Hey there, Sian! I'm back for the last chapter!

It was really nice to have this chapter after their wedding- to get a bit of a look at their married life, and find out about all the fallout from their elopement! I love the way you write Molly and Campbell together. The way they talk to each other feels so sweet, and so natural, and I like that they still tease each other all the time!

The description of the dragon training centre was gorgeous- I wish I could go and work there now! I really liked the sense of community between all the workers, and it's nice for Molly to have some new friends, even if they're all mad enough to want to be dragon handlers :P

And her family's reactions were great! Poor Percy! I especially liked Lucy's letter- it was a really nice touch to have them come together over this, and I liked the idea that they might get on better in the future as a result.

However, I think my favourite thing about this chapter (and through most of the story) is how you stayed true to Molly's character. Even with all the things that have happened to her, she still seems like the Molly we met at the beginning of the story- with her always being early and hating PDAs- and yet you still manage to move her on, into a much happier, more confident person. Those last few paragraphs with her looking back over how the relationship had changed her made me smile so much! It was so sweet, and touching, and just perfect :)

I've enjoyed reading this story so much- it's been so happy and nice to read after a long, exam-ridden day! You write beautifully and I just love your characters (especially Molly!) A really fantastic story!

-Bethany

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Woo for Molly and Campbell!

One of my favourite things about this story is how Molly has loosened up, and become a bit more confident, but still retained her personality from the start of the story- her bluntness, and her obsession with being early... I loved that Campbell turned up half an hour early because he knew that she'd already have packed. It really showed how well he knew her.

Is it bad that I laughed with Molly about Campbell being seasick? It was sort of nice to see him being a bit less-than-perfect for once; it made him seem more human.

I loved Molly's whole reaction to the dragon reserve, and the wooden trees bit! Your description of the place was great, I could just picture it. I also loved the informality and relaxed-ness of their wedding- it not only seemed to fit with their personalities but with their whole relationship and gah it was just generally perfect! I smiled so much while I was reading it :)
And Charlie turned up! I didn't see that coming at all, but it was such a nice twist to have someone from Molly's family there. I enjoyed your characterisation of him a lot, and his "I'm not a snitch" comment!

A really wonderful chapter. The wedding was just beautiful, and Molly and Campbell are so wonderful together :) I especially loved the last line- it seemed such a great sentiment for Molly, and was a lovely ending to a great chapter!

-Bethany

Author's Response: Hi again!

You're right about everything here - Molly has grown and changed as a person, but the main elements of her personality have remained the same. They do know each other well, even though it isn't actually that long since they met, and they respond to what they've learnt about each other too.

Of course not! I was laughing while I wrote the bit about Campbell being seasick (that's actually part of the reason Molly thought it). It would have been easy to portray Cyrus as a perfect character, but I really wanted him to be real.

Ah, Charlie! I couldn't have Molly getting married without any of her family there, and Charlie seemed like the right person to give her away. I'm so glad you loved the wedding! I felt like it fit with Molly and Campbell as a couple, even though I struggled a bit writing that part.

You're so lovely to me! Thanks again for another fantastic review! (and now I'm overusing exclamation marks...)

Sian :)

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Ah! They're getting married! :D **does happy dance** Yay!

Okay- proper chapter review now :P
It was lovely to meet Felicity! It seems nice for Molly to have someone as sarcastic as she is to chat with, and I was sort of glad that she got to boast about dating Cyrus to someone at last! I liked all Felicity's questions as well- they made me laugh, but also seemed a pretty realistic way to respond!

Your description of Cyrus' flat was wonderful- I could really imagine it. And Molly should definitely marry him if he's good at cooking :P It may seem minor, but I did like that you had him as a good cook- it was a nice, down-to-earth detail about him that shows the more ordinary side of his personality...

And I am pleased that Molly isn't backing down about the dragon training centre even though they're dating. It seems to fit with her personality. But Romania! I loved the drama of the end of this chapter... her thinking that he was leaving, then asking her to come with her, then proposing! I thought the way he did was pretty perfect- I loved the spontaneity and excitement of it, and the way Molly didn't take it quite seriously at first- it reminded me of how he first told her that he loved her :)
And she said yes! They're so perfect for each other, I'm hoping so much that everything works out for them! Another wonderful (and very exciting!) chapter!
(I seem to be wildly overusing exclamation marks in this review...!)

-Bethany

Author's Response: Hello Bethany!

Oh, I'm so pleased you liked Felicity! I thought she was a character who complimented Molly well and definitely someone that she'd end up being best friends with. Well, she had to have someone that she could talk about Cyrus to, right? I had such fun writing Felicity's questions as well.

One of the things I wanted to do with Cyrus was flesh him out a bit by including some of those details that made him seem more real - it's great to know that it came across that way.

Eek, I'm so happy you liked the proposal! It kind of came out of the blue a bit, and it was really spontaneous, which I thought fit in with Campbell's personality. I think Molly's quite reluctant to believe what Cyrus says because she isn't normally this lucky - but yes, they're getting married!

Thanks for an amazing review!

Sian :)

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Aw! This story makes me smile so much!

I love the way you write Molly and Campbell's conversations- there's something easy and comfortable about them, even when they're teasing each other. It was interesting to find out a bit more about Cyrus' past with the band and everything, and I think I like him even more for the fact that he not only wasn't taken in by the celebrity lifestyle, but that he chose to do something worthwhile (if a little crazy!) afterwards.

There were some hilarious moments in this chapter- the "patients from St Mungos with irremovable Rictusempra" made me laugh, as does pretty every one of Molly's references to her family. You certainly manage to show why she finds them difficult, but I liked that showed them as not all insufferable, with the bit about Dominique covering for her.

And Molly and Campbell's little romantic moments are so cute! You write them really well :) The way he told her that he loved her was perfect, I thought- all spontaneous, and unprompted and heartfelt. I can't wait to read on!

-Bethany

Author's Response: Hi Bethany!

This is the 50th review on this story! Thank you so much! *Happy dance*

I'm really glad you're enjoying this. I wanted to write a romantic story without it being too sappy and over-the-top, and I hope I managed it. I've never tried writing humour before either, so it's great to know that it seems to have worked!

Cyrus doesn't really care for the celebrity lifestyle, even though it gave him access to a lot of things. I think that's one of the reasons they fit so well. I'm pleased you like the way I write their romantic moments! I was so worried about writing the "I love you" scene and I wanted it to come across as in-character and natural.

Thank you for another fantastic review, and I hope you carry on reading!

Sian :)

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Hello!

She said yes to him! (Well sort of!)
I love Molly's insistence about it not being date- it seemed very in character and really made me laugh! I like Cyrus as well; he seems like such a nice guy, and I was pleased that he didn't pay any attention to that waitress :P

I liked how you highlighted the fact that Molly and Campbell both have the same problem with being recognised all the time- it was a nice thing that draws them together, and you handled it pretty subtly. Molly's awkwardness and bluntless are not only endearing, but also pretty relatable. I imagine that Campbell doesn't encounter many girls who feel sorry for him!

I'm quite curious about Molly's friend Felicity, and hoping that we'll get to meet her soon? It's clever, the way you've mentioned her without us actually encountering her yet, so we feel her presence in Molly's life without having seen her properly yet...

And another great ending- one that really makes me want to read on! I can't wait to find out where Campbell and Molly are headed...!

Another great chapter! Well done!

-Bethany

Author's Response: Hi again!

There was no way Molly was going to admit to herself that she was on a date, because then she might have to face the consequences! Even though I wrote this, I took great pleasure in the fact Campbell ignored the waitress, just like Molly did. :P

I'm so happy you saw the similarities between them, even though they're such different people - I wanted to show they might have more in common than they first thought. The filter between Molly's brain and mouth doesn't always work, which explains the comment about feeling sorry for him. But it makes a nice change for Campbell to meet someone who is honest with him.

You're the first person to pick up on Felicity being mentioned in this chapter! Despite how awkward Molly is, she has to have some friends, right? As for whether you get to meet her, you'll just have to read on and find out...

Thanks for another brilliant review, and I hope you get the chance to continue reading and letting me know what you think - I've really enjoyed reading your thoughts!

Sian :)

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Hey there!

This was such a great first chapter. I already love Molly! She has such a distinct voice and I'm immensely enjoying her no-nonsense-ness (is that a word?), and her dry, understated kind of humour. She seems very much Percy's daughter, but not at all in a bad way!

I think it's really original to have a Weasley who's not super close to every single cousin, although having said that, I did like the way her relationship with Charlie was portrayed.

Haha Molly's collegues made me laugh! Your description of how everyone in the office was trying to act so cool when Campbell came in was hilarious, as was Molly's sort of disdain for it all! You've certainly shown what a strong character she is here- when she turned down his proposal, despite him being a sexy a rock star, I was like "you tell him, girl!" at the screen! :P

That said, he does seem like a genuinely nice guy from what we've seen of him- Dragon handling seems like an interesting job for an ex-rockstar- I'm hoping we'll get to find out what prompted the change? He seems like he could be someone good for Molly, maybe being a bit more outgoing and spontaneous...?

And I do love a bit of a cliffhanger! I suppose I'll just have to go read on to find out what she'll say!

-Bethany

Author's Response: Hi Bethany!

I'm so pleased you love Molly - I do too! She was such a fun character to write. There are definitely elements of Percy in her, but she's not completely the same.

I've always thought that in such a big family someone must have felt left out, and I see that as Molly in this story.

The way people react to celebrities is hilarious sometimes, and I wanted to use that here. Molly's not at all that sort of person, and when she has a job to do she's completely focused no that, so Campbell didn't have much chance persuading her to give him his own way.

Campbell is a genuinely nice guy, even if he comes across as quite arrogant at times. He's certainly very different to Molly, and he could very well be good for her!

Thanks for a fantastic review!

Sian :)

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Molly's answer will be no! I can feel it! He is such a self absorbed guy! I mean, I can totally relate to Molly. She seems like my kind of girl. When I have a job to do, there is no room for error.

I knew she was Percy's daughter from the beginning. When she said "talking to the Minister himself" I just knew this was a spawn of Percy Weasley!

The plot you have here seems very interesting so far. These two are complete opposites and he seems like the kind of guy who is used to having girls throw themselves at him.

I loved the humor in this story. A romantic comedy is always the best to read. I liked your use of vocabulary and I couldn't spot any grammar or spelling mistakes! Good job dear!

Ral :)

Author's Response: Hello Ral!

I'm so pleased you could tell that it was Molly and that she was Percy's daughter. She's definitely got some of his personality mixed in with her own, although she isn't a complete copy of him! Work is extremely important to her, and she definitely doesn't let other things get in the way when she has a job to do.

Although this was my first story, it was really fun to write Molly's no-nonsense attitude. Campbell definitely hasn't made a great first impression here; he's very used to getting his own way. It's certainly different for him when he meets Molly!

Thanks for another lovely review!

Sian :)

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I see Molly has become acquainted with my little friend called denial. Throughout the entire date she keeps denying that she's actually on a date and that she might even like Cyrus.

I love the banter that the two of them have going back and forth (and I love this story as well but I won't squeal about it). It just seems so natural and it kind of reminds of me of what James and Lily must've been like when they got married (and it reminds me of my parents on a daily basis but I won't go into that).

One of my favourite things was the little things that Molly added near the end.

"It's a surprise." I do not do surprises.

"Come on Molly. Be spontaneous." I don't do spontaneous either.

That was my favourite part throughout this entire chapter! Anyway, I absolutely love this story and keep up the great work!

Author's Response: Hi! It's great to see you got a chance to come back!

Molly does denial very well, mostly because admitting those sorts of things would make her vulnerable, and that sort of thing terrifies her.

The banter was so fun to write! I really love writing the way they interact with each other and I'm so pleased that it came across as natural.

Oh, that was one of my favourite parts too! Thanks for the lovely review!

Sian :)

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Hi! Just thought I'd say how original and cool this story is, and it's so so warming to bury in to, and captivat you! First paragraph had moi capturd and ti amo how much 'hönhe' you put in to molly and Campy :) cosquillas fights for victory! Good plot structur, and ovarall, amazing chactarisation and discription!! Sorry it's so short! But it's basically a toll und spitze chap! Woo!

Author's Response: Hi Sophie!

I was tempted to try and answer this without using the letter E as well, but since I already had to leave a review earlier, I decided it's not worthy putting myself through it all again!

I'm very glad that you thought this chapter was a original and cool - thanks for the review!

Sian :D

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Wait, WHAT?? It's over??!?! No!

Okay, that little tirade over, but I'm sad! I didn't realize it was set to completed! :(

This was a brilliant last chapter, however. You really tied together all the loose ends and summarized the last six months to make sense with the present. I really liked the simplicity of the line "A lot has changed in the last six months. And I really do mean a lot." Not only has Molly's job and relationship status changed, but she's changed as a person. She's happy, and doing something she loves, and finding her own place and identity in the world instead of being swept along by mundane ambition. Even the language of her narration seems a lot more carefree, and less uptight than the language in the first couple of chapters, so well done with that! :)

Another example of that change is how Molly actually approved of the dragon training centre in Britain, whereas uptight Molly would have never understood. Getting Cynthia to approve it was very sneaky of those two! :P

All the details of Molly's work day and her job are really interesting! I love the details, like what kind of dragons are there, and her new co-workers like Shelly, which helps give the piece even more depth and personality. The picking out apprentices made me laugh, but hey, who wouldn't want to be a dragon handler?!? (well other than Molly). Can I be one, please?? :P

Molly and Campbell are just so adorable together, and I like how happy they make each other. It still surprises me a bit how they never fight, but hey, maybe they do but it's so inconsequential and therefore doesn't make it into Molly's narration! This was a wonderful story (and I'm sad it's over already!), and I'm really glad I read it. Amazing job!!! :)

Author's Response: Aw I'm sorry you didn't realise it was set to completed - I hope it wasn't too much of a disappointment!

I really wanted to tie up the loose ends with this final chapter, and reveal what has actually changed in her life, because it is a lot. Molly did seem to find her identity in something she would never have looked towards beforehand. That's not to say that her relationship is defining her, but rather it has opened her mind to possibilities she'd never considered before.

Molly was quite surprised at finding out how much she enjoyed working at the centre, and of course, with her organisational skills, she's very good at it! She never really got on with her colleagues at the Ministry, so I wanted her to have a friend at work. Shelly is someone else who she'd probably never have considered that she could be friends with, but again meeting Campbell has changed her outlook.

(Molly wanted me to give you the message that interviews take place next Monday; if you are successful you'll begin training at the start of June. She also says please don't bother if your interests are similar to those listed by other applicants in the story.)

Molly and Campbell are still in the honeymoon period of their relationship, because everything happened so fast. There are some disagreements and arguments, but it's nothing compared to what Molly's experienced in the past, so she doesn't feel it's worth mentioning.

Thank you so much for all the fantastic reviews, and for taking the time to review each chapter! I'll make it back to TGfS soon!

Sian :)

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This was such an exciting chapter, I loved it! First of all, I really enjoyed the descriptions of Muggle travelling, and how secretive they're being about the whole thing. Molly's determination not to tell her family seems a little unfair, but then again she's not that close with them and wants her wedding to be about her and Campbell, not the fuss of her family.

I think one of the funniest parts of your story is how Campbell has so many fangirls, like Mona and Cynthia and the Romanian girls. It's just so funny, and I feel like Molly definitely deserves to be a little smug! :P

I love the thought and detail you've put into the descriptions of the dragon colony, and the effort involved in getting there. It makes the story more realistic (despite the fact that they're visiting dragons and can do magic, but... you know). For some reason I really appreciated that their Apparition licenses don't work in Romania: I find the wizarding world can be way too easy to navigate, and adding these little complications and set-backs makes the story so strong.

Aw, Charlie! I'm really glad he was in on the wedding and offered to give Molly away, it was just so sweet. I feel as if Charlie was probably a little gleeful to go behind Percy's back. :P

I think their wedding was perfect! It suited both Molly and Campbell's relationships, and was all about them and their love for each other, not spending lots of money and making a big fuss and having a designer wedding dress. I loved it, and definitely approve.

I wish I could have some CC for you but this story is just so thought-out and concise, and your writing style is very eloquent and clear, I just can't think of anything!! :P Great job with this, as always!! :D

Author's Response: I think the reason that Molly was determined not to involve her family in the wedding was because they always steal the limelight. She knows that it's not their fault, but at the same time she can't help wishing it was different. Even though she got her job on her own merit, she's always worried that it was because of her connections at the Ministry. Her wedding and her relationship with Campbell are two of the things that are entirely her own.

Well, Campbell was an international rock star, so he's bound to have fangirls everywhere. I'm pretty sure Molly deserves to be a bit smug about it!

Imagining the dragon colony was one of my favourite parts of this chapter. I was a bit worried that it would seem like I was just inventing problems and setbacks for their journey, but I didn't want it to be easy or simple for them to get away.

Charlie was one of those additions that happened when I was writing the story - I couldn't let Molly get married without any of her family there! I think Charlie probably knew what Percy's reaction would be, and wanted to let Molly do what she wanted, even if it was crazy (for once!).

Thank you so much for a brilliant review! They always make my day because they're so thoughtful and nice to read!

Sian :)

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Oh Merlin what a story!
I've read through a few HPFFs but this one has to be my favourite by far. It has its own little charm and fantastic characters. the author has some serious talent!!! a beautiful little story with characters you can't help but love. I'm really sad it has finished now but I'll certainly be on the look out for other stories written by them. My ONLY issue is the grammar I would recommend getting a beta to read through it, because it does spoil it slightly which is a great shame.
But this really is a fantastic story and I would recommend it to anyone who just wants to read something good. (but don't be fooled into thinking its a mushy romance).
fabulous absolutely fabulous and I shall keep my eye out for more of your work!
Anne_noymous

Author's Response: Hi!

Thank you so much for all the lovely reviews you've left on this story, they really made my day! I'm seriously very flattered to hear that this is your favourite story on the site, because there are some truly wonderful stories here on the archives.

I'm really glad you enjoyed it and (in a weird way) that you were sad it ended, because that means I'm doing my job as a writer. It's nice to know it didn't come across as a mushy romance, because I didn't want it to be soppy. Thanks again!

Sian :)

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lovin' the one liners! this story really is beautiful, a great pace, brilliant characters, shocks and surprises...hang on why am I writing this reviews I've got to find out what happens next!

Author's Response: Haha I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter. The one-liners were really fun to write, as were the characters. Thanks for the review!

Sian :)

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Well, that escalated quickly!!!

Okay first I'd like to comment on Felicity and how much I like her. She seems to complement Molly really well and be a good base for her, especially considering her crazy family. I liked the hints that being in a relationship had changed Felicity as well: like how her books used to be messy on the floor, but were now properly stacked, and how she's more enthusiastic about relationships. I'm glad, though, that Molly has still retained her cynical attitude and isn't a particularly soppy romantic type, which makes me like her even more! :)

I also like the world of post-Hogwarts life you've portrayed here. So many fanfics focus on the Next Generation kids being at Hogwarts, but I love how Molly is an adult with mobility in the world beyond Hogwarts.

Okay, now this proposal. I actually think it was pretty cute, and fit with the spontaneity that Campbell brings into Molly's life. I think they would work well together, even though it's only been a month, and is there really any rush? I mean, she could follow him to Romania without getting married, right? But it's definitely pretty exciting for them to elope, I will say!

I'm excited to find out her family's reactions (if Molly even tells them!), and what Molly will think of all this, and of course to meet the dragons!!! Great job, again! :)

Author's Response: Felicity was the sort of person that I thought Molly would be friends with; they have quite a lot in common, but Felicity has always been more outgoing than Molly. They kind of stuck together through Hogwarts to protect against the more 'girly' girls. I couldn't have Molly changing her cynical attitude because of a relationship, though!

I agree that a lot of fanfics focus on the Next Gen kids at Hogwarts, but I thought that it was pretty unlikely for all of them to find love during their school years, which is one of the reasons I wanted to set this story after that.

I agree about the proposal - there's definitely no real rush and they've only been together a month. But Campbell and Molly insisted and I couldn't break their hearts by splitting them up!

Thanks for another great review!

Sian :)

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Hi! I'm back! :)

Again, Molly is so funny and cute with all her worrying and over-analyzing. I liked seeing her crazy and silly side in the park with Campbell, and how she keeps second-guessing herself by getting self-conscious and even saying that her cousins wouldn't believe she had a silly side.

I really like all the little quirks and stories worked into the narrative, like Molly's memories about being tickled and getting in trouble, and how sarcastic she is even when just talking to herself. It's endearing, and makes her even rounder as a character: I feel like she's very well developed, and you really know her so well.

Campbell and Molly just seem like such an adorable couple, comfortable around each other and clearly crazy about each other. I thought at first that it might have progressed too fast, but that's kind of the nature of the story: one crazy moment, Molly being spontaneous and trusting her feelings without over-analyzing them too much. And I liked how you worked in details of the past few weeks together throughout this one scene, which gave a good picture of how they are together and filled out the relationship. :) I do wonder, though, if they're in the "honeymoon" phase and are going to start seeing flaws and difficulties in their relationship soon!

I laughed at the part about becoming an old cat lady, and how she doesn't like cats. Not liking cats definitely fits with the Molly I've gotten to know so far :P Also, I would like to comment on how perfect the name Cyrus Campbell is for a rock star. Even in the wizarding world, that's pretty smooth! :P

Anyway, great job with this as usual! Definitely my favourite chapter so far!! :D

Author's Response: Hi! Sorry it's taken me so long to get around to responding, but I'm getting round to it now!

Molly was one of my favourite characters to write - she was definitely one of those who I had conversations with in my head. I did want to get across the two sides to her personality, because nobody is one-dimensional. It's so good to hear that you think she's well developed!

I think that if this was real life, it definitely would be too fast - but that's the beauty of fiction! They are completely crazy about each other here, which is something Molly's never really experienced before, and it's changing her quite quickly.

Haha I love that line! (Is it arrogant to say that about your own story?) It's something my friends and I always joke about.

I had fun choosing Cyrus' name...I wanted something unusual but not completely made up, and it had to be alliterative. It works pretty well for a rock star, I have to say!

Thanks so much for the lovely review!

Sian :)

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Brilliant, love the humour and I like how you reveal little bits of Cyrus's personality. I only have one issue and thats your grammar I would have mentioned it in the other review but I forgot. It's something you really need to watch out for as it does marr the story telling, and it's so good!
I could learn one or two things off you!

Anne_noymous

Author's Response: I'm not used to writing humorous stories so it's good to know that it worked and you found it funny. Cyrus is one of the favourite characters I've written.

This was the first story I wrote and I need to go back and edit it for grammar mistakes. I feel like my writing's improved a lot since I wrote this!

Thanks for the review!

Sian :)

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The characterization is wonderful I had an immediate connection with Molly, I like how she's very different to most main characters. It's impressive how you are able to make her your own character but still maintain a certain "potterescness" about her.
I think your little snippets and comic jibes intersperse beautifully in the story and the ratios are perfect, just from this chapter alone I am going to put this story on my favourites list. It's fantastic and I would definitely recommend it.
Fantastic and I can't wait to read more!
Anne_noymous

Author's Response: I'm pleased that you were able to connect with Molly at the beginning of the story. I did want to make her my own character but of course she had to have some Weasley traits!

I'm really glad you enjoyed this, and that you liked it enough to add to your favourites! Thanks for the review.

Sian :)

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Hi! :)

So first of all, I'm really enjoying Molly's voice as a narrator. She's so sassy, but also very cynical, even when only addressing herself. I love how she was constantly contradicting her decision to meet him for the "not a date" lunch. She reminds me a bit of Percy, too, whens she says "I'm a professional Ministry worker," as if trying to reassure herself with the statement of these facts.

I love how she overanalyzes everything, like Campbell showing up later than her, but not too early. And then of course she thinks that she'll "try out" being later next time, like other people do, haha! And she's so cute when she realizes that she likes Campbell, and then tries to analyze why she likes him, and then analyzes why she's thinking about it! And now I'm analyzing her too! Gah!

It's very convincing how Campbell likes Molly because she's not obsessed with the idea of him. They like each other because they treat each other like normal people, and I feel like Campbell's spontaneousness (apparently that's a word!) and Molly's liking for organization will actually play off each other really well and make them more compatible.

This is such an original take on a romance, and I really like it so far!! And, I hope Molly gets to meet some dragons!! :D

Author's Response: Hi!

I'm so pleased you like Molly as a narrator! I had so much fun writing her character and her thoughts. She does have a tendency to overanalyse absolutely everything, which makes it very difficult for her to do something like have a conversation with someone she doesn't know. There's also the problem that quite often, the filter between her brain and her mouth stops working and she sometimes finds herself saying things that normally would stay in someone's head!

I'm so happy you think it seems convincing for Campbell to like Molly, because even though they're very different they are compatible - in my head, anyway!

Thanks so much for coming back and leaving such a lovely review again! And as for Molly meeting some dragons - well, you'll just have to read on and see :P

Sian :)

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I love this chapter! It's so sweet, and I love the way you describe the chemistry between Molly and Campbell - you make them look like such a cute and believable couple!

The characterisation of Molly is so in depth and realistic - I think it's impossible to not fall in love with her. You can still see streaks of Percy in her now and again, which is awesome, and I think you write her thoughts and emotions incredibly well. The way she kind if contrasts with her sister's spontaneous personality is so original, and how she breaks the stereotypical image of herself. Sorry if that doesn't that make sense!

The plot development is at a perfect pace - quick enough to build suspense and tension, but then slow enough and steady enough so we can take it all in.
The whole last paragraph is such an inventive metaphor about running! I love the way she realises that she's been running TO Campbell - I thought that was a really thoughtful and insightful touch, and added even more depth to their relationship.

Overall, a really engaging, quirky and awesome addition to the story! Plus, you didn't go overboard on the romance and sappiness, you got the balance perfectly.

Sophie :D

Author's Response: Hi Sophie!

Another review? You spoil me! I get so excited every time I see a review from you because your comments are always so lovely!

I'm glad you think they seem like a believable couple. I know what you mean about Molly's character - you managed to get exactly what I was trying to do with her. She does have elements of Percy in her and she behaves a lot like him, but that doesn't define her completely. I wanted the first meeting with Campbell, when Molly goes in all business with no real idea of what to expect, to be the turning point for her in a way.

I'm so happy you think I got the balance right! It's so hard to do and I worried so much that it was too romantic and too sappy when I wrote it, so it's good to know you think it wasn't either.

Thanks for another review!

Sian :)

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Molly and I may be twelve years apart in age (and the fact that I'm real and she's not) but I can already connect with her and her character. Reading this it felt like someone had taken my thoughts and written it down for fictional purposes.

Anyway, moving on from what sounds like an arrogant statement, you've got a couple of grammar errors that I would suggest fixit but other than that it was great! I love the idea of someone working in the dragon department. It's not something that usually find in fanfictions so that was refreshing to read.

Anyway, enough of my rambling, I think you did an awesome job on this.

Author's Response: Hello!

I'm pretty sure that I'd get on well with Molly if she were real, although that may just be because I created her. I'm glad you liked her character because I had so much fun writing her.

I definitely need to go back and fix those errors when I get a chance! Molly working in the dragon department seemed oddly appropriate considering her feelings about the actual creatures. She does love her job, though.

Thanks so much for reviewing!

Sian :)

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Review tag! :)

This is a great start to a story, and I loved how intriguing your summary was. Molly seems like such an interesting next gen character to write about because she generally gets cast as being boring and sensible and Percy-ish, and I'm excited to read how you develop her here.

The writing and sentence structure here does come across as a bit formal and strict, and I think that works just perfectly for Molly's voice!! So, you did an excellent job there with having the form further the content. I'm interested to see if she loosens up in future chapters, and if the language will become a little more flowing and less organized. :)

I absolutely love how of course Molly only knows about pop culture from her roommate's poster: she does remind me a lot of Hermione and the line about marrying "Uncle Ron" made me laugh. Your descriptions of Molly's family relationships made me even happier you picked her to write about: it's so refreshing how down to earth and practical she is, which will make it even more exciting when she gets involved with this Campbell kid.

Speaking of Campbell, I like him so far! I love how he just sprung the question on unsuspecting Molly, and I have a feeling she's going to put up a fight. He also gained bonus points just for being a dragon handler. :)

Author's Response: Hi!

Molly was a really fun character to write about. There is definitely an element of Percy to her character - she is his daughter, after all - but she's also her own person. At this point work is the most important thing in her life and she doesn't get distracted.

It was really interesting to write the relationship with her family, because the majority of stories I read have all the Weasleys being best friends, and I just didn't think that was realistic. Molly is definitely very practical, and that does make it exciting with Campbell.

Ah, Campbell. Poor Molly didn't suspect anything of the sort being asked of her when she arrived at work - or ever, for that matter. And someone like Campbell couldn't leave a rock band to do something mundane and ordinary - that's where the dragon handling comes in!

I'm pleased you enjoyed this chapter, and thanks for a lovely review!

nott theodore :)

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This was one of the cutest stories I have ever read, total honesty. I love Molly's quirks and sarcastic-ness. And obviously, Campbell is to die for. I hope to see many more stories from you in the future!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed the story!

nott theodore :)

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Hello again,

I'm glad Molly agreed to the date, though it certainly doesn't surprise me that Cyrus had to ask more than once to get her to go. Molly's comments are really funny and enjoyable to read. I love how witty and smart you've written her. She's also a very likeable character. I thought it was endearing how she was so nervous for the date and didn't want to appear desperate by arriving too early. This line was amazing, "Just because I didn't let his looks influence my decision about the training centre, doesn't mean I can't appreciate them now. And if I'm honest, there's a lot to appreciate." I think there's a bit of a girly side that Molly has but she doesn't want to admit to.

I also liked how you keep giving us more background information on her family, like the sprout incident at Christmas. The readers get to know Molly very quickly by how she interacts with her family and her opinion of their actions. Another line I really liked was this one, "Blonde, tanned, and one of those giggly types that annoy me just by looking at me. Which, by the way, is perfectly rational." It seems very fitting that Molly just can't be bothered to put up with the immature antics of her coworkers and people like the waitress.

One suggestion I have would be to work on adding some more description into your chapters. You do a great job with all of the witty dialogue, but I think including more description of Molly's thoughts on the situation and on Cyrus would help to make the reader even more connected with her. I only saw one mistake. This line "Especially when I meet they guys from the band" should read, "Especially when I meet the guys from the band."

The arguing and bantering that you described seems to suggest the two definitely like each other, though I get the impression Molly will not be admitting that to Cyrus. I'm really curious to know if Cyrus knows about Molly's family and just doesn't recognize her as their relative or what the situation is. I would think Cyrus would actually be kind of relieved that Molly can somewhat relate to him though. This was another great chapter! I can't wait to see where Cyrus is going to be taking Molly next.

Alli

Author's Response: Hi!

I had a lot of fun writing Molly's character. One of the things that I enjoyed the most were those sorts of comments - we all think those sort of things (or at least, I think we all do...) but the filter between Molly's brain and her mouth doesn't always work. There's definitely a girly side to her, but she doesn't often show it.

When I get the chance I'm definitely going back to edit this, because there are a lot of improvements I know I could make. Thanks for pointing out that error because I hadn't seen that!

Molly and Cyrus do like each other, but as for where they go next...well, you'll have to read and find out! ;)

nott theodore :)

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Hey there!

I'm back for more of your fabulous writing. The first thing I noticed about this story is that it's very different from your other one-shot. You really know how to change your writing to fit the mood and tone of a story. Your writing style for this story is very easygoing and pleasant to read. I found myself whipping right through the chapter and never losing focus with what was going on in the story.

I'm actually sitting in my office at work right now while I read this (shh, don't tell) so I could immediately connect with the typical office behavior that you described. The girls not doing their job because they're too busy gossiping is something I can definitely relate to. I thought you expressed the daily frustrations of Molly's job well. I enjoyed how you contrasted Molly's professional behavior with the immaturity of her coworkers. I especially loved this part, "There are three witches stood outside in the corridor who look ready to pounce as soon as he leaves. Even Mike, who is normally the most laid-back person I know, is sitting up straight in his seat and seems to be trying to look cool." I'm picturing the whole office coming to a standstill because of a semi-popular, attractive person entering the room which is a hilarious sight.

One aspect of the story I think you could work on is trying to vary your writing so it's not just Molly telling the reader everything we need to know. It's often effective to show the reader the traits of your character instead of just saying them so the reader is more engaged in the story and has to work a bit to figure out all the layers of the character's personality. For example, you tell us that Molly isn't a people person. You could also relay this information by showing the readers that she's uncomfortable interacting with the girls outside her office or with Campbell. This tactic would hopefully also cut down on a bit of the repetition you have with starting sentences with I. That can definitely be a hard thing to avoid when writing in first person.

With that being said, I thought the characterization of Molly was really great. I love that she has a bit of a witty and sarcastic attitude to her when she is talking about her meeting with Campbell and how impossibly bright and flashy his smile is. I also like that she is professional in her position and refuses to be swayed by charm or good looks. For being a completely new character to the reader, I already feel like I have a good grasp on her personality, which is impressive after only the first chapter.

There were a few mistakes I noticed - "There's still have half an hour before my day starts" should read, "There's still half an hour before my day starts." For this line, "But I since still think the idea is completely crazy and barely feasible," you can remove the word 'since'. Also, for this line, "Although I find my job fascinating, most of my family start talking loudly" the word 'start' should be changed to 'starts'.

Overall I'm really enjoying this story so far! I think you have a great start going with this story, and I can't wait to see where this is going! I will certainly be reviewing the next chapter soon.

Alli

Author's Response: Hi Alli!

This is a very different story to Nick's! I wrote this when I was reading a lot of next gen fluff and I think the story definitely reflects that. Molly's a very fun character to write. She's definitely not the sort of person to let Campbell's charms interfere with her work - it's all business with her.

I actually went back and edited a few mistakes recently, but thanks for pointing those out as well, because I hadn't seen them! I think my writing has improved in the few months since I wrote this story, and I do need to edit that; I've realised it gets quite repetitive with 'I' and I do want to 'show rather than tell'. There's a long way to go here!

I'm happy you liked my description of the office. People have a tendency to act quite ridiculously when celebrities are involved, and it was fun to work that into the typical office environment.

I'm pleased that you're enjoying it so far, and I'll look forward to hearing your thoughts on the next chapter. Thanks for taking the time to read and review!

nott theodore :)

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Hi!
I've never read anything like this until now, so this was kind of new genre to me, but still I enjoyed it. :) I liked the way you wrote the office chit chat and even the descriptions were nice. Though I thought I would've enjoyed this even more in past tense. Don't worry about it by the way, I personally don't fancy present tense that's it. I just told you my opinion. =]

Ashwini

Author's Response: Hi!

I'm glad you enjoyed it even if it isn't the sort of thing you normally read. Sometimes it is nice to try something new :)

I did begin writing this story in past tense, and usually all my stories are in past tense, but this one seemed to flow better for me writing in present. I thought it kind of reflecting the idea of living in the moment.

Thanks very much for the review!

nott theodore :)

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