Ha I loved this one-shot it was great!
I loved how you made out Dudley's love to be so stereo-typical of that type of family in England. The fact that he wouldn't go to uni as his parents did, but I guess going to sixth form was a big step for him!Then of course entering the family business.
I loved how it was so British as that's often forgotten in most stories, but it's so quintessially British this was a really nice read, because of that!
And the bit about Dudley scrounging a doughnut, I can just imagine him sneaking in and stealing it!
The fact that Dudley found floo powder was genius. As he's just so muggle you wouldn't have thought that he would want to associate himself with the wizarding world, and then he ends up going to St. Mungo's of all the places!
A great one-shot, and I loved seeing Dudley with more depth! Report Review
This is such an awesomely creative little piece. I apologize if this review is short, but since the start was fairly sure I guess it's understandable, right. ;)
You kept to Dudley so perfect, and I can't imagine how proud Vernon would be of his darling son following his footsteps. And Petunia running away with Muriel! That is so, so perfect. I think that you should probably do a separate piece just about that, yeah?
Side note, I just realized that this is a work in progress, that made my day.
Anyway, I love the sort of distain Dudley feels when he runs and into people he knew from school, pretty sure he's probably secretly humiliated. Well, he should be. At least.
I can't believe how well you seem to have gotten his character down. obviously I'll have more on characterization when the next chapter comes out, but so far it's perfect.
Even in the small little bit you manage to get us completely hooked. Dudley going to St. Mungo's?? Oh my… This can't be good.
Also, I wanted to mention that you seem to have mastered the style of writing where all the words fit together so well that it doesn't even like I'm reading it. There isn't too much description, but there's enough that it makes it flow beautifully and I don't feel like I'm ever being jarred out of what's happening. Super jealous of how easy you make it seem. Rawr. Report Review
Dudley messing around with magic! Dudely going to St. Mungo's of all places! Wow, I was not expecting that. I mean, I knew he would end up disappointing his father's desires for him to have a painfully normal life, since the ship is called 'Chudley', but I'd assumed he would just slam into her one day instead of wandering off into the magical realm all of his own inclination. Sometimes I really wonder what's going on up there in his wee walnut brain.
Petunia running away to live with Muriel - LOL! I love how that was just casually thrown in there. So now Vernon's life is in a careful downward spiral that he pretends not to notice, all for the sake of being as normal as possible. That is one delusional man. Once he discovers where his son has been, he's going to explode or something. I think he might be the Muggle equivalent of Umbridge, being a bigot who fears what is different and just loves to be in charge and yell at people. Vernon and Umbridge would make a perfectly horrible Romeo/Juliet pairing.
Anyway, fab beginning to a story! I read Helen's review and she sounds excited about it. She's a lucky girl!
Thank you for participating in my challenge. :) Report Review
OK, first off I want to say, forgive me! I know this is short. So it's fairly unavoidable that this review will also be short. But there are two reasons why I had to read this. First off, it's for Sarah's challenge and I've written three one-shots and a budding short story for it. I feel a certain duty to the stories entered in it. Second, I can't get over the word "Chudley". Why on earth did that never dawn on me before? Genius!
Your Dudley is fantastic. The character was instantly recognizable. All of the prose that surrounded him was instantly recognizable. It's the little things in this. Phrases like, "just fine, thank you very much" and "shove them in his gob" are really what make this piece for me. Your ability to find that voice from the first few chapters of Sorceror's (Philosopher's, if you're from the far side of the pond) Stone and run with it is amazing.
Wow. I am really smitten by the idea of Petunia running off to live with Muriel, of all people. I read so much fan fic where she continues her intense dislike of magic after the war. This was refreshing and I instantly wondered whether you're planning to do more with the idea.
Dudley's life at work sounds genuinely dreadful. After a year of hiding out among magical folk, hearing stories of how his cousin was trying to save the world, it must be horribly boring to try to fit into his father's preferred lifestyle of mind-numbing drudgery. I loved all of the little rationalizations for why it all makes sense somehow. They were perfectly Dursley-ish.
And lastly, when he prepares to journey to St. Mungo's, I felt like cheering for him. How awesome that he's decided not to completely turn his back on his cousin's world and forget that anything ever happened. I always felt like there was a little bit of hope for Dudley. The Dementors scared a little sense into him at the start of OotP, and by the start of DH, he actually appreciates some of the things that Harry did for him. I think I'm really going to enjoy your extension of that sudden warmth he feels toward Harry and the rest of the magical world.
To summarize, I think the idea here is brilliant. I'm excited to see where you take it! Report Review
I do not know how to express how much I love you. First you write me a CHUDLEY and then to make things even better you throw this out
soon enough she had packed her bags and gone back to live with that Muriel woman they had been staying with WHICH YOU KNOW FULL WELL IS LIKE MY ONE TRUE FRIENDSHIP PAIRING WHICH JUST MAKES ME DIE INSIDE LIKE SERIOUSLY I'M SO GLAD YOU DID THAT MARRY ME HANZI BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS IN ACTUAL CANON YEAH?
So yeah this was short and AWESOME and I can totally picture Dudley just plodding along eating his custard creams and Vernon just pretending like everything was all find and everything and ST MUNGOS and seriously THIS IS AWESOME and this is like right up there on the list of the best things I've ever been given (only marginally below my Hogwarts Lego set, favourite chirstmas present of all time, and the umbrella which my friend wrote out half the first HP book on so it's all QUOTED) but the point is your fudging marvellous and I can't wait for the rest of this. AND PLEASE CAN WE HAVE MORE MURIEL/PETUNIA FRIENDSHIP MOMENTS (it happened I tell you!)
So basically i love you and all and let's you know, write about the dursleys and PETUNIA/MURIEL and CHUDLEY 4evas.
you're so fab.
Can't wait for this
lOTS OF WIBBLY LOVE HELENAuthor's Response: EHEHEHEH I WROTE YOU A CHUDLEY. I have chapters planned out and Muriel/Petunia friendshippyness and lots of cuteness and stuff that will happen in a distinct non-cute kind of way but still cute. If that makes sense.
BUT YEAH THIS IS WHAT IT IS NOW. Dudley plodding around in a thinner version of himself and Vernon off his rocker and asfhasfuasfhsufsa St. Mungos will be fun because its in the next chapter and you'll love it. Promise :3
although chudley isn't even going to make itself appear at all for like yonks. well no but yeah. TOO MUCH HAS BEEN SAID.
WIBBLY LOVE FOR YOU MY DEAR.
♥ Report Review
Hello! Wow, this was really interesting to read. I love the narrative voice you've adopted; it's very particular and I can imagine the whole story told by an actual narrator... It's very intriguing and I think you deserve a bit of a well done for building up the suspense. I'd love to find out what's going on! :)Author's Response: adsajkfhsafjas thank you! I loved getting this review in all its loveliness and I'm so sorry it took so long to reply, but I just wanted to keep a hold of it. Alas, this is not feasible and it is time for it to go. :(
Watch out for the second chapter in the new year - I have plans to make updates fast. ;)
♥ Report Review
i'm excited already and i've never even heard of cho/dudley shipping but then you hear she married a muggle so yeah maybe it WAS DUDLEY.
this is sounding really good and i am excited excited excitedAuthor's Response: i've seen chudley cropping up a little bit on the forums and i've only spotted a one-shot so far so i thought it would be interesting to write it myself. :D
i'm glad you're excited because askjhfsjkfgsf i can hardly contain mine! Report Review
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