Oh my gosh "And for the first time in a week, Lily and James found themselves laughing." this just make me unbelievably sad because I know it would probably be the last time they laughed before they died... My heart is now broken, I hope you are very happy.
10/10Author's Response: Thank you very much for reviewing! I am both pleased that this piece moved you so much, yet sad because, lets face it, broken hearts aren't fun! I suggest reading some humor or fluff asap! :P Report Review
So, I'm a big sucker for anything Marauders. Want to make me happy whilst attacking my feels? Just present me with a Jily mid war with a side dash of Sirius (who was great for the line he was in here, loved it). This made me want to reach out and give both of them a hug, poor dears, and I've always thought that that must have been one of the worst things about the phrophecy - not knowing whether or not it was your baby or your friends, and really hoping it was your friends. So I'm really glad that you brought that up and hilighted that.
And James with his father talk was just so adorbs that I haven't recovered yer (and probably won't for a reaall long time).
Thanks for writing!
-ACAuthor's Response: Thank you for such a lovely review! :) Yes, James' father talk was very cute, and I had such fun writing it, because I always thought that Lily fell in love with him, because he had this secret soft side, so I tried to display this here :) Thank you again! :) Report Review
Very well written :) You had me really scared at the end for a moment! Good luck in the challenge ;) I'm sure you'll do well xxAuthor's Response: Thank you :) Ha ha ha ha! I gotcha :P Thank you! I hope so anyway! xx Report Review
I'm here! And I didn't take six years to get here! Disclaimer: Here's harsh and honest, but I refuse to be mean.
So the first thing I automatically noticed was the typos. I would absolutely recommend getting a beta to go over those things because it was a bit distracting!
For the emotions I really wish there would have been some kind of monlogue or something of the sort that really dissected Lily's feelings. Of course, we get it. She'ds frightened and angry and twelve million other things. But, I would have liked to see you further dissect it and explain it in depth and really knocked us down with all the emotion in it. I know you can do that and I want to see it.
I also would have liked a little more imagery. I didn't see that much of it and I would have liked to see a little bit more. It really adds to the story, and you really wouldn't need to terribly much for a piece like this.
Also, I think you should further dissect James's feelings as well. You did have him speaking to Harry about his future and whatnot, which was a lovely touch but I think you could have also talked about his feelings about Lily's. Does that make any sense?
What I really did like about this was the general plot. I adore a good James/Lily so I was pretty stoked about this!
I feel terrible. But it absolutely, posititvely no way am I saying this in a mean way. I loved this piece, I do, but there's always room for improvement.
I feel awful, just so you know.
EverAuthor's Response: Hey there :) Thank you so much for the review :) I really appreciate it :) And there's no need to feel mean, you were being honest, but not in a mean way! Don't worry! I will definitely run back over this story and add the stuff in that you recommended :) Thank you so much :D Report Review
Hello! Thanks for the submission for my challenge. I really liked this - I thought is was a good, accurate portrayal of the fear and tension that James and Lily would be feeling, knowing about the prophecy. James talking to Harry was adorable. Overall, this was very good. Great job!Author's Response: Thank you so much :) Report Review
Your're quote on the front was lovely and I decided that I would read this. 10/10. Its amazing, i love how you wrote lily and the relationship of James and Lily it was perfect and just how I imagined it to be. I loved Sirius at the end :DAuthor's Response: Thank you :) Ah, you have to love Sirius :) He is just fab :) Thank you for reading this! I explored another side to Lily in this and this is how I'd react anyway if I was told my child was on Voldemort's hit-list! Thank you for reading :) Report Review
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