Reading Reviews for His one wish
  
6 Reviews Found

Review #1, by PhoenixFlame8629 His one wish

5th December 2012:
I loved this! It was really sweet, and I liked how Harry didn't know Snape's first name and the Fat Lady's reaction to being woken up. I thought it was clever, and had a good plot. Well done.

Author's Response: Thanks so much!

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Review #2, by adluvshp His one wish

1st December 2012:
Tag!

This was a sweet and sad little one-shot. I liked your insight into little eleven-year-old Harry's mind.

I was surprised that he didn't know that Severus was Severus Snape, but I think that's plausible since it was his first year at Hogwarts.

Your narrative was a nice read. I liked how the thoughts jumped around in it just like they would in a person's mind.

There were a few grammar and spelling errors though, like you misspelled "minutes" in the beginning, and also "lady" towards the end. I would suggest giving this a quick re-read and fixing all the small errors.

Apart from that, this was a good one-shot.

Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review!
My beta has gone to who knows where so all of my stories are on a block right know till she decides to show up again.


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Review #3, by academica His one wish

25th November 2012:
Hi, I'm stopping by from Review Tag :)

I liked this take on Harry and the mirror, and I could really feel the emotion in terms of his anger toward the world and how much he missed his parents. I do think you could have ended it a little earlier, because the humor with the Fat Lady didn't seem to fit with the overall tone of the story. However, I liked how you conveyed that Harry had to do this in secret and was always in fear of getting caught by Dumbledore or one of the other teachers. It added a nice mood to the story.

I think this would benefit from being beta-read. I noticed some spelling mistakes and other errors that impeded the flow a little bit for me. I also think you might want to watch the number of asides you use--for instance, the comment about the "long story" in which Harry discovered when the mirror was going to be moved would be better if it was either expanded upon or left out entirely.

I'm sure this was a nice entry for the challenge, as I can definitely see this being Harry's one wish. I also liked how it felt in character and appropriate for someone of the age at which this story was set.

Good work! :)

Amanda

Author's Response: thanks so much for the lovely review! My beta hasn't replied to any of my PMs lately, so this might not be checked over for a while. :/

Again, thank you!
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Review #4, by Jchrissy His one wish

14th November 2012:
Hi darling, and Happy Birthday! I'm here for the Gryffie Bday Present review and hope that you don't mind that I grabbed you up for myself!

I saw this on your page and was immediately interested. Harry's little face was just too cute and I love reading young Harry.

They way you showed his anger at Voldemort, at the man who had taken everything from him, it makes sense that he would feel that way. I loved the raw emotions you had in this as well. He wanted to see it again enough to defy Dumbledore's orders, and that really says a lot.

I do think you could add more detail to everything Harry is feeling, only because it would really highlight the awesome emotions have you going on.

This was such a touching one shot, again happy birthday!

Jami

Author's Response: Aww, thanks so much! This is an awesome present!

I am really really really happy that you liked this one-shot, and I might add more detail if I have time.

Again thanks so much for this lovely review and.
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Review #5, by Lady Asphodel His one wish

9th November 2012:
Hi! I'm from the review tag!

This was a very good insight on Harry's thoughts when he revisited the mirror again. You really portrayed Harry from the first book really good.

I even liked how you made Harry determination of stopping Voldemort so his parents' sacrifices wouldn't be in vain, despite that he didn't know if he was back or not.

The only thing that got me were a few of spelling errors. Overall this was great!

Happy writing!


-Asphodel

Author's Response: Hi!
Why thank you for the wonderful review! I am so happy that I wrote this story well. And I will go fix those errors when I have time.

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Review #6, by shadowycorner His one wish

3rd November 2012:
I really loved this moment from the first book, so it was nice to get back to it. I like how you added extra thoughts to Harry's mind that expanded the entire situation. I wish there was more to it, however, because this way it's very similiar to the moment that was already in the book. Still it was a nice read, though. Nice of you to share and I'm glad you had fun writing it. :)

Author's Response: Hi!
I did good on this story, didn't I? :D I kinda wished I wrote more, but if I did it would prob. be a few chapters, and I like to have one-shots for challenges. Yeah, I am weird. I do realise that you mean add more to THIS chapter, but I can't do that... for some odd reason.

Thanks for the lovely review though, and I did have fun writing it!
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