Reading Reviews for Brittle Bones
  
13 Reviews Found

Review #1, by BookDinosaur Purple Poppies and Black Tales

4th January 2014:
Hello! I'm here for the Ninth of the Twelve Days of Reviewing Challenge over at the forums. :)

Ah, I loved this. I really loved reading this, it was so emotional and hopeful and sad all at the same time.

I absolutely loved how you gave us hope, how the kids in the ward are terminal, they're going to die because they're terminal and they have no hope, but somehow they do have hope because Poppy Pomfrey is one of them and she survives, she lives, so why can't they?

Ah, I hardly noticed this was in the second person point of view! You did such a fantastic job telling us the story from a second person point of view that I hardly noticed it at all, and the transition between the two sections and the two points of view was really smooth and flowed really naturally.

I really liked this medical theme that runs through the story, I've never read a medical-themed story before but I can already tell I'll enjoye this one.

I think your description and your imagery here was fantastic, I could really see everything as it unfolded on the page and everything was just so vivid. This line was beautiful: You hear music, an infusion of strings being shaken and piano keys being pushed down to release the softest of tones.

I really loved the fact that the Healer was a pureblood trying to escape her family - you can never really have too many of those, they're such nice characters. ;)

All in all, this was a fantastic story and I'm really glad I had the chance to read it! :D

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Review #2, by Secret Santa Monsters under the Bed

12th December 2012:
Hello there - Secret Santa back again with another gift ;)

So, I'm kinda confused, I have to admit. After reading the last chapter I was totally sure that the nurse treating Poppy was Andromeda. Now, though, you've told me her name is Elora... wow, nice one, me, lol. I got completely wrong, haha. Anyway, that doesn't mean I love her character any less. In fact, it only makes her more interesting because there are so many parallels between her and Andromeda and it's just so fascinating that they're there. And I like fascinating :)

This chapter was fabulous again, just like the last one. You went a lot further from the last chapter, even though you picked up at the same place in the 'now' time, if you know what I mean. It felt a lot more pacy, even though not much happened - I think all the information and the theories you talked about helped with that. By the way, the theories are incredible. I have no idea how you ever came up with something like that.

I did spot a couple of flow problems in this one, again, but they're really small things and didn't detract at all from the flow of the chapter. Firstly, you put: including yourself as you dynamically interact with the fleeting colors and semi-familiar people. As you start falling towards the ground. So it's your body that is falling... It just doesn't seem to really make sense. The middle sentence 'as you start...the ground' seems completely random. Maybe link it to the one after? Also, you put 'he hadn't a battery'. 'Hadn't' is the shortened form of 'had not' which doesn't work. Instead, it should be 'he didn't have'. Again, just a couple of tiny things ;)

STILL, this is so intriguing. I'm hooked. Figuratively speaking, of course ;) But, seriously, I have so many questions! Why is Poppy so serious about curing things? How does she end up at Hogwarts? How did her disease get cured when it was supposed to be terminal? What happened to Aldean? Will she succeed in curing it? What else did she learn in Healing School? Will Madam Elora help her? I NEED ANSWERS, PLEASE. But in your own time - seriously. I'm enjoying this so much I wouldn't mind if there were another ten chapters or only two :)

Loved it. Loved it. Loved it and cannot think of anything constructive to say. Just loved it.

Love,
Secret Santa

Clue: I have read Progeros. All of it :) (Loved that too...)

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Review #3, by Secret Santa Purple Poppies and Black Tales

12th December 2012:
Well, hello there! :D Merry Christmas to one and to all! And happy holidays and all of the rest of it, as well! I hope you have a lovely few weeks on holiday, with presents and snow and reindeer (both chocolate and real) and everything.

Okay, first things first, I. Love. This. It's just so... sad and yet hopeful and I can't help but pity the poor kids who are in the hospital with, seemingly no hope, but then they do have hope - because Poppy's the girl with the bruises and somehow she survives and she gets better and that makes me hope for them that something will change and somehow they'll all be all right.

You're making me emotional. It's weird, I'm not usually emotional. Ever.

Anyway, I love how you've used Poppy Pomfrey for this and, by the sound of it, Andromeda Tonks as well. Minor characters, both of them, and yet they're actually both really important in the long run. I mean, if Poppy hadn't healed Harry the thousands of times he was in the Hospital Wing, he would never have survived to face Voldy at the end, no? And the series would have ended very differently... so yeah, minor but important. Gah, you've done such a great job with them as well - they're both so wonderfully developed, even though this first chapter gives more questions than answers ;) (It's a good thing!) I kinda love them both already.

I'm so excited by... well, pretty much everything about this. The location, the characters, the whole idea behind it, the actual sciencey-medical stuff in it, only with a more Harry Potter-ish slant. It's all great, and it really seems like you've done quite a bit of research into the diseases these kids have, what's effecting them and all the rest of it, which just makes it breathe.

I did notice a couple of odd flow-disrupty-type things, which I thought I should point out: where you put 'no matter how good of a healer you are', it should be 'no matter how good a healer you are' (no 'of'); blind-fold is all one word: blindfold; and there's one bit where I'm not sure if it works. You said 'you cannot outdo science'. Is it really science, though? I mean, personally I wouldn't consider death is science and that's what I thought you were talking about (feel free to ignore me if I'm wrong and have just been an idiot and misunderstood). I get that you might not want to use 'death' again, but maybe something more like 'natural selection' or 'time' or something would work better. Science doesn't really seem to fit, to me...

That was it, though! There was nothing else I could find at all wrong with this - even in the slightest, even if I was being utterly and completely picky.

Great, great chapter. Once Christmas is over, I'll be back to read the subsequent chapters as well ;)

Love,
Secret Santa

Clue: er... kittens are cute. Very cute ;)

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Review #4, by TenthWeasley Purple Poppies and Black Tales

20th November 2012:
Hello -- popping by to do by bit of the TGS review exchange!

I've never read a medical-esque Harry Potter fan fiction before, but already I can tell that I think I'll enjoy this one. :) One of the bits I already admire about it is that in just this first chapter you've managed to give it a strong sense of realism, of actually being grounded in J.K. Rowling's magical world, and that's always something that's fantastic to see. You provide detail that a lot of people don't; some writers would have just mentioned that the children are terminal and moved on, but you took the opportunity to describe their diseases. It might seem like a small thing, but that's the sort of thing that sells stories, really.

Another thing I liked in the sense of style is the first section -- LOVE the second person point of view. ♥ And it really works in this story! Again, not every writer can pull that off, but you did it really well. I think it's pretty neat, too, that the narrator remains essentially nameless and faceless. That's a really good choice for this story, and it keeps it interesting.

Your descriptions are lovely! "Asparagus-green eyes" was, I think, one of my favorites, as well as -- oddly enough -- the description of Poppy Pomfrey's affliction as being blue and purple. (And now the chapter title makes a bit more sense! Fab!) I'm really curious to know how you tie in the Poppy Pomfrey we know with this one, too. It's only a theory, but I'm suspecting that the narrator's not too far off in his or her little stories about the magical thymus. ;)

I really enjoyed this -- very, very well done! I might just have to pop back over and read chapter 2, as well. Keep up the great work!

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Review #5, by magnolia_magic Purple Poppies and Black Tales

6th November 2012:
Hi! Maggie here from the forums with your review!

First of all, it was such an unexpected pleasure to read this story. I wasn't sure what to think about a story centered around Madam Pomfrey--I had never read one before, and so I had no clue what to expect. But I just love what you've done with this! The prose is beautiful. There's just not a lot more I can say about it. I just lost myself in the flow of the words, and I was fascinated by the description of magical diseases. It's just captivating.

My favorite part is the way you end the first section. "Skin cells can remember things too." Just a beautiful line, simple and yet heart-rendering.

In your request, you asked if I could tell that this chapter was narrated by two different characters. Honestly, I couldn't. I had no idea until I read back over your post and read your areas of concern. And that was super confusing, especially with the change from second person to first. But then again, I saw that some of your reviewers picked up on it right away. So maybe I'm just slow on the uptake (very likely :P), but I couldn't tell at all, and I was really confused about who was narrating and why it was suddenly first person at the end.

That said, though, I think you did a wonderful job with writing in second person. It's kind of a tricky animal: sometimes it's completely awkward, and sometimes it really adds to the story. Yours is lyrical and effortless to read, and it lends a mysterious feel to that introduction. I loved reading it :)

Overall, I think you're off to an amazing start! Feel free to PM me if you have any questions, and I'd love to see a re-request when my queue empties out :)

--Maggie

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Review #6, by my_voice_rising Monsters under the Bed

28th October 2012:
Hello! Back again with your second requested review :)

Your introduction is captivating, particularly when she says that it's like intruding on a moment between your body and its surroundings. Very nice.

I must have misread your last chapter; I thought Pomfrey was a patient in the narrator's hospital? Rather than the actual narrator herself? Or maybe Madam Elora was the narrator of the last chapter. I will have to go back and see what I misread! :)

It's very interesting to see the change of voice between the two chapters, in terms of how the different voices view the hospital. Nice touch!

I also like the recurrence of the thymus. Really wonderful imagination and working of canon with its ability to protect children and the way its abilities decrease as a child ages and begins expelling the magic from their body. It's interesting that you use symbolism in an obscure body organ. I'm not quite sure exactly what it stands for yet--I'll have to read the next chapter to find out ;)

This is absolutely stunning writing. I'm going to add it to my favorites list so that I can continue reading!

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Review #7, by Jchrissy Monsters under the Bed

26th October 2012:
Just so you know - I would like another chapter. Can we discuss the idea of a novel? Poppy has to end up at Hogwarts sometime, this much we know. And she meets a poor broken boy who has been attacked by a werewolf and she helps him during all this... so her part in Remus's life would probably really remind her of this same desperate desire to rid the world of everything that does this to children. Okay, so, I'm rambling. I'm just hoping if I get ideas out there, that I'll get lots more chapters ;).

I loved the relationship between Poppy and Elora. You can tell they are deeply about one another, that Poppy attributes over coming her illness/disease to the Elora's help. They are also both head strong, and I feel like Elora understands so much more than most people. She's like that woman that has been through it all, but it still hurts her to see things. She's strong enough to do what she does, but weak enough to feel hurt for the lives she can't change.. making her so insistent on there being *something* bigger fighting alongside the children to cure them. I really adore her character.

Poppy seems so young and knowledgeable, but at the same time it's easy to tell she still hasn't healed over everything she's been through. I think the way that ward, the memories in it, hurt her was perfect. It didn't make her seem weak, it just showed us how truly terrible what she endured is. And then the fact that she wasn't even sure why she went to Healing school, if she wanted to be, it felt so natural.

I love Poppy as a narrative voice. For some reason in my head she's kind of like a nurse during a war. An older war, not the current one on terrorism. But she wants to do this and she needs to help, but the reality of what she'll face is much more difficult than she thought. And for some reason she has like WWII style nurse's outfit as well as a southern accent.. haha I'll try and work on getting the accent out of my head, sorry about that. But this entire chapter was like a movie to me. Which is awesome, because that means you had that perfect balance of giving me enough detail without interrupting my flow.

I do hope you continue, m'dear ♥

Author's Response: Hey Jami! I really, really don't know if I can make it all the way over to Hogwarts and Remus, but I could certainly try. It sounds like a great idea; I just worry I wouldn't be able to execute it!

And I'm so happy you like Elora, and that you understand her so well too! I don't have a solid characteristic plan for her in my head, but she just came out like that. The more I think about it, the more Dumbledore-ish she becomes.

I was worried that Poppy's fear may be seen as overly dramatic, so it's such a relief to hear from you that you think it isn't. I just don't think people like to go back to places where they've witnessed so many losses. Unless they're the characters of Grey's Anatomy or something.

So the WWII style nurse outfit, I get. But oh my God, Jami, a southern accent?! Every time I read this review, I just sit here and try to imagine that, but for some reason I can't. I'm really glad you liked the chapter though. And I'm sorry it took me and eon to respond to it!

Thank you, as always, for the kind and thorough review!


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Review #8, by javct Purple Poppies and Black Tales

25th October 2012:
javct45 here with your requested review (I took my time didn't I? Sorry I took so long -- I guess life caught up with me!)

I think you did rather well with your second person POV. It's a very unused point of view and I've found, whenever I've tried it, that it's really difficult so I think you did a good job :) Although, I have to ask: why did you change perspectives in the middle of the story? It's not as though I found it confusing because I still knew who you were talking about but I'm just curious because it did subtract from the story a little...

The imagery is lovely. I'm really curious to see how Poppy gets better :)

Also, that's a brilliant banner! Carrie in that movie is just so amazing!

Jasmine, x

Author's Response: Hello! Thanks for coming. And there's no problem at all with taking some time; I don't mind.

I'm very relieved to hear that second person didn't get overbearing in this piece. I did have to switch perspectives though because the character changed. Maybe that was a bit unclear?

And I agree with you! It's one of my favourite books and movies! Ahoythere is the one responsible for this banner's beauty though! :D

Thanks for the review and thank you for offering! -hugs-


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Review #9, by my_voice_rising Purple Poppies and Black Tales

23rd October 2012:
UGH GORGEOUS BANNER. I love Carey Mulligan and that movie. This is me from the Review forums, by the way ;)

Really nice introduction. I like the idea of listing out "what you know" as a Healer, which is really just all the heartbreaking things that one must encounter on a daily basis. The part about being so pale they look covered in flour is a nice touch, and so are the asparagus-green eyes. You've chosen some really beautiful and unusual metaphors and similes here. Skin cells can remember things too. This is a really, really beautifully written story.

I wish you hadn't used "atrocious" twice to describe children--the part about them being atrocious warriors could probably use another adjective, because it has the potential to be really really poignant and memorable.

Poppy Pomfrey as a patient in the children's ward--brilliant. You've given us insight into a virtually ignored character and explained her career choice without even stating why she chose it. Wonderful.

I love the way you ended this part, "You have to make use of it before it's gone." This is some brilliant writing. I'm so glad you asked me to review this. :)

Author's Response: Hello! Thank you for coming by! Your time is greatly appreciated.

I'm quite overwhelmed by your very kind compliments. But I really am quite happy you've enjoyed the story and especially that you found the descriptions alright; these always scare me.

Also, thank you for pointing out the 'atrocious' thing. I'll, hopefully, have the time to go back to it and see how I can make it more effective! :)

I have this idea that we don't always know why /exactly/ we choose to do something. I suppose she's going to learn, eventually, all the proper reasons as to why this job suited her so well though!

Once again, thank you for the review and thank you for offering. -hugs-

-Manno


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Review #10, by GrangerDanger76 Purple Poppies and Black Tales

20th October 2012:
First of all, I applaud you for the use of second person, while can be very tricky and can pottentially allienate your reader, you pulled it off brilliantly. It gave me CHILLS... Like... whoa. I will deffinintly be keeping up with this story. I won't be getting the image of the two children laughing out of my mind anytime soon, so very very well done.

The rest was just as fabulous. I really liked your repition of "That's what they teach you in healing school." It really suit the story very well.

Wonderful job, this is a bloody brilliant story :)

This is GrangerDanger76 from the RC review battle! :) HUGS!

Author's Response: Hello! Thank you for coming by!

I have to agree with you regarding second person, but I really needed it here and I decided that I should be brave and take up the challenge. And it's so comforting to hear that it seemed to work out for you! So thank you for saying that.

And that scene, it absolutely is my favourite part of the chapter. It was also so much fun to write! I'm very glad you liked it and thought that it made an impact. :)

Thank you so much for this lovely review! It really means a lot to me. :D -hugs-

-Manno


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Review #11, by caoty Purple Poppies and Black Tales

19th October 2012:
Hello, it's me with your requested review. :)

This is gorgeously written; your imagery isn't too much, but your descriptions are wonderful and unique, and I know that sounds like so many empty words but it's true.

You've also captured the emotions associated with being a children's Healer extremely well - hope and sadness alike - and so well done for that, you've handled something hard-hitting with elegance.

There is a fair bit of similarity between your two characters, but it's not terrible or anything, and you obviously have the chance to flesh them out a bit more as you go.

I've got a nitpick for you - you've got sentences like these:

>She was a delicate little girl who was fragile in every sense of the word >but who showcased unparalleled thrill to leave the ward and go to >Hogwarts so she can learn things and hear stories and grow to find a >cure for her condition.

and that's a really, really long time to go without a comma. The narrator-voice in my head ran out of breath!

Anyway, apart from that, you've done well so far and I'm glad I've read this. Good luck writing! :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time to leave this review and I'm sorry I have taken some time to respond.

I really did want to focus on the fact that even in the Wizarding World, people don't just 'magically' recover. So I'm glad that theme showed.

And nit-pick all you want! I will be sure to go back and see if I can put some things apart.

Thank you so much for the encouraging and helpful review. I cannot thank you enough for your kind compliments. -hugs-

-Manno



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Review #12, by Mrs. Lerman Purple Poppies and Black Tales

18th October 2012:
Beautifully eloquent, impressively authentic and genuine, unprecedentedly creative, highly intriguing, curiosity-inducing, and very very inspirational. Once again, you have outdone yourself, Queen B. And the descriptions and metaphors were remarkably picturesque! That was just FANTASTIC. Truly fantastic.

Author's Response: The delusional Nova has left me a review on my story! I'm incredibly honoured! And no, I can't credit you as Mrs. Lerman the next chapter. But thank you so, so much for coming by and leaving a 4-line review that's more beautiful and artistic than my entire story. I adore you, friend! Because you're fantastic! =D

-Manno


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Review #13, by Jchrissy Purple Poppies and Black Tales

18th October 2012:
Hi darling! I was so excited to check this out when I saw it in the new story thread!!!

First of all, I love that you aren't writing a story about a Healer and excluding the actual healing part. You know how much I love going into detail about these sort of things, and the fact that you described these diseases, talked about the different things a Healer can and can't do, just made it all feel so very genuine.

Then!! You did what hardly anyone does - you made it clear that, despite all the magic and potions there are, a Healer can't fix everything!!! I get so frustrated when I read about all these injuries and a person is good as new after a few days in St. M's, not that that doesn't happen, but it can't happen all the time. Witches and Wizards are still human. If they fall a hundred feet from their broom and break every bone in their body, they're probably going to snap their neck as well. And only a trip to the morgue is going to be done for that one.

Anyway, I was getting distracted there, what I'm trying to say is your focusing on the reality. Yes, people get better, no, they don't always. Not even children.

Your descriptions were lovely , really awesome. I especially liked the description about asparagus green eyes. It gave her something very unique. I think you did a great job making everything perfectly vivid, without purple prose filling. I didn't notice any place that got 'over the top' nor where I didn't know what I was supposed to be seeing. Excellent balance.

I thought you inclusion about the Thymus was not only creative, but accurate! Because there was a long period when it wasn't really known that it's needed to create the T-cells, even thought to be the soul way back when. What an awesome story to tell children! Your brain is such a fun place. Or, at least the stories that are created in your brain :P.

AND I WANT TO KNOW HOW POPPY GETS BETTER! I didn't read the description much, I'm terrible with that, so when she came in it was a fun surprise. Like that 'oh!' that clicks with the start of a story plot.

This was wonderful, darling! I'm really excited about your new project! Now I can stalk two of your awesome stories ♥

Author's Response: JAMI! I wanted to respond to this sooner but I didn't know what to say or what to do and you always do this to me, so generally, it's your fault, not mine. Because saying thank you is hard when there are such few synonyms for it and when none of them reflect how 'thankful' I am or how your reviews make me want throw roses all over my room and make a parade!

Yet, responding is the polite and responsible thing to do; therefore, that's what I will do.

Okay. Okay. So you liked me going in detail on scientific things? I was actually worried that I turned the story into a bundle of the facts I remember from studying for my exam and that I went a little overboard with the stuff about plants and warts and whatnot. But you liked it! YAY!

THIS IS PRECISELY WHY I WANTED TO WRITE THIS STORY! Because there's this rumour going around that wizards have such strong immunity and that there's a 'magical' solution to every fallout of the immune system and to every traumatic 'fall-off the broom', as you have said! But NO, okay?! Even if that's the case, it must have taken time to develop the potion or the spell or whatever it is they do in magical operation room -if those even exist! Fine, they don't get cancer or autism or whatever horrible diseases we have here, but I'm sure they have their own and that some of them have been terminal for a long time as well! AND I'M SO GLAD YOU THINK SO TOO AND THAT YOU NOTICED THAT! THANK YOU!

It's okay you got distracted because I got distracted too.

I'm VERY VERY HAPPY that you liked the descriptions! This is a new territory for me and I was really worried that I may have over-dramatised things or made them too artsy that they're unbearable so this is such a relief!

And the thymus is my favourite organ, and I'm really sad that I only heard of it AFTER I became an adolescent and had probably lost it. See, this is what made me think of the story to begin with. I was studying glands and then I was like, 'I should write a story about the thymus because it's magic. It disappears.' And I even had to test it out on my little brother to see if he buys it or not -which he did! And trust me, my brain is no fun place at all. It forgets things all the time, so we aren't on good terms most of the time. Which is kinda sad because I'm supposed to be a Ravenclaw. But I'm glad you like the stories! :D

And I promise you'll know what happens to Poppy!

Thank you SO, SO incredibly much for coming by and leaving this wonderful and supporting and helpful review! I can't possibly thank you enough for taking the time to do this!

Love you!

-Manno


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