Reading Reviews for Limbo
  
6 Reviews Found

Review #1, by patronus_charm One Shot.

5th March 2013:
Kiana calling from Team Blue here!

I really loved how you started the story, as Iíve never seen that done before. Yet it allowed the reader to learn about the relationship between the narrator and the woman. You managed to describe so vividly, I never would have thought they could be viewed in that way.

You managed to describe the tension, lust and passion both of them were feeling, and you could sense how much the other wanted the other. Yet you did it in a rather different way again, and even though you kept on coming back to the attraction they were both feeling for one another, it never got boring, and you never felt as if you had read that already.

It was good that you didnít provide any explanation of how they had acted with one another since the end of school, as I think with a relationship with theirs it would be more about the physical attraction, rather than for the personality, and this was reflected well, as you could see that he didnít mention anything other, than her allure.

I thought this was a really interesting one-shot, and Iím glad that I read it!

-Kiana :D

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Review #2, by Arithmancy_Wiz One Shot.

2nd March 2013:
Oooh, how scandalous! I love uncommon (or at least not super popular) pairings, and this one definitely fits the bill.

It's a pretty short piece, but it still manages to pack a lot of punch. We don't often get to see this side of Harry, and knowing at the end that he's married definitely adds an extra layer. I really enjoyed the way you kept it all in his perspective. It leaves the reader wondering a bit just how two-sided this non-affair is. Is she really interested in him, or might she just enjoy torturing him in a more adult way now that they are well beyond school-age?

I really like too that you didn't try to explain too much how Harry got to this point, like how maybe Pansy had changed over the years, or how he was super unhappy in his marriage. It's just the physical attraction here. Keeping it in the moment really ups the tension -- great choice!

You mentioned in your summary wanting CC. The only bit I can think to offer is that some of your sentences were a bit on the long side. For example: Alone, we sat in the Ministry Archives, each working our own individual cases in a large hall filled with dusty tomes penned by wizards long gone that were designed to help the wizards in their wake serve and protect the magical community of today. I like the information and how it builds the setting, but it's a lot to take in from one sentence. Just something to keep on the lookout for...

Great one-shot. I love stories that jump right in and get straight to the point!

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Review #3, by TheMarauderChick One Shot.

2nd March 2013:
Hi there, I'm Sankavi! I loved this :) Never have I, personally, seen a Harry/Pansy ship, so I thought that was super cool! That added on to the fact that she is also working as Auror is also an idea that I've never seen. Or at least not done well. I really like the descriptions you used and although this was short, it totally gave me a picture in my mind about how harry felt.

Great job on this!

-Sankavi ^_^

Author's Response: hi sankavi, how're you going? thanks very much for the review, very much appreciated it and delighted you enjoyed it and found it to be an original concept :) I haven't read that many Harry/Pansy ones, and I couldn't see it happening just "because they fell in love" - I would have to picture it being a bit more lust based than anything else if it were to happen at all, which is how this idea was born lol. Thanks very much, glad you enjoyed it! :) Bobby xx

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Review #4, by caoty One Shot.

2nd March 2013:
Hello, I'm here from Review Tag.

Okay, so - Pansy/Harry. I quite like this 'ship, and it's difficult to find especially post-DH, so thank you for writing them.

Anyway. Moving on. Your imagery's lovely; your description of Harry's wedding band is particularly effective, as is the implied image of Harry sitting in Limbo and having to decide between Heaven and Hell. He's completely trapped in his own desires and decisions.

I will mention, though, that I think this particular line:
The room was dim and smelt of dust, wax and ink, hanging thick and low in the air, mixed with a delicious hint of vanilla, sandalwood and peach.
might be a little too much - it's not easy to differentiate six smells from one another, because they diffuse in the same air, after all.

The flow of this one-shot almost seems effortless, which suits its quiet, first-person, introspective nature extremely well, and makes its 'in medias res' time frame (setting?) seem natural instead of jarring.

A bit more criticism before I shut up: I'm not completely sold on Pansy. It's probably just a side-effect of your choice of more introspective narration for Harry, but I don't get a real sense of Pansy other than baby blue eyes and sexual tension/possible temptation. I'm not really sure how to feel about that because on one hand this one-shot might be more about Harry's self-absorption and desires than anything else, but on the other hand Pansy is a distinctive enough character in canon that I'm wondering if Harry shouldn't have more complex feelings towards her.

Anyway - well done on writing this (I did enjoy it, despite my criticisms), and I'll see you around on the forums. :)

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Review #5, by mirrormask One Shot.

8th January 2013:
Hi, it's me. ^_^

And wow. I read and fell in love with your writing all over again. Your words are poetry girl. Undiluted poetry. And it begs for bigger dreams. You have to finish up any original story's you've written love. Really. They'll be something great one day! I love you and I miss you, and I miss this place and old times. Tana. x

Author's Response: Hey my beautiful Tana Banana, I loves you so much!!! Thanks for stopping by, such a surprise! :D
I know right, really will have to write something original again soon lol, maybe something about Lily and you travelling the globe together :) I'm sure you both would like that lol :) Love you my beautiful friend, thanks! x


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Review #6, by Father Christmas One Shot.

15th December 2012:
Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas!

I was just feeding Rudolph when I stumbled upon this jolly story. Well, it wasn't exactly jolly, but it was even better for that. You wrote the sexual tension so well, I could really feel a pull between them, neither one of them willing to give in to their desires, presumably because they know that no good will come of it. You set the scene perfectly, creating a dusty and dim atmosphere down in the Ministry Archives, so quiet that they can hear each other breathe. It would be hard to think of anything else in that situation. Harry did well to resist.

Merry Christmas!

Author's Response: Hello again Santa! :) Thanks for my 3rd and final review, much appreciated! I hope Rudolph enjoyed his dinner :)
I'm glad you enjoyed this story as well, you're such a nice Santa! I must've been a good girl this year lol. This one originally started off as a Drabble. I actually struggled making it longer to reach the minimum word count, cuz every time I added something I felt like it dragged and took away from the immediateness of the story, and didn't preserve the sexual tension, but somehow I managed to do it and I'm quite pleased with the end results. I'm glad you enjoyed it too :) Thanks very much Santa! Bobby xx


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