Reading Reviews for Surrender to the Night
  
16 Reviews Found

Review #1, by toomanycurls What We Both Deserve

1st November 2013:
I saw you had a Remus/Tonks story and I've been wanting to read it. I'm a little intimidated to read yours because I've written so much about them (and I'm worried about mine not being as good). I decided to put my huge ego aside and read yours.

Starting off, the way you're weaving first person present tense narrative with Tonks' recollections of Sirius and Remus is quite excellent. The way she's thinking back while experiencing the present hearkens to her state of depression and loneliness at this point in the series. Ahh, I love the idea of Tonks taking Sirius for a walk. LOVE.

The way you write Molly and Tonks' relationship is quite wonderful. She's the perfect older female friend (I've gravitated towards quite a few and her conversation with Tonks hits key chick points). Having Charlie and Tonks as exes is a great idea. I've always pictured that they would have at least known each other (and very well may have dated).

You write women extremely well. I mean, not just characterizing Tonks and Molly but the way women interact. You've captured Tonks' swirling thoughts and internal conflict excellently. I especially liked her stream of thoughts around who she should be (mature, brave, etc.).

The way you've characterized Tonks is superb. She's complex and yet the same simple person we know from the books. You explore her personality as more than just a clutz or auror or person in love. The way she covers her bases while skiving off work shows that she's intelligent and (as you stated) a planner. I also love that she's so gutsy. I'm a bit flabbergasted that she went to visit Remus while he's a werewolf (was he on wolfsbane?!?!). It's so heartwarming that she's trying to reason with Remus and get through to him.

Tonks' conversation with Remus is one of the best heart-to-hearts I've ever read. Ahh! She almost broke through to him and then he started to push her back again. I'm so glad she called Remus a coward - someone had to. Tonks' tender actions towards him as a wolf and the way she notices the traces of Remus in the animal is wonderfully done.

...for a few sentences I thought this story was going to take a route I've never seen on HPFF... O.o

Your description of Tonks transforming into an animal is wonderfully detailed yet light. It's not so technical in what she was changing that it read like a manual but I felt like it was really happening. Tonks' wolf-mind is primitive and raw but very genuine.

I laughed at Tonks when she tripped as a wolf. Can't blame Remus for looking like he's laughing. :D

Their jaunt through the woods is hilarious and romantic (even if they're both wolves). The way Tonks lost her cool made me laugh. She always seems so unshakable but I imagine that almost careening off a cliff would get anyone. The view he took Tonks to was a really something I can't quite express (amazing is coming to mind). He's sharing something personal that he's never been able to show another person. In his way, he's opened up to her in a very special way.

The idea of two werewolves trying to spread a blanket out on the floor is funny.

Remus in the morning is contrite and hilarious. His blaming Sirius for Tonks taking him out the night before - got some serious laughs out of me. Her incredulity at being called Dora - awesome. ah, I almost died at her comparison of Remus to Charlie. I love pervy Tonks. :D

The ending of this is beyond perfect. Tonks and Remus joking about whether they did it (I hate being 12+ btw) and what their kid would be like. The idea of their kid getting detention right away, ah so wonderful. Their moment of happiness was the sweetest way to finish this wonderful story. I'm so glad I got the nerve to read your incredible Remus/Tonks story!

-Rose

Author's Response: Hi :)

I've been starting at this review for a while. Smiling, madly. But also trying to figure out how to answer it all. I guess it's time to give it a go.

This was the first story I ever wrote in first-person narrative voice, and it was a challenge. I kept finding myself slipping back into third-person and then I'd have to go back and re-write 2 or 3 paragraphs. In the end, I'm really glad that people seem to like it. Between Tonks and Molly, I really did have to get in touch with my feminine side for this story. And I also love the idea of Tonks and Charlie being a couple that just didn't quite work out. It's a way to breathe a bit of life into Charlie's character, which JKR honestly never did very much with.

Tonks is another character who never got her due in the books. i hate the fact that authors spend so much time playing up her clumsiness in fan fic and totally ignore the fact that she is one of the youngest Aurors in history as well as somebody that Alastor Moody thought highly enough of to want to take her under his wing. That didn't happen by accident, I'm sure. Whenever I write her, I try to balance the goofy, fun-loving parts of her personality with that determination and seriousness. I'm really glad that you like it.

I'm guessing that Remus no longer had access to Wolfsbane Potion at this point in his life because he's still angry at Snape for revealing his secret. The human/wolf duality is a concept that I borrowed liberally from Rosie's story which inspired this one. In the books, all werewolves suffered from certain symptoms of the disease, even when they weren't transformed. Rosie decided to interpret this as a sort of constant presence. The wolf is sort of "imprisoned" in Remus's mind when he's not transformed, and Remus can feel his thoughts and reactions. During the full moon, the roles are reversed. Remus is sort of a "passenger" on the wolf's adventures, although he can affect the wolf's behavior somewhat by "shouting" his own opinions.

Remus can definitely be a coward at times. Harry calls him out on it in DH, and I somehow doubt that's the first time he's heard it. Tonks just reached a point where she was fed up. Again, she's more than just a clumsy, bubble-headed Auror.

There was an early draft of this where a little more /did/ happen between the wolf and Tonks, but I was wisely talked out of that by my beta reader. ;)

I spent a lot of time fine-tuning her transformation, so I'm really glad that you liked it. I didn't want it to seem easy. She really wants to do this for Remus and she's willing to go through with it. I thought that was important.

Being 12+ in reviews is a pain, sometimes, I agree. I was tempted to cut the story off at the scene on the side of the cliff in the Dark Forest, but the idea of putting them through that awkward "morning after" had so many funny angles to it. Pleased as can be that you liked it.

Thank you so much for the long, detailed, supportive review! I really appreciate it!


 Report Review

Review #2, by HeyMrsPotter What We Both Deserve

12th May 2013:
Hello! Sorry it's taken me longer than expected to review this. Better late than never, eh?

Usually I review as I read but I just got to the end of this completely forgetting why I was reading in the first place, take that as a good sign haha!

Your characterisation was excellent, Molly was especially good, a typical mother even when the person she's talking to isn't one of her kids.
I've never read anything from Tonks' POV before and the fact that you did it in first person AND you're male is just astounding. I'm really impressed that you managed to write so well from a female perspective, not many men can say they're able to do that!

Your request asked if Tonks' inner voice sounded right: it sounded perfect! She was just the right amount of cheeky, playful, intelligent and also a typical female, worrying about Remus' feelings towards her, though she wouldn't say it aloud! Her 'auror qualities' are evident as well, particularly bravery. Her transformation to wolf was amazing, it really showed how much she NEEDED to do that for Remus and how much she loved him. I also really like that there were hints about her life outside of Remus, her parents and also her days at Hogwarts (I particularly loved the line about her seven DADA teachers)

The forest scene was beautiful, I could imagine every detail and it sort of reminded me of the scene in The Lion King when Nala and Simba were reunited. I loved how playful it was and that they both gave in to their instincts, Tonks forgetting how dangerous the situation could be.

I really liked the relationships that featured in this too, Tonks and Charlie was unexpected but I could definitely imagine them having a fling in their younger days. Remus and Sirius' friendship was also written really well, and Tonks was incorporated perfectly, I loved the line that said she had taken Sirius for a walk and the page three girl trick was hilarious! And of course, Tonks and Remus was great too, I always thought she would have tried very hard to convince him that they were right for each other and that he did deserve her, the humour that she adds in this was an excellent touch, like referring to their child getting a detention before they even got to Hogwarts.

This was yet another story of yours that I LOVED, keep up the beautiful writing and feel free to request another review (although I can't guarantee it won't be more of me gushing at how good you are!)

Author's Response: Hi! Don't worry about the timing. I think -- hope, anyway -- that everyone who posts in your reviewing thread truly appreciates the time and effort you put into it and nobody's going to begrudge you the fact that life doesn't always allow us to get around to things as quickly as we'd like.

You know, with respect to gender, this story is one of the things I've posted on HPFF that I'm most proud of. It really wasn't easy, maintaining what felt like a female perspective on things for almost 10,000 words without messing it up somehow. It was a little easier with Tonks, I guess, because she's sort of tomboyish. I can't even imagine trying to do this with Fleur. But I'm always really pleased to hear from a female reader that I did a good job with it.

Wow! I'm beyond pleased that you liked the way I characterized Tonks. I was a little worried that I made her too self-confident, but I guess I sprinkled in just enough self-doubt here and there. I did try to emphasize how brave she is in a "devil may care" sort of way. Overall, I never felt like she got as much attention in the books as she deserved. JKR used her more for comic relief until the tragedy of her death.

I had never really thought about the forest scene in terms of Simba and Nala, but I guess it works. I love it when other people see things in my writing that I never actually thought of. :)

I got all of my Tonks/Charlie head canon from a story that I'm not allowed to identify because it's not on HPFF. Suffice it to say that it made a big impression. I really like the idea of the two of them together. They're both free spirits in a way. Tonks and Remus always seemed like a natural match to me. They're both misfits, but both very caring people. And once she sets her sights on him, she's way too stubborn to take no for an answer.

Well, I have to say that I wasn't really prepared for such a warm reception. Thank you so much for all of the kind, supportive words! It made my day.


 Report Review

Review #3, by Zuko What We Both Deserve

30th April 2013:
I choose to believe it's possible for metamorphs to change into animals too. I've never really thought about it in this way though. I thoroughly enjoyed this. You captured her awkwardness and determination well.

Author's Response: Hi! I'm glad we agree on that point. And I'm really pleased that you enjoyed the story. Thanks for taking a moment to review!

 Report Review

Review #4, by MissMdsty What We Both Deserve

11th February 2013:
Hello there! I'm here with your requested review!

I've said this before and I will say it again, mainly because I know you'll forgive me for repeating myself. Reading something you wrote is such a treat for me. I know it will always be amazing and it will make me laugh and give me things to think about. This story was no exception.

Tonks is such an amazing character and her role in the books is too small. We needed to see more of her. What you've shown here is the picture of a woman that is a walking contradiction. She is smart, funny, magically gifted and talented, yet deep down she is a scared little girl that wants affection, that wants the man she loves to love her back. A scared girl with a language that'll give any man a run for his money.

What I saw in this story is something that made my heart warm up and by the end I was reduced to a mess of mushy feelings. That's love. It's true, honest to God, love. She changed species for him! Species! I actually don't really care whether metamorphs can change into animals or not, because you've painted such a beautiful picture of her attemp to get close to Remus, that I believed every last word of it.

The descriptions were amazing. I felt every bone in her body, every patch of fur growing (she doesn't have to shave and she gets to marry Remus? I have no words to describe how unfair that is!). You painted the picture of the wolf and his mate so well that I could even smell what she was smelling.

I know you said you wanted feedback on the first person POV. I have to say that a lot of other guys would envy you. You really managed to understand women! Joke aside, I do feel like you've created the perfect balance between the humor, the drama and the action in this story and you had Tonks go through all of these different emotions perfectly.

The last part of the dialogue really brought everything together. What was that saying? If you can make them laugh, you can make them do anything?

The story was very good, I enjoyed it so much (I might've let out an embarassing kind of fangirl squeal when I saw your name in the thread). Just the descriptions, the dialogue, the way in which you took us into her mind, all of these things put together made for a perfect piece! So, good job on this and I'm looking forward to reading more from you in a first-person POV!

Author's Response: Hi, there! Thanks so much for filling my request. I hope I speak for everyone when I say that I really appreciate people who are willing to offer up their time and thoughtfulness to the community.

I agree completely. Tonks was such an interesting character with so much potential, and I always felt like she got more than a little short-changed in the books. Of course, there were so many interesting minor characters in the HP world that JKR could have made the books three times as long as they were and still not given every character their due. That's part of what makes it so much fun to write fan fic.

Ha. I hadn't thought of it quite that way, but yes, she does change species for him. It is a pretty big deal. Very difficult and very painful. The canonality of it all is way up in the air, but I honestly stopped caring past a certain point. This is my take and I'm sticking with it!

Ha! Yes, I think being a metamorph gives Tonks all kinds of unfair advantages in life. I think you're the first reviewer who's ever said that they could smell what I was writing. I'm not sure whether to be flattered or not. ;)

So it was more than a little intimidating to try to write a female character from the first person PoV. I definitely had some help along the way from my beta reader and my pal Jami. But Tonks is so tomboyish that it made things a little easier. I would never in a million years attempt this with Fleur, for instance.

I thought that was important for Tonks and Remus to share a real, hearty, honest-to-goodness laugh. She's such a clown at heart and he's so grim and tormented that it seemed like the perfect expression of the two of them forming a true connection.

I'm really, really glad that you enjoyed it. It was fun to write and I really enjoyed taking Rosie's ideas about The Wolf having a separate and distinct personality from Remus and playing around with that a bit. I'm still working on plot sketches for my new first-person idea. Who knows when it will see the light of day. But now I feel much more encouraged to tackle it. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


 Report Review

Review #5, by Reader What We Both Deserve

4th February 2013:
You're right about the cannon thing even tho i dont agree with that being possible but separately it does bother me that everyone forgets that Remus takes wolfsbane potion now making him docile and able to happily curl up and fall asleep at home, otherwise: loved it!!

Author's Response: Everyone has their own opinion, that's part of what makes it fun. I'm not sure whether Remus would have had access to Wolfsbane potion after his falling-out with Snape at the end of Prisoner of Azkaban. It was supposed to be expensive and difficult to prepare, as I recall.

I'm glad you liked the story. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


 Report Review

Review #6, by GingeredTea What We Both Deserve

5th January 2013:
A lot of things in this story made me laugh. At first, I was a bit disjointed by Tonk's perspective, because it is a bit...well odd, but Tonks is odd, so it is sort of charming and endearing. Plus, you make her very funny.

I simply loved it - I don't know what else to say. It was a bit awkward to get into, but not overly so. I couldn't stop reading long enough to make a ramble comment. ;) Thanks for the read!

I did find a few typos, so here they are:

You have an extra 'the' in this sentence: "I always had this strange feeling like she could look right into my head and see all of the very unladylike [[the]] things I was dying to do to her son."

I think you need to add the word 'up' here and remove 'with': "Maybe being able to change your appearance at will screws {with} your sense of self [UP] worse than people realize.
Why? Because the phrase "self worth" is really common and the with is a little disjointed - together they had my mind asking - 'is this, supposed to be self worth and she forgot the 'more'?

Do you mean 'races' or 'rears' here? He [rares] forward on his front paws, pressing his hind legs against the base of a tree and launching himself at me.

I think you meant 'I' here: [It] finish pulling the jumper down over my undershirt and turn to find a slightly worried look on his face.

Author's Response: OK, so I'm not going to respond to this in order, because I want to thank you for pointing out the typos first. After a thorough beta read, nearly 300 chapter-reads and 10 other reviews, you managed to find things that everyone else missed, so my hat is off to you!

On to the substantive stuff, I'm really glad that the story pulled you in. This was one of those stories that wound up being so long that I was afraid I was going to lose people partway through. I'm glad that didn't happen.

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!


 Report Review

Review #7, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing What We Both Deserve

4th January 2013:
I was looking for a Remus/Tonks story and stumbled across this and I must say I was blown away! I absolutely adored this piece.

Throughout the whole thing I loved the first person view. Tonks was hilarious and had me laughing at numerous bits. I really liked the part where she questioned the different people she could be - the sentence about Bellatrix was particularly moving. I thought the comparison of her changing personality to her appearance was really clever and I loved it. While the idea about being able to change your appearance at will sounds good I think you have to be a pretty confident person to be able to handle it. If you had low self-confidence how would you ever be satisfied?

I thought you made a great job of all the characters and their relationships with each other. Molly Weasley to me was spot on with her motherly nature toward Tonks. I liked how you got in the line about never crossing her - Bellatrix obviously learnt that the hard way!

I also love the idea of Charlie and Tonks being in a relationship before and the parts where she brings it up are so funny to read. The bit about her still wanting to have Charlie but then after being in bed with her best friend was a nice touch.

You made a really good job of talking about her relationship with Sirius too, making it really funny whilst almost making it seem like a passing comment too. It was great to read. I like the idea that they made up for lost time as both hated that side of their family. When she 'took him out for a walk' though and he picked out the page 3 girls to the unsuspecting Muggles then Tonks mimicking Snape just had me in stitches; just a shame I didn't have the Tergeo spell myself...

I thought the way you built up to the point where she goes after Remus in the Shrieking Shack was full of detail and not rushed at all. I felt as though I was going along with her and feeling all her emotions too. Then your description of the wolf was just amazing. You captured just enough Remus while also keeping him and the wolf still separate and kept it up the whole way through, it was honestly just so great to read! The part where Tonks whispers as she thinks Remus won't here really made me smile. I liked how you brought all the emotions the wolf couldn't openly display, like laughing, into it through his eyes. Eyes always give true emotion away and it made what you were writing believable.

Again, I really have to commend you for the pace and level of detail you put in. Making the wolf thrash about and injure himself really made it hit home that this was Remus, beating himself up as always. I liked the part you added in about Tonks knowing a bit of what happens from Sirius, it would give her a great starting point on handling the situation.

I know you said that a lot of people don't agree with animal transfiguration in fanfic but I didn't see a problem with it at all. I'm sure Tonks changes her nose into a pig nose as well as other things so why not go all the way? Okay, so you did take it much further but I believed everything I was reading. It didnít just happen all in one go, she had to do each bit carefully and bit by bit. I think it was such a great idea and you wrote it beautifully, my heart went out to her when she was in pain from rearranging her spine and so on. I think it was right that it hurt her like hell though and I think it was great that you gave every bit of detail and didn't hold anything back. It would give Remus a clear message that she was deadly serious about them. Straight away though you then went and put in the humour where she's worried about what kind of greeting he may be expecting. You got the balance spot on.

The next section was just so sweet and lovely. He accepted her wolf form and then waited for her and they shared a perfect night. I just loved every second - it was so amazing. Can I keep him as a pet too? Then frolicking about in the woods together - gah - this just had to happen. In my head this definitely happened on more than one occasion!

So yeah - I love this story if you hadn't already got that from my comments so far. I particularly enjoyed little comments you made about the seven Defence Against the Dark Arts teachers and Remus being a masochist. Reading bits like that always make me smile. Everything just fit together perfectly throughout the whole thing.

I will be checking out your other stories too - this was amazing! Sorry about the long review by the way - I got a bit carried away.

Lauren

Author's Response: Wow! I have to say that I'm more than a little intimidated by the length of this review. In a really good way, of course. It's so awesome that I'm worried that I'll never be able to do it justice with my response. Here goes...

This was the first time I ever wrote anything in the first person PoV. I really like how it turned out, but it was a lot harder than I was expecting. I kept slipping into third person and then having to go back and fix it. It was worth it, though, I think. Tonks is such an interesting character and she barely gets any attention in the books. I thoroughly enjoyed exploring her thoughts and feelings.

Molly was easier to write than I thought she might be. I've seen the idea of Tonks and Charlie being a couple while they were in school in a few good stories. It isn't canon, but I think it's "fanon" for a lot of folks. Personally, I love the idea, so I'm really glad it worked for you. If you've seen Jami's story Hazardous, you know how much I like them together.

To me, I think Tonks and Sirius did share a bond of being part of a family that loathed them and that they loathed in turn. They also had a fairly irreverent approach to life. I think they would have gotten along fabulously. We could all use a little Tergeo from time to time. ;)

I didn't start out intending for the build-up to her encounter with the wolf to take quite so long, but I had all of these awesome "Tonks thoughts" in my head and I wanted to have a chance to use them all. So the walk from the Three Broomsticks to the shack got a bit longer. ;) I'm glad it didn't drag.

Tonks's ability to change herself into a werewolf is one of those things that you either like or you don't I guess. So far I haven't had any reviewers who really didn't like it. Then again, maybe those folks just didn't bother to review. It could be self-selecting that way. Regardless, I'm glad that you liked the transformation. I didn't want it to seem easy, either in terms of time or the pain involved. I wanted to emphasize just how much Tonks is putting herself through to share this with Remus.

I wish we all could have a pet Remus. Partly because that would mean he wasn't dead. :-/ I'm now at a point where I'm pretty sure it happened, too.

Good stories are all about the little things, so I'm pleased as can be that you liked them all.

Thank you so much for this long, lovely, detailed and all-around fantastic review. It absolutely made my day!


 Report Review

Review #8, by Gabriella Hunter What We Both Deserve

1st January 2013:
Hello!

Its Gabbie here with your requested review and since we've never spoken before, its nice to meet you and all that. :D
I'm a really big werewolf fan by the way and I love a good story/move/whatnot featuring them so thanks for this!
The way that you have your Tonks is pretty fantastic, the characterization is just fantastic. I'm not sure how you managed to do it but she seems so well thought out that I could imagine this being a full story (Someday?) and I would attack it in minutes.
She's a complex personality and I think you played on all of that really well. The beginning with her and Molly, who just oozes motherly were really engrossing, I was able to gather so much from just those few sentences between them.
I'd wondered about how Sirius's death had affected everyone else and knowing how much he had meant to Tonk's was so bittersweet. From not knowing anyone in her mother's family and finally, finally making a connection with him and then, having him taken away by her own aunt? I couldn't imagine what she had been feeling. :(
So, her relationship and feelings for Remus seemed to show themselves more and more as the chapter went on. I had a feeling from the beginning that she was just concerned as a friend but as you went on, it was obvious that it was more than that.
And that Tonk's is awfully stubborn. ^
What she does for Remus was so bold, dangerous and touching. I'm not sure if I could be able to really put it into words how it made me feel to see her risking her life so much for him. She wanted to show him just how much she could handle and actually shifting for him? Gripping. Took some courage to go that far for someone and those moments were so tense while she was interacting with the wolf.
I was afraid for her for a minute, to be honest. I wasn't sure if he woudl attack her or, worse, hurt himself to get away from her.
I thought that your detailed description of the change for Tonks was probably one of the best that I've read. The pain and agony of it, the awkwardness of leaving a part of your humanity behind, that's not easy to write. I think it was wonderfuly dark and gritty and I'm all for that sort of thing anyway. Love a dark story! :D
Now, onto that stroll...
The Wolf showed so much compassion for Tonks and their bonding in the forest with nothing between them was something that I knew she hoped for with Remus. I'm not sure if you did that on purpose but that's what translated to me as I read it. Make sense? I hope so! D':
You left me with a good ending too. It wasn't fluffy, it wasn't Remus giving in and proclaiming the heaven and stars to her. The hesitation and even the funny bits were relatable and left me hanging, even though I know that they make it in the end.
Oh, and I liked wondering about what Remus's bum looked like naked. ;)
Hehehe.
So, I wish I could leave you this amazingly long review (Like I've seen others do) but I just can't express how beautifully haunted this was. Gorgeous writing and the overall effect will linger in me, I might just fangirl over you on the forums so be prepared for that. >:D
Thanks for a great read!
Much love,
Gabbie!

Author's Response: Hi, there!

I never really thought about turning this into something longer since I wrote it for a challenge, but hey, you never know! It was a lot of fun to write. Being a guy, I was worried about whether I could write Tonks from a first-person point of view. Sounds like it worked out alright.

Part of what makes the HP fandom so much fun to write in is the fact that the books are almost completely written from Harry's point of view. So there are so many events -- Sirius's death being one -- where we never really find out how other characters are affected. It leaves a lot of room to explore.

Whew! I'm really glad that the description of Tonks's transformation worked well for you. It took a few tries to get it to the point where I was happy with it, and then my beta reader worked it over some more. I definitely didn't want it to sound easy.

My wolf is based pretty closely on the version in Rosie's story that this one is dedicated to. Her concept of Remus and the wolf having this duality where they're two separate entities sharing the same body really inspired me.

What does Remus's bum look like? Well, you'll have to fill in the details for yourself. ;)

I'm really glad that you enjoyed the story. Thanks so much for this awesome reviews!


 Report Review

Review #9, by Toujours Padfoot What We Both Deserve

1st January 2013:
I'm with you on this one - until JKR disproves it, I don't see how it's impossible. After all, if Tonks could turn her nose into a pig's snout or a beak, why shouldn't she be able to do that with the rest of her body, as well? Thinking about Metamorphs is really fascinating; if you think about it, Tonks would never have to age. So even if she and Remus both survived, she would probably be forever young and pristine while he was perpetually looking even older than he really was.

Remus/Tonks is one of my OTPs, second only to Hermione/Ron. I love everything about the ship. So it was nothing short of an absolute delight to read this, and it did not at all feel like a 9000-word story. It flew by so quickly!

You had me laughing out loud so many times. Tonk's narration is one of the most amusing narrations I've ever had the pleasure of reading. I'm sorry to regurgitate your writing back at you, but I have no choice but to go over some of my favorite parts:

He was special to me because I finally met somebody from my mother's family who wasn't a raving pureblood nutter.
- I have never thought about this. What a good point! Her mother's side of the family is so wrapped in malevolence and mystery that you'd have to be curious about them, and certainly resent them at points. To be able to hang out with one of them who was normal - not just normal but also a hero, someone to admire and who is one of the only Blacks who redeems his name - would be such a wonderful experience. I'm sorry she lost that, but happy she got to at least meet him and get to know him before his death.

All I can do in response is make a noise that probably sounds like a twelve-year-old girl squealing at a concert while her best friend tries to choke her to death.
- Okay at this part I laughed so loud that my little one came up and asked me 'what was so funny' and I really didn't know what to say. So after she went away I was just left sitting here snorting to myself.

This will really come in handy if I ever decide to leave the magical world behind and run off to join the circus.
- Tonks is so hilarious, omg! Her thoughts about everything reminds me of a child sometimes, in the way she jumps from one thing to another, all excited. I can feel her energy just by seeing her thought process. Especially her tipsy thought process. Seriously entertaining keeping Remus as a pet, and I seriously just want to sit down on my haunches and scratch myself all over right now. I'm so impressed by your versatility. You can do every single genre flawlessly - angst, humor, romance, action. It's not even fair.

I love the acoustics of this nose. I'll have to remember it the next time I want to scare the pants off of Fred and George in the basement of Grimmauld Place.

I think he's got Charlie beat in more than just age and height. I wish I could keep the devilish little grin off of my face. No I don't.

Endlessly amusing. Every time I a smile faded from my face and things were starting to look serious, Tonks's thoughts took a funny turn again and I was laughing all over. Brilliant, brilliant story. One of these days I need to check out "His Pack of Four", because if it inspired this then it must be pretty good.

Thank you, once again, for participating in my challenge!

Author's Response: Hello, hello!

Maybe someday something on Pottermore or -- dare we dream -- another book will come along and disprove my theory, but for now I'm sticking with it. For all the reasons you list and then some, I think it should be possible.

I'm really glad that the story didn't drag for you. Considering the length, that was a major concern of mine.

You know -- and believe me, this is strange considering that I'm a guy -- I really enjoyed writing this all from Tonks's point of view. This story was my first dalliance with the first-person narrative style and I it was a lot of fun. The only tough part was that I kept slipping back into third person and then having to go back and correct myself.

So I take it you have some experience with 12-year-old girls squealing at concerts? Were you the choker or the chokee?

Some people don't like reviews that include a lot of quotations from the story. Me? I love it. It's so interesting to me to see which lines caught people's attention. Thanks for that!

His Pack of Four is definitely worth your time. I've really enjoying beta reading for that one.

For the final time, thank you so much for organizing such a fun and rewarding challenge. It was awesome to be a part of. And thanks for reading and reviewing!


 Report Review

Review #10, by UnluckyStar57 What We Both Deserve

9th December 2012:
Hi! I was surprised that you requested again so quickly for another of my reviews! Of course, it'll probably be just as gushy as the last two were. :)

Well, to start off, I actually have a borderline-halfway-constructive thing to say. It's just a really nitpicky thing about words.
The thing is, when Tonks was talking to Molly in the kitchen, in her head she said that Sirius "got [her] sense of humor." Originally, I was thinking that would be a by backwards, because Sirius was born before Tonks and so if anyone inherited a sense of humor, it would be her (so, I saw it in a hereditary sort of way). But now that I'm ruining about it a little more, you might've meant that he "got" her sense of humor, as in, he "understood" it. Either way, I think it might be a little more clear if you could say "We had/have the same sense of humor" (the verb choice is there because I couldn't decide which would be better). But that's just my own personal thing, and if I'm just way out in left field and not even close to what you were thinking, then just ignore all that. :)

Tonk's transformation was quite odd for me to read, not gonna lie. But after reading your author's note, I can definitely appreciate it a bit more. Her thoughts had all the right details to tell us what was happening, and it wasn't really so very out of the blue. It was a very creative twist on how she persuaded Remus to give them a try.

One question I have is this: In your head, do you think that Snape would still be giving the Wolfsbane Potion to Remus? Or is he just a butt trumpet and refuses to make it? When I read about the way Remus the werewolf was acting, I thought about the potion and I just wondered if he would be taking it in your version of that period of time.

Tonks' thoughts are definitely believable. It's really cool to get inside a character's head that you don't really know vey well, and to take a look around. She seems to display all of the traits that J.K. Rowling wrote her to have, which is a good thing. The fact that you delved deeper is even better. As for her relationship with Charlie, I don't know if that was just something you wanted to happen or if it actually is canon. Either way, I rather could see them together, that is, until she grew up and set her sights on older men. :)
I also never pictured her being so... Suggestive, but it really does fit who she is.

I really liked the notion of "where the man ends and the wolf begins." With that, you kind of added a whole ew layer to what was already a pretty complex fic. It was an excellent read, and I hope I didn't question things too annoyingly.

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Hi, there! Terribly sorry to take so long to respond. This holiday review swap has been all-consuming, but in a good way! ;)

I agree with you on that line about Sirius getting her sense of humor. I struggled with that, hated the way it was phrased, then sort of forgot about it while I was doing the final editing. It needs to be changed.

I felt ambivalent about letting Tonks change into a werewolf, but frankly the story doesn't work without it, so I chose to believe what was necessary.

In my head, I believe that Remus and Snape had a serious falling-out after Snape outed him as a werewolf. Angry words were doubtless exchanged, possibly hexes, and I'm sure that Sirius didn't make things any better. Then when Sirius was killed, I'm sure Snape didn't shed any tears over it. So if Remus hasn't found another source of wolfsbane potion, I'm just guessing that he goes without.

I really, really enjoyed writing Tonks from the first person. She's so funny and self-deprecating, but also very vulnerable in a way. Her relationship with Charlie was not canon, but I've read so many lovely fics that pair the two of them during their school days that it's become part of my reality. I can't imagine it any other way.

All of the ideas about man and wolf coexisting inside the same body I have to credit to Remus. Her story was the inspiration for this one, and this one is dedicated to her as part of the challenge.

I didn't find your questions annoying at all! If I can't explain my thoughts to an educated but skeptical reader, they probably weren't very clear in the first place. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


 Report Review

Review #11, by Liz What We Both Deserve

21st November 2012:
Brilliant. I loved it. Really well-written, no grammar errors or typos that I remember, awesome concept, accurate and cute characterization of Tonks. (:

Author's Response: I'm really glad that you enjoyed it. This was a lot of fun to write.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


 Report Review

Review #12, by Roots in Water What We Both Deserve

17th November 2012:
It's Roots in Water here with your review!

I don't think that I've ever read a story similar to this... It was definitely very original and an enjoyable read.

To begin, I think that your first person narrative really allowed you to capture Tonks in a manner that wouldn't have happened otherwise. So much of her character is bound in her leaping thoughts and weird logic and you were able to explore this in first person. I don't even know how you would have begun to do that in third person.

I really enjoyed her conversation with Molly, though I had to reread the beginning of the section a few times before I realized that she was talking with Molly (I was somehow under the impression that she was eavesdropping on Molly's conversation with someone else and I was trying to figure out who it was...). It was nice to see Molly reprise her favourite role and do it with such success. She was such a loveable character in the books and you've captured that again here.

I found her thoughts about her past relationship with Charlie very interesting because Molly was trying to set her up with Bill in the sixth book. Is their relationship canon? Either way I liked how you described their relationship: very good friends who decided to give a romantic relationship a try. Tonks' comments/comparisons of it with her blossoming relationship with Remus were a nice touch.

I noticed two small things as I was reading and they could just fall under personal preference. Feel free to ignore! The first is with the phrase "No trouble, dear"; when Molly says this I think that it would sound more like her if it was lengthened just a tad, to something along the lines of "It was no trouble, dear" or "No trouble at all, dear". The second is with the phrase "I feel badly for him". I'm not sure exactly what the grammar rules are for this but I think that it would be "bad" instead of "badly". Sorry if I've gotten it wrong.

I think that the premise of the story is very believable. We know very well that Remus was reluctant to start a relationship with Tonks and we also know that Tonks succeeded in winning his heart. This was an explanation of one of the first stepping stones between those two points.

Though your idea about metamorphs being able to transform into animals is unusual, I definitely think that you sold it by paying such close attention to her transformation. If you had simply said that she transformed into a werewolf, it wouldn't have worked. Instead, with the lengthly description you made it seem canon that they could transform into animals.

However, I was surprised when Tonks just walked into the room with Remus. I would have thought that she'd be warier around a werewolf... Especially not knowing that he was chained. But then again he was probably taking Wolfsbane... Which leads me to my next point of confusion. I wasn't sure whether or not he was under Wolfsbane because while at times he acted more human than animal, as though he could understand Tonks, there were also moments where he seemed to have disappeared under the influence of the wolf, such as the moment where he jumps through the window. What are your thoughts on the matter?

On a final note, I absolutely loved your description of Sirius and Remus' relationship. It fit perfectly with what I imagined their relationship to be and you gave it such depth.

All in all, I think that you did a great job with the story! I enjoyed reading your characterization of Tonks, our favourite metamorph! Thanks for requesting a review and I hope that my comments are helpful!

Author's Response: Hi, there! Sorry for the terribly slow response.

Whew! I'm glad you liked the first-person. Writing it was an adventure, to say the least. I'm not at all used to it and I kept fading back into third person and then having to go back and fix it. Tonks is a huge amount of fun to write in third person, though. So much personality to draw on.

I thought Molly was a really good sounding board to help Tonks get over her doubts about pursuing Remus. She wants to see everybody happy and in love, so I figured that she would try to nudge things along.

Tonks and Charlie's relationship is not canon, although we know they were roughly the same age. It's just one of those very appealing bits of head canon I've picked up along the way. Most of my favorite Tonks stories involve Charlie in some way, usually as the ex-boyfriend that she can't quite ever get over. As far as Molly trying to fix Tonks up with Bill, I guess I sort of chose to ignore that part.

I think I like your phrasing on those two points. I also have a few other things I need to patch up, so maybe I'll do some editing on this later today.

I'm sort of relieved that you thought the idea of a metamorph being able to transform into an animal form like a werewolf was believable. It's far and away the biggest stretch of the story, I think, but there's nothing in canon that says it isn't possible. I did try really hard to make it seem really difficult and painful. To me, that was the key to selling the whole thing.

Hmmnnn... Maybe I didn't explain the reason why Tonks walked into the room quite well enough. Her thought process is basically that since she can hear him on the other side of the room and he obviously knows that she's there -- snarling, growling, etc. -- he must have restrained himself somehow. Plus, she's an Auror and she's armed, so she's probably very comfortable with her ability to take care of herself.

I'm really glad you liked the story. It was fun to write and lined up nicely with the story it was dedicated to. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


 Report Review

Review #13, by caoty What We Both Deserve

1st November 2012:
So I was maybe kinda avoiding this one-shot because it's me and it's Tonks/Remus. But then you did first-person Tonks, and she's my weak point. Damn you.

She's lovely. Perfectly in character, especially since I've been reading that one fic with the sex and the Pot Noodles that Jami gave me a link to. I was expecting third person and was pleasantly surprised.

Anyway, can I just say, awesome-Tonks or no awesome-Tonks:
>Bill and the twins used to call them an old, married couple.
made me happy, because, of course, they totally were. :D

I was intrigued by how you chose to characterise the wolf, as opposed or not-opposed to Remus. Personally, I thought, and still think, that a werewolf turns into a straight-up wolf at the moon, and therefore has no memory of the night and wakes up with a hangover of death. (Maybe the werewolf myth originated from a fear of addiction or epilepsy or some kind of dissociation... don't mind me, just being a sociology geek.) Anyway. It works regardless, and it's interesting.

You've still got some Americanisms in there - I was confused for a bit by 'pounds', 'cause, like, what wolf would really need thirty quid? And then I went off on a bit of a tangent about a wolf going shopping because I'm sleep deprived. It was hilarious, but probably not what you were going for.

Anyway. Good luck with the challenge (is that the third time I've told you that? Jesus.)

Author's Response: Ha ha! Now that I know your weak point... well, it's not a very big weak point. I can't just go around writing first-person Tonks for the rest of my life. Don't you have some other weakness, like the color yellow or kryptonite or you're bad with fractions? Because if you did, boy, would I ever exploit it!

I know the story you're talking about and I'm the one who first showed that one to Jami. It's brilliant, isn't it? And I could pretend that none of the inspiration for this story came from that one, but you're not stupid. I'm sure the similarities are fairly apparent.

Ha! I was not thinking of feeding caoty's Sirius/Remus fantasy ship when I wrote that line, but obviously it plays right to it. Sometimes it's better to be lucky than good.

The way I characterized the wolf was borrowed almost entirely from the story that this is dedicated to. That said, I like it a lot. We know that wolfsbane potion, if properly brewed and taken before the night of the full moon, allows a victim of lycanthropy to retain his mental faculties after the transformation. So to me the idea of the human/wolf duality has precedent and is very interesting besides.

I'm interested that you mentioned pounds. I've been told by my beta reader that while the metric system is the "official" standard in the UK that imperial measures are still quite commonly used. And face it, we're talking about a society that still pays for things with precious metals, writes with parchment and quills and dresses like the cast of Les Mis. I don't think it's too much of a stretch to imagine that they haven't gone out of their way to embrace the metric system.

Thanks for your repeated good wishes. And thanks for reading and reviewing!


 Report Review

Review #14, by Jchrissy What We Both Deserve

26th October 2012:
Holy Cow! How is this over 9,000 words?? It absolutely doesn't feel like it.

Anway. Sorry for being a slow poke! Hiii! And I just creeped over the reviews you have on this... very pleased that Rosie also found it funny to be reading you from a first person Girls PoV.

I can absolutely relate to Tonks in this first section in Mollyís kitchen. Mainly with the patience thing. Because patience is not a virtue. Itís an annoying way to make people uneasy.

I also really liked the few comparisons to Molly and her own Mother. Considering sheís the same age as Charlie, Molly is probably around the same age as her parents. But itís nice that they feel more like friends in this. And that Tonks is able to swallow her embarrassment and take advantage of this situation by quizzing Molly a bit more.

Ahh. I have to say that the paragraph revolving around Tonks being herself may be my favorite. Iíve wondered that before. What you do when you can literally be anyone. Does it enhance your self esteem knowing you can turn yourself into anything, the most beautiful woman, or ruin it because thatís exactly what people see as opposed to the person? Iím really happy you also snuck in the different sides of her characters, and I think made a small joke to yourself about your own personal annoyance with what she chooses to do with her powers in the HP series.

So as disappointed as I was to hear about our favorite part probably not being the best to include, I do really love the changes. The image of the two Wolfies cuddling together was precious. I wanted to curl up with them. But.. they probably wouldnít have appreciated that. Haha.

Okay, back up. Sorry, got ahead of myself.

The change is so awesome. I canít get over that. It just felt very realistic and I think enduring that, despite Remus probably not being pleased she had to nor would he ask her to, did show him how committed she is to this. It was an awesome gesture.

Okay, rewind again. Remus is back to sensible too careful Remus. And Tonks is clearly not taking that.

Oh God. I remember loving this while reading it, the part about what kind of amateur does he think heís dealing. Still love it. In my head Tonks always has this innocent look to her, no matter how deceiving that look might be, she still has it. And for some reason that line just kind of increased it, which it shouldnít have.. but it did. She balance out his moody, woe is me, side perfectly. Not that Remus doesnít have right to kind of had that attitude, heís definitely been handed the short end of the stick, but she brings a new kind of life to them.

So..whatís next? :P. I know I know, Iím getting greedy. Itís just been so excited to see you coming up with all these amazingly varied pieces!

Author's Response: I guess I have to respond to this lovely review, don't I? I am saddened to have it disappear from my Unanswered Reviews page, but that is the circle of life.

I really had no intention of this story being so long when I started writing it. I was enjoying myself so much. I just couldn't stop.

I think I found my inner woman while I was writing this. Or at least my inner shape-shifting tomboy witch. The former would be a lot more useful in the long run, I suppose.

Patience is a virtue for **most** people. :-P

Molly is, I believe, somewhere between 2 and 5 years older than Andromeda, because she's 1 year older than Bellatrix. So in the ballpark, yes. I feel like she took a strong liking to Tonks because Tonks, in turn, was definitely a friend and a sort of role model for Ginny and Hermione. Role model in the sense of being an Auror, of course, not in the sense of her rather tumultuous love life.

I hadn't thought Tonks's psyche through to quite that extent, but it all makes perfect sense. That's a great question you pose. What little we see of Tonks in the books, she always seems sort of hot-and-cold. She's clearly gifted in many ways beyond just being a metamorph, but she's never really comfortable around "the adults". And, yes, I did slip in the part about amusing Ginny and Hermione because that was the major use of her talents for much of the books.

You know the story. What was done had to be done. I'll simply leave it at that.

Thank you so much for your wise counsel on the shift. It did need to be something that she really had to work at. Something she had to suffer for. That made the whole scene so much more meaningful, I think.

Ha. Yeah, Tonks isn't an amateur by any means, and she would doubtless prefer that Remus isn't completely, 100% aware of that fact. She's funny that way.

I'm not sure what's next. I feel like I should write at least one more chapter of Detox. It's sort of languishing right now.

Thanks so much for all of your amazing support and enthusiasm. You make this all much more fun. Til next time, darling!


 Report Review

Review #15, by Remus What We Both Deserve

25th October 2012:
I'm here! Hopefully by the end of this I'll be inspired to tackle the next chapter of HPoF.

You know, I never was one to sit down and think about it but you're right. Sirius is the first one out of Tonk's mother's side to not be a raving pureblood maniac. I can easily picture Sirius and Tonks just talking about their family and perhaps Tonks updating him with information about what has happened. Despite Sirius cutting off his family, I think he would still be curious as to what has happened to his cousins, specially Andromeda of whom he got along. Hmm...now I wonder what Andromeda's and Sirius' meeting would've gone...

I took Sirius for a walk --I just laughed at that.

Poor Tonks! She's impatient! I can honestly relate on that aspect myself.

I have to ask this. Did you have fun writing this? This piece I believe, is your first fic where the narrative is First POV, right? But doing a First POV through a woman's eyes...haha! Were you, at one point, thinking 'what am I doing here...?!"

I laughed when Tonks just starts freaking out about Mollys' comment about Remus asking her out. You know, while some fans complained that Remus's relationship with Tonks came out of nowhere, I think that they two of them went on a couple of dates. I think Remus allowed himself a bit of dating before he realized what he was doing and put a stop to it. Hmm...told you this might help me with my writer's block! :D

The paragraph where Tonks asks herself why she's at Hogsmeade and then realizes that she's there because of Remus... I just laughed. Couldn't stop laughing actually! That has got to be my favorite part of the entire story!

As soon as I read that she's going up the stairs, I immediately imagined Wolf just sitting still for a moment or so to listen as the intruder is coming into his territory. He's panicking of course and that's why he wants to attack Tonks. Got a question though, is this the werewolf design from the movie or the books? The reason I ask is because you keep mentioning 'feet' and 'arm' which I would consider human characteristics. Then again, this is your take on it, I'm just wondering. XD

Hahaha! I too want to keep Remus as a pet! :D

OMG! The shifting sounds painful! It's one thing to write about it but when you just read it having no clue as to what is going to happen next...All I could think was "oww...oww that sounds painful..." Great job on that scene!

I totally just squeed when she puts herself in a submissive pose. Probably saved her life! And did the wolf just laugh at her when she falls? If so, that's just brilliant! Also him inspecting to make sure that she's alright after she runs into the tree was a great detail.

The part where Tonks launches herself at Remus and she lands on top of him sort of remind me of the Lion King. However, it was sweet! And I totally imagine the two of them behaving this way on their first outing together.

This was a great story! I honestly think that, until JKR tells me otherwise, Tonks joined Remus on those nights. Perhaps it came easy for her to become an animagi due to her power or perhaps she shifted as you had her do here but nevertheless...in my head canon she joins Remus.

Anyway! Thank you! Thank you!!! X 10 I LOOOVED this story!! It immediately went into my faves! :D

Until next time!

--Rosie

Author's Response: Hello, darling!

First off, I'm very glad that you enjoyed this. It was obviously inspired in very large part by the wonderful story that you've crafted in HPoF. I'm so happy to have played a small part in that. It's been fun and rewarding and more than anything else I've really enjoyed working with you and getting to know you better.

Canon implies that Andromeda and Sirius got along well, although there's something of a difference in age there. And fanon certainly makes them out to be kindred spirits within the Black family, along with their Uncle Alphard. To me, that implies that Sirius probably would have taken a liking to Tonks if for no other reason than she was Andromeda's daughter. Add to that the obvious similarities in the personalities and their other common interests and I can't see how they wouldn't have hit it off.

I loved the idea of Tonks walking Padfoot around the neighborhood, taking advantage of unsuspecting muggles who were in turn trying to take advantage of the young woman with the pink hair and the dog. Makes me laugh.

You know, Jami was all over that from the word go. "You're writing first person from a woman's point of view? I'm giggling so hard right now!" Honestly, it wasn't that hard. Tonks is, to me, a very unconventional female PoV. She's very tomboyish. If you were asking me to write first-person from Hermione's PoV or heaven forbid Molly's, I couldn't do it. Ginny I might have an outside chance just because I've read so much fan fic around her and I like the character so much. Tonks, in a lot of ways, thinks more like a guy to me.

I started out thinking of this more in terms of the mostly bipedal werewolf in Prisoner of Azkaban and then changed course about halfway through writing it and decided I preferred the more quadrupedal version from the books. I don't think of the werewolf as being purely quadrupedal, though, just predominantly. So Tonks is able to sort of wedge a wand into her front paw and use it, but not well enough to do anything fancy.

I think we all want to keep this version of Remus as a pet. He's warm and fuzzy and soft and not all bitey and tear-your-head-off-ey.

I'm really glad that Tonks's shift didn't sound easy. I wanted to really emphasize how much she's going through in order to do this for Remus. And I think the submissive pose is non-trivial for her, as well. She's just not that type. This story is about more than her just convincing Remus that she cares. In a way, she's also demonstrating it to herself.

I loved writing everything that happens in the Dark Forest. Whether you're thinking of the Lion King or something else, I really enjoyed the idea of these two frolicking and just enjoying themselves. That's what's been missing from the wolf's life for so long.

I really like to think that she did join him, at least as much as he would allow her to. Once Dumbledore began sending him in infiltrate Greyback's pack, their opportunities might have been less.

You're welcome, you're welcome, you're welcome. As I mentioned in the dedication, you were always one of my favorite reviewers on the long journey that was CoB. You've been a great friend and I was very pleased to be able to dedicate this to you. Thank you for all of your help and support and I'm so pleased that you enjoyed it!


 Report Review

Review #16, by TheHeirOfSlytherin What We Both Deserve

25th October 2012:
HEY!!!

So, first off, I agree with you in your Author's note; unless JKR says otherwise, I will believe this can happen. If Tonks can turn her feature's into a duck in OotP, then why can't she go all the way? Besides, you didn't just write 'I changed from human to wolf', you wrote about what comes with it; changing her entire body and the pain that comes with it. You made it very believable.

For your last one-shot for this challenge, I talked about loving the Ron-humor, in this I love the Tonks-humor. She is hilarious and I love how you write her. The way she talked about her and Charlie was just brilliant, I couldn't stop laughing at some points in this. I also love her passion, when she was yelling at wolf-Remus about giving her a chance. They're all traits in Tonks I imagine being her biggest and I love how you write it.

This was amazing, I loved every minute of this.

Sam.

Author's Response: Hi!

I'm glad at least one other person sees things my way. I've written things on here that actually make me dread every new update of Pottermore. I live in fear that some piece of headcanon I've used will be blown out of the water and I'll spend months (years?) responding to reviews written ages after the story was completed that say, "Well, on Pottermore it says..." Do you think I'm overthinking this? ;) That said, I think there are reasonable, well-thought-out arguments on both sides of the question. And we, the fan fiction fanatics of the world, sure do love to argue. We are a nerdy tribe...

Tonks is another one of the characters who just speaks to me as I write. She's snarky and self-deprecating, crude yet caring, headstrong yet fragile in a way. I think I have just enough in common with her to get a good feel for how she speak and reacts. Which parts do we have in common? I leave this as an exercise for the reader.

So glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for stopping by!


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login