Reading Reviews for Asphyxiated
8 Reviews Found

Review #1, by EnigmaticEyes16 Drowning

12th September 2015:
Hi! I'm here to start my Hot Seat reviews! Raisha, I loved this story! It was so short but so powerful at the same time. I love how you gave us some insight into what happened with Regulus since we really don't know much except that he's dead and he switched the lockets. I still wonder though how he managed to outsmart the Dark Lord. And how did he know about the lake in the first place? Did he know of the other horcruxes even?

And poor Sirius. I'm sure he would still mourn his brother. He was his brother after all, and he cared about him enough to try and deter Regulus from the path he'd chosen. I can't believe Regulus was only eighteen when he did this though! That's so young to die! I'm glad he did finally see Sirius's reasoning though. And that instead of continuing with the way his life was going, he did something good by switching the horcruxes with the hope that Kreacher or someone would destroy it, so that his sacrifice wasn't completely in vain.

I also think you wrote the parts about drowning really well. The burning in your lungs, the fight when you're first going under. And all in all this one-shot was done really well. The only tiny, minuscule bit of constructive criticism I have is that you forget to put the quotations at the end of the line where Sirius says Regulus is only following Voldemort for his mommy and daddy's affection.

But other than that, I thought this story was perfect. You did a wonderful job on this, raisha!


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Review #2, by rosiful Drowning

9th September 2015:
Hello again! Another Hot Seat Review!

I really love your opening and closing lines for this one shot. They are incredibly powerful and so sad/heartbreaking. The whole story was quite heartbreaking actually. I've never read a Regulus fic before, so this was definitely something unique to me. I don't know if I've ever imagine his passing in this much detail before. But, after reading this, I think you got it right. He would be worrying about Kreacher and feeling glad the he finally made the right choice in standing up against Voldemort. I also love that he thought of Sirius, and his life and how he finally knew he was on the right side all along. It was so sad when he realise Sirius would feel nothing at his death. That was pretty heartbreaking to read!

I really liked this one shot! You've done a really good job with it.


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Review #3, by The Misfit Drowning

8th December 2012:
Hi there! I'm apondinabluebox on the forums and I'm here to repay you for your lovely review tag! :D

I have to say that I really liked this Regulus one-shot! Normally you would get "life flashing before your eyes" but you've written it so that he's dwelling upon his life and focusing on a particular person- Sirius- before moving on to his acceptance of his death, in a way, and his pride at being able to help defeat Voldemort.

The scene where Regulus recalls his last conversation with Sirius is beautiful! It blends in beautifully with Regulus' internal monologue! And I was suffering from the feels when Regulus' thoughts drifted to how Sirius would live his life. Oh, how wrong he would be. It was quite heartbreakingly well written.

This is quite a beautiful one-shot, even though it's about the death of a person. (Is it even acceptable to think of a story of death as beautiful?) :')

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

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Review #4, by Jchrissy Drowning

29th October 2012:
Hi darling! Sorry it took me ages to get here!!!

Okay, so you said that you just started getting back to writing. I was there a few months ago, bah. Itís terrible feeling like you have to retrain yourself, isnít it??

I think this is such an awesome time to write about. The death of Regulus, especially through his own eyes, can just go so many different ways.

So, during it I was a bit unsure about howÖ smooth Regulus was able to articulate everything he was thinking during all this. Then the more I thought about it, I realized that I actually have no idea what dying is like. Obviously. And Iíve heard what you pointed out in this, that drowning is supposed to be Ďpeacefulí so it actually makes sense that he would be in his own little thought bubble. Kind of having one of those Ďlife flashes before your eyesí moments but it isnít actually flashing. Heís being forced to really dwell on it.

I know it was just a small part, but I *loved* the discussion between Regulus and Sirius. Or the memory of the discussion I suppose. It just felt so perfect. Their reactions to one another, Sirius not retaliating but doing more than a punch ever could and showing him what he really was.. I always wished these two could have made up.

Then Regulusís thoughts about Sirius and how he would get to live.. if he only knew what would really become of his older brother. You just really touched on a lot of sensitive issues, and did it beautifully.

The only thing I think this piece could use was more imagery. Iím not saying every piece should be packed with it, but in this instance when weíre in just the once scene, trapped inside Regulusís mind, I think you can take it up a few notches and still be far from the purple prose territory.

All in all, a really awesome and intoxicating on shot!

I hope I could be helpful!


Author's Response: Thank you thank you thank you!

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Review #5, by Illuminate Drowning

24th October 2012:
Hi! Tag!

I really like this oneshot. You don't see a lot of stories about what goes through someone's mind when they die, and I think you've got it right. Regulus thinks through his regrets in his life, and seems accepting of his imminent demise, while keeping it nicely canon. Sirius seems very in character in his dialogue.

I saw no mistakes, spelling or grammar wise. Good job!

Author's Response: Thanks so much!

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Review #6, by XxImAgInAiReXx Drowning

14th October 2012:
Well, this was a nice little one shot. I mean, not nice, because he's drowning. Nicely written is what I mean.

I wish it was longer, but I suppose there's only so much you can do with Regulus dying :) Even so, I really liked it. Even though we never meet Regulus in the books, I think it was a good portrayal of his character. Sirius's too, through Regulus's eyes.

9/10 :)

Author's Response: Lol thank you!

I tired so hard to make it longer, but I ran out of ideas. It started out being only 500 words, so making over 800 was a huge accomplishment for me XD

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Review #7, by No_oneKnows Drowning

14th October 2012:
hwgheguidgw I loved the opening and last sentences! They were really powerful and I actually shivered at the end! I clicked on your link on the forums because I absolutely LOVE reading about Regulus and everyone's different interpretations on him.

I wrote one similar to this, actually, along with a couple of other Black family stories. I find them so interesting and fun to write and as you said on the forums, you did too!

Good job with your story :D It's always a good thing when you write a fantastic story and have fun with it :P

Author's Response: Awh, thank you :)

The Black family is, by far, my favorite to write. Especially Regulus. He's just my fave :3

And I'll probably be looking up your stories. Can't pass up a good Black family story ^_^

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Review #8, by academica Drowning

14th October 2012:
Hello, I'm here from Review Tag! (Thanks for tagging me before, by the way! I take ages to respond to reviews because of my busy schedule, but I do reply.)

This is a really interesting look at Regulus's last few moments. He experienced a really horrid type of drowning with the Inferi playing a part, and I've always kind of wondered what he must have felt like and what he must have thought about in those final moments. I think it's fitting that he worried a little about Kreacher, and yet he didn't worry too much to where he didn't still seem like a Black.

I loved that you mentioned Sirius. This, especially:

Instead he gave me a long, sad look. As he turned and walked away he spoke the last words I would ever hear from him. "This will be the death of you, Regulus."

How right he was.

That totally broke my heart. I also liked how Regulus knew that Sirius's heart was too hard to mourn him, as sad as it was for me to read. You've done a great job with the emotion in this short piece.

I noticed a couple technical errors I thought I would comment on. One, 'bony' is spelled without the 'e.' Also, it seemed like you switched tenses frequently from present to past and back, especially in the beginning. If I were you, I'd read back through this and choose one to stick with.

It's so interesting how Regulus had such a positive outlook on his death. It's like he said--the price for being young forever was having to die young. More than that, though, it's clear that his victory over Voldemort means more to him than his own life, than almost anything he has to give up.

Great job! Good luck in the challenge :)


Author's Response: I don't know why, but I always end up changing tenses throughout my stories. >.> I even went back and edited just for that reason before I posted and I still didn't catch them all XD Lol, but I went through again and I think I got majority of them! ^_^

And thank you for the review! I really appreciate it!

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