Oh wow. This is just painfully beautiful, dear! This is the first time I've read a piece from the point of view of a room, and I really am quite impressed and in love! And the fact that it just so happens to be the Hufflepuff Common room adds to that! ♥
Your description here is absolutely breathtaking. I could almost see Professor Sprout shaking out those dusty old quilts, could almost feel myself sitting in one of those dusty old yellow and black pieces of furniture. You did an amazing job of putting your reader into the room, and for that I applaud you!
There were no spelling or grammar mistakes, and I really loved your personification of the Badger's Den. A great job! 10/10! Report Review
Hey I'm here with your random review! Can I just say your banner is awesome and so Hufflepuff!
I loved how you described the Hufflepuff common room it's exactly how I imagined, with the yellow and black, and the earthiness room! Even though Professor Sprout, is head of Hufflepuff and the Herbology teacher, I always thought that the 'Puffs had an afinity for that subject, so it was nice to see that was reflected in the room!
I liked how you almost used the furniture to describe, how it was feeling the lonliness in the usual bright and bubbly comon room, and that Helga felt it to and couldn't stand it. I thought it was great that you gave inanimate objects a personaltiy.
I loved the narrative, am I right in guessing that it was the common room describing everything, due to the last line. If that's true that's a really original idea, and a great one at that to. I've never seen that before, but it is interesting here it from the wall's perspective as they do really see everything!
A great read, and I'm glad I came across it! Kiana :DAuthor's Response: Hello! Thank you so much! Yup, FairyQueen made an awesome banner! XD
I had to do quite a bit of research to find out what the Hufflepuff common room looks like, since we never saw it in the books, so I'm really pleased that you loved my descriptions! I actually thought that -because- she was the Herbology professor, she put the plants in there for her House, which is how they became good at the subject in the first place! XD
Thank you! I wanted to do something different, something unique, and it makes me happy to hear that you thought it was great!
Yes, you are correct - this story is written from the viewpoint of the Hufflepuff common room. I'm glad that you think it's unique; I wanted it to be! ♥
Thank you for your review!
-Katie Report Review
I adore the idea that wall are sentient. I think, especially at Hogwarts, that sentient buildings have a lot of potential, and you've certainly explored that quite nicely!
I thought it interesting that you chose to write the Hufflepuff Common Room the way you did - so lonely and lost without its people - I think it really captured that sense of loyalty and working together aspect of the House.
The last few lines were my favourite (they echoed a book that I'd recently finished and absolutely adored) because I think it really encapsulates not just what Hufflepuff is about, but what Hogwarts is also about - home.
An amazing story!Author's Response: Thank you - I'm really glad that you liked my portrayal of the walls and of their viewpoint!
I felt that as we saw the Gryffindor, Slytherin and Ravenclaw common rooms in the book, but not the Hufflepuff common room, that it deserved to get some recognition. Plus, I'm a 'Puff on the forums, so how could I -not- write about my own house? ;)
Thank you! I have to admit to loving those last lines too - they were really a pleasure to write! ♥ Report Review
This is so unique, I loved it! It's a simple idea that you've taken and expanded on and the result is just gorgeous!
Really great writing for such a short piece. I think you ended it at just the right time. I like that you didn't drag it out for the sake of a higher word count. I find that I do that sometimes and that it can take away from the overall quality.
I didn't notice any spelling or grammar mistakes at all, great work! I loved it!Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm really happy that you think that my idea and the end result is gorgeous! XD
I must admit, I was concerned that the word count was rather short, but in the end I decided that it was quality and not quantity that mattered, and I'm glad that you agree!
I'm also glad that you loved this one-shot; thank you for reviewing! ♥ Report Review
I liked it, it was really well written and it was different. I'm assuming that this is being told from the point of view of a wall. If it is then that's really awesome, I've never read anything written from that perspective.
Great job on the one shot!Author's Response: Thank you! Yes, this one-shot is told is told from the viewpoint of the Hufflepuff Common Room. :)
I'm glad that you thought it was awesome; I wanted to create something original and had never been done before. (As far as I know, at least.)
Thank you! :) Report Review
I've always found stories from the point of view of something inanimate really fascinating; and this story is the warmest I've yet read. The Hufflepuff common room, to me, is my favorite. The Gryffindor one is the most familiar to us, yes, but it feels somewhat cold with all of the stonework, like the rest of Hogwarts. And the Slytherin dungeons are colder still. Ravenclaw has a nice common room, but it lacks the warmth that you've brought to life in the Hufflepuff common room. With the way that you've described it, I would rather be sorted into that House than into any of the others. Despite being underground just like the Slytherin common room and dormitories, I'm imagining shades of honey and gold instead, and with the barrel-like tunnels, all I can think about is Butterbeer. It seems like such a happy place, with the walls themselves literally affectionate towards the people roaming inside, with children known for being loyal and kind and hardworking mixing together. For the copper sconces and wall hangings and even the dust waiting for the arrival of children, for laughter and amusement, it just brings to mind a really merry place to pass your days. The renewed hope that it was almost September the first made me actually smile; never thought I would be happy for a room to have its wishes met.
You've made a stout Gryffindor really want to be a Hufflepuff! I suppose I can be a Gryffinpuff. :P
I really loved your language. It was elegant but soft, if that makes any sense. Like: But if you were ever curious as to what would happen if walls could speak, then I will enlighten you. There's a gentleness and earthiness to it that reminds me of Professor Sprout. Which I suppose explains why she was Sorted there. :)
Lovely one-shot!Author's Response: Awww, thank you! XD
Yup, we've seen all the common rooms in the HP books except Hufflepuff's, so I thought it deserved some kind of mention! :D
*dies of happiness* Ahhh thank you so much for that compliment Sarah! ♥ I'm sure Hufflepuff students probably wish one of those barrel-like tunnels lead to the Three Broomsticks so that they can have Butterbeer! ;)
Thank you! When I was researching the room, I saw so much being said about cosy the 'Puffs found it and wanted to emphasise that cosiness. Ah I'm so glad you were able to empathize with the room! :D
Yes, you can! Hello there, Gryffinpuff! XD
I'm honoured that you loved my language, coming from such a talented author as yourself. My intention was for the room to be quite similar to Helga Hufflepuff- to have her emotions, in a way, since she did create that room, but there's no reason why those emotions shouldn't apply to Hufflepuff students / Heads. :)
Thank you! XD Report Review
Hey it's Whiskey from Holiday Review Swap!
I thought I'd check out the one shot, since it hasn't got too many reviews and my goodness, am I glad I did!
It isn't without faults, of course, but the idea is just so lovely! Hogwarts, we all know, has a life of its own and magic has the tendency to gift sentience to objects, like portraits,books, Peeves...So imagining how the walls of the school would feel towards it's own students fits perfectly into the HP world. I really like it when fanfiction makes sense within the fandome! It doesn't happen all that often at all!
If I may, though, I would like to suggest some changes. A couple of sentences were a little weird. For example: "Dust gathers itself in untrodden, non-existent corners." I really can't picture a non-existent, dusty corner and don't know what sort of feeling you were going for with this.Or: "Rare and interesting plants cultivated from the Herbology greenhouses..." Rare and interesting are rather vague words and they are not very exciting nor do they help picture what is being described. Are the plants sharp and pointy, or brighty colored, or round and fluffy, or, eh, I don't know! Tell us what they are like :) Or this: "sofas...crying out". It might just be me, but sofas and crying out doesn't seem to fit. Sofas are the epitome of comfort and relaxation...maybe they would whisper, or chant?
I liked how you described the way the beds were stripped and the curtains were drawn. This reenforced the idea of abandonment. I would advise you to continue the same way throughout the rest of the one-shot. You have so many very different descriptions that it takes some effort on the reader's part to understand how to feel. It shouldn't be that much work to fix, though, you have a great basis here. The imagery is perfect, I just think the words you chose are conflicting with it at times. Try to go for descriptions that imply calmness, melancholy, quiet anticipation. I think altrering one or two descriptions should accomplish that :)
good luck!Author's Response: Ooooh thank you! I'm quite flattered that you think my fanfiction fits perfectly into the HP world; that's a fantastic compliment!
I did research for this one-shot and the Hufflepuff common room is designed in a circular shape. Therefore, the corners would be non-existent because a circle doesn't have corners. ;) I also felt that Dumbledore would reduce the house-elves' duties over the summer because they work hard over the school year, which would explain how dust has gathered.
I did consider describing the plants, but I was concerned that adding too much detail about the plants would detract from the rest of the one-shot. It is the Hufflepuff common room I'm describing after all, not the Herbology greenhouses. ;)
As for sofas, they creak loudly when forced to take too much weight. So while I appreciate your thoughts, personally I'm quite happy to put "crying out". Sofas were designed to be sat on, so I visualize them as sighing happily and contentedly when students are sitting on them, and whispering gently to any students who have fallen asleep on them. When they are not permitted to serve their purpose, they would get very upset. (And perhaps one or two of them, jinxed by some very mischevious 'Puffs, would start chasing professors demanding to be sat on or said professors would get eaten!) :D
I'm glad that you think that my imagery is perfect, however I didn't want to use too many melancholic words because I wanted to portray the Hufflepuff common room as still having hope that its students would return from the summer. The school has been threatened with closure more than once, so imagine how the poor common room feels every year wondering if Hogwarts was closed over the summer and no-one mentioned it to the room, so its students would never return!
Thank you so much for taking the time to review; it is much appreciated. :) Report Review
Hello there, it's Ali for the Holiday Review Swap! Thank you for reviewing my story!
I really loved this little one-shot. It felt very artsy and sort of like something you'd hear at a poetry reading where everyone snaps, but also just a beautiful little short story in one of those dusty collections of stories.
You're attention to detail was amazing! You gave this whole warm and cozy picture of the Hufflepuff common room that rivaled what I saw on Pottermore. It was absoutely excellent and you really managed to capture the feel of the Hufflepuff common room.
I loved that I was left guessing the entire time who was narrating the story the entire time and I have to admit I loved that it was the walls in the end. At first I thought it might be Helga Hufflepuff, but I really enjoyed how you incorporated the "if walls could talk" saying. Also, I appreciate the story dedicated to the underloved House of Hufflepuff!
Overall, excellent job!
classicblackAuthor's Response: Hi there! No problem at all! :)
I've never been to a poetry reading, so I'll have to take your word for it, but I'm glad that you loved this one-shot!
I had to do some research on what the Hufflepuff common room looked like as we never saw it in the HP books, so I'm glad that it showed! (I have no clue what Pottermore is, but I'll take my ability to rival it as a compliment, haha!) I'm so glad you feel that I captured the Hufflepuff common room perfectly! :D
I was really worried that you might figure out that it was the room quite early on in the one-shot, so I'm glad to see I kept you guessing until the very end! Thank you- although TenthWeasley's review made me start considering writing the other common rooms too...
Thank you! :D Report Review
This is by far one of the most original one-shots I've ever read! It took me a few moments, after finishing, to decide my opinion on it, but I really have to give you kudos for writing from this particular point of view. The walls of the Hufflepuff common room -- how did you ever think of that?
But you really made it work! I kind of like the idea that the walls watch the students grow up, and you captured a warm, homey atmosphere that I always like to think would have been present in the common rooms (with, perhaps, the exception of Slytherin's). Knowing everything that these walls see, I think you've captured it very aptly. And your writing is very good! You have a lot of talent, particularly with descriptions, and really have the hang of writing mechanics, spelling and grammar and the like.
I enjoyed this very much, and am so glad I clicked on this to read! I'm still grinning at the whole idea; this is so original. :) Please do keep on writing, because you've got loads of promise!Author's Response: Thank you, Rachel! Coming from such a talented author as yourself, that kind of compliment is amazing! Long story short, someone mentioned "walls have ears" and I started thinking, what if walls have not just ears, but eyes and senses and feelings? From there, The Badger's Den developed.
I like that idea too! To be honest, I was worried that it was quite short, but your positive comments have banished those worries! I had to do some research on what the Hufflepuff common room looked like to ensure my descriptions were canon, and I'm so pleased that you like the result and those hours staring at the computer screen were worth it!
Credit for my writing skill goes to my mother. She has something similar to dyslexia, but caused by a head injury, so she finds it frustrating not being able to phrase her written sentences as well as she used to. As a result, she spent hours with me as a child teaching me how to write and encouraged me to do it as much as I could so that I could improve. ♥
You're still grinning at my one-shot?! Well, I'm still grinning at your reviews! So it looks like we're both grinning happily! (or in my case, like a lunatic)
"Please do keep on writing, because you've got loads of promise!" < You have no idea how much this means to me. Thank you so much! ♥
PS: Why, oh why, did you mention the Slytherin common room?! I was about to say that I thought the Slytherin common room would be snooty, Malfoy-esque and focused on the pure-blood matches of its students rather than watching them grow up, much like I consider their founders / creators to be, and simply leave it at that. Now I have the overwhelming urge to write from the Slytherin common room's POV... and the Ravenclaw and Gryffindor common rooms' too.
Oh, Rachel. You're killing me. ;) Report Review
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