Ahh Monica!!! You wrap chapters up so well--I envy your talent -_- The third person POV works in this story and it's way different from some of the stuff I read (some of which really sucks sometimes but I leave them a review and give them suggestions (: ) which is a nice break. I really hope you make this rather long, since the whole Dramione thing isn't really apparent yet but it's still fantastic anyway! Write quickly! :D xxAuthor's Response: Thanks!!! I really like how this chapter ends as well. I also prefer third person in general when I write, but especially for this story it seemed a better idea.
I do plan to make this pretty long, as they are not the sort to fall in love quickly. It will begin, as all great love stories should, with friendship, and become about true love.
Next chapter takes place on the Hogwarts Express! :) Report Review
Hey Monica! I just realized I never left you a review for this chapter, so here it is! You wrote their argument fantastically, and it sounds just about exactly like they do in the books/movies. The range of emotions they experience proves they don't have the emotional range of a teaspoon ;) Love it! You should update this again soon!! xD Report Review
Wow...amazing! Chilling and thrilling (that rhymes, haha) and it gives you an insight straight away into how he (Draco) feels. Love it!!! Going to stop reviewing now so I can read some more! Report Review
Very good start, you were able to convince me that Malfoy regrets his actions. However it seems a little rushed for him to confess his feelings of guilt to Granger.
Keep writing.Author's Response: Thanks for the critique! :)
My thought process here was that Draco is, at this moment, so overwhelmed by all of the emotions he's tried to keep under wraps that he's not even fully responsible for his actions. It's his emotions and not his logic that is in control. And then comes along a girl who completely hates him, right at his weakest moment, saying the very things he's been condemning himself for. When he tries to explain things to her, he's attempting to justify his own actions to himself as much as- or more than- he is to her. He doesn't really think through the consequences. And Hermione is so compassionate (not to mention also emotionally distraught) that she couldn't help but feel a little sympathy for him. But don't worry, they're both going to realize what they've done and regret their confessions to each other. :) Report Review
Moral peril. That reminds me of Miss.Weasley's clock. Report Review
I love it! You really got into his psyche and how he works (supposedly :P ) and it's really good! Since you're such a good author friend, you aren't telling me what's going on, so I want to know what exactly happens next ;) Report Review
Hi, you have have a great start. But as you said the prologue is incredibly short ...looking forward to more from you and if you want a banner for your story you can PM me Report Review
Ohh... I wonder who died. Anyway this fan-fic is raising my
hopes of reading a awesome story and it's one of the bests
I've read yet so excited to continue! Report Review
Monica hello! Thanks for mentioning me ;) Obviously I don't really need to actually review this since I did edit it :P But remember, longer chapters and up faster! I want to see where you end up going with this in the middle since you have bits and pieces already. :) I'm in the middle of my next chapter right now anyway so that'll be up soon too! Report Review
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