story well-rounded and interesting to read. Good job there!

Hahaha! I love that part about George's code! It's great that his mischievous side is still present after Fred's death. Once again, lovely bit of detail. :)

"once you are Sorted in Gryffindor, you'll have the time of your life." It's really sad that there's so much expectation that Hugo has to be in Gryffindor. His dad is so certain that he'll be in that house as well. Poor Hugo. I wonder how Ron will react once he gets to know that his son isn't in that house.

I like how you've characterized Rose as well. In most fics, she's a 'Claw. It's refreshing to see this side of her. She's got her mother's brains as well as the Weasleys' love for mischief. I'm extremely interested to see how her character will progress.

Ohmygosh! I love that bit about the howler! :D

Hugo gave his father a hug that was so strong and so loving...
His boy was so quiet...
Here you've repeated the word 'so' in front of the adjectives. I suggest that you try to find a different word that wouldn't require the use of 'so'. Using it repeatedly within the same paragraph interrupts the flow a bit. Maybe you could keep one as it is, remove one of the 'so's, and replace the third one with a different word? This is just my opinion and a suggestion so feel free to ignore it if you don't agree. :)

That conversation between Al and Hugo must have been kind of weird and awkward for Hugo. I think it was really sweet of Albus to let Hugo know that he has at least one person definitely supporting him if he ends up in a different house.

Oh my, that melody again! The suspense is killing me, seriously! I am definitely reading on and finding out what the deal is!

Hugo getting sorted into Ravenclaw was a wonderful twist! He didn't think he was suitable for the house himself, so I wonder what the hat's motives were. And that whole thing about Hugo or Mr. Weasley was so puzzling. I can't figure out what the idea behind that was and once again, I am extremely curious! But yay! Go 'Claws! (I'm a claw myself. :D)

I understand Lily's reaction but Rose didn't have to look that shocked. :/ I'm starting to dislike her a little bit. Maybe it's because she can't believe that Hugo might be smarter than her? I'm glad that he's getting the chance to prove himself though. There are so many ways this plot can proceed and I'm interested to know your take on it. :)

That Malcolm boy gives me the chills. I have a feeling he's going to cause a lot of trouble.

Aww, Rose is being nice again! Okay, I like her now. :D I love the way Hugo consoled Lily. He's such a caring, lovable person. :)

I found a few typos here and there and commas missing in a few places. I'm sure you'll spot those if you read through this again. Other that that, I think this was a solid chapter and a brilliant start to the story. This is definitely going on my reading list. :) Keep writing, and good luck!

~Erin

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Review #7, by lindslo2012 Silence and acquaintances

28th February 2014:
Hey again! :D
Here for another requested review!! :D
So once again I am loving your unusual, unique, but addicting plot! I also love that you wrote Hugo because I feel that alot of people kind of ignore him:(
I like the person you are making Hugo. He's the kind of friend I would like to have!
Not loud or obnoxious, but quiet and an observer and listener. He seems very sweet and I want to be his friend! lol!
I love how Professor Flitwick treated him with respect and how he made him feel that he accepts Hugo the way he is. I think Hugo needed that!
I enjoyed the part where they talked about the black lake and that one boy wanted to go meet the awesome Hagrid :) He's like in his 80s by now, isn't he? But he is still so cool.
My favorite line of the whole chapter was-
"Oh I dont know, Connor rolled his eyes, in the forest, taking care of a unicorn? Wrestling a werewolf maybe? Or having tea with centaurs?"
That was brilliant and so true because you never know with Hagrid!!! :D
Well I hope that poor little Hugo finds out what is going on with him soon. I hope you re-request so I can find out!
Until next time,
-Lindsey

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review, it makes me really happy that you seem to be enjoying this story, no matter how different and slow it may be.

I'm also very pleased that you want to be Hugo's friend; he would be a great friend to have!!
Connor is interesting and his main passion is Hagrid. Old, greying Hagrid and his animals... You'll see a bit more of Connor as the story progressess, as well as Hagrid (because I love him and couldn't imagine a story without him!!)

Thanks again for such a nice review, I'll definitly ask you again :)


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Review #8, by lindslo2012 Ravenclaws and Weasleys

25th February 2014:
This is a great second chapter! I was very hooked from the beginning like your first.

Hugo is a very unique little one obviously. I feel so bad for him though because he isn't showing signs of magic yet...
I am sure right now he feels as though he might not ever fit in with the other kids in his house.
I am happy he got sorted uniquely from the other kids in the Weasley family but I can see that it will in fact bring some hardships.

I also feel bad that all the kids he has in his house aren't showing MUCH interest in him and that they all seemed to go to the same primary school :( that would make him feel automatically left out, ya know?

You wrote his feelings so well that I could almost feel how he did and you also have written great description with this chapter again as well!

I enjoyed the chapter from the very beginning and I hope you come back to re-request so I can read some more!!!

Until next time,
-Lindsey
10/10

Author's Response: Hi again! Thanks for accepting to come back and read the second chapter!!

Hugo is a strange boy, not the type we see mch in fanfiction. He isn't exhuberant, confident, funny... He's just a regular, shy boy that's been put in the most ackward position and feels his control slipping through his hands.

The Ravenclaws are very individual kids; they care about their own success and value their intelligence above all. The social aspect isn't that much important for most of them considering they see themselves as above the rest of the crowd. Plus, most of them have known each other for a long time so they don't see the need to make new friends.

And Hugo himself isn't great at making friends so he's not the one who'll openly go and talk to his classmates. Lily used to be the one to do that so he never needed to do it on his own; it'll be a big change for him to learn how to do it!


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Review #9, by lindslo2012 Sortings and surprises

19th February 2014:
Well hello Akussa!
I'm Lindsey, nice to meet you!
I am here for your requested review!
So I want to give you a pat on the back for a very well done. What awesome uniqueness this story brings. And of course I won't pass it up! I said I liked all cannon characters and to me their children are cannon too ;)
I LOVED the line about George. What an awesome uncle he would be. I kinda wish he was mine! Lol. I thought you did very well with description and that you have a very well thought out story here! Can't wait to read more! You also did a very cool thing by making Hugo different and putting him in Ravenclaw. I can just imagine all those red heads in the Great Hall. :D
Gosh I am really starting to love reading nect generation stories!!
Re-request if you like!!! :D
-Lindsey

Author's Response: Hi!!

Wow thanks so much for this review.
Also, I kind of wish George was my godfather as well :)
This story has been in my head for a while before I even started writing it and honestly, I have all seven years planned out. I'm not sure if I'll manage to write them all but to me, this story is very clear.
I'm so glad you liked it so far and I'll definitly re-request when there's a free spot, Thanks again!


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Review #10, by Celtic_Dreamer7 Explosions and expulsions

1st March 2013:
Ahhh!! Who is it? The Ravenclaw prefect with healing powers? The ghost of Ravenclaw?? Agg!! And there aren't any more chapters to read!! Well, I was laughing at his potion accident. Although, I really dislike how many authors treat Slytherins only as the house of evil, I find your take on them to be humorous. I'm still curious about the music and I'm starting to wonder if he might have gotten the wrong wand or something. I do hope you update soon. You have me wondering about the music. Great hook to keep your readers returning. Good luck on this story and all your future writing endeavors. I'm adding this story to my list of favorites and hope to be able to read an update soon.

~Celtic~

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Review #11, by Celtic_Dreamer7 Creatures and friendship

1st March 2013:
Another great chapter. I am so glad Hugo is growing into his own peer group and stepping away from his family. I wonder what type of friendship could be brewing between him and Eliana? The visit to Hagrid's was a great read. It's nice to see him with people from other houses as well. I didn't really notice any misspelled words. I'm glad Hugo is continuing to research about the music. It has me curious as well. Makes me wonder if it has anything to do with why he hasn't begun any magic yet. I love how detailed and long your chapters are. They flow really well. I can't wait to read the next one.

~Celtic~

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Review #12, by Celtic_Dreamer7 Silence and acquaintances

1st March 2013:
Again, a great chapter but I did notice a few misspelled words: magical habileties and many possibileties. It didn't take away from the story but did catch my attention. I love the meeting he had with Prof. Flitwick. I'm so glad he is beginning to grow and meet new friends even if they are outside of his house. I hope he continues to research the music. I'm curious about that as well. Again, a great chapter filled with details about life at the school. I love the description of the Ravenclaw common room and dorms, though I failed to mention that in my previous review for chapter 2. Can't wait to finish reading the next chapter.

~Celtic~

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Review #13, by Celtic_Dreamer7 Ravenclaws and Weasleys

1st March 2013:
Awww, poor Hugo! I've been there before, feeling that you didn't belong. I spotted a few mistakes sprinkled throughout but honestly couldn't find them again to point them out. I love how they all had a family meeting and how Hugo was still invited even though he is in a different house. I hope he comes into his own soon. Reading the final paragraphs was very depressing. I hope he isn't a squib! How would he have made it to Hogwarts? Can't wait to read chapter three and still trying to figure out the connection with the music.

~Celtic~

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Review #14, by Celtic_Dreamer7 Sortings and surprises

1st March 2013:
This was a great read! Very descriptive and captivating to say the least. I'm glad you included the little details about whose parents were whose because I'm not a big Next Gen fan so I really don't remember whose kid is whose, lol. I've never read a story where Hugo was sorted into Ravenclaw. I'm excited to find out about the music and what significance it has, if any, to the story. I didn't see any mistakes except once near the front where you used hers instead of his but it didn't take away from the story any. Again, a great beginning and I can't wait to read more.

~Celtic~

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Review #15, by Santa! Explosions and expulsions

3rd January 2013:
Hello again! Here to leave my final review on this story before my identity is revealed! :P

HUGO CAN DO MAGIC. I was a little confused as to whether this was wandless or not. I didn't notice any reference to him having performed the spell with a wand, but I was unsure whether this was what you intended. I remember that young children can often perform certain magic, but that must be wandless too, as they only get their wand aged 11. Ah well, either way, I was pleased that the Slytherins were covered in that potion, aha.

One thing I did find a little unlikely in this chapter was the lack of awareness outside of first year. Lily said that the whole year was talking about it, and the Prefect had no idea what had happened. To me, I would have expected the story to spread more like wildfire by the time that the Prefect questioned him.

I did think that the ending to this chapter was brilliant! When he was being chased by the Slytherins, I wondered where he might go to escape them, and thought you might even make him conveniently bump into the Weasleys. I was pleased that you didn't though, and I like the mystery and intrigue that you've left at the end of this chapter.

I will definitely be coming back to review chapter six once you update!

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Review #16, by Santa! Creatures and friendship

2nd January 2013:
... and I'm back again!

I think the stand-out thing in this chapter for me was Eliana. I like the fact that you chose to centre this chapter a little more on their growing friendship, because that's obviously what's been lacking for Hugo at the minute. I think you did a great job throughout all of the speech when adding in blushing, looking away etc. during the more awkward areas.

As for Connor, his enthusiasm is certainly undeniable and I like that he's perhaps not the first person that you'd think Hugo would make friends with. Hugo's comment about Hagrid keeping a dragon in his hut made me smile too. :)

I loved your example of logical thinking on the question to enter the Common Room. The way he worked out that it wasn't time related, told himself that and then thought about it from a different angle was a cool addition I thought. I sat and thought about it for a moment, but I didn't get that answer, so I'll say it once again, it's a good thing that I'm in Gryffindor!

What is a friend? That topic was a surprise to read in here, but when I was reading them debate the point, I sat and considered what I myself would consider a frund. I agree more with Hugo- I feel like you must be able to trust somebody and know them fairly well before you can consider them a frund. Before that... I'm not sure. I think that providing such a thought-provoking question for the reader was brilliant. :)

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Review #17, by Santa! Silence and acquaintances

2nd January 2013:
And the plot thickens...

I'm REALLY wondering what this music is now, and I think it's only natural that Hugo would go to the library in search of answers. I do wonder if it's something that's affecting his magic though.

I really like how you've managed to turn Hugo into such a quiet person, yet somebody who is also extremely aware and mature. I feel like a lot of stories have a main character who is always in the limelight, or who isn't that mature or quiet. It definitely makes a nice change to read it this way :)

I am glad that he made some friends in this chapter though, and the part where they all went to visit Hagrid was great. I liked the idea of one of the other characters being the most interested in animals too. It seems like the formation of a new set of friends for Hugo, but I still wonder whether he makes any friends within the other friendship group within Ravenclaw.

I'll be back to review chapter four soon!

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Review #18, by Santa! Ravenclaws and Weasleys

1st January 2013:
Wow! This chapter was excellent again!

Poor Hugo, not being able to do any magic yet. :/ Whenever that happens, I can't imagine it to be fun because everyone is so excited and wants to be able to do SOME magic as soon as, so it must not be nice to be the last who is able to do it. :/

I didn't manage to get the riddle. That was hard! I guess I'm glad I'm not a Ravenclaw, and that I can wear my Gryffindor badge with pride! I think that collective nervousness to answer in front of everybody would be something very real that a lot of them would have felt, so I thought that was a superb idea :)

The Weasleys' meeting... I really, really enjoyed that idea, with them all sit in a circle of armchairs talking, joking and whatever else. Their rules and code was definitely an interesting idea, and on the whole, I find it a really nice idea to make happen. :)

There were a few spelling mistakes I noted here and there, so maybe it would be worth running this over with a spell checker or a beta. :)

Awesome job though!

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Review #19, by Santa! Sortings and surprises

31st December 2012:
Hi! Hope you had a Merry Christmas!

I'll start with the burning question I have- which is about the noise he can hear on the platform and on the train. I know better than to expect to find out, but I can't wait to see how that develops. It's definitely something that held my interest through the chapter. :)

I really liked the ideas that you had in here, that are different to so many stories! The howler idea was excellent, and I loved the code that George had devised. I thought the chat between Albus and Hugo was great, because as well as giving an insight into both characters, it was nice to see that he had had the choice as well.

I'm wondering how the next chapter is going to go, and if he'll make some friends within Ravenclaw... or even an enemy :P But I really enjoyed this chapter!

Good job!

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Review #20, by MargaretLane Creatures and friendship

26th December 2012:
Aw, that part where Hugo is wondering if Connor actually wants to spend time with him, willingly is so moving.

Hugo's implied that at least one of his other uncles is involved in the shop. Interesting.

*grins* Hugo is GOOD at the eagle's questions.

Eliana seems smart and insightful. I like her.


*laughs at "I don't think Hagrid keeps dragons in his hut"* He has been known to do so!

This is a small thing, but doesn't Hagrid say "yeh", meaning "you" rather than "ye"? I keep reading "ye" as being pronounced to rhyme with "bee" and being the word we use for the plural version of "you" here in Ireland. I don't think he said that in the books.

Hmm, I wonder if there's a mystery about Eliana and why she doesn't come in the common room often.

And I'm really intrigued by this music. Synaesthesia is the only explanation I can think of and I'm not sure if that really fits.

I'm with Hugo rather than Flitwick on the idea of friendship. I think a friend is somebody you can trust, somebody you know well, somebody who you can tell how you truly feel. People whose company you enjoy, but who you wouldn't feel comfortable confiding in or who you aren't sure how close they feel to you are more friendly acquaintances in my mind. Or people you'd LIKE to be friends with. I read somewhere that the average person has two friends, which seems about right to me.

When talking about wizard's chess, you've written "loosing" instead of "losing".

Wizards don't seem to have a great variety of pastimes actually. It might be just because we've only really seen what Harry is interested in, but they only seem to have one major sport, a limited number of types of music, no electronics, obviously, a couple of board games and card games, but nothing like the variety of THOSE the Muggle world has either, no cinemas. We also haven't heard of any novels or theatres, although these MAY exist; Harry just mightn't be interested in them.

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Review #21, by rory Explosions and expulsions

21st December 2012:
this is a great story and i enjoy reading it alot. keep up the good work and i cant wait for the next part :)

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and taking the time to review! I'm glad you enjoy my new story and I hope you'll like the rest as well, when the queue re-opens!

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Review #22, by Jimmbo Explosions and expulsions

19th December 2012:
Just caught up with your story and I have to say that I am loving it. The only thing I would say is that I think you need to proof-read a little better cos this chapter in particular is littered with spelling mistakes that are a little distracting. The story though is first-class, can't wait for updates!

Author's Response: I do agree with you about the proof-reading. I wanted to get this chapter in before the queue closed and I admit that I didn't really check it out so much. I also know that I need a beta to help me out; being French, spelling and grammar errors slip by me easily!!

Thanks again for your lovely review, I'm glad you enjoy the beginning of my new story; I can't wait for the queue to re-open in order to send in the next chapter!


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Review #23, by Jimmbo Ravenclaws and Weasleys

19th December 2012:
Another good chapter. Love the idea of the Code of Conduct and all the many many Weasley's sticking together.

Author's Response: Thanks ! I think the cousins would stick together, not being all best friends but getting along enough to watch out for each other. Glad you thought it was realistic :)

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Review #24, by Jimmbo Sortings and surprises

19th December 2012:
Really great first chapter and great to see something different in this era. Tired of some many stories being just the same. I hope very chapter is as good as this one

Author's Response: Hi and thanks so much for your review, I'm glad you liked this first chapter and thought it was different from what we usually see in next-gen :) I do hope you'll enjoy the rest as well!

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Review #25, by Athene Goodstrength Sortings and surprises

17th December 2012:
Hi Akussa!

I知 so sorry it痴 taken so long for me to get back to you with my half of the Holiday Review Swap! Real life, meh. But I知 glad I知 back, because this chapter was adorable! I really enjoyed reading it. When I知 reviewing I just write notes down, so I知 sorry if this review seems a little rambly or out of the right order.

I really liked seeing Hugo and Lily being truly childlike in their excitement and nerves and innocence. Often, the 鮮ext Gen are portrayed as being fully formed adults in 11 year old bodies, so I enjoyed your portrayal of them as children. You also captured the hustle and bustle of Platform 9 & セ really nicely, it made me feel all excited. I *loved* the relationship between Hugo and his uncle George, it痴 a beautiful stroke of inspiration; I知 glad George remains mischievous despite the things he痴 gone through.

Rose is a perfect blend of both her parents - I love your characterization of her. She痴 got Granger brains but a Weasley attitude to life... a dangerous and exciting combination! You壇 think it would be quite a lot for Hermione and Ron to deal with, but I love their parenting style as portrayed in this chapter. I thought it was a very poignant and realistic touch that Ron would make sure his kids know how fortunate they are to get new robes. I also liked the allusion towards Hermione worrying about Hugo hearing things that aren稚 there - it reminded me of her stressing at Harry over the basilisk voice, his scar and his dreams. It痴 a very nice bit of characterization that shows me you really know and care about these characters. One thing stood out though - Hermione calling her son 礎aby. That struck me as a little American, or at least, not very Hermione-ish!

The little mention of Harry and Ginny痴 ruthless and hilarious way of dealing with James痴 bad behaviour at school made me laugh so much. It痴 really imaginative and enjoyable.

Poor Uncle Percy! Hahaha. I feel sorry for him, but that bit did make me laugh. I知 not close to my own cousins, so it was cool to see the Potters and Weasleys taking care of each other.

I love that the method of Sorting remains a mystery to the young ones - I always wondered why ickle Ron wouldn稚 know that it痴 a Hat, but it makes sense that it痴 kept a secret from kids before they go to Hogwarts. Part of the experience, I guess!
I thought it was interesting that you mention primary schools throughout this chapter. Will there be more about this? It痴 usually understood that children are homeschooled until Hogwarts (which always seems a bit crazy to me!).

With all the build up that there is, I was a little surprised that we don稚 get to see Hugo realising what the Sorting Ceremony entails. I think you could include a nice moment there. I thought the hat sliding down little Creevey痴 head was a very nice nod to his poor little uncle.

I found the Weasley fear of 創ot belonging to be fascinating. They come from a large, loving, inclusive family and it actually makes perfect sense that they (even Bill! Even Fred and George!) would be nervous about going to a new 蘇ome where they don稚 automatically belong.

I love reading about Sortings. It automatically makes for an exciting, tense chapter... but you致e also succeeded in making it a warm, fuzzy, lovely chapter. It was good to see Hugo and Lily agreeing to be friends and meet up etc - I think interhouse friendships should appear in FF more.

I noticed a few misspellings - The first time you mention Hufflepuff, the 銑 and the 薦 are the wrong way around. When Hagrid is calling the kids to the boats, I believe it should be 素irst years, rather than 素irst year. And 前livanders should be 前llivander. Finally, there was one that really made me giggle - someone gives an 'apoplectic' smile; I think you mean 疎pologetic. Apoplectic means 素urious ;)

This chapter was very enjoyable, it was warm and sweet, and I could see your affection for the characters. Your Hugo is adorable. You致e also given us a mystery to wonder about - that music! I giggled to myself, because I wondered if Hugo was hearing the movie soundtrack :P I知 intrigued. I may well be back soon to read on!

Thanks for the swap! Ho ho ho!
Athene xo

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