Reading Reviews for Finality
  
3 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Broken Butterfly Finality

2nd December 2012:
OMG! I am so sorry, I was using my cousins laptop when I clicked the link to read your story and I forgot to log her out on HPFF first before I reviewed. I feel like a ditz. This is my review and I appreciate your submission to the Black Challenge. Ignore review by dracolovergirl5000 I restated review in my name


_Thank you for your submission to The Black Challenge, 1st place as it was the only completed submission!
I loved this, and from reading would have made it one of the top three of there had been more submissions.
Writing in second person is really difficult and directly speaks to the reader and I feel as though you accomplished that passably well. There was an area where you switched into first person and I had to do a double take... but it did take me a minute to process the switch so it wasn't really too noticeable.
Andromeda... Wow! The characterization in this is fantastic. In everything I have ever read, Andromeda has been loving and warm and accepting especially forgiving to Narcissa. It was great to see a different take on her, to emphasis how a normal ordinary person would feel when faced with that situation... the anger, pain, sadness, bitterness and it was amazing. I feel I could relate to Andromeda in this. And I never expected her to use the cruciatis curse on Bella... wow. The plot in this is great, how Narcissa would seek help to help Draco during the battle, How Bella would seek an opportunity to cause her siblings pain and Hoe Andromeda would Be faced with the reunion she never wanted. I only wish that there was more, because this is really good.
Contact me on the Forums PM with what kind of image you would like for the story and what other stories you would like me to review on._

Author's Response: Ohmyrowling! Yay I won, totally because of my amazing writing skills ;) Thank you for the review and I'm glad you enjoyed the story.
I didn't realize I had switched into first person! Whilst I was writing I had to go back and correct myself because I realized I had but at the end of the story I asked my friend to read it and then just uploaded it without reading all the way through. I just wanted it done because I found the second person really tricky to write in, not to mention the fact that I've never written anything with those characters properly before so I was very nervous.
I'm glad I managed to portray the Black Sisters accurately, I was nervous about that too!
Well I can certainly say this was definitely a challenge but I did enjoy it!
Thanks for reviewing and I shall definitely contact you right now on the forums!
~Pottergirl7


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Review #2, by Dracolovergirl5000 Finality

2nd December 2012:
Thank you for your submission to The Black Challenge, 1st place as it was the only completed submission!
I loved this, and from reading would have made it one of the top three of there had been more submissions.
Writing in second person is really difficult and directly speaks to the reader and I feel as though you accomplished that passably well. There was an area where you switched into first person and I had to do a double take... but it did take me a minute to process the switch so it wasn't really too noticeable.
Andromeda... Wow! The characterization in this is fantastic. In everything I have ever read, Andromeda has been loving and warm and accepting especially forgiving to Narcissa. It was great to see a different take on her, to emphasis how a normal ordinary person would feel when faced with that situation... the anger, pain, sadness, bitterness and it was amazing. I feel I could relate to Andromeda in this. And I never expected her to use the cruciatis curse on Bella... wow. The plot in this is great, how Narcissa would seek help to help Draco during the battle, How Bella would seek an opportunity to cause her siblings pain and Hoe Andromeda would Be faced with the reunion she never wanted. I only wish that there was more, because this is really good.
Contact me on the Forums PM with what kind of image you would like for the story and what other stories you would like me to review on.

Author's Response: Wow I won? No way! Through default or not I'm happy! Thanks for the review!
~Jess


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Review #3, by Star12222 Finality

1st December 2012:
Great story!, them sisters really dislike each other :P

Author's Response: They do indeed! Thanks for the review!
~Jess


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