7 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Pancakes ...

9th February 2014:
aweshum!!!

Author's Response: Lauren, wat are you doing?! lol thanks btw.

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Review #2, by Pheonix Potioneer ...

9th December 2012:
Yeah, Tom, I think you need to do one thing at a time- kill Harry first, and then daydream about what you want to do with your power.

I like when people write stories from the antagonist's point of view. :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much for this AWESOME review!
It is these kind of reviews I like :P
Keep Reading!


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Review #3, by MissMdsty ...

5th December 2012:
Hey there fellow Griffie! Tagging you from the review thread!

I must say this was hilarious! I read it on my way home from work and I was laughing by myself in the subway. Got me some pretty wierd looks. Eh. Back to you now.

This version of Tom was so funny. It shows that he was a sixteen years old boy. Even though he was smart for his age, he still has the arrogance of youth. As somebody I don't remember their name once said "I'm not young enough to know everything."

The story was funny and sarcastic, it was very nicely written (I love internal monologues). So good job! :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much for this amazing review!
Keep Reading!


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Review #4, by True Author ...

23rd November 2012:
Hello! I'm True Author with your requested review! =]

I never saw a funny story about Lord Voldemort, seriously. So, I'm glad you're trying something unusual, as a one-shot. :D I really liked your idea of this story. It makes us see through a different angle towards Voldemort, I must say. A nice funny story!

Author's Response: Thanks! I have one more really funny one shot also about Voldemort, so you can read that one as well! I think it is better then this one. :P

Thanks again and
Keep Reading!


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Review #5, by Drunaforever ...

10th November 2012:
Haha, this made me laugh :D Great story, very enjoyable!
XD Drunaforever

Author's Response: Thanks!

Keep Reading!


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Review #6, by teh tarik ...

2nd November 2012:
Hello, teh tarik here with your requested review :)

This is an interesting story - and with a very original POV - Tom Riddle's Horcrux. Yes, you certainly took out all the 'scariness' and substituted it for humour. Your Riddle sounds like an arrogant, pompous sort of person with the tendency to complain incessantly :D This is certainly an interesting side of Lord Voldemort.

This was my favourite line:

What was the wretched bird's name? Flakes? Flames?

:)

I feel that your story would be so much better if your character didn't merely provide a commentary of the action going on around him. It would have been nice if you'd chosen to reveal a little more about his deeper thought processes, if you'd written in more detail about his experience of existing in a diary for 50 years and how it all began or something - and it would've been brilliant if you'd done all that and kept the humour in as well.

There's a line here that doesn't really feel right:

The basilisk couldn't hurt me anyways. I wasn't solid yet.

I think in Chamber of Secrets the Heir of Slytherin i.e. Riddle has full control of the basilisk. Not to mention he's a Parselmouth. It's not very likely that the snake is going to suddenly turn on him and eat him up or something.

Other things about the story that need improvement: grammar and punctuation and awkward sentence structures here and there. Some erratic tense shifts as well. I suggest getting a beta reader or someone to proofread your fic and go through these sort of things with you.

This is a solid writing attempt with a very unique POV so well done :) There's room for improvement, so I hope you do consider my advice - feel free to PM me if you need me to explain anything further.

-teh

Author's Response: Wow! Another long review!!! :D :D :D
Thanks for doing this! :)

I really appreciate this review and will take your advise and make this story better!

Keep Reading!!!


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Review #7, by PhoenixFlame8629 ...

28th October 2012:
Hi! It's PhoenixFlame8629 with the review that comes with entering my challenge! I thought this was hilarious. You did a really good job of making a moment that's really scary in the book really funny. Good job! :)

Author's Response: Hey there!
I am really happy you like this! :D Did I win? XD
But it wasn't really that hard to make the most scary moments funny. Or was it? I can't remember. Though I think all the words just flowed of the page naturally like they wanted to be together to make an awesome story. Who knows?


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