Reading Reviews for Your Heart On The Line
1 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Lululuna Tremble

31st December 2013:
Hello! I'm here from Day 5 of the 12 Days of Reviewing Challenge. :)

It makes me sad that this doesn't have reviews, you have a lovely and clear writing style and a really great idea here! I've never read a story which focuses on Draco's relationship with Bellatrix, and I loved reading about it as it was both a little amusing but also pity-inducing for Draco. :P

I think you wrote Draco really well here. He has that sense of self-entitlement and pride which is being smashed during these difficult times. I liked the contrast between what he normally did during the summer and what his new place in Voldemort's ranks was, and how shocked and outraged he was about not having his way all the time. It felt very Draco on the edge of the pivotal moment in which he stops being a spoiled child and realizes the true horrors in the world.

Bellatrix was just awful! I cringed a bit about the idea of her and Voldy having a relationship (gross!) and thought it was interesting how she seemed to have become so primitive and cruel, not even using utensils at the table. It fit her in a strange way, and I liked how Draco compared her to his mother and attributed a lot of her madness to all the time spent in Azkaban. You wrote her fanatic loyalty and cruelty just perfectly, and Narcissa's coldness and refusal to do anything was just great as well.

The only character who I felt was a little off was Voldemort as I felt like he was a little too nice to Draco. The way he sort of excused his appearance to Draco and offered that Draco could join him seemed a little unrealistic since I feel that Voldy is very proud of being the only wizard to go that far down the path to immortality and he sees the other Death Eaters as servants, not companions. I felt that Voldy wouldn't ask Draco's permission to get on with the initiation: he'd be more likely to urge him to walk down to the dungeons with magic and torture him if he didn't obey. :P So that's just a suggestion about Voldy, feel free to take it or leave it. :)

I liked Draco's repulsion by Voldy- I've always been sure all the Death Eaters were thinking it even if they didn't say it! :P This was a great beginning to the story, you write really well and all the characters were great. I'm glad I got a chance to read and review it. :)

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