Hey there! CalypsoJenna from the forums here with your requested review!
May I just say how much I love your description? You set the scene beautifully at the beginning- I could just picture Harry sit all alone outside with the light from the Burrow "pooling softly in the garden." I think that you really captured that end-of-war feeling. Your words: "Funerals, press conferences, memorials and awards ceremonies" seemed to sum it up perfectly.
I very much enjoyed Ron and Hermione's conversation- it felt very sincere and sweet. It was a really original idea to tell it from Harry's perspective, and interesting that you're showing slight tension within the Trio. Not only does that seem realistic, but also great potential for storylines!
Your characterisation of Harry was spot on. He's such a formidable character to write, as we see so much of him in canon, but I thought you did a great job- he seemed to act very realistically.
You mentioned that you were worried about this being cliche, but in the main I think you managed to steer clear. I thought that Hermione and Ron behaved a little predictably from time to time, but mainly they just seemed sweet and heartfelt.
The only thing I did notice was that there were a few typos- you might want to have a read through and fix those.
All in all I thought this was a great opening chapter! I'm really interested to see where this story will go!
-BethanyAuthor's Response: Hi! I had tried to respond to this awhile back, not sure where it went!
Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm especially pleased that you found my Harry characterization authentic, one of my biggest fears in writing a fic from his POV.
And I appreciate the note on the typos... I'm working in a program without a spellcheck function, so the 2nd set of eyes is greatly needed.
Again, thanks so much for your time! Report Review
Found your story today. I like it. Your Hermione is a bit, ummm, wound up! And, your Ginny is, ummm, perfect with pregnancy hormones. Fun interactions between all.
Keep up god work, looking forward to more. Happy Writing!
Lauraf68Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm glad you enjoyed angry Ginny! :-) Report Review
This is cute, I like how Ron proposed. It felt very them, the arguing and then Ron being all adorable. You've got the characterizations down nicely, Hermione's rant, Ron's nerves and this is a great idea for a story. It works really well, especially since it's told from Harry's point of view it could have been a disastrous but it wasn't, it was really good.
Going to add to favorites so I know when you next update, great job! :)Author's Response: Thanks so much! My first review, so exciting! Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection