I loved this story. It was such a unique look at such a complex character. It was a wonderful new approach to seeing Mr. Voldy. :D

I loved how you used the idea of broken here. It was a very different take on how a heart could be broken.

There were some parts where I did seem to get lost, but I don't know if that's just me or if it's the actual story/wording/what have you. I told you about some of the parts where I thought wording could be changed to make it flow better the other day. I think those minor changes (or a rewrite like you insist on) and it's perfect.

Great story! Great entry! Can't wait to see if you take it further.

Author's Response: I am glad that you thought it worked. I had to stop and completely rewrite it four times and went back and cut and changed lines many many times. It never felt like it was working til right on the deadline, so I just posted it. So I'm glad it didn't come out really bad.

it was like the one thousandth idea I had for the story and I'm really happy it came out well rather than sucking completely.

I'll have a look back over it soon and see if it can be improved anywhere or if I can fix the errors for you.


Further? The dude is dead, how much further can I take it?

Anyway, thank you for reading and more for reviewing. I look forward to some challenge entries from you soon too.

~TyrannicFeenix~

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