Reading Reviews for Fraternization
  
14 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Crescent Moon  Shine

1st September 2013:
I love this story. Really original which is great to read. I can't wait to see what's going to happen next.

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Review #2, by AC_rules Shine

7th August 2013:
*Insert Dudley falling out of fire place here*

I AM SO HAPPY THAT THERE IS CHUDLEY.

Also, you you you you WROTE HARRY. I tried to explain my fear of canon characters to someone the other day and they gave me such an odd luck (apparently, going 'so fanfiction is this thing where you can write about characters that already exist... except I'n scared of writing about the ones that exist' makes no sense) BUT YOU WROTE HARRY YOU WROTE HARRY and i likeeed him

and Dudley's 'but-I-got-more-birthday-presents-last-year' can I can I have more of that please. I know you've made him a bit nice and punched him in the face with character development which is fabby but can we have some more of his spoiled way shining through ever so often? Like a mini tantrum at his dad or something?

this is gonna be great I can tell.

MORE PLEASE HANZI.

Yup.

Lots of grammar-related luvey-dovey (writing Mexter atm) and bladder jokes,

Helen

Author's Response: i wrote harry and i didnt even mean to |:

like he was definitely going to be in this but i didnt think he was actually going to come in this soon because this chapter was supposed to be about petunia (so was the last actually, shall i make a game of how long i can leave her out of this before it starts crumbling and becomes a really crap story or)

harry was weird and hard and i dont think i like him so i may go back on this at some point (read: probably never)

yes you can i was wanting to put that in but its not been feasible as of yet but you will DEFINITELY get that old dudley in future chapters. promise.

lovelovelove
x


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Review #3, by AC_rules Break

7th August 2013:
DUDDERS AT UNI.

You know, I reckon he'd really like the student life. Although i imagine he'd find the halls a bit of a shock actually but WELL BASICALLY I can't wait to see where this is going.

i can totes see Vernon watching Eastenders just to irritate Petunia and I LOVE PETUNIA AND I AM SO HAPPY THAT YOU WROTE IN THEIR FRIENDSHIP WITH MURIEL IT IS g8t I AM SO GLAD THIS IS HAPPENING.

Basically, I have nothing actually useful or coherent to say but I WISH FOR MORE AND THERE IS MORE SO I AM GOING TO READ ONWARDS

I hope this is an acceptable thing to do.

lots of lovely dovey stuff

-Helen

Author's Response: Yes, I do really think it will be a bit of a culture shock especially with lots of different type of people milling around him because they're going to be a particular type of people and he hasnt hung around people his age for years apart from Harry. But still he's got to stay at home and commute because of his job too.

Eastenders is great for Vernon ok. its dudders and his tradition and will carry on to be.

there will be more. most updated fic ever. (no not quite you've never seen the most updated and you never shall)

BYEEE


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Review #4, by magnolia_magic Shine

2nd August 2013:
So your forums name is different than your archive name. Of course, you know this. But imagine my surprise when I clicked over to your author page and one of my favorite stories is there! I love the idea of this ship and I've actually been thinking about writing a Dudley fic myself, so I'm very interested in what you're doing with this story. I've been following it since you first posted, but I've never left a review! Yes, I'm one of those lurking readers :/ But I'm so glad you swapped with me...it gives me a chance to let you know how much I'm loving this!

I just really love your Dudley. He's clearly older and a bit wiser, which I would expect to happen after his dementor attack and subsequent encounters with magic. He couldn't stay ignorant forever, no matter how hard Uncle Vernon tries to make that happen. I'm so excited for him to go to university and start his own independent life (and possibly meet Cho? Hopefully?)

I am confused about what's going on with Petunia, though. Is she at St. Mungo's for some reason? What brought that on? Is she sick? Or am I just missing something? Haha, that's pretty likely :) That aside, though, I think it's so interesting that she and Vernon are splitting up. It sounds awful, but I see it as a new start for Petunia. She has suppressed part of herself for Vernon's sake for so many years; maybe now she can begin to let some of that out.

I loved the scene with Harry! It was a little awkward between them, and you made it clear that they aren't exactly BFFs. But they're building something, and I really loved seeing that glimpse into their new relationship. I loved that Harry was supportive of Dudley's decision to go to university; it seems like Dudley needs some support at the moment. Great job with them!

I'm enjoying this so much! I'm so glad you swapped with me; it gave me a chance to finally get my act together and review! You're doing a wonderful job, and I can't wait to see where this goes next :)

--Maggie

Author's Response: I'm not going to hide it - I absolutely love the fact that this is one of your favourite stories and I was so excited to see you adding it as a favourite, because Down Comes The Night is one of my favourite stories of which I lurk over, too! :P

I'm glad you love Dudley! This story has a very particular tone and very particular characters that I feel like need a special mindset in order to write them (hence lack of updates before but they're all coming now!). It was especially challenging to write the second chapter.

Yeah I was meant to mention Petunia and what was going on with her in this current chapter, but it all got replaced and Harry decided to make an entrance, which was...interesting. I had always planned for Harry to be around in this story, but not so early and writing him was really odd considering I'm not quite sure how to present him as of yet.

Not to worry though I do hope to finish chapter 4 very soon and have it up and there you will definitely get to see a lot more of what Petunia is going through as well as a dash of Aunt Muriel! I do genuinely think that Petunia and Vernon were an awful pair especially putting Lily into the mix. I think this will be her tribute, in a way, to try as hard as she can for Dudley and for Harry.

I've got a few things of what I want to happen and everything in between is completely and utterly spur of the moment so just like you I am very much interested to see how this turn out!

You've been lovely and I can't wait to see what you think of everything that is to come!

Hannah ♥


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Review #5, by KiwiOliver Break

30th June 2013:
KiwiOliver back again with your RR:
So after reading the first chapter (then this one), my first thoughts were 'Wait no, tell me why he's at Mungo's!' Because it's the high point of the last chapter, I wanted to know right away!
I don't think that's a major issue though, because it did keep me reading! So if anything it's a plus! :)
I really liked this chapter, (Well, I loved them both to be honest) they're a nice read and I like how they're nice and short and so far both end on a sort of cliff hanger! :)
You asked for feedback for the comparison of the two chapters, I assume you want to see if this one holds up to such an amazing first one.
I think it does, in fact, I think it surpasses the first one :)
I want to know what happened to Petunia! I know she wasn't well, but she's living with Molly's Aunt? (I presume, unless it's someone else?)
I know you're thinking "Well silly Oliver, you'll just have to read on!" which is right yeah, but I'm impatient! :p
I extremely like the part of Dudley and Vernon's fight, it made me laugh, and earned me a funny look from my mother :p
Overall I like this story a lot, it's got a nice smooth pace, never boring, never over the top action. I like the characters, they are both completely believable and fit the originals very well.
I'm looking forward to reading some more of this so be sure to re-request it when the next chapters up!
KO

Author's Response: Eek! I'm so glad you thought this chapter surpassed my first one as I feel that some stories the second chapter just isn't quite as good as the first and I have a problem with this myself so I'm so glad you thought this one was good enough! :D

Ah well all will be revealed in chapter four as to what's really going on with Dudley, Mungo's, Petunia and Aunt Muriel - I hope I don't disappoint!

I'm glad you liked the fight as I think now that Dudley's older and wiser now he would end up picking a bit of a fight with his old man about almost anything seeing as he's a bit more favourable to magic than he was!

I'm so glad you like this story and I'll be sure to re-request once you're back on the forums and have cleared all your slots!

Hannah


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Review #6, by KiwiOliver Runaway

30th June 2013:
KiwiOliver here with your review:
I know you wanted me too look at both chapters but before I do that I'll give you my thoughts on this one :)
Chudley, well, I can honestly say that's a first in my life :p And yet the name is so perfect! A Quidditch team in fact :p
I enjoyed your portrayal of Dudley in this chapter, we all secretly began to like him towards the end of the books, it's nice to see that he's more like his mother than his father :)
I also have to say that you've done a really good ending to this chapter, although I knew at some point he'd be surrounded by magic (from the Chudley thing) My jaw certainly dropped when he Floo'd to St. Mungo's. A hundred questions ran to my head instantly! And that's the kind of enthralling story I like to read!
A brilliant first chapter, I'll go straight onto the next one to tell you how I think they compare :) (I'm excited already!)
KO

Author's Response: I'm so sorry its taken me almost a month to reply to this, but I have no excuse and ackkk this was a lovely review!

Yes, my friend (Helen) expressed the want to read a Chudley after I told her about it after seeing it lurk on the forums and so this was born for her and I'm really enjoying writing Dudley and Vernon surprisingly - they're much easier to write than any other thing I've written before.

I'm so glad you liked the ending as I really did want to reel in the readers with the ending because I have a few things I want to incorporate in this as per my friend's request and Dudley going to Mungo's (or rather the result of why) was one of them!

Thank you for such a lovely review again this was wonderful!


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Review #7, by Crescent Moon  Break

17th June 2013:
I love this story!
I've always wanted to know what happens with the Dursley's after the war and I really like your version of it.
I can't wait to see what happens next.

Author's Response: Aw, thank you! :D

I hope you'll like where the rest of this is going, and I hope to start updating this a lot more regularly! ♥


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Review #8, by patronus_charm Runaway

5th February 2013:
Ha I loved this one-shot it was great!

I loved how you made out Dudley's love to be so stereo-typical of that type of family in England. The fact that he wouldn't go to uni as his parents did, but I guess going to sixth form was a big step for him!Then of course entering the family business.

I loved how it was so British as that's often forgotten in most stories, but it's so quintessially British this was a really nice read, because of that!

And the bit about Dudley scrounging a doughnut, I can just imagine him sneaking in and stealing it!

The fact that Dudley found floo powder was genius. As he's just so muggle you wouldn't have thought that he would want to associate himself with the wizarding world, and then he ends up going to St. Mungo's of all the places!

A great one-shot, and I loved seeing Dudley with more depth!

Author's Response: Its actually a short story. :P

So there's quite a bit more to it and answers as to why he's off to St Mungos' (of all the places! :P).

Thank you for all of your lovely compliments and I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I hope to keep it just as light, British and canon as I possibly can. ♥


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Review #9, by Jchrissy Runaway

5th February 2013:
This is such an awesomely creative little piece. I apologize if this review is short, but since the start was fairly sure I guess it's understandable, right. ;)

You kept to Dudley so perfect, and I can't imagine how proud Vernon would be of his darling son following his footsteps. And Petunia running away with Muriel! That is so, so perfect. I think that you should probably do a separate piece just about that, yeah?

Side note, I just realized that this is a work in progress, that made my day.

Anyway, I love the sort of distain Dudley feels when he runs and into people he knew from school, pretty sure he's probably secretly humiliated. Well, he should be. At least.

I can't believe how well you seem to have gotten his character down. obviously I'll have more on characterization when the next chapter comes out, but so far it's perfect.

Even in the small little bit you manage to get us completely hooked. Dudley going to St. Mungo's?? Oh my This can't be good.

Also, I wanted to mention that you seem to have mastered the style of writing where all the words fit together so well that it doesn't even like I'm reading it. There isn't too much description, but there's enough that it makes it flow beautifully and I don't feel like I'm ever being jarred out of what's happening. Super jealous of how easy you make it seem. Rawr.

Author's Response: Perfectly understable, my dear, you're doing me the biggest favour of reviewing you gorgeous girl you!

You're giving me too many compliments that I'm getting knocked over again and again by them!

Don't worry, more of Petunia and Muriel to come in coming chapters and some form of plor will roll into action at, er, some point in time. :P

I'M SO GLAD YOU THINK IT WAS EASY TO READ. And ah I'm so glad you like the characterization, because it took a bit of time to come up with the right tone that I wanted for this: light and airy and defiantly "british". (':

The next chapter isn't nearly as good I'm afraid, but I hope I've got you a little bit interested still. :P
Love goes to you ♥


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Review #10, by Toujours Padfoot Runaway

29th December 2012:
Dudley messing around with magic! Dudely going to St. Mungo's of all places! Wow, I was not expecting that. I mean, I knew he would end up disappointing his father's desires for him to have a painfully normal life, since the ship is called 'Chudley', but I'd assumed he would just slam into her one day instead of wandering off into the magical realm all of his own inclination. Sometimes I really wonder what's going on up there in his wee walnut brain.

Petunia running away to live with Muriel - LOL! I love how that was just casually thrown in there. So now Vernon's life is in a careful downward spiral that he pretends not to notice, all for the sake of being as normal as possible. That is one delusional man. Once he discovers where his son has been, he's going to explode or something. I think he might be the Muggle equivalent of Umbridge, being a bigot who fears what is different and just loves to be in charge and yell at people. Vernon and Umbridge would make a perfectly horrible Romeo/Juliet pairing.

Anyway, fab beginning to a story! I read Helen's review and she sounds excited about it. She's a lucky girl!

Thank you for participating in my challenge. :)

Author's Response: I KNOW. Dudders is being so daring its ridiculous - I mean going near Harry even though he got a half-giant to give him a pig's tail! They grow up so fast. ♥

But I've got a bit more up my sleeve in terms of what's happening and hopefully this will ease Dudley into a bit more so that it's not such a shock for him, poor lamb.

Oh my gosh, Vernon/Umbridge sounds like a great ship and I want to write it and write it now. Imagine the possiblities!!!

Thank YOU for reviewing with your loveliness, and yes I do hope Helen likes what's to come! :D


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Review #11, by CambAngst Runaway

17th December 2012:
OK, first off I want to say, forgive me! I know this is short. So it's fairly unavoidable that this review will also be short. But there are two reasons why I had to read this. First off, it's for Sarah's challenge and I've written three one-shots and a budding short story for it. I feel a certain duty to the stories entered in it. Second, I can't get over the word "Chudley". Why on earth did that never dawn on me before? Genius!

Your Dudley is fantastic. The character was instantly recognizable. All of the prose that surrounded him was instantly recognizable. It's the little things in this. Phrases like, "just fine, thank you very much" and "shove them in his gob" are really what make this piece for me. Your ability to find that voice from the first few chapters of Sorceror's (Philosopher's, if you're from the far side of the pond) Stone and run with it is amazing.

Wow. I am really smitten by the idea of Petunia running off to live with Muriel, of all people. I read so much fan fic where she continues her intense dislike of magic after the war. This was refreshing and I instantly wondered whether you're planning to do more with the idea.

Dudley's life at work sounds genuinely dreadful. After a year of hiding out among magical folk, hearing stories of how his cousin was trying to save the world, it must be horribly boring to try to fit into his father's preferred lifestyle of mind-numbing drudgery. I loved all of the little rationalizations for why it all makes sense somehow. They were perfectly Dursley-ish.

And lastly, when he prepares to journey to St. Mungo's, I felt like cheering for him. How awesome that he's decided not to completely turn his back on his cousin's world and forget that anything ever happened. I always felt like there was a little bit of hope for Dudley. The Dementors scared a little sense into him at the start of OotP, and by the start of DH, he actually appreciates some of the things that Harry did for him. I think I'm really going to enjoy your extension of that sudden warmth he feels toward Harry and the rest of the magical world.

To summarize, I think the idea here is brilliant. I'm excited to see where you take it!

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Review #12, by AC_rules Runaway

25th October 2012:
I do not know how to express how much I love you. First you write me a CHUDLEY and then to make things even better you throw this out

soon enough she had packed her bags and gone back to live with that Muriel woman they had been staying with WHICH YOU KNOW FULL WELL IS LIKE MY ONE TRUE FRIENDSHIP PAIRING WHICH JUST MAKES ME DIE INSIDE LIKE SERIOUSLY I'M SO GLAD YOU DID THAT MARRY ME HANZI BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS IN ACTUAL CANON YEAH?

So yeah this was short and AWESOME and I can totally picture Dudley just plodding along eating his custard creams and Vernon just pretending like everything was all find and everything and ST MUNGOS and seriously THIS IS AWESOME and this is like right up there on the list of the best things I've ever been given (only marginally below my Hogwarts Lego set, favourite chirstmas present of all time, and the umbrella which my friend wrote out half the first HP book on so it's all QUOTED) but the point is your fudging marvellous and I can't wait for the rest of this. AND PLEASE CAN WE HAVE MORE MURIEL/PETUNIA FRIENDSHIP MOMENTS (it happened I tell you!)


ack.

So basically i love you and all and let's you know, write about the dursleys and PETUNIA/MURIEL and CHUDLEY 4evas.

you're so fab.

Can't wait for this

lOTS OF WIBBLY LOVE HELEN

Author's Response: EHEHEHEH I WROTE YOU A CHUDLEY. I have chapters planned out and Muriel/Petunia friendshippyness and lots of cuteness and stuff that will happen in a distinct non-cute kind of way but still cute. If that makes sense.

BUT YEAH THIS IS WHAT IT IS NOW. Dudley plodding around in a thinner version of himself and Vernon off his rocker and asfhasfuasfhsufsa St. Mungos will be fun because its in the next chapter and you'll love it. Promise :3

although chudley isn't even going to make itself appear at all for like yonks. well no but yeah. TOO MUCH HAS BEEN SAID.

WIBBLY LOVE FOR YOU MY DEAR.


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Review #13, by spreaddapoo Runaway

25th October 2012:
Hello! Wow, this was really interesting to read. I love the narrative voice you've adopted; it's very particular and I can imagine the whole story told by an actual narrator... It's very intriguing and I think you deserve a bit of a well done for building up the suspense. I'd love to find out what's going on! :)

Author's Response: adsajkfhsafjas thank you! I loved getting this review in all its loveliness and I'm so sorry it took so long to reply, but I just wanted to keep a hold of it. Alas, this is not feasible and it is time for it to go. :(

Watch out for the second chapter in the new year - I have plans to make updates fast. ;)



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Review #14, by Mazz Runaway

25th October 2012:
i'm excited already and i've never even heard of cho/dudley shipping but then you hear she married a muggle so yeah maybe it WAS DUDLEY.

this is sounding really good and i am excited excited excited

Author's Response: i've seen chudley cropping up a little bit on the forums and i've only spotted a one-shot so far so i thought it would be interesting to write it myself. :D

i'm glad you're excited because askjhfsjkfgsf i can hardly contain mine!


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