Reading Reviews for The Pink Hippogriff Café
  
37 Reviews Found

Review #1, by patronus_charm (Daphne's Story)

22nd June 2013:
Bethany! I was really excited when I saw the chapter title as I had a feeling that Daphne was hiding something and the big reveal scene to it was really wonderful :D

I really liked the childhood scenes as you wrote them really well and they warmed my heart. I think it was the way Daphne pitied Pansy at first which was really shocking as I didn’t expect that at all. Then the part about the train and the sorting hat was really nice too as it balanced out their friendship and put them on equal ground which is different to how it ended.

The sense of fear and worry you created throughout the battle of Hogwarts was really brilliant. It reminded me of people during WWII being in an air raid shelter waiting to see if there house had been bombed or not. I really liked this line in it ‘I remember the five of us hovering like spectres in that cold kitchen’ it had wonderful imagery ♥

The way you described the names of the deceased being read out was really cold and sparse in language which worked really well for the setting and their emotions. I liked how you put a lot of emphasis on their reactions to it as that really was the turning point for both of them. It made sense that Pansy’s parents died as it helps me understand her actions in the present.

Then even though they were united for a little while with their little pranking, I could almost tell that they were going to take drastically different parts. My heart warmed when I heard about how Daphne’s life improving and I didn’t even know what happened to her as a result of giving Pansy the key so the fall out was even worse in that respect.

I honestly had no clue that Daphne had been to Azkaban and you kept that really well hidden. I really pitied her in that bit as you described her pain really well and the thing which got to me was Theo’s shame in her as it made me want to know how they ended up being friends and I was really happy when I found out how :D

I liked the descriptions of Azkaban and it was nice how you tied it into the reforms that Hermione had been making. The idea of the counsellor was really good and I liked all the descriptions you went into for Niamh as it really added to her. Overall, I really thought this chapter was brilliant and I loved learning more about her past, I’m eagerly awaiting the next now :D

-Kiana

Author's Response: I feel very bad for a mammoth amount of time I've let elapse before responding to this review. It's turned out to be a pretty busy month, and I've been away a lot, but I'm finally here to say thank you to you for leaving me another totally awesome review!

I did enjoy writing all that childhood politics stuff. Daphne and Pansy have such a fraught relationship that was fun to explore.

I'm so glad that you liked the Battle of Hogwarts part of this (I was quite pleased with it!) That WWII comparison hadn't occurred to me, but I can totally see what you mean. I hadn't actually planned for Pansy's parents to die, but when I wrote that scene, it just seemed like the logical thing to have happened- it's good to hear that it works!

I tried to put in little hints about Daphne's Azkaban past, but clearly that sort of failed! Oh well, hopefully you enjoyed finding out anyway?! It actually made me sad to write Theo's shame in her, but I knew they were going to be okay in the end, so that was fine, haha.
I definitely think that Azkaban would have been different after the war... and that Hermione wouldn't have stood for things as they were! I like to think that wizards would have realised that people like Daphne need counsellors, not gaolers, and so Niamh was born! :P

I'm so, so glad that you enjoyed this chapter, as there's quite a lot of stuff in it, plus I know it's all presented kind of differently from the rest of the story! Thank you for this simply awesome review! (you do a good line in them :P) ♥

-Bethany


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Review #2, by Lululuna (Daphne's Story)

22nd June 2013:
I loved this, and I think the style told the story just perfectly. You've been building up to what Daphne did for so many chapters, and this chapter answered all my questions while still leaving more to be revealed and discovered. I thought the explanations for Daphne and Pansy's closeness was very beautifully written, and fit well with why Pansy has such a sway over her. I really liked Daphne saving a place for Pansy at the Slytherin table- the Sorting is such a seminal moment, and reminded me of how it really does determine these kids' friends for the rest of their time at Hogwarts. That little image was very powerful somehow. The comparisons with how Daphne used to be - pleasing her mother, not really caring, being self-involved and not seeing the bigger picture - were so interesting, and really rounded her out as a character who recognizes her own faults and how she has grown yet remained stuck in the past.

You really told the struggles and doubts of a full lifetime in a few short yet powerful words, and I truly commend you for that! I feel I know Daphne so much better now. The descriptions of the battle of Hogwarts and its impact on the Slytherins was the perfect length in my opinion, and it shows how their story didn't end then, but the scars continued to hurt people like Daph and Pansy.

And Daphne was in Azkaban! I would not have expected that, though I feel it might even have been a good thing in rehabilitating her and allowing her to have penance and potential closure for her actions. But the description of the "Granger Reforms" was brilliant, and let me know what Hermione has been up to without even mentioning her: it was a nice way of having the world of HP and this story intersect.

The only advice I have is that the chapter is a bit consistent with how it addresses Astoria, sometimes in third person and sometimes as if Daph is speaking directly to her sister, so it might be less confusing to stick to one! :) She could even say "you, Astoria," instead of "Astoria" and it would flow well I think. Also, did you consider if one of the people Pansy etc. had attacked had died? It might be more severe, but would kind of make the attack even worse and Daphne's guilt even more valid. Though I guess then they might have never gotten out of Azkaban, but just a thought I had! :)

Another amazing chapter my dear, and I can't wait to see Astoria's reaction, how Theo and Daphne will continue, what's going to happen with Pansy... so excited! :)

Author's Response: I can't believe how long I've let this awesome review go unanswered- I've been away a lot this month, and everything's got a bit crazy, but I am sorry for leaving it so long!

I'm so, so glad that this chapter worked for you. I was pretty nervous about it as there are some fairly major reveals, and the style is fairly different to the rest of the story, and I'm just so happy to hear that it all makes sense to you!

Because this story is pretty character driven, making Daphne (and Pansy) a rounded person with understandable motivations was pretty necessary, so I'm just so incredibly glad that that works!

Writing the Battle of Hogwarts from a Slytherin perspective was something I found fascinating, because of course for them it's not a happy ending at all, and after that there's still a whole lot of stuff to deal with- I guess for both sides, but more obviously for the Slytherins. The thing that gets me about the war in the books is just how young all the characters are while these awful events are going on, and I guess I wanted to show the effect of all that...

Hmmm, would you say it was a good thing that you wouldn't have guessed about Azkaban? I tried to put in little hints without making it too obvious, but maybe that didn't quite work...? Either way, I think you sum up there exactly what prison did for her! Ahh and I'm glad you picked up on the Granger reforms bit. I love Hermione, and I like the idea that she could be indirectly doing Daphne some good! haha

I totally get what you mean about the way Astoria is addressed- I'll definitely go back and iron that out, so that it makes more sense.
Hmmm, I hadn't actually considered if one of the victims had died... I'll have to think about that because it would- as you say- validate Daphne's guilt, but I don't know if the prison sentence would have been significantly longer... Hmmm...

Thank you so, so much for another fantastic review. It's wonderful to have your support for this story, and I will update when everything calms down a bit! Thank you again!

-Bethany


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Review #3, by miluv (Daphne's Story)

22nd June 2013:
so, so good. i totally get her actually being kind of comfortable in the prison, because it was like a required escape from the world, know what I mean? Anyways, amazing as usual, you're the best. love youu
xox miluv

Author's Response: Aww thank you so much, this really put a smile on my face! I'm very glad that you think her prison experience was realistic, and I hope you'll keep reading! ♥

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Review #4, by 0MlCdeFT3v Carrot Cake

21st June 2013:
- Donna, Honey these pictures are ttloaly awsume. You are still the beautiful lady with all the confidence in the world. The twins are 2 beautiful to even find the words. I always knew, ALWAYS that great things were in store for you. I love you child. God Bless you and your wonderful heart..And last but not least, HAVE A WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS. you are truly a treasure. Rosey

Author's Response: Errm, okay...? Did you mean to post this here, as you kind of sound like you're referring to something/one else? Anyway, thanks for leaving a review... I think...!

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Review #5, by Beem Ginger Tea

15th June 2013:
I love this story :) excited to read the rest! Well done! I hope Theo and Daphne get together :)

Author's Response: Oh, I'm so glad that you like it- I've pretty much finished it now, so updates should be happening fairly fast! About Daphne and Theo, you'll just have to wait and see ;) (but I'm a sucker for a happy ending) ♥

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Review #6, by UnluckyStar57 Cheese On Toast

12th June 2013:
Hi! I'm here again for the Blue vs. Bronze review battle. :)

I'm going to be honest with you... I actually read the rest of this story one day shortly after I reviewed your first chapter--It was just too good for me to NOT come back to! But I didn't review, and so now I'm going to make up for that! :D

I love how you've established the sibling dynamic between Daphne and Astoria. Though they haven't lived close together for many years, somehow they still know each other. Daphne doesn't seem too resentful that Astoria showed up out of the blue, she understands that Astoria was pulling herself out of a bad situation. And even though her arrival interferes with Theo and dinner, Daphne willingly gives her a place to sleep. It's the kind of relationship that I wish I had with my sister, but I don't.

Your description and scene-setting is marvelous. I like how you give us bits of information that are important, and leave the rest to the imagination. Seriously, may I visit the Pink Hippogriff? Since it doesn't exist, I think you should open one. With magic and stuff. You ARE a wizard, right? :)

...Ahem. Anyways...

Theo sounds really adorable, nerdy, and sweet. It's really awesome that he defies the Death Eater stereotype and has gone to work against people that he hung around with at Hogwarts. I can't wait to see where his and Daphne's relationship goes... I hope it heads in the direction of love and other things, but I can't be too hopeful. After all, Daphne just had to cancel dinner! And I hope that Theo likes her back just as much as she likes him, because I think they would be good for each other.

And how could I not mention the big reveal of Astoria's soon-to-be-ex-husband?! Adrian Pucey?! That's amazing! I remember thinking at the end of chapter one that it would be Draco, but you've got other plans in mind. :) Adrian is, if I remember correctly, a very minor Slytherin character, maybe on the Quidditch team at Hoggy Hoggy Hogwarts? I think it's brilliant that you've pulled him out of the woodwork to play a big role in this story. It's very unique and original of you! :)

Another awesome chapter! Hopefully I'll be back later to review more! :D

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Hey there! I'm sorry for the belated response!

Oh, I'm so glad that you've been reading and enjoying this! Really, that's great to hear!
What you say there about Daphne and Astoria is *exactly* what I hoped people would get, so naturally it's pretty amazing to hear! They're no longer close, but there's not getting rid of that childhood bond!

I have to admit that since writing this, I've become of overpowered with the desire to create a Pink Hippogriff of my own. Cos, yeah, I'm totally a wizard ;) hehe

Aww yes, that's exactly how I wanted Theo to come across. You'll have to wait and see about any lurve between Theo and Daphne, but I do like happy endings, so yeah! I'm glad you think they'd be good for each other! (I do too :P)

Wow you're observant! Yes, Adrian is a magnificently minor character who I thought would do for Astoria. One of the things I love about JKR's world is how all the names, and the families connect up, so I was trying to stay true to that...

I'm soso glad that you liked this, and took the time to leave such an awesome review! It's one of those really amazing reviews, because all the things you've picked up on seem to be exactly the things I was trying to get across. So thank you! And I hope you enjoy the next chapters...! ♥ ♥

-Bethany


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Review #7, by PitchBlue Cheese On Toast

9th June 2013:
Hey!

I liked to read more about Daphne's and Astoria's relationship, it was nice to get to know them a bit. You got me curious when Astoria gave a comment along the lines of 'you needed it', I like these little kind of hints where you don't reveal anything yet. So I thought this was a good chapter and it was nice to get to know the main characters a bit more!

Author's Response: Hello! It's great to see you back!

Ahh I'm glad you like the development of Daphne and Astoria's relationship, and all the little hints! Thank you so much for taking the time to review! ♥


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Review #8, by patronus_charm Ginger Tea

8th June 2013:
This story gets more and more awesome with every tea reference in it. This one was brilliant ‘ A good cup of milky tea cheers everything up’. I think that’s one of the best things about reading a story by a British author as they understand the importance of tea in our society unlike authors from other countries!

No they had an argument! I don’t really know who to agree with here as they’re both right and then they’re both wrong at the same time. I’m leaning more towards Theo as I can imagine that would have a good showdown included with it and that’s always fun to watch! Then there’s Daphne’s argument that she didn’t actually do anything which is true I guess, but that doesn’t mean that they’re not going to.

I really liked how you portrayed Daphne after the argument as you showed her emotions really well. I guess she still feels a certain level of loyalty to Pansy and co. due to them being her friends but then they’re doing something wrong. Then there’s the whole confusion over Theo and what she should do with him and you managed to balance it all really well and I didn’t get confused at all.

Aw Astoria was so cute when she came back with Draco. I really love how you’re showing their blossoming romance as I’ve always wondered how those two met and fell in love and I never imagined it to be such a spur of the moment thing, but it’s really great. I really like seeing how much Astoria’s grown and developed and leaving Adrian really did her wonders if she can now stand up to suspected Death Eaters.

Ah cliff-hanger or what? I never suspected Pansy to have such an evil and menacing side to her and I don’t really want to know what she could have done as it’s worrying to think about! That was a really great chapter, Bethany, and I’m looking forward to the next ♥

-Kiana

Author's Response: Haha, I'll keep the tea references coming then! I agree, it's fundamental to British society :P

I'm glad that you can see both sides of the argument. Although, like you, I think that Theo's probably in the right, I was hoping that Daphne would sound reasonable too.

I think you've summed up Daphne's emotions perfectly there! I'm very glad that you didn't get confused as this chapter was an absolute nightmare to write, and at several point *I* was getting confused about what was meant to be going on! haha

Oh I'm so glad that you liked Astoria in this chapter. I liked the idea of having it as a spontaneous thing for both of them- the pureblood families don't really seem to do "spontaneous." It's great to hear how you think Astoria's developed as a character!

Sorry- I do like my cliffhangers! :P I'm quite enjoyed contrasting Pansy's simpering, girly side with her scheming, slightly evil one, and I promise all will be revealed in the next chapter...!

Thank you again for such a wonderful review (and I'm sorry I took so long to reply!) It really means a lot. ♥

-Bethany


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Review #9, by patronus_charm A Dozen Gillywaters

8th June 2013:
I meant to catch up with this the other day and then I saw your status about reviews and it reminded me :P And there’s two chapters up as well. I’m meant to be revising so I’ll probably on read one now, but I’ll be back for the other :)

I literally just did this myself – ‘Just good, English breakfast tea, elegant yet comforting, with one of her mini digestive biscuits on the side.’ I totally get where Daphne’s coming from, and now it’s making me crave more tea and biscuits!

I got really excited seeing Adrian Pucey as I always wanted to know what Astoria’s husband looked like. When they were sitting I felt it was so awkward and you wrote awkwardness really well, as it made me cringe and what to hide behind something as opposed to reading on. In fact, I thought you got all the emotions/reactions really well in that chapter, especially Theo’s when he was sticking up for Pansy and I couldn’t help but aw over him.

I have to disagree with Daphne for once with this line ‘Even she had to admit that the blood traitor arguments were getting old.’ They were old when they began! Oh well, it’s nice to see that she isn’t siding with them as I was intrigued about what she was going to do. I really like the idea that Pansy’s taken on the role of evil ringleader as I’ve never seen her take it on before. In all the stories I’ve read it’s been Blaise for some reason so this is a nice change :)

Ooh we got to find out more about her father. I wondered what had happened to him so it was nice seeing it here. I really liked the backstory you gave him, as it showed that he was a complex character and I got that in the feelings Daphne felt towards him.

Yay Draco’s here! I literally squealed when he spoke up, due to me maybe being a little bit in love with him or cough Tom Felton cough. Then when he came out with this line ‘your arguments are about as hollow as Ginny Weasley’s head’ I squealed again as it was nice to see we’re united in our hate for Ginny.

Then when Astoria chimed in it was great and I can see the foundations of their relationship even if he should be with me :P The whole staring at each other and Astoria asking him to go out with her was perfect as I’ve never seen her being the instigator in this relationship before but I really like the change and I think it suites her a lot more.

That was a great chapter Bethany, and I’ll forget about revision for a little longer so I can read the next chapter!

-Kiana

Wow looking over the review it somehow ended up to be insanely long!

Author's Response: Hello there! It's lovely to see you back- and thankyou for such a wonderful, insanely long review! ♥

Hehe well she is English, I had to get a few tea references in there!

I'm so glad that you thought the awkwardness between Adrian and Astoria came off well- although if it made you want to hide instead of reading, it's possibly a bit counter-productive? :P I'm glad you aw'd over Theo. I aw'd over him while I was writing it, but I don't think it counts if it's just the author doing it- so thanks for mentioning that!

I definitely agree with you about the blood traitor arguments, but unfortunately Daphne hasn't had all the advantages of being shown how awful they are. I liked the idea of Pansy as an evil ringleader, as in fanfiction she's normally just shown as Draco's adoring girlfriend- also I thought she'd play better against Daphne...

Oh good, I'm glad you like the backstory about Daphne's dad!

Hey, not fair, I want Draco/Tom Felton! :P Ahh I'm glad you liked the line about Ginny, and that you can see the attraction between him and Astoria- I'm not sure that she'd have been happier with being anything but the instigator here, to be honest!

I'm so glad that you enjoyed this. You always write such awesome reviews, they make me so happy! And who needs to do revision anyway? :P ♥

-Bethany


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Review #10, by Lululuna Ginger Tea

7th June 2013:
Aw, a shout-out?! You are so sweet, and it's of course a pleasure to review your story! :D

I really liked this chapter and how well it flowed off the last one, and I'm very curious as to what exactly Daphne did under Pansy's influence! Daphne is just growing as a character and becoming more confusing (in a good, deep way): she's such an intrinsically good person and recognizes her faults, but knows she can't prevent herself from having said faults. I feel quite bad for her, but I think she's stronger than she gives herself credit for. :)

The fight with Theo was... frustrating. I think Theo's right, that Pansy should be reported and stopped, although she was very confident and so I'm concerned she's holding something over people's heads or has some special punishment and evasion planned out for anyone who opposes her. So I hope Theo's careful, and I don't blame Daphne for being nervous and conflicted about reporting her best friend.

Astoria is great, as always. I think she and Draco would make such an amusing couple, with her being flighty and passionate and him being dry and depressing: can't wait to see more of them! :) I also really liked Astoria's reasoning about why the current government is fine: nobody gets hurt, and that, not power, is what matters.

Looking forward to the next chapter! :D

Author's Response: Aww well it's been a pleasure to get all your wonderful reviews! ♥

I'm so glad that you liked this chapter, and that you're curious about Daphne and Pansy (all will be revealed in the next chapter, I promise!) You have no idea how happy it makes me that you like Daphne's development as a character- I think you've summed her up perfectly in your first paragraph there, to be honest!

I'm very glad that you liked Daphne and Theo's fight! This chapter- especially that bit- was a complete nightmare to write! Like you, I think Theo's in the right, but I'm glad that you can see Daphne's side as well!

Ahaha yes- hopefully it'll be opposites attract for Astoria and Draco? It's great that you're continuing to enjoy her, and that you like her political views. I imagined that there'd be a lot of people post-Voldemort with a similar outlook...

Thank you again for this, and all your other reviews! They make me so happy :) Next chapter should be up soon!

-Bethany


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Review #11, by UnluckyStar57 Carrot Cake

3rd June 2013:
Hi! I'm here for the Blue vs. Bronze Review Battle at the forums.

I have to say, this is a really good chapter. I love all of your descriptions and I can just imagine the atmosphere of the Pink Hippogriff. It's a very charming place!

Daphne's characterization is really good. She seems like a marvelous character, and she doesn't sound very cliched. I can't wait to meet Theo, to see if he's worth her attentions!

And then, Astoria comes into the picture, ruining Daphne's picturesque scene. She's left Draco, I'm guessing? It will be very interesting to see how her relationship with Daphne develops over the course of the story.

I'm definitely going to read more of this story because it was just so charming. Great work! :)

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Hello! Thank you for reviewing!

Ahh I'm glad you like the Pink Hippogriff! Ooh, 'charming' is such a lovely description! :P
I'm very glad that Daphne doesn't come off as cliche; I've tried to make her as three dimensional as possible... Haha, well if you get round to reading the next few chapters, you can examine Theo and see what you think of him!

It's not actually Draco that Astoria's left, but he will crop up later! Daphne and Astoria's relationship has actually turned into one of the main plot points of the story, so I'm glad that you're already interested in that!

Thanks again for such a great review! I hope you keep reading! :)

-Bethany


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Review #12, by PitchBlue Carrot Cake

1st June 2013:
Hello!

So I was browsing for stories and started reading yours, only then to realize you're CalypsoJenna from the forums! Arcade Fire fans unite!

Anyway, I really loved your first chapter. Your descriptions were brilliant and vivid, I could see everything exactly before me. Everything you wrote seemed to give off this kind of atmosphere of cosiness and warmth, even when you weren't describing the cafe.

I love the fact that you set your story in the years after the second war and in a new, different environment. While I love Hogwarts scenes, I find I'm gradually looking for new sceneries and everything. And I love going to tea or coffeeshops in real life so it was nice to read about that.

So, I'll definitely continue reading your story when I take a break from studying!

- PB

Author's Response: Hey there!

Haha that's amazing! Woo- we will take over the world with rock music and an accordian! :P

I'm so pleased that you like the description of the cafe! I have a really clear picture of it in my head, so it's always good to know that it's coming across well!

I'm always interested in what happened to the wizarding world after that second war, especially all the minor characters- as you can see! In fact, I think Post-Hogwarts is probably one of my favourite eras...
Hehe yeah, I based the Pink Hippogriff Cafe on a few little independent tea/coffeeshops in my town!

Thankyou so much for leaving such a lovely review! I hope you continue reading- and that your studying goes well!

-Bethany


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Review #13, by Lululuna A Dozen Gillywaters

28th May 2013:
Gillywaters sound awful! They remind me of that fizzy water business for some reason, but definitely sound like the sort of bland, homogenous drink Pansy would want her little followers to consume. I feel so bad for Daphne, having to put up with them invading the space she's worked so hard to build up, and having to confront the past like this.

It's very interesting that Adrian was there: poor Astoria! The awkward vibe, which Pansy surely relished, was very clear. I liked the line about Pansy loving the fact that all attention was on her: it showed how well Daphne knows Pansy, and says a lot about her character and love of showmanship.

The information about Daphne and Astoria's father was very interesting. Was he called to fight for the Death Eaters, or trying to find his daughters? It was interesting how he was killed by debris, not by a wizard. I loved the description of him as being beautiful and arrogant, and his "beloved daughters."

I liked the description of Draco, and how washed out and unhealthy he seemed. Of course sweet Daphne would prescribe some delicious treats as a cure! I think you succeeded in emulating the old Draco here while putting him in a more regretful, somber post-war position. Well done! :)

I love Astoria here as well: how she rebukes Malfoy's language but is brave enough to speak up. And I think she might have a little crush, though of course I am privy to some spoilers in the HP verse. :P I love how she just walked out, and asked Malfoy if he was coming with her. "Alright then" ... ah, it was wonderful! :)

I'm excited for another update! :)

Author's Response: Hello! And can I say again, how happy it's made me to receive all your wonderful reviews!

Haha, I think that Daphne's taste in drinks is definitely superior to Pansy's! I'm kind of glad you feel bad for Daphne- although in some respects I think it's good for her to have to confront Pansy and her past :)

I'm pleased that the awkwardness between Adrian and Astoria came off- I found it surprisingly difficult to write! You're totally right about Pansy loving it though :P

Daphne and Astoria's father only really took shape as I was writing this chapter, so I'll try and concentrate on developing him more! I think he'd been called to fight for the Death Eaters, but his reasons for doing so were more in the line of protecting his family than vanquishing the Mudbloods so to speak! It's great that you liked the description of him :)

Something I was really, really wary of was writing a lovely, kind, reformed Draco in this, so it's just wonderful to hear that both the old Draco and a post-war Draco come through! I'm so glad!

Hehe I've wanted to write a Draco/Astoria for aages and though they're more of a side-plot here, I was still happy to get a bit in! I'm glad that you picked up on the way Astoria doesn't like his language, but stands up with him. Hopefully she'll do him some good! :P

Thanks again for another brilliant review! I'm planning to post Chapter Seven in the next couple of days, so yeah! :)

-Bethany


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Review #14, by Lululuna Lentil Soup

28th May 2013:
This was a really great chapter, possibly the best yet I think! :) I really like the characterization of Pansy, and how well she fits with the Pansy we know from the books plus some added tribulations and adulthood. The overdone girlyness and enthusiasm, the cruelty and calculation lurking beneath the surface, the expectation to be obeyed... it was perfect. I also loved Daph's observations of the marks Azkaban left on Pansy, and the obvious tensions and wariness between the two old friends. You told a whole story of two lives in a few short words, so well done! :)

I wonder what Pansy wants with poor Eleanor, and I'm very excited for the meeting and what will go down. Theo is so great as well-in the books he's more haughty, at least through Harry's eyes, but I enjoy this light-hearted, relaxed side of him. And Astoria is as entertaining as always, of course. Great job as usual! :)

Author's Response: Ooh the best yet? Wow thankyou! This was originally the first half of the next chapter, so it's good to hear that it doesn't come off too filler...

I love that you like Pansy, and that her characterisation comes off well- it was difficult getting the balance (like you say) of her girlishness and her viciousness. And I can't say how glad I am that the story of Daphne and Pansy feel realistic.

I'm aware that my Theo is a bit different from book-Theo, but my excuse is that we only really see him through Harry's eyes in the books so yeah- I'm glad you liked him. And Astoria.

Thankyou very much for another wonderful review! ♥


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Review #15, by Lululuna Spicy Potatoes

28th May 2013:
Another great chapter, and I'm really excited to find out what happens next. I like Daphne more and more as a character, and her self-acknowledgement that being around Pansy changes her. Very curious for this meeting they're having, and the fact that Pansy and others were in prison. I wonder how they got released, and who else will be attending!

I feel like I can root for Daphne and Theo a little more now, since I've seen some of their interactions and friendship. They seem very cute together, and I'm glad Daph has a friend who understands what she's been through and to (hopefully) take a stand with her against Pansy. I enjoyed his line about respecting Malfoy at school, and their acknowledgement of the links with the other Slytherins. It was very smoothly written and naturally integrated.

Astoria is so funny, I loved how she was sneaking tastes of food when Daphne wasn't looking. I love the sister dynamics, and feel as if you've really brought all these characters to life. Good job, and I'm looking forward to what happens next! :)

Author's Response: Hello again!

I'm glad that you're feeling curious, and that you're liking Daphne as a character! I really enjoyed creating the relationship between her and Pansy, as it's quite a complex one.

Haha I'm glad you're rooting for Daphne and Theo now! I'm not terribly good at writing three dimensional male characters, so I'm pleased that they work together.

Oh I'm so glad you like Astoria- and the bit where she sneaks the tastes of food! This is quite a character-y chapter, so hearing that they all seem lifelike is actually wonderful! ♥

Until next time!


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Review #16, by Lululuna Banana Nut Muffins

28th May 2013:
Is it strange that reading your story makes me hungry? Banana nut muffins would be just great right now... ah well.

I'm very curious about the letter! I was wondering how Daphne fit in with her fellow Slytherins, since she does seem pretty different. I loved the lines about how she doesn't want them to know something she doesn't, it really fit well and created a great deal of suspense.

I really enjoy the descriptions of Daphne's mum, and feel like I can picture her precisely. I like the sisters being a united front against their mother- and pureblood society for that matter. The insult about "consorting with Muggles" just showed how many values haven't changed since the war.

I'm very curious about what's going on in Daphne's head. She seems so amazing, and deserves to see herself that way as well. Guess I'll just have to keep reading! :) Another lovely chapter!

Author's Response: Haha I'm glad you like the food descriptions! They're some of my favourite bits to write!

Ooh I'm glad you're curious about the later- I nearly explained what was in it in this chapter, but decided that it would be more fun for there to be a wait! I can promise a *lot* more on how Daphne fits in with her fellow Slytherins, as she is pretty different from them.

Well Daphne and Astoria had to have something in common - even if it's a shared disdain for their mother! I reckoned that while the war would change public attitudes to Muggles and Muggleborns, private ones would probably be quite similar, and also that Daphne and Astoria's generation would be a bit more accomadating than their mother's...

Thank you so much for this review! It was so lovely to read! ♥

-Bethany


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Review #17, by adluvshp Carrot Cake

28th May 2013:
Hey! Here for review tag.

Ah this was definitely a great start to your story. I like your plot, it seems interesting and sweet. Daphne seems to be a likeable character so far and I like how you've given us all this information about her through her thoughts in the chapter. It feels like I know her quite a bit already which is good =) I am curious to see how things would go between Theo and her, and also what will happen with Astoria's arrival.

So far, you've set the scene well and introduced the whole scenario nicely. I enjoyed this chapter and hope to come back for the next. Great job!

Keep writing!
9/10
Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

P.S. I love the name 'Pink Hippogriff' xD

Author's Response: Hello there!

I'm so glad to hear that you enjoyed this beginning! Developing a plot is something I find really difficult, so it's great that the start of it works well!
It's wonderful that Daphne comes across as likable, and that you feel you've got to know her a bit. There should be much more on her, Theo, and Astoria in the next chapter!

Thank you so much for taking the time to leave such a lovely review! I'm so glad you enjoyed this chapter :)

-Bethany

Ooh brilliant! I'm actually not entirely sure where the name came from, but it's great to know that people like it!


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Review #18, by miluv A Dozen Gillywaters

26th May 2013:
AHH THIS IS SO GOOD!!! UPDATE ASAP

Author's Response: AAHHH THANKYOU SO MUCH! I've basically finished writing this now, so updates should be fairly quick :)

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Review #19, by Lululuna Cheese On Toast

25th May 2013:
Hello my dear, I'm sorry about the lateness of this review as the airport I was at has internet troubles! But I'm here now! :) I remember starting this story and really liking it, but somehow I forgot to get back to it! This chapter flows so smoothly off the first one, and I feel like you kept the tone of the piece going while adding new details to Daphne and Astoria's characters. You write third person very smoothly and descriptively while giving a clear impression of the character's personality, which can be tricky to do! :)

It's interesting that it wasn't Draco who Astoria was leaving: I guess we'll find out more about him in future chapters! The name Adrian Pucey actually sounds vaguely familiar- was he a random student in the HP books? I think you did a really good job of making their breakup seem realistic, and I loved Astoria's comment about her husband being unhappy as well, even if he showed it in different ways. It really demonstrated her character as being very open and obvious, and maybe even a little self-centered. I'm curious to see how Adrian will take her dramatic exit!

Poor Daphne, putting others before herself! I sense that if Daphne had showed up on Astoria's doorstep, Astoria would have still gone out for the dinner, while Daphne would never consider leaving her sister. You've done a really good job of showing the differences between the two sisters, and I loved the line about Astoria's world existing in black and white binaries, while Daphne's decisions are always clouded. It made me wonder if we'll find out more in regards to their positions during the war, and how much it affected Daphne in comparison to Astoria. However, there were also the small details showing how well the sisters know each other and care for each other despite their differences, like Astoria being able to tell that Daph loves Theo. It was sweet! :)

I love the little details you've put into making the wizarding world unique to this story, like Astoria arriving with a full "trunk," and Daphne wearing her dress robes on her night out with Theo. The Floo call to the Ministry made me laugh, especially Daph's annoyance at the operator, it was really well integrated and realistic. I'm excited to learn more about Theo: he seems really likeable so far, and a good match for Daphne, but I'm sure it's not going to be that easy.

I really liked this, and I'll hopefully be back sooner rather than later! Thanks for the swap! :)

Author's Response: Hello there! Wow, first off I've got to say thankyou for this review, and all the other ones I can see sitting above it! It was such a lovely surprise this morning! ♥

I'm glad that you liked the way the last chapter flowed into this one- this is the longest fic I've properly attempted, so the pacing and the plotting are a real challenge for me! I'm glad you like the third person narrative- I'm usually way more comfortable in the first person (and actually, thinking about it, I'm not entirely sure how this ended up in the third person!) so it's good to know that's working!

Yep- Draco makes his appearance later :P Adrian Pucey was a Chaser on the Slytherin Quidditch Team for a bit- so a very, very minor character! I like what you've got about Astoria's character from the break-up, and that it all seemed realistic!

I think Daphne feels a sort of duty of care towards her little sister. I'm so glad that you picked out that line as it kind of sums the two of them up (and I was quite proud of it!) They are very different people, but hopefully over the course of the story, their relationship will evolve...

I'm so pleased that you noticed the little wizarding details, as I try really hard to put them into stories! I think you'll meet Theo in the next chapter, or the one after- it was kind of difficult to fit him in to the early section and their Floo call was one of the ways of doing that, so it's good to know that you enjoyed it!

Thanks again for such a kind, detailed review! It made me so happy- thank you for doing the swap! ♥

-Bethany


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Review #20, by patronus_charm Lentil Soup

24th May 2013:
Hey there Bethany, I’m popping over from the review tag!

I really felt for Daphne in this chapter she was so flustered and panicky and I was starting to feel that too. In fact, I think anyone would if they knew a whole load of Death Eaters were coming to their café. Then there was this line which was definitely not true – ‘he plain, dumpy woman in a fluffy jumper and jeans;’ I think Daphne’s a lovely person and it’s the inside which counts not the out.

I really liked the contrast you created between Astoria and Daphne. I was a bit unsure of Astoria at first but now she’s really growing on me. I think she has this lovely, lively energy and you wouldn’t have thought someone could be so calm with the imminent arrival of possible Death Eaters. It was funny to see her and Daphne’s contrasting reactions to it though.

There was a typo here ‘erShShe was looking’ :)

Pansy’s characterisation was, again, great. Her dialogue really matched what you would expect of someone of her standing so that perfectly complimented the overall effect. She seems really superficial and I hate people like that. Yet, she’s one of those people who I hate so much and find annoying that I’m beginning to like her.

How dare Pansy start questioning Eleanor! She’s really grown on me, and I always liked the little interactions in the café so I hope Pansy’s not planning anything horrible. But this line ‘“You’ll see, Daphne, sweetie,” she promised.‘ doesn’t give me all that much hope. I think it was the patronising ‘sweetie’ on the end which really added to my suspicion.

The only CC I have is the lack of separation between dashes and words. As it appeared frequently I wondered whether you were doing it on purpose but I figured I would point a couple of places where you did it just in case here – ‘and- to Daphne’s relief- Astoria’ and ‘Daphne paused- she had forgotten about Eleanor.’ Other than that it was amazing, and that was only a tiny thing!

Ooh what a cliff-hanger to leave us on, I’m waiting in anticipation to see what on earth could happen! It was a great chapter ♥

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hey Kiana! Finally getting round to responding to your fabulous review! (I always take so long, I'm sorry!)

I'm glad that you found Daphne's reactions believable - Haha, I agree that she needs some self-esteem coaching :P

Yeah, Astoria and Daphne are pretty different... Although she's much less serious, I think she's actually far better grounded that Daphne is - hence why she can stay calm even with the threat of all the wannabe Death Eaters!

Oh gosh, I don't know how I missed that typo! Thanks for spotting it!

You wouldn't believe how glad I am that you're enjoying Pansy's characterisation, and that she seems realistic! Haha yes I sort of like her too in a you're-an-evil-manipulative-criminial kind of way!

More on Pansy and Eleanor in later chapters :P

Oh okay - yeah I am a bit lazy about putting the extra space in with hyphens. I'll try and edit that at some point!

I do like a good cliffhanger! Thank you again for another one of your amazing reviews! ♥

-Bethany


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Review #21, by patronus_charm Spicy Potatoes

22nd May 2013:
Hey there Bethany! I saw you pop up in Ravenclaw Review Tag and decided to come back and revisit Daphne!

I really liked the beginning when Theo arrived at the café. It was really lovely and I kept on feeling these fuzzies about Daphne’s thoughts as they really were adorable. I like how you’re slowly developing their relationship and letting it take its natural course. I much prefer reading as it’s so much more fun seeing the slow progress of them getting there.

I’m really enjoying the addition of Astoria in the story. She adds this light hearted feel to it, and the idea of the party was great. I hope she continues to bring out this feel spirit in Daphne as she needs that to happen. I’m also really eager to see how she and Draco get together. I imagine it’s going to happen at the Death Eater get together Daphne’s being forced to hold.

Back to the Death Eater get together I can’t wait for that, and I’m glad I now know the full contents of the letter, as that had been annoying me not knowing. The letter sounded just like Pansy by the way, and I can imagine her writing it and thinking this was the best idea ever. It’s interesting to speculate how Pansy’s changed and how she’ll react to Daphne, as she doesn’t seem that much of a Death Eater lover.

I only have a few tiny CCs for you. Here ‘o’ clock‘ I think the ‘o‘ and the ‘clock‘ should be joined as one. Then you used a colon quite a lot with speech like here ; A sudden thought caught at her:’ this may just be mean but I think it might look a little better with period or a semicolon instead. That’s just personal opinion though.

Anyhow it was a really enjoyable chapter ♥

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hello Kiana! How lovely to see you back!

I'm so glad that you like the way Daphne and Theo's relationship is developing. Romance isn't my most comfortable genre, so it's good to know that that aspect of the story is working well!

As I think I've said to you before, Astoria is one of my favourite characters to write in this! You're exactly right that she brings out a lighter side in Daphne (and stops her taking herself too seriously), and I'm also hoping that both sisters are sort of learning to value each other. And yes, Draco will be at the meeting :P

It's absolutely wonderful to hear that Pansy sounds in character- I had a lot of trouble finding a good voice for her. I'm glad that you're interested the dynamics between Pansy and Daphne- more of that at the meet-up!

And thank you for your CCs! I'll go back and fix the o'clock thing- I'm not sure about the colon/semicolon thing either, but I'll have a read through and see what seems best!

Thanks again for such a lovely, useful review! (as yours always are!)

-Bethany


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Review #22, by s2rocks Cheese On Toast

21st May 2013:
I'm here with my second review:

Firstly after reading the chapter one, I thought that it was Malfoy whom she left but I am really that it wasn't him because I love Draco, he comes on third of my favorite character list.

Secondly, I liked how Daphne sacrificed her night out just to care for her sister, to do the duty of elder sister.

Astoria looked like she is volatile and Daphne is trying to help her, to ground her.

The breaking of the marriage would be huge and the fault would be all upon Astoria and of course their common friend would support her husband as she left him.

Eleanor looks like gossip queen, searching for hot topic.

“Full on’s the word!” this is the favorite line of this chapter, it looks like Theo cares a lot about her and was very disappointed about the cancellation of the dinner.

Astoria came to know the truth about how much Daphne loved Theo and when she said the place, cafe is warm, it felt that Astoria was herself looking for some warmness, home like feeling.

Another great chapter, feel free to re request :)

-Shell

Author's Response: Hello, Shell! Thankyou for your review!

I'm glad that you weren't disappointed about Draco- I quite wanted to have a go at writing him, so I'm planning for him to appear later! I was trying to sort of establish Daphne as a generally nice person there, so it's good that you liked that! I think you've got Astoria, Daphne and Eleanor perfectly there- Astoria is rather volatile, but so much fun to write!

I'm glad that you liked Theo and Daphne's relationship- I wanted to make it seem natural so yeah... You're right, I think Astoria could do with some warmness!

Thanks again for such a lovely review!

-Bethany



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Review #23, by s2rocks Carrot Cake

21st May 2013:
First of all I would like to tell you that the name of the cafe is quite unique, cool, interesting and well it definitely catches the yes.

Second, I have read other stories about Daphne but your portrayal of her is quite different and nice. I love how you have described the atmosphere of the cafe, how dedicated Daphne is for the work and the efforts is applying.

I have always like the pairing of Theo and Daphne, and the relationship, the friendship you have shown is beautiful. The way he is not embarrassed to be in her presence even when others teased him about it. How he helped her to make her dreams come true.

You have shown how much effort it takes to run a business and hardship the owner has to suffer while trying to maintain the balance of everything.

'the glowing smile of a tired mother bending over a pushchair, or the giddy delirium in the eyes of a teenager in love' is my favorite line and how you have shown the reality of different lives is great.

Also the different members of Greengrass family are described quite well, and I liked the fact that you left a cliffhanger, letting people be interested about whom she left which I think is Draco but even then the reason of her leaving him is unknown which actually pushed the reader to move on the next chapter and increases the interest.

I really loved your story and would be following it to read on. :D

Author's Response: Haha I'm glad you liked the name! I had lots of fun coming up with it!

I'm so glad that you liked my Daphne, and that she's a bit different from the normal. I have such a vivid picture of the cafe in my head, so I get happy every time someone tells me they liked it :) I had a lot of fun describing it, and all the people who might frequent it- like in the line you picked out :)

I've never written or read much Theo/Daphne before, so it's really wonderful to hear that their relationship comes across well! I've tried to make them seem as good for each other as possible...

Ooh yeah, I've become quite attached to the slightly disastrous Greengrass family over the course of writing this... Haha I love cliffhangers! As for Astoria and her (ex)husband, you'll have to read on to find out more about them ;)

Thankyou so much for such a lovely, kind, detailed review!

-Bethany


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Review #24, by NataliieW Carrot Cake

19th May 2013:
I like it! Interesting to read about Daphne, she's not a very developed character, so I'm looking forward to see your take on her! Good start anyway! :)

Author's Response: I'm glad you've enjoyed this! I think I was attracted to writing about Daphne because we know so little about her, and there is that freedom to develop her in your own way... It's great to hear that you liked the beginning- I hope you continue reading! :)

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Review #25, by patronus_charm Banana Nut Muffins

28th April 2013:
Hey Bethany I’m here with your last review, and I have to say it’s been such a pleasure reading your stories as they’ve been so unique and enjoyable to read and you really did deserve to win :’)

I have to admit when the letter arrived I did start to get a little excited as I thought it could be a love letter from Theo professing that he loved her since first year and that he wanted to marry her, but the real thing was just as good. I did wonder how the other Slytherins viewed Daphne, because like I said in an earlier review it is odd for a pureblood female to have a job, and I can sense there is some tension between her and her fellow snakes. I think it was right that you didn’t reveal the contents of the letter because then the tension and suspense of what’s in make you want to read on.

Daphne and Astoria’s mother was exactly how I imagined her to be. She seemed to be one of those haughty purebloods that you just love to hate. I’m glad that Astoria stuck by her choice for leaving Adrian, and I wonder what that whole thing about him needing her was about as it seemed to be very suspicious.

I feel sorry for poor old Daphne as she clearly loves her job, even her mother is disdainful about it. Then again, if Theo does decide to get his act together and propose it would be a respectable match as he’s a pureblood and seems to have a good job. I really hope you explore why Daphne decided to have her own café in future chapter as I’m sure there’s an interesting story behind it.

I can see that Daphne does have some deep lying issues. I think it was when Astoria was asking how they did it all, and she seemed to reply more grimly than Eleanor did and it showed that she wasn’t entirely happy. Then her thoughts at the end of the chapter with her saying how Theo was the only one who understood and how she was in a tangle of mess. It was all very mysterious.

Another great chapter and I have to say again I really have enjoyed reading and reviewing your stories :)

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hello Kiana! I'm gonna miss your reviews- they really brightened up a few evenings for me! So thankyou for taking the time to leave this one and all the other ones with such detail and everything :)

Haha, for Daphne's sake I wish it could have been a love letter too, but I'm glad that you weren't disappointed! By the end of the story you should find out a lot about Daphne's relationships with her fellow Slytherins, as there's definitely some tension there.

Yeah, I know Daphne's mother is kind of cliche, but there is something fun about those irritating Pureblood witches! I'm kind of re-working the Astoria/Adrian storyline at the moment but I think he will be making an appearance soonish.

Hmm yeah, Mrs Greengrass probably would approve of Theo- that's something I hadn't thought through actually... Definitely going to explain why Daphne started the Pink Hippogriff, as I realise that's something I haven't really got round to addressing... **looks guilty**

I'm glad that the darkness in Daphne's life is coming through, but also that there's a bit a mystery there! It's great to hear!

Thanks again for so many kind, eloquent reviews! I've enjoyed receiving them so much!

-Bethany :)


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