Yay, we found Fern! I didn't actually realize that at first, but then I saw she was on the list for snowball fights. I still worry about her though... Also, her relationship with Peeves is kind of cool. It's interesting to see Peeves actually care about someone, especially considering it was someone who yelled at him for something completely random.
James is an... interesting character. You can really tell that he's a bit of a softie, what with his whole buddy system thing, but he's also got quite a bit of an ego, since he's unwilling to go public with Lorcan (speaking of which, she's so often a male in fanfiction that it kind of surprised me a bit when she was with James :P ).
The requirements for Charlie's girlfriend was hilarious. Given he's the only Weasley that never settle down, it would make sense that the entire clan is trying to find him a girl that is absolutely perfect.
I don't really think you need to apologize for the amount of "academic" stuff you talk about in this. After all, they're at school, so academic stuff is kind of the centre of their lives. Naturally it has to be present in at least some part of the story to keep it realistic. :)
I love the DADA scene especially, because it really shows what a team Summer and Autumn are. It also kind of shows their character, in that Summer is the more offensive one, and Autumn is more defensive, which parallels their personalities. I'm trying to decide if Professor Bones's comment about Autumn having to be the offensive one is foreshadowing or not... :P
Aw, yay, Autumn and Louis! Except, of course, Louis is being a little chicken about it and acting like it was just to get other girls off his back. I really am excited to see how their relationship plays out. I think it's interesting that Louis is younger than Autumn here, because it's often seen the other way around, but the guy usually isn't younger than the girl. I like the change of pace though. :)
"That's a terrible name for your family mafia."
Once again, Autumn's sense of humour gets to me... I mean, who calls a family a gang? :D Also, PEASTERLY. That's kind of hilarious, and a nice change from Wotter and Peasley.
I love that Dom hints at Louis's interest in Autumn, but then drops it. Foreshadowing is my fave. :P
I know that the "running-into-the-other-person-thing" (I don't think that makes sense, oh well...) is possibly considered a cliche, but personally, I run into people all the time, so I wouldn't consider it to be cliche, considering it's actually quite common.
Overall, I love the sense of humour you have going on with this story, so feel free to re-request for the later chapters! :)
-ShadowRose (Taylor) Report Review
I'm back. :)
Oh dear, where'd Fern go? That's certainly not good. Stop ending these chapters on cliffies, GAH, because I have to wait until I finish writing the review to go on to the next chapter and figure out what on earth is going on. I'm just kidding, though, because I love cliff-hangers, and these are just dramatic enough to create interest, but not overly so either.
I love how you're managing to weave both interactions with the Potter/Weasley family and interactions with Autumn's own family into this. It's a really nice balance, and refreshing from stories that totally and completely center on just the Wotter (gosh I love that word...) family.
Another thing you manage to combine really excellently in this story is the main humour element and some very serious topics as well, like Bill and Fleur's divorce, the Seasons girls runaway father, and Emily and Newton's inability to have children.
I love how Professor Clearwater and Chang have kind of switched places since their Hogwarts days, because back then it would seem that Penelope would be the more structured one. But hey, that just shows how much people can change after their school days.
I love that Summer just strolled into the Ravenclaw common room. It kind of shows how similar she is to Autumn in that they both have that Ravenclaw trait in them, yet different at the same time, as seen in her inability to keep track of her shoes, and her little gambling problem.
That egg-thing that Autumn found in her closet was strange... I wonder if that has anything to do with where Fern is, considering she was inside of it? Oh well, I guess I'll find out soon enough. :)
This chapter flowed really well through the different scenes too. The one little thing I saw was the jump from the flashback at the start to Summer sitting in the common room. It felt a little bit jarring right there, although that could easily be fixed with a little sentence of transition or something of the sort. :)
I like that you included actual lessons in this, because I think the lessons are some of the most fascinating parts of Hogwarts (why yes, I am being very Hermione-esque right now), so it's fun to see other writers' takes on them. Turning a turtle into a pillow? What? Hahahah that has no real life application, but hey, it's Hogwarts. :P
"It's not because you're as slow as a fat kid on crutches that I have to be as well."
OH MY GOSH I actually laughed out loud at this line. It's so Summer, and completely unexpected.
"Stop looking like the receptionist of a funeral parlour."
Well, that's always a good way to cheer someone up. But I like this line because it shows that Summer and Autumn have the same odd sense of humour.
I have one little canon-ness comment. When you're talking about people asking if Fred had a tattoo of a hippogriff, I think Ginny said that Harry had the Hungarian Horntail, and Ron was the one who had a tattoo of a Pygmy Puff. I don't even know why I remember that...
Anyways, another really great chapter!
-ShadowRose (Taylor) Report Review
Sorry for the delay, but I'm finally here with your requested review!
First of all, the character names are BRILLIANT. By the time you got to their middle names, I was practically falling out of my chair laughing. I mean,
Autumn Jonquil? How unfortunate. :P
I like how even though the sisters are similar, you've already established their own individual personalities. Fern's the artist, Ivy wants to be a Healer, and so on. I also like that you managed to throw pieces of information like that into the story without stating it outright, but by mentioning little things as the chapter goes on.
I love how the Weasley/Potter family is so distributed across the four Houses, and also I think it's interesting that Bill and Fleur are divorced. I feel like the Ron/Hermione divorce scenario has been beat to a pulp, so it's refreshing to see it happen to a different couple. Wow, I totally didn't mean for that to sound like I support divorce, but, I mean, given the current divorce rate, it makes sense that one of the couples would divorce.
I like how there's already been quite a bit going on in this first chapter, instead of it simply being an introduction with no action. I still get the feeling that I've been properly introduced to all of the characters, but at the same time, I didn't have to wade through paragraph after paragraph of physical descriptions or anything like that. Instead, they came naturally.
This whole chapter flowed really well, even though it did manage to go through quite a few different scenes.
Another thing I LOVED was Roger and Noah. They're so funny, and it was an interesting way of throwing some slash into the mixture without it being a full-on slash story.
I also think it's cool that you brought Sophie's Muggle brother and physics into the mix. I love that they're trying to study the crossroads between science and magic, because that's something I've always wondered about.
Let's see, favourite lines:
"But as you've realised, sanity is a relative concept in our family."
An awesome transition into the next scene, and really funny too.
"It was only then that we were capable of having a full conversation, because we didn't have the option of leaving in a huff, slamming the door as we left.
Ivy has tried. Once."
Oh gosh, considering my friends and I were discussing how to exit a moving vehicle the other day, this line cracked me up too. :D
So far, this all seems pretty Hogwart-y (speaking of which, I like that word... I may start using it more in reviews) and I didn't find any glaring cliches yet.
Oh gosh, I feel like I'm supposed to wrap up a squee-ing review like this with at least some constructive criticism, but GAH, I can't find anything. Although I guess that's a good thing, now isn't it? :)
Awesome first chapter, and I'm looking forward to the next ones!
-ShadowRose (Taylor) Report Review
Great, great, great. I like how you portray daily life and conversations, it's so easy to relate to that. I was surprised about the turn at the end of the chapter, when they mentioned nobody had seen Fern - you got me very curious there. Also, I looked up the song and I adore it! So great! Really, I did a little dance on my seat, I feel like a complete nutter. Now, I'm going to listen to the song a few thousand times more and start reading your next chapter.
- PB Report Review
I really like this chapter. It's funny, fresh, easy - going. All the different names confused me a bit in the beginning though, but then again I'm rather slow. Your characters seem well thought - out as far as I can tell from the first chapter, I'm curious about them. I was very sad when you mentioned Bill and Fleur being divorced, I always thought they were so great :( So, I'm going to continue reading, lovely first chapter!
- PB Report Review
Hello Val :) Erm, you requested a review from me nearly a month ago...*sheepish*. Well, here I am. Ooh, you're the second person who's requested for a chapter in the middle of the story :) I offer this in my original topic, but many requesters don't make use of this. Anyway, I'll do my best to comment on and critique this chapter without knowing any of the backstory and such.
You have a really lovely writing style; your writing is clear, sharp and concise. Your characters are fun to read and are engaging, and the interactions between them are lively and exciting. I really loved the sisters' relationships with each other - they're close; they're affectionate and light-hearted and bossy and ever so supportive of each other. But from what I've read, they're not all stuck together - Autumn does have her own life with her friends, and she does have Louis to occupy her time as well. The date between Louis and Autumn was simply lovely; I loved that they explored the workshop of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. It certainly is a fitting location and it provides that perfect humorous joke-y atmosphere for their date.
The conversation between them about traditions was written wonderfully. It's cheerful and fluffy, but it still reveals things about the characters e.g. Autumn's attitude toward dating and relationships and romance. She certainly falls on the more traditional side :) And that does fit with the conventions of the romance genre; there's usually that sense of tradition, the need for a relationship to progress along a series of steps before becoming established. I would like to see a little experimentation with moods and with different sides to the Louis/Autumn relationship e.g. the less pleasant moments, the conflicts etc. I'm sure there'll be plenty of these in future chapters :)
I think one of your writing strengths is dialogue. The dialogue is quick and witty and sharp and it really sparkles. Not many writers can write a wonderful and funny dialogue scene without sounding too forced - but your dialogue is so natural with a nice lovely flow, so well done.
Some critique (and I hope you don't mind, but I tend to be more critical in requested reviews): this is a fairly fast-paced chapter - there is a lot of movement through time, and there are many different sections jumping ahead, which sort of weakens the focus of the plot (because your story certainly does have a plot - an interesting one, too). What I'm trying to say is that there might be too many things in this chapter. I do feel that some of the scenes don't cohere too well, and some of them aren't quite necessary e.g. the first bit about the girls picking out an outfit for Autumn. Later there's another scene of the girls picking out yet another outfit for her. I think you definitely don't need two such similar scenes within the same chapter, because it can be a bit repetitive. You've already shown us that Autumn has an inability to dress with acceptable style ^.^
What I would suggest about the numerous sections is to perhaps really focus on two or three main events, e.g. the date and the party with the strange magic part at the end, and really elaborate on those scenes a little. Include a little more description to break up the long dialogue segments, to perhaps give a sense of the setting, or how the characters orientate themselves within their environment. Hope I'm not confusing you!
Anyway, I found that last bit with the strange magic parts really intriguing! I've never read anything like that in fanfic, so great work for originality. It's so refreshing to read a humour/romance/YA next gen fic set in Hogwarts with a nice touch of mystery and strange happenings. So many fanfic writers tend to forget how magical Hogwarts is, and they don't make full use of the wonderful setting. So I'm so glad to see this bit of mystery magic in your story. This was a great way to end the chapter. Just ♥ how Louis' wolf patronus pops out of Autumn's wand like that :) Maybe someday in the future it will be herself reciting that charm, and the wolf will pop out of her wand by itself. Because Autumn/Louis. Is such a cute ship. Auouis is a wonderful ship name, by the way. It sounds French.
Great writing, Val! Thanks for requesting and massive apologies for the delay :)
-tehAuthor's Response: Hi teh! No worries about time, I understand that RL comes first -- how sad, isn't it?
I'm very happy you picked up on the relationships between the characters, because it's really something I wanted the story to center on, and not just in terms of ships.
Autumn is definitely on the traditional side, more than she'd like... She and Louis aren't actually dating yet, but there will also be less pleasant moments, of course.
Of course I don't mind criticism! If I did, I probably wouldn't even bother with Internet. Your point about this being fast-paced was already made on another chapter, and I thought this one was reasonably slow, but I'll definitely see where I can slow things down a bit, and where I can make transitions smoother.
However, the scene with the magic at the end is deliberately confusing, because it's an important part of the plot and I want the reader as confused as the characters for now -- does that make any sense?
Hm, as for Autumn's Patronus, well, my lips are sealed as well!
Thank you for the lovely detailed review, and again no need to apologise about the delay :) Report Review
Um... so when did you request this review from me? Was it over a month ago? Perhaps... but better late than never, right? *smiles hopefully*
Okay, so Fern still appears to be lost, and I get that how in different Houses and stuff, you tend to lose track of people, but is it not weird that you forgot THAT YOUR YOUNGER SISTER IS MISSING?!?! Perhaps that's just me. Also, kudos to them for doing homework on a Friday night! I don't do homework until Sunday night if I can help it!
Haha, the Potter-Weasley get-together and buddy system is a cute idea. And it's even more adorable because James thought it up!
I actually love the Weasley-Potter family dynamics you've set up here! They seem like a loud, rowdy, tight-knit bunch of people and there's only one way to describe them - adorable!
I really liked the way you wrote the duelling scene in this. It was succinct, and to the point, which really helped to keep the pace up, and illustrate the speed at which duels probably occur.
So, Lorcan is a girl? I had always assumed that she was a he, so I was super confused for a second there. And respect for James just went down, like ten notches! He shouldn't care what other people think of him and his relationships!
FERN HAS BEEN LOCATED! YAYAYAYAYAYAY!
AND OMG LOUIS YOU SLY DOG! I actually haven't formed an opinion on him yet - must learn more about him! Hopefully, the next chapter is the "date" and we learn more about him? And why he chose Autumn?Author's Response: AAH WHAT A NICE (SORT OF) SURPRISE!
No, it's not just you! I think Autumn just has quite a lot on her mind, and she's used to not seeing Fern for some time, but two weeks is a max before a big worrying phase.
Haha, I never do homework on Friday evenings. I probably should, but I've got the self-motivation of a piece of aspargus.
Potter/Weasley dynamics are nice to write about, even though this isn't focused on them. I do try to include some regularly though!
Yep, Lorcan is a girl -- I understand your confusion :) James is a bit too worried about the way people see him, isn't he? He is a fundamentally nice guy even though he's a bit of a manipulator.
LOUIS IS A SLY DOG INDEED! Yes, the next chapter is the date, I hope you'll like it. Thank you for the review :) Report Review
A few unrelated notes--one, Hunter Parrish is super foxy and half the reason why I watched Weeds. Two, kind of excited about your new Cormac/Eloise.
ANYWHO. I'm back again to catch up!
I think Louis' little outing with Autumn was just adorable. What woman wouldn't fall for a guy who got her a ticket backstage to the Weasleys' private workshop? I liked how you took your time describing the different products and their effects and didn't rush through the "date" or force anything too romantic on the pair just yet. I have to wonder if the wand thing is indicative of their synergy or if it suggests something more diabolical.
Hmm, so is Scorpius the reason that Fern has been MIA so much lately? I can imagine her sneaking off to be with him. Still, I have to ask--should I be ready for a less pleasant secret to come out later?
I liked the party, too; it was nice that you made an effort not to include alcohol or ridiculous romantic escapades. I also liked how your description made me feel like I was right there in the room with them. I didn't feel like the dress description was overdone.
Very nice job, Val!
-AmandaAuthor's Response: Yes Hunter Parrish. I hesitated about choosing him for Louis, but then I was just 'BAH WHATEVER'. It was one of my most intelligent rash decisions.
I don't think any woman could refuse, could they? I certainly wouldn't. The reason why nothing is too romantic yet is because Autumn is a little clueless about this type of thing.
Scorpius is part of it, but not the only reason! And to answer your question, well, I like to throw readers off balance...
Thank you for the review, I'll be getting back to Post Scriptum soon! Report Review
Hi Val! Here's the first of the two reviews I owe you. I'll be back sometime soon to do the other one.
Gosh, where is Fern?! You're making me nervous...
Anyway, I love the discussion of the Weasley antics and the strict list of qualifications for Charlie's girlfriends. I imagine he would be a tough one to get to settle down, so only the very best will do :)
Okay, I have to be honest--I have trouble picturing Peeves being at all serious. Caring about someone--perhaps, but I don't know if he'd let on about it. I would have pictured that interaction more like him continuing to make jokes and then showing through the action of trying to find her (behind the scenes, of course) that he cared. Does that make sense? I can see that you tried to justify it, though, so I guess this just comes down to a difference between tastes.
...oh, wait, so we did find Fern? That was abrupt. It's good that we've located her, though the way she's acting worries me a little. I'll stay tuned.
Hmm, does Louis have a thing for Autumn and is just trying to hide it? Interesting. I'll look forward to seeing how their "date" in Hogsmeade goes.
Okay, now that my running review is done, I want to comment on a few things I liked about this chapter. One is the sense of normalcy--I wouldn't even apologize about the academic content, because you're right, they're at school and it's good to show them actually going to class. Plus, it breaks up the action and creates interesting new scenes. Speaking of action, I also like how smoothly yours flows. I avoid action sequences like the plague because I can't figure out how to do that well, and yet it seemed to work well for you.
This is coming along nicely, Val!
-AmandaAuthor's Response: Hi Amanda!
Fern is a mystery, and sadly I won't say anything about it because I'm keeping it a secret. You find out very soon though...
The Weasley antics are lovely to write about, I'm happy you liked that! Only the best one will do, yes -- if the women in his family let anyone get close enough :)
It's an interesting point you raise about the scene with Peeves, and I think I will edit sometime in the near future. I'm going to include a scene with Peeves again that sort of develops this one, so I hope it'll help clear up certain things.
Yep, we sort of found Fern! She let herself be found would be a more appropriate description though... I'm aware that was abrupt, but it was done on purpose. As I said, Fern's random appearances and disappearances are a big part of the story, so it's sealed lips for a few more chapters!
I'm happy you found this chapter normal, it's one of my big objectives with this story. Thank you for your lovely review :) Report Review
Hello! Siriusly89 here with your very, very, very late review (Iím so sorry!)
Anyway, Iím here, ready to review!
I love how Ton just forgot about her sister for a whole week, although to be fair, Hogwarts sounds like a pretty big place (its massive) so, really her not seeing her sister for a week isnít such an alien idea after all. Huh, who knew?
The conversation about the Weasleyís get-together is so plausible, I can actually see it happening! Ahahahaha, Ginny fell off her chair. . . . .ha. . . . .
Summer and Autumn tag-teaming poor Matthew and Henry didnít seem all that fair to me, never mess with two women, especially when they know each other inside out and thus can cover each others weak spots, its inviting them to hand you your butt on a platter.
I love Matthew, Henry and Summer together. They are not allowed go out with each other, or anyone else. They are just to stay best friends, and wash each others socks. Okay? Good.
Awh. . . .. you got my hopes up there for a minute. I thought Lorcan was a boy, because I love the idea of gay James, heíd be like a very camp Sirius! Out of all the Next-Gen-ers, I always felt like either James or Louis would turn out to be gay. . . .
Ah well, you canít have everything. Lorcan sounds like good fun though, doesnít she? Maybe she could make more appearances later? Please?
Itís snowing in September? Or have we jumped forward in time and I just havenít noticed? Itís more than likely me. . . .
We jumped forward in time. Knew it1 I am a genius! Well, not really, but anyway!
Aah! Autumn and Louis are going to Hogsmeade together! I think I know whatís going to happen. . . . .. .
Autumn and Louis sittiní in a tree,
Feel free to re-request, I promise it wonít take as long next time.Author's Response: It's not so much forgets as has a billion other things to think about, and now your comment has my brain buzzing with a plunny of someone who gets lost inside Hogwarts and never finds his way out muahaha.
Ahem. Yes, poor Ginny. And poor Matthew and Henry, they didn't stand a chance. And yes, they will wash each other's socks for the reast of their lives. I promise.
Haha, yeah, we moved through time.
K-I-S-S-I-N-G? Maybe, maybe not!
Thank you for your review, and no apologies are required honestly!
:) Report Review
This was another cool chapter - it's been so long since I read the first couple of chapters that I forgot about Noah and the rest of the family, but this chapter triggered my memory and reminded me how much I love him - I really hope we get to see him again soon!
Nice idea for Sophia's party - I'm definitely looking forward to reading that chapter. I just hope she doesn't get mad that her best friends have 'forgotten' her birthday.
And before I go (sorry for the super brief review, but I loved everything about this chapter, and I can't exactly type out the whole chapter in my review and say 'OMG! I loved this line!' Sorry for the random tangent) I would like to say again I LOVE LOUIS! His dance with Autumn was so perfectly adorable and I loved that little bit of awkwardness at the end.
Very nice job on this chapter! I can't wait to read more.
Courtney:)Author's Response: Yes we do see Noah again soon, actually -- though the circumstances may not be too happy, but anyway.
Sophie's party is all written out already, and i have anew story in the queue but after that chapter six of this is going up.
TEEHEE, YES, AWKWARDNESS. That's what they're all about :)
Thank you Courtney! Report Review
This was another really fun chapter to read, and I love the way you are developing your characters.
Louis is just so adorable! I'm tempted to say he's my favourite character - I loved how original his date with Autumn was. It was so refreshing and different to read. In fact, nothing about your story is predictable or cliche which is great! And I actually like the fact that Scorpius asked Fern out, despite the fact that I absolutely love Rose and Scorpius.
Hehehe, I loved the idea of the Ravenclaw only party! It seemed like it would be a pretty relaxed, comfortable sort of scene, and I laughed at the reference to the Gryffindor parties where the girls ended up getting pregnant. Typical Gryffindors!
Oooh, that end bit was very mysterious! I'm wondering now if it has something to do with whatever is happening to Fern. I'm more curious than ever!
Courtney:)Author's Response: Feel free to say Louis' your favourite, he's (one of) mine too! I'm happy you liked the date, and Ferpius too -- though I'm a big Scorose fan as well!
Typical Gryffindors indeed! No, I like Gryffindors, it's just that all teen pregnancies seem to be about Gryffindor girls getting drunk at parties and ending up pregnant. I will read a story about a pregnant Hufflepuff, now that'd be different...
Perhaps it does have something to do with Fern, perhaps not! I swear all will be revealed one day, but not just yet.
Thank you for another of your wonderful reviews :) Report Review
Hey there! Sorry it's been so long since I've read and reviewed, it really seems as though I have no time for reading fanfiction these days (sob!) But I wanted to spend my time on your fantabulous story!
Okay, this review isn't going to be super long because I really want to keep reading. I am so curious about Fern - where is she going, if anywhere? Has something happened to her? I can't wait to find out the answers! And her friendship with Peeves is so cute, and I've never seen anything like that done before! I definitely think it adds an original twinge to your story.
I actually like the fact that there is so much schoolwork in your story because, lets be honest, that's what school is about! There is not as much socializing and partying as many people make it out to be, so I am super happy to see that you are actually including the classes in your chapters. And that's part of the magic of Hogwarts, too - all the different classes and kinds of spells.
Finally, I had a feeling something with Louis and Autumn was going on, and the last little scene with them was perfect! I'm looking forward to seeing what happens in Hogsmeade.
Courtney:)Author's Response: Courtney!
No need to apologise, honestly -- RL getting in the way of fanfic is really irritating, and I've found myself sobbing more than once too!
Fern is a mystery that you will find out about later, but I won't say anything there because it's an important part of the plot. I'm happy you like her friendship with Peeves!
The reason I include so much schoolwork is because I went sifting through the forums and there was a thread of stereotypes that irritate the reader. One that often came back was 'all Next Gen ever does is party', so I went down the other road with this story! I'm also not a big party person myself, and writing about something you're unfamiliar with is difficult...
Louis and Autumn, no, I have no idea what you're on about.
Thank you for your review :) Report Review
Hi Val! Back with another swappity-swap review :)
I kind of love Summer in this chapter. It was so funny how she matter-of-factly answered the Ravenclaw riddle and strode right into the common room. In that first section, I also liked how you went back to the Bill-Fleur divorce. Is that going to be a major theme in the story? It's interesting to see how Dominique and Louis are dealing with the divorce in different ways, though I do feel bad for Dominique taking her mother dating so hard. (And it's so funny to see someone else's depiction of Dominique after having written my own.)
It seemed a little odd for the girls to refer to Harry, Ginny, and Fleur by their first names. I would have at least expected to see last names tacked on. Maybe consider taking a second look at that?
Points for actually including a lesson in your chapter. It was funny to imagine a class full of students trying to turn turtles into pillows, and I like how the girls were gossiping about their professor's little history with Percy. Seems realistic.
I think it's cute that the girls are being a little risky in trying to band together to buy the purse for their mother. She's lucky to have such thoughtful daughters, though they must have been a handful growing up, especially with her being a single mom!
The only other part I would consider looking at here is the beginning, with Autumn recalling her Sorting. I think the transition there to the common room was a little abrupt. For a moment, I thought Summer had basically ignored her cheering new housemates and plopped down at the Ravenclaw table to demand the return of her shoes. I think you could put a brief remark in there about Autumn clearing her head and focusing on Summer, just to differentiate the scenes more.
Nice work again this chapter, and I'm looking forward to continuing--and seeing what happened to poor Fern!
-AmandaAuthor's Response: Hi Amanda!
The point of Summer strolling in so easily was there for me to show that she and Autumn are not just similar physically, but also in their values and way of thinking. The fact that Autumn is reasonable when Summer is hot-headed, and that they're in different houses, don't make such a fundamental difference.
Bill and Fleur's divorce isn't going to be a big theme, but it helps explain some of Dom's relation with Louis. I also included it because all Weasley couples always seem to be blissfully married, and I wanted to show it wasn't necessarily the case. Dom, I think, is still very much a child, even though she swears a lot and tries to act tougher than she is -- deep down, she only wants her parents to be together and to be able to see her mum without feeling like she's betraying her dad.
And yes, I know that feeling!
The use of first names, well. This actually came from experience -- my mum always used to grumble when 'Aunt' was tacked in front of her name (apparently it made her sound old), and I imagined the Weasley women to have similar reactions. Thus, there goes the Aunt and Uncle business, and that's why I had the girls refer to their family only with first names. Does this even make sense?
I'm so happy you mentioned the classes! To be honest, I went searching through the stereotypes-you-hate topic on the forums, and a recurring one was 'There are no classes in Next Gen, all they seem to do is party', so I'm attempting to stay away from that.
The first scene of the previous chapter proves that not only they were a handful before, but still are sometimes. I really want to keep Ellen as a big part of this story, because there are so many stories where parents are presented as horrible people. Again, I just want them to have a relatively normal family (minus the fact that their father left, obviously), so their mother and uncles will keep appearing in and out...
I went back to reread the chapter after you commented on that introduction scene, and yes, it could definitely do with some fleshing out! I'll see how I can edit.
Thank you for yet another lovely review, I'll be around for chapter two of Post Scriptum sometime during the week :) Report Review
Yep, amazing. I think it would be funny if Yuna hates Autumn
100/10Author's Response: Aww, thank you! I'll have to think about Yuna and Autumn's relationship, but for now, Yuna is less than a year old, so she shouldn't be able to do anything too mean yet... Report Review
Very very good chapter x
Can't wait to see what happens with Louis and Autumn (Lutumn)
~Macy xAuthor's Response: Haha, I've got them as Loutumn, but that works too! Thank you for the review :) Report Review
Told you Louis and Autumn are meant to be!
~Macy xAuthor's Response: I won't say anything so I don't spoil the story, but I'm sure you can figure it out :) Thanks for the review! Report Review
I love this chapter, because this story is U N I Q U E
I think Louis and Autumn should start dating because yes they seem close and he seems sweet.
I think turtle/pillow thing seems something that hogwarts would teach (its mental, why would you change a turtle into a pillow? But its Hogwarts)
12/10Author's Response: Thank you so much! No worries, Louis and Autumn will see sense reasonably soon.
True, there's no point in turning turtles into pillows, but hey. Glad you liked it! Report Review
Hey, good start enjoyed. Not going to say much because wanna read next chapter.
11/10Author's Response: Hi, and thank you for the review! I hope you enjoy chapter 2 :) Report Review
I am shipping Autumn/Louis. Just so you know. I'll even write their names across my forehead and send it to you if it makes them get a move on already! So I guess that answers your question on what scenes I want in future chapters!
I loved how Summer saw right through them and she already knows what we know, that Autumn likes him!
Again, lovely scenes with the girls. Hitting Dom for a comment like that is something I would do. And the baby came! I loved the letters they got from home, the relatives are hilarious and I can see where they get their brand of humor from. I could fill up this whole box with favorite quotes! "Trelawney Junior"? Priceless!
And the party is going to be so much fun! Unless, accident prone as they are, they get into some kind of trouble. I'd almost bet you a 12 galleon handbag that's going to happen!
Again, a brilliant chapter! I love how you present these characters. You have a way of writing OCs that I've never seen. They just come to life and before you know it, you love them and want them to be happy! Brilliant!
Again, I spotted two things:
"She's seen some of your four already," - some of you four? As in some pictures of you four? Or some of your pictures already.
"Two weeks had taken place since the party," - two weeks had passed since the party had taken place.
I'm done now! Update soon and keep on doing this amazing job!
RalAuthor's Response: I swear there is Loutumn fluff coming soon, so no worries there!
Summer knows Autumn better than Autumn knows herself sometimes, and vice versa. I think like writing those two almost more than than anything else, including Louis and Autumn...
I AM SO HAPPY YOU LIKE FAMILY. THAT IS ALL.
I will not say about the party, but as soon as RF gets validated I am putting chapter six in the queue! Roxanne is on the lookout for trouble though, so she should keep the girls out of it... hopefully.
Yes, 'some of you four'. I'll edit those little typos immediately.
THANK YOUUU RAL &hearts Report Review
"his green robes flapping around him like he was a kind of cross-breed between a bat and a piece of broccoli." This made my day, sweetie! Really! Priceless!
This story of your is addicting! Really! I can't bare to think I have only one chapter left to read and then I have to wait for an update!
Let's take it from the top! Scene one, girls getting ready! I love the banter they have going on and the way in which they relate to one another. I love seeing girls described like this, as opposed to gossip queens who do nothing but get each other in trouble.
Next, the date. I have never read a more original first date scene! Having them playing around in the shop, changing their appearance and just being goofy was so fun to read! The comment about Fred and the elephant had me laughing so hard my stomach hurt!
It's clear by this point that Louis likes her, though I think he needs to belly dance in front of her with a sign saying "I like you" for her to notice. C'mon! The rose, the taking her away to somewhere quiet! I feel like shaking the girl and spelling it out for her! The dude is part Veela! If you don't want him, I'll have him!
Speaking of Roses, as much as I love Rose/Scorpius, I'm glad the Fern is his girlfriend in this story. I want to see more of Scorpius! And I was right... Secret boyfriend?
The party scene seems like so much fun, a bunch of socially awkward people having fun and being awkward. Not that our girls are like that. Not at all.
The ending made me really curious. What could be happening with the spells? Maybe somebody's tampering with the magic of Hogwarts? I can't wait to find out, so I'm off!
Oh and I did spot something, just a tiny little thing:
"The fact that it's better to be in love when you out with someone, for instance."" - I think you're missing a "go" in this sentence.
Other than that, great work!Author's Response: I had so much fun writing that line, glad you enjoyed it!
You've picked up on exactly what I wanted to get across -- yes, these girls genuinely love each other. Drama queens can go somewhere else to see if I'm there, but they're staying out of this.
The date, sigh... When I wrote it, I asked myself: where in Hogsmeade have characters not been? And this came up, though originally I had them in a cafe, but then I was like NAWW LOUIS WOULD TAKE HER SOMEWHERE SPECIAL. Tada!
The mental image of Louis bellydancing made my day, and now I'm desperately thinking of a way to include it. Hmm. NO YOU MAY NOT (I'm sorry) -- he's all for Autumn!
You were right about Fern, sort of, but there's more to that! I love to hear you're shipping Ferpius though.
Seriously, Autumn is entirely based off me in the party scene. Parties? That thing with music? And dancing? AND PEOPLE?!
Aha, the spells are confusing, aren't they? It's a big part of the plot, so keep throwing theories at me!
And yes that is a typo, pesky little thing, that I shall edit asap.
Thank you so much again! :) Report Review
I knew it I knew it I knew it! I had a feeling from the last chapter that Autumn and Louis might have something going on, and if you didn't write this down, I would've told you to do something about it! Loved it!
You have this brand of humor that I really like, where the characters are funny (sometimes rudely so) and yet so lovable. I especially liked the Weasley women talking about the monthly clan meeting! This is why I love NextGen! The kids are so close in age and attend school at the same time, get scattered all over the place, they're like a small gang! :D
I'm still trying to figure out what might be wrong with Fern, though Ginny in CoS keeps popping into my mind. She can't be possessed can she? Or have a secret boyfriend? And why am I comparing these two?
The last scene with Autumn and Louis was so sweet. I liked how she basically understood she was doing him a favor and he kissed her cheek and whispered in her ear! Ah, young love! :D
I love this story and you are amazing my dear! Again, I'd like to poke around your mind to see where you come up with all these ideas! Great job! I'm looking forward to the next one!
Oh and as a side note I forgot to make on the last chapter. Ginny in HBP actually told Romilda Vane that Harry has a Hungarian Horntail (much more manlier than a Hippogriff) and Ron has a Pygmy Puff tattoo. That is all :DAuthor's Response: I am sorry to tell you this, but Autumn is blissfully obvious to the feelings Louis may or may not have for her, so it is going to take time... I also happen to be thoroughly irritated with stories where the girl flings herself at the guy, which is going to show here! Worry not though, there is a sequel planned to this.
You're entirely correct about them being a gang, though I prefer the term family mafia. I can totally imagine Dom with black sunglasses plotting people's murder and sipping her glass of wine.
AH FERN. Maybe! I don't want to spill too much, so I'll just say that your theories are interesting, but not entirely accurate!
Yes they are cute. Their interaction makes my heart squishy, so there will be a lot of it, though it will be agonisingly slow and frustrating!
Do not poke around my head, seriously -- it'd be bad for your mental health.
And thank you for pointing out that error (though Dom wouldn't be entirely aware of her uncles and aunts' school years).
YOU ARE THE BEST :) Report Review
Of course Summer has a gambling problem!
I just love this story! The girls are so fun and lovely in the way in which they stick together! I liked the atmosphere in the part of the chapter where they fight in the dorm and just fool around being girls.
I also liked how Louis is like an older brother to her, because in every story I see him as the youngest and that's an original break! Poor Dom, Fleur is dating again! I hate it when parents date! :p
And Fern has gone missing... that's a twist. I can't wait to see what's happening there!
Brilliant chapter m'dear! I'm off to read more!Author's Response: Of course! Summer just has a knack for ending up in problematic situations, except Autumn is there for the rescue...
There aren't enough real girls around the archives, I think -- not everyone spends hours describing their clothes, gettng drunk and/or pregnant, and ditching classes to snog their enemy in an abandonned broom closet.
Yes, I mixed up on cannon with Louis. It just fit my purposes better! I think Dom misses her mum more than she'll admit -- she's very innocent in this sense, hoping that her parents will end up together again...
Fern is a mystery, but I swear you find out more soon!
Thank you for this awesome review Ral :) Report Review
Awh Val!! This chapter is so sweet and awesome - thank you so so much! I'd like to say I'm not tearing up the third time I read it...
I love Dom's quirky quick comebacks, and the way she's not an early morning riser adds even more originality and humour to it - I love all the characters you've created! The flow is smooth but reasonabley fast paced which makes it so engaging and gripping.I also love how you've portrayed Roxy - she can sometimes be the non-prankster, the quiet one, but your portrayal of her is the best one as a prankster! The idea with the twin notebooks is hilarious - you make up such awesome pranks and tricks!
The small bits of detail make this story so unique and fambubblybumshus - e.g saying that Isabel grew up with 4 dogs, the memory of her and Louis slipped in there - you've created strong realistic characters with such strong back stories it's a like the style of Rowling herself, actually.
The way Summer gets money is very inventive, but Id rather stick to my way, thanks. The letter Autumn received (by Polka - the awesomest name for an owl EVER) had me in fits of giggles, I love her uncles, and I can't wait to meet Yuna!!
I'm also looking forward to the name of Sophie's kitten...I'm expecting a good name.
I have no idea about the wands - all I can do is credit the imaginative problem they've been faced with, and hope it makes their relationship stronger and let there be plenty of bonding time between Louis and Autumn :P
The whole face painted with a different house ttrick sounds genius - pure genius! It's so funny, and I like how you bring memories back with Louis and Autumn to create that history and chemistry between them.
Overall, the most amazing, hirrandipopping chapter of them all - thank you so so so so much - best birthday present ever wo! :DAuthor's Response: SOPHIE &hearts
Dom is entirely a figment of my imagination, of course. Everybody loves mornings, didn't you know? (Huhuhuh, NOT, getting up is the worst thing ever).
Roxanne is actually the most prim of all -- Angelina educated her well -- but at the same time, you can't be George's daughter and not have a sense of humour!
THE STYLE OF ROWLING *flails*
Yes Noah and Newton are the best and they come back soon :)
The cat is named Caesar, as you'll discover in chapter six...
HAPPY HIRRANDIPOPPING BIRTHDAY TO YOU AGAIN THOUGH THIS IS REALLY LATE &hearts Report Review
Oh my! I knew you did action and suspense, but now you do comedy as well? Is there anything you can't write?
I loved this chapter beyond words! Really! The girls are so funny and each of them is given her own space where she can be herself and have her own thing going on.
The names! THE NAMES! Where do you come up with all of this? I swear I am in so much awe every time I read one of your stories! I love how each of the girls, even the twins, is her own person. They are so different, despite their similarities and they embrace that. They have their own friends, their own support systems and still manage to be a family.
I liked the part about Bill and Fleur being divorced. Well, not because they're divorced, but because this is something I haven't seen yet in fanfiction and it's an original idea!
I can't wait to read the rest of this story, I'm adding it to my favorites and once I'm done with the other requests I'm coming back and reading the rest!
Good job! I love this and I love your writing! *hugs*Author's Response: Oh, psh. I'm terrible at mystery (unlike you) and narrated internal monologue. I also don't know how to bike properly, and I'm afraid of getting vaccinated.
The names were originally for a parody, actually! It was two in the morning, and I wanted to write a really stereotyped next gen with two twins, a blonde named Summer and a red-head named Autumn, and, well, it turned into this.
Bill and Fleur being divorced made me sad -- I almost had Ron and Hermione instead, but that was quite common (especially in Dramiones), so I went for something else. Glad you like it!
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING. I COULD HUG YOU NOW. &hearts Report Review
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