I think this is a very interesting one-shot!
I did get confused by one, whether Audrey WAS Rita Skeeter (?), and two, was Audrey referring to Ginny at the very end when talking about her sister-in-law who was a lovely woman and a wonderful cook?
Aside from that, I like how you portrayed Audrey's insecurity about being in the Weasleys' family. Aside from the fact that they are such a tight knit family, it seems as if everyone in that family knew each other for the longest time (like, the Weasleys all knew Angelina b/c of Hogwart, Hermione and Harry have been Weasley family friends for the longest, and Fleur's been married to Bill since before the end of the war).
It definitely must have been scary for Audrey to get introduced to such a family and I think that I definitely would have been scared of how beautiful and wonderful Ginny and Fleur is, and not only those two, but the rest of this famous family.
Good job (:Author's Response: Hi!
No, Audrey isn't Rita Skeeter, unless she has DID, which would be... a fic I'd like to read, actually. And Audrey does narrate that Rita does ask her specifically about Fleur, so it's safe to say she probably isn't talking about Ginny. :P
Anyway, I'm glad you found my characterisation of Audrey decent - your analysis of her is pretty much spot on, IMO.
Thank you so much for your review! Report Review
I'm here for the review tag in the common room forums :)
I really enjoyed this story. I haven't ever read anything that was written from Audrey's perspective before, and this was a really interesting interpretation of her character.
I liked the beginning, and especially the details you included that firmly cemented us in the time. In just a few lines of description, you managed to paint a wonderfully vivid picture in my mind and even the characters you mention very briefly seem to have a personality and some depth to them.
I've never thought before about what it must be like for the women who married into the Weasley family, particularly Audrey who didn't know them from a young age or share the same experiences with them. Fleur must be quite an intimidating sister-in-law to have, as far as beauty is concerned.
I don't think I'd hate Audrey. I quite like how candid she is about her views on her sisters-in-law and beauty. It would actually be really interesting to see you develop her character further if you ever wrote a longer piece about her.
I loved your descriptions of Rita Skeeter at the end, as well. It seems Audrey knows exactly what sort of person she is and isn't afraid to say it (or think it, at least!) - like I said earlier, I quite like her candid nature. The way that Audrey manages to mask her true opinion on Fleur when she is questioned about her is quite impressive, and definitely seems like the sort of skill you'd need if you're a Weasley and Rita Skeeter is sniffing around!
Overall, I really enjoyed reading this one-shot, and I liked your re-interpretation of the Mean Girls (love that film - sorry, but it has to be said!) quote.
nott theodore :)Author's Response: Hi!
I'd never read Audrey fic either before writing this - I've since found many, many different Audreys - so it was a bit awkward trying to figure out whether this is a cliche in the Audrey/Percy subfandom. But anyway.
Early '00s cafes on the south coast are probably my favourite settings ever, just because they're so distinct and so atmospheric without meaning to be - so I had great fun writing this description, and I'm glad you like it too.
Audrey is an interesting character to explore from this angle, and it's possible that I may return to her at some point - Elphaba and Boyfriends suggested a Weasley family gathering fic, which would be hilarious. And also a different lens through which to view alienation and inadequacy.
Thank you so much for your lovely review! Report Review
Hello! Here is the first of your reviews for winning the face-off! Well done - I must say I loved your argument about Bill.
So this was really interesting. I love Mean Girls and that quote in particular, although it doesn't particularly fit with the story at first glance. The more I've read over the story though the more I can see why it kind of does. While she does seem to love Percy it does seem like she avoids people to sit by herself in the cafes. That in mind she kind of wouldn't fit into the Weasleys would she? She's also a witch I presume in a Muggle cafe so I guess that's another one. I do love that you took it completely out of context though.
Audrey is really miserable isn't she? But she seems to revel in it which I think is even worse. To answer your AN I don't think I'd hate her but I can't imagine I'd like her either. She isn't the kind of person I'd want to be around either.
I think it's interesting that she is afraid of beautiful people - especially having Fleur as a sister-in-law that really can't be easy. This Audrey is completely different to any other that I've read and she's really fascinating to read.
This was a really interesting one shot - I really enjoyed it!
Lauren :)Author's Response: God, it's been a long time. I'm so sorry.
I love messing around with context and stuff - though it's confused a lot of people - so I'm glad it worked for you, too! And Audrey was great fun to think up as a character, because she's married to the man who is in effect the unfavourite of the Weasley family, and so is put into a direct opposition against her sisters-in-law even without the phobia. I just amplified that a bit, and voila. :D
Thank you so much for your review! Report Review
I loved this. It was so different to most of the other stories i've read on here. It was much more... raw. Closer to the bone, I guess. It tapped into a fear that i'd never even heard of before and put it into a situation so by the end of it I felt like I had the phobia myself. Very, very well done.
It confused me a bit at the start, the quote threw me off a bit as well, but by the end it all clicked, and the quote made perfect sense and I genuinely felt like a light bulb had just switched on above my head. Well done with that too. It's a very comedic line in the film and to make it work with such an emotionally complex and raw story is amazing.
I don't really know what else to say apart from the fact I adore this piece in every way and would like to thank you for writing it.Author's Response: Hello!
So I really wasn't sure about how the phobia would come across - honestly, I hadn't heard of it either before I was set this challenge - so that's a relief.
I love messing around with quotes and context, and while I do love Mean Girls, I love my angst better. Doesn't work for everyone, obviously, but I'm glad it works for you.
Thank you so much for this wonderful, unexpected review. Report Review
Hello it's patronus_charm from the review tag!
Yay Mean Girls!! I have to get this out of the way, but it's such an awesome film, and that quote has to be one of the best out of the entire film!
Wow, I thought this was really good! I never imagined that any of the Weasley wives would be jealous of Fleur, but I guess it's only natural considering she's part veela. I guess that could be where Ginny's hate for her came from, as she was taking her claim as most beautiful.
I really liked the way you portrayed Audrey as I thought her observations of the world were really interesting and unique so it was fascinating to read those. Especially about the good old English weather ;D
Overall I thought this was really good, as you provided a new interesting perspective I had never even thought of! A very enjoyable read I have to say :DAuthor's Response: Hey!
Mean Girls is an awesome, awesome film and I love that quote too even though I totally messed with it in this fic.
I've always thought that Fleur must get a lot of hate from basically everyone, and she's married to the coolest (IMO) Weasley while Audrey's married to the 'other' Weasley. I think Audrey might be more freaked out than jealous, but jealousy works too. :D
Audrey's characterisation was fun to think about; I definitely enjoyed writing her as a character, with the rain and cafes and so on. So I'm glad you liked it.
Anyway - thank you so much for your review, and I'm sorry for this super-late response! Report Review
Hmm... this is an interesting story. I had to read it, step back for a bit, and read it again, but it was definitely interesting, although I'm not quite sure what it has to do with the Mean Girls quote... unless it had to do with them being beautiful and her not, or she's a witch in a muggle cafe. I don't know. The meaning clearly just went over my head. But I liked it. I'm not the surest as to whether or not I'd like Audrey in person, but she doesn't seem too terrible. I did enjoy her comments about Rita Skeeter though, they made me laugh, because they're true.
I really enjoyed this little snippet into her life, sitting in cafes, writing, maybe doodling, watching mundane people doing mundane things. It's very different from other one-shots I've read. It was also very well written. I think you did a nice job with this.
xxEnigmaticEyes16Author's Response: Don't worry, I've been criticised a lot for the seemingly random Mean Girls quote, but I did actually put some thought into that. You're on the right lines, though.
Anyway - I'm very glad you like it, because this was a strange one to write... she's the first mostly-OC I've ever written. Thank you very much for your review. :) Report Review
Hi there! I'm here to review your story from the Mean Girls Quote Challenge! :)
This was very, very, VERY interesting! I loved Audrey's thoughts and I loved how you made the quote as one of the main bits. Like, even though you didn't integrate it with your text obviously, it had that sense that she didn't belong in the magical world.
Unless I'm interpreting it wrong...
Anyway, I also really liked the calignyephobia weaved into this piece. From the tiny bit that I just researched, you seemed to have gotten it spot-on!
And I was hoping someone would do a non-humour story! I'm glad that you did it though!
Anyway, thanks for entering my challenge and good luck! :)Author's Response: Hi!
I have been given a fair amount of criticism for the quote for not capturing the spirit of Mean Girls (though wouldn't that technically only be possible if I were to write an American high school AU?), but I decided to re-contextualise it for this fic.
Anyway - I'm glad you like it, and you're free to make up your own mind. :D
Caligynephobia and Mean Girls go really well together, I think. I'd feel pretty caligynephobic too if I went to school with Regina George.
And you know me - it's always gotta be angst. :D
Thank you so much for your review, and for my first ever first place! Report Review
I'm that crazy girl who wants to do 100 reviews by the end of January. :)
I thought this was such a great insight on Audrey's thoughts, especially since I don't often read one-shots about her.
I don't think she's going to be the person I would hate nor a person I would like. She's just one of those people that I would probably end up ignoring. I don't know why, but I tend to shy away from people who are always sad. And Audrey...well, she's just happy with her sadness. :
The phobia of beautiful women was a really nice addition to the story. Though, I'm a bit disappointed that you didn't focus on it as much as I was expecting you to. But I still ended up liking the way her phobia of the sister-in-laws was approached.
Overall, this was such a nice read and I'm definitely coming back for more. :D
13th review out of 100.Author's Response: Hi!
Good luck with that, by the way.
She is very ignorable, isn't she? I'm surprised people even read this fic, to be honest. But then so is Percy... I'm glad you think it works, anyway.
To be honest, I had absolutely no idea how to handle that kind of fear while still keeping Audrey's characterisation. I'm just not that good at that kind of thing, so either one of those things were going to have to give if I'd written her at, like, Victoire's birthday party, with all those part-Veela and heroines hanging around making her life miserable.
Oh well. *shrugs*
Thank you so much for your review, and I hope to see you round in the future! :D Report Review
Hi there, Caoty! Sorry it’s taken me some time to get to reviewing your submission to the Strange Meeting Challenge - I did read it when you first posted, but life got in the way! Anyway, I’m here now and glad to be reviewing ‘My Sister-In-Law’.
The Mean Girls quote struck me as a little incongruous - I guess it’s for a different challenge? But it’s such a funny line, delivered so humorously in the film, that to me it doesn’t sit well with the slightly sinister ennui-filled tone of the rest of the story. I really enjoyed the first line though; it invites so many questions - barely any of which get answered! (Of which, more later.)
“backstage at a theatre” set the scene for me perfectly; I know *exactly* what you mean. You’re very good at choosing similes, in my opinion.
“curiously envious” - I liked this line. You drop it in casually but it says so much. I’ve been struggling to remember which song it reminds me of. It’s either ‘Common People’ by Pulp - that deep, unspoken curiosity about that which we consider ‘below’ us - or ‘Piano Man’ by Billy Joel. The line, ‘and the waitress is practicing politics’... the waitress in both instances is a figure in the background, but you drop one little hint at her thoughts and it’s intriguing!
Why is Audrey so sad? To answer your question in the A/N - I think I probably wouldn’t like to be her friend! She seems to me to be so smug and self-satisfied in her sadness and in the comparisons she draws between herself and her perfect sisters-in-law.
Rain on a wedding day definitely needs to be accompanied by someone diving *through* the cake, Guns N’ Roses style. Maybe if Audrey had just stopped looking at Ginny and Fleur, and enjoyed herself... but of course, that’s hard - especially for someone with a genuine fear of beautiful women. That said, I *love* the way she refers to Percy as ‘beautiful and small’ - it’s tender and protective, which is probably exactly what he needs in a life partner.
I love the gritty British/90’s- early 00’s details. Green Day! ‘Three chords’ made me laugh.
Why is she meeting Rita?! Has she promised her a scoop, which she is now not going to deliver? If so, I’m torn between thinking her cruel, and thinking her brilliant. Is she friends with Rita? Does Rita think she’s using Audrey? I like the hint that Rita is tenaciously ploughing on - almost as though her career may be well past it’s best, but she has this *need* for gossip, a compulsion to be scurrilous.
You’ve painted a very vivid image with very few words, which I always find delightful to read, never mind the actual pleasantness (or otherwise) of the image itself. You’ve also done one of my favourite things - raised a ton of questions in the reader’s mind. I would ask you to expand on this story, but I have a feeling that any answers I got to my questions about Audrey and her life would not be entirely trustworthy - very early in this story I told myself that Audrey is quite possibly not a very reliable narrator. For one thing, she seems to delight in spinning a narrative from the world around her (although I know I do that too), for another, she openly compares herself to Nick Carraway. Hmm. I don’t think I’d trust Audrey any farther than I could throw her (from your description, this would not be very far).The one moment I’d like to believe is truly genuine is her clear affection for Percy.
I think I’ve rambled enough now - in short, I enjoyed this, even if it did make me feel kind of icky. I think you are a very deft and capable writer.
Oh, ahaha. ‘Give Me Novacaine’ just shuffled onto my iTunes.
-AtheneAuthor's Response: Hey! And you've more than made up for it with this fantastically fantastic review. :D
I was kinda attempting to recontextualise the quote a bit, just to see if it'd work. I don't think it did.
I think I may have stolen 'backstage at a theatre' from somewhere so I can't really take credit for it. But thank you anyway. :D
1984 does it best. Only the proles and the animals are free. I think some people actually do think like that... and Audrey both recognises that and does it herself, because she's a strange bird, that one.
I think she equates sadness with realism, but I don't know. *shrugs*
Although she does seem to enjoy it, doesn't she?
I like to imagine that George was, somehow, exposed to November Rain and therefore did the whole cake-diving thing, but I think Percy would have done him some more irreparable bodily harm if that had happened.
And as for Audrey/Percy twu wuv... it's probably the healthiest romance I've ever implied. I feel quite pleased about that actually.
I don't know why everyone's so happy that I mentioned Green Day in there, but I guess considering it's set in 2005ish... that's when everyone loved American Idiot, wasn't it? Although I was ten at the time so I don't really know. *shrugs*
You know what, I've got no clue whatsoever. But it was fun.
I love unreliable narrators, and Audrey is one of many. I think she realises it, though. Normal people don't just go round comparing themselves to Nick, of all fictional characters. I also love love stories.
Anyway, I'm sorry about this rather crap response to your review-with-fitting-background-music, and good luck with finding your winners. :) Report Review
This was an interesting piece to read. I have never had an insight into Audrey's mind before so this was definitely interesting to me. I liked your plot, and your portrayal of her. The way she thinks about Fleur, Ginny and beauty - it was quite understandable. You wrote it in a way that I couldn't hate her, but I couldn't sympathise with her either. The ending was fitting, the way she acts all nonchalant about her sister-in-law (whom she was complaining about a while ago) in front of Rita Skeeter. The narrative was slightly difficult to understand, especially towards the end, but I read it twice and was able to get your meaning.
All in all, this made a nice interesting read and I liked reading it. Good work!
(AditiDraco95)Author's Response: Hey!
I've never read a fic from Audrey's POV either, so I decided to have fun with it... Audrey was a strange one to write, so I'm glad you appreciate her her-ness.
God, I didn't realise I had a plot. I'm glad you like it anyway.
Thank you so much for your review!
Interesting take on Audrey. She is quite dreadful. With Percy any woman would need to be depressing and dreadful I think ( I never liked Percy). Well written. :3Author's Response: I did have fun making Audrey the kind of person who would fit Percy (I never liked him either), so I'm glad you appreciate her. :)
Thank you for your review! :D Report Review
I think this is an interesting take on Audrey. I do like the description you have in this, especially at the beginning! It did a great job to set up your story. I'm not really seeing how each of the challenges come into play in this piece though. To me I just didn't see the phobia portrayed in this. I mean you start to touch on it that she doesn't desire to be beautiful but I don't really feel a fear of beautiful people either thoughout this. I think if you went back and added in a bit more to make me feel her fear of beautiful people it would work a lot better because all I can feel is that she hates them when you mention Fleur and Ginny. I do like Audrey's characterization though! I think that you have a real person instead of someone fake. She doesn't fit in with her new family and I think that that is something that does indeed happen so it was nice to see. Basically, I think if you just add a bit more to really make a person see that she has a fear of beautiful people and not just a hatred, I think it would make this piece work better. I enjoyed reading this piece though, it was well written! Great Job!
~Slytherinchica08~Author's Response: Hello again. :)
I have to agree with you about the phobia thing, actually. I didn't really know how to write it effectively without making it overly melodramatic, and that wouldn't have fit with Audrey's characterisation, so I just sort of left it. I'm just lazy, I guess. XD
I'm glad you like Audrey! She was a fun character to think of, because she needed to be an individual as well as mesh well with Percy's personality, and I've never written someone like that before.
Thank you for your review! :) Report Review
Hey there, got here through the review tag in the Gryffindor forum :D
I always thought about the kind of woman that would marry Percy. And I find it fitting that she should not feel as "at home" in the Weasley family as the other in-laws, that have faced war and death and healing together.
I liked the idea of this story, really original, to have her fear beautiful women.
XoXoAuthor's Response: Hey there fellow Gryffie. :)
I was thinking a lot about the kind of woman who'd marry Percy too - she'd have to be pretty unique, after all, yet mesh well with her husband.
Thank you for your review. :)
Wow, you actually made the phobia of beautiful women work out!
I had no idea what you were going to pull out of your pocket, but you truly made it happen where it wasn't to much, and yet it wasn't just thrown into the background either.
This was very, very well written, and I loved the whole story, how she had Flour and Ginny who are beyond beautiful there, and how she reacted when she met them for the first time.
This was really very creative, and I liked it a lot, great job!!
Thank you so much for joining my challenge, and good luck with all of the other ones this story went into as well(:
XxxxAuthor's Response: I'm glad you think so! It's such a weirdly interesting phobia.
I was actually a bit worried that I hadn't emphasised the phobia part enough, but then I didn't want it to come across as melodramatic either... so thank you for that.
Well the first thing that came to mind when I had "Audrey Weasley + pretty people" was, obviously, Fleur, and the way Harry goes on about Ginny you'd think she was be part Veela too, so it was a bit of a happy accident. ^_^
Thank you so much for your review, and I hope your challenge goes well! :) Report Review
Hi, Elphaba here with your requested review!
Okay, I read this story on my phone, and didn't see the thing about caligynephobia until I sat down at my computer to type up this review. In the meantime, I wondered why Audrey was so unhappy (Did she not love Percy? Have her in-laws been cruel to her? Has Percy been cruel to her? Does she feel like she doesn't fit in?). After thinking all that, the fear of beautiful women struck me as very funny. :)
In your author's note, you ask what I think of Audrey. While I was reading, I mostly wondered why she was so sad. Her description of the "flowery ennui" she finds herself in made me think that perhaps she likes to be sad -- or perhaps it is preferable to being afraid. That and the mention of "glamour charms" and "expensive make-up" made me return to my initial reaction that she just doesn't feel like she fits in. If she sees herself as not beautiful, then perhaps beautiful women make her feel like an outsider? Her fear doesn't seem so unreasonable, then.
Is she the type of person I'd hate? No. The types of people I have the least use for are women like Regina George's mother and guys who wear Axe body spray.
You asked in your review request whether I found the story to be either boring or pointless, and I would answer "no" to both questions. Good writing doesn't bore me, and I generally like character studies.
I am left with questions, and I would like to know more about Audrey and her relationship with Percy (When she lies about when he will be home, what is the truth?). I think it would be entertaining to read her observations on a Weasley family get-together. :)Author's Response: Hey there!
It is an unusual thing to be afraid of, isn't it? Beautiful women, the ideal in our society, etc. I imagine a lot of it's just straight-up misogyny being justified through a psychological label, but I decided to treat it a bit more objectively for this one-shot.
I think she does like being sad - though my opinion doesn't carry much weight, all I've done is write the thing - she kind of romanticises it a bit, all flowers and rain instead of the more, well, depressing reality. And I think she does definitely feel alienated by beauty as a whole, not just in women - hence why she lives in ugly cafes - and I've never written someone like that before. It was strange.
I love Regina's mum! She's so stupid. :D
Although I'd have to agree with you about Axe, though over here we call it Lynx and it's still just as horrible.
I'm glad you think so, I've got stupidly low self-esteem when it comes to fic and for this one especially. :S
That actually sounds like a great idea. Could you imagine how she'd feel trying to help out with the cooking? With Fleur and Ginny? I might actually write that. Report Review
My first requested review!!
To be completely honest, I liked this piece. It was real and your character was real. I liked her description of the cafe and how she felt she was backstage at a theatre, how she is losing her drama in other people's.
However you lost me at the end. If this was a longer piece, that would be ok, but you finished this one-shot with the reader having no idea where your character fits. Is the main character Rita Skeeter's sister-in-law or Fleur's? If she is Fleur's then where does she fit? It is still really nicely written and I still enjoyed reading it. I strangely like the main character, sympathise with her.
This is a very short piece. This is definitely not a bad thing, it means you have plenty of room to extend it more. Make the internal monologue longer. Show us more of the character before Rita comes in. Maybe reflect on Rita and expand on Rita's connection with the main character. Expand on why Ginny and Fleur were at her wedding. How does she know them. Expand more on her husband. Why does she live in cafes.
To be very specific, work on the last 5 paragraphs. Expand them. Think about them as if you were a first time reader. What do they convey? What is happening in them? What is your main character thinking? Everything up to there works beautifully.
Your writing is exquisite and I really liked the style of this piece. I feel like you know the character intimately and this is a really good thing. You got in her head and I love pieces which expand on a moment in someone's life. This is well done, and I enjoyed reading it.
To answer your author's note, I don't think I would hate her. But that doesn't really reflect on your writing because I have this annoying habit of looking for people's redeeming characteristics. I would love to learn more about this woman and her view on the world.
As for whether this piece is boring or pointless. No. Good writing is always enjoyable, even if you are describing nothing more than the wind waving in the breeze. The thing with reading and writing, is that it gives you a chance to view the world through someone else's eyes and the value of that should never be underestimated.
All in all, good job. I hope my review has been constructive :) Please let me know what you think.Author's Response: I'm glad you liked that - I had this idea of Audrey as an actor, but like an actor in the wrong place... if that makes any sense at all.
I'm sorry, I should have made that clearer - she's Audrey Weasley, so Percy's wife. I mentioned her by her first name in the summary, so I just sort of assumed that you guys would know who I'm on about. I'll edit this at some point to include that in my author's note. Sorry about the confusion.
See, I write really short pieces, and I'm scared that I might mess this up if I wrote an extended version - Audrey is a pretty dull character and I'd pretty much gone through what I thought was worth writing about her before Rita turned up.
And I honestly have no idea why she lives in cafes - the implication is that she's escaping the beauty she doesn't like, I think she even says so at one point... wait...
"Perhaps this is why I am here in these cheap Muggle cafes. I am safe here from glamour charms and Veela and expensive make-up. I can sit here and reflect, with my notebook filled with invented confessions and dreary poetry."
So maybe there is a reason after all, though obviously you don't have to believe her if you don't want to. :P
I don't know what they convey - I'm not that objective.
What's supposed to be happening is that Rita Skeeter's turned up and Audrey is generally not too fond of her, hence her description of what kind of artist Rita is. I think. I don't know. I get a kick out of ambiguity.
This was really fun to write - I feel like I'm doing Legilimency! - and I'm glad you enjoyed it even though there's basically no plot.
I was sort of trying to make her a bit like Satan in Paradise Lost - you either hate Satan, think he's just being an idiot, or you agree with him - but I'm glad you disagree with the question. People's opinions are fun, and maybe I will write more Audrey in the future.
Anyway. Thank you so much for your review! You've given me a lot to think about. :) Report Review
This was definitely not boring! Let's just clear the air here.
I would hate Audrey for such a negative attitude. There's no doubt in my mind. I can't stand people with such a sour attitude. She would drive me insane.
I did pity her, on some level. But then again I hated her for being so self-wallowing. I'm tall and skinny--I TOWER over the boys at six feet and you don't see me whining! She doesn't live life content with herself and it drives me crazy. Gosh, this piece didn't physcologically affect me until you asked if she was a person I would hate. You writing makes me think! Oh good lord, I love it! I've never read anything that made me think of the characters like this! I LOVE this. Genuinely love it!
EverAuthor's Response: Yay! That's good to read.
She would drive me insane, too. She'll probably drive herself insane even, what with all that sitting in cafes and commenting on people. I've no idea how she can stand it. :S
You're skinny and six feet tall and many, many people would kill to be like that, darling, Audrey included. :P
But you're right, she does need to rethink herself, especially when she sees fit to comment on Rita Skeeter's appearance.
I like to throw in random questions, so I'm glad you like this one!
And thank you so much for your lovely review. :)
First, to answer your questions in your author's note, I can't say if Audrey is the type of person I'd hate because I've never really read a story about her before. She's certainly different to how she's been written in stories where she's a minor character. I suppose I could say whether or not I'd hate her, but I'm thinking more about how she'd be in canon, and that's not something we know.
Anyway, I feel sorry for her character more than I hate her. She seems to have this twisted view of the world and her sister-in-law, but I saw the phobia in the chapter summary, and that's what makes me not hate her. Phobias can seriously affect a person's life, depending on how serious it is. I think you wrote that really well.
This was a really interesting one-shot. I enjoyed reading this.
(P.S. Great use of The Great Gatsby. I'm riding that now for college. :D)Author's Response: I was more referring to this Audrey rather than the canon Audrey (whoever that is anyway; with this Audrey I was just trying to invent someone who'd fit well enough with Percy to marry him) but I see your point. Maybe I shouldn't ask for readers' opinions on people they don't actually know. :P
I'm really glad you said that about the phobia! I wasn't sure if I'd written it properly and made it clear enough - I know basically nothing about phobias other than that people are scared of stuff - so thank you for that.
Thank you very much. :)
(I'm doing Gatsby at school at the moment, and I was writing this instead of doing homework. Maybe that's just my procrastinator's guilt showing through. :D) Report Review
So, first thing, I'm incredibly intrigued by how honest Audrey is with herself. She hangs out in these muggle cafes to avoid.. well whatever it is she wants to avoid, I suppose. It can't be just Fleur and Ginny, because it's not like those two are turning the corner in every wizard place she'd be, just magic in general, maybe? Or is she avoiding anyone seeing her, because she just doesn't like seeing people. I don't hate her at all, I feel like she's relatively boring and bitter, but I think that's also part of her 'charm' and It's just neat to be in such a different state of mind than my own.
I love beauty. Absolutely love it. So being apart of some one even temporarily that's so different than me is kind of awesome. I almost didn't notice when Rita slipped in. And of course now I'm re-curious. Was it a planned meeting? Did they just happen to run into each other?
Your mind is a fun place. I really liked the SoC in this piece, and I'm excited to see what you come out with next ♥Author's Response: Hey~
I was messing around with the idea that Audrey would be like an actor: like, someone who understands their character's motivation for doing things because they've got into that character's head, while still keeping a level of detachment... I don't know why, but it was fun to think about.
Oh my God, the image of Fleur and Ginny just randomly popping up in different Wizarding places has made my morning. And it's not even sunrise yet.
I mean, I think Audrey's just projecting her caligynephobia onto those two, but my interpretation doesn't really matter and in any case if someone comes along with a better one I'll change my mind.
I love beauty too. Audrey's weird, but I'm glad her weirdness interests you.
See, I thought of it as Rita going for a cup of tea and finding a Weasley instead, but, again, it doesn't matter what I think. :P
You are going to LOVE what I've got in the queue right now... hopefully... maybe? (More experimental stuff, yaay.)
You mentioned Green Day! :D I always get a little bit excited when people mention era-related bands and things in fics because it's so easy for people to just ignore it or use modern music because it's all they know and it just doesn't work as well. Actually, just quickly, all your references were so wonderful. They really helped to set the scene, fitting in so well and rounding out Audrey's character, giving a lot more depth than she would otherwise have had, I think.
Anyway, I really, really enjoyed this. I don't think I'd hate Audrey, tbh, simply because she's so comfortable as herself yet not at the same time. She doesn't want to be different, she's not jealous of Fleur and Ginny for being prettier than her, but at the same time she can't quite reconcile that with herself, I think. It's a lovely hypocrisy - one of those things which so many people forget to include in their writing.
Audrey is just such a real character, you know? She feels like she lives and breathes and exists - which is so fantastic. I adore stories when people manage to do that - create people rather than characters in or for a story. But then again, I tend to write more character-based stuff, so I'm biased :P
The introduction of Rita Skeeter was brilliantly done as well. She barely took up much space in the one-shot, and it was just enough of a mention that she was involved and we got a glimpse of her character, as well as how Audrey views her (which is not exactly in a flattering light and I doubt anyone could blame her for that, lol).
Gah, description was lovely and minimal - just enough. Too much would make it too heavy and dull, I think. Pace was perfect. How do you write such wonderful, short little one-shots which contain so much to think about? Seriously, how?
Aph xxAuthor's Response: I always, always love when fic writers put in pop culture references - I feel so proud of myself when I get them! - so I decided to have a go too. And 2005 is a year I can actually remember, so that helps too. I was also kind of trying to use them to not make her seem like this completely self-absorbed, wishy-washy character... I don't know how well I succeeded on that, but I'm glad you appreciate it.
Audrey does have a bit of a complicated relationship with how she looks, doesn't she? I didn't realise while I was writing it. I can't quite figure out what her problem is, whether it's caligynephobia or misogyny or just plain old self-esteem issues that she's valiantly trying to overcome - but I suppose it is difficult to really hate her when you look at her from that perspective. I don't know, I just write this stuff, I don't pretend to understand what the hell I'm on about and I have no idea how you do. xD
I was worried that Rita Skeeter was a bit random, actually. Like, you've got all this reflection about cafes and rain and weddings and beauty and death or whatever, but then a wild Rita Skeeter appears. So I'm glad you think it was alright.
I don't write wonderful, thought-provoking one-shots; I write something boring, throw in some fancy adjectives and maybe a simile, and get people far smarter than I am to find meaning in it. Works like a charm. :P
Thank you so much for your wonderful, wonderful review! x Report Review
You asked for incongruent thoughts in sentences, you got 'em! (OK, maybe they're kind of congruent. Sorry about that.)
You know, I don't think I'd hate Audrey at all. I'm not sure I'd have anything in common with her. I don't generally like hanging out in coffee shops, watching sad people be sad. And I like Green Day, at least their old stuff before Billie Joe Armstrong decided to become a political activist and they started making Broadway musicals. True story: the closest I ever came to dying at a concert was Green Day playing the Esplanade in Boston in 1994. The concert ended with State Police in riot gear on horseback dispersing the crowd. Good times...
Anyway, that's not what you want to know about. You want to know what I think of this story. It's definitely different, but all of your stories are different. I get the feeling you were dealt a pretty tough hand for this challenge. What on earth do Fleur, Audrey and Rita Skeeter possibly have to do with one another??? So you wrote it a very engaging, "stream of consciousness" sort of manner that I think suits the subject matter really well. Nick was a really great analogy for Audrey's perspective on the events going on around her. She's immersed in the people she observes, yet she is not one of them in her own mind. And she analyzes them with a ruthless objectivity.
To me, her thoughts on Ginny and especially Fleur were fantastically nuanced. Just because you don't want to be surrounded by people who are more beautiful or graceful than you (or taller, smarter, wealthier or with better teeth, for that matter) doesn't mean that you're inherently jealous of them. You may just prefer the company of folks that make you feel more comfortable, more in your own element. It's not a crime or a sin. And her comments on the fleeting nature of physical beauty actually came across as rather practical as opposed to catty.
And into Audrey's introspective sphere comes Rita Skeeter. Your summation of her talents put a smile on my face. And it's plain that she hasn't changed much with the possible exception of being a bit more subtle about things. Audrey's casual deflection of her question was lovely. Very "Southern U.S. charming", if that makes sense to you.
Your writing, as always, was flawless and fantastic. You have a real talent for turns of phrase and unusual descriptive metaphors. It's always a pleasure!Author's Response: I've read this and it's not incongruent in the slightest. I'm disappointed in you, Dan.
Audrey would be a strange person to have a conversation with. I can't stand cafes, especially not the ones she goes to with the sticky floors and crap coffee. Though that said, I really like Warning but can't stand American Idiot, and this story would've been set around 2004/2005-ish, so maybe Audrey and I do have something in common.
I can't imagine you experiencing death via Green Day concert, horses or no horses. XD
I do actually kind of want to know about that almost-death-by-Green-Day-concert but anyways.
When I was given Audrey and Rita Skeeter I was like, "I ABSOLUTELY have to write this." I don't know if you've ever had that feeling - being given something that's just so unexpected that it's perfect? But yeah.
I write everything in stream-of-consciousness, I'm kind of worried that I'm unable to write anything else, actually... but anyway.
I threw in the thing about Nick because I realised that hey, this chick kinda sounds like whathisface (I called him that in my English class once, my teacher was not very impressed) from that book the Americans like so much, and it worked somehow. *shrugs*
I was trying to make an inherently unreasonable thing - dislike of the beautiful - into something that sounds reasonable while still keeping the whole melancholic thing I had going, so melodramatic reactions and fancy metaphors it was. I still can't decide whether she genuinely believes her rationalisation or if she's hiding something. (Hey, just 'cause I write this stuff doesn't mean I understand it!)
I was wondering whether the profanity and stuff (or the ending, for that matter) was a bit too abrupt or OOC, so I'm glad you liked it! :3
You are far too kind. Thank you so so so much for your absolutely AMAZING review, even if it was longer than the actual one-shot. :P Report Review
Well, hi. I'm here from the review tag.
I really don't even know who Audrey is. But she's seems like the person to be unsure of.
This was a nice read though.
Keep up the good work! ;)
-AsphodelAuthor's Response: Hello~
Audrey's Percy's wife, according to JKR, apparently. I'd always thought he married Penelope Clearwater, but y'know...
Thank you for reviewing anyway, even if you didn't know who the hell I was on about. ;) Report Review
I really, really enjoyed this. I haven't really read a Percy/Audrey fic for a while now- I usually keep away from Hogwarts-era canon because their so often warped. But I think you pulled Audrey off very nicely. This is the sort of Audrey I think is a good match for Percy and I wouldn't say I hate her at all.
I liked this a lot and really, I'm in awe how you managed to write something under 1000 words to fit in three different challenges! Good luck with them all :)Author's Response: Oh my God, it's you again. :P
I've never actually read an Audrey/Percy, to be honest, I was just trying to invent a character who'd be both individual and who'd mesh well enough with Percy's character to marry him. I've never done that before, so I'm glad you like her.
Thank you so much for your wonderful reviews! Report Review
Here from Review Tag! :)
This was really entertaining, and I think a lot of it was your Audrey's relatability. I think this Audrey is a good match for Percy, in that they're both trying to be practical and yet come across as a bit awkward. I love how she feels uncomfortable regarding her figure, and yet her attitude toward Rita is the picture of pristine, polite femininity. Perhaps she fits in with Fleur and Ginny after all.
The flow of this was lovely. For a moment there, I thought Rita was the one sobbing into her phone and felt a sick sense of satisfaction. However, I think the atmosphere you created so perfectly in the beginning provides a beautifully unfitting backdrop to Rita's very serious interview with Audrey. Nice job setting the scene and tone.
Nice work, once again!
-AmandaAuthor's Response: Oh my God, it's you! :)
I was trying to write not just an introspective female character, but one whose personality is both individual and meshes well enough with Percy's so that it's believable that they'd actually get married. I've never done that before, so I'm really glad you think it works.
And as for femininity, polite or otherwise: this is (as well as the cafes and the caligynephobia) a story about women, or at least, that was the intention - so, yeah, again, thank you for mentioning that. ^.^
It'd have been great if Rita was the sad drunk, but alas, it wouldn't have fit into the story. :(
But the description and the mood setting - this is a bit of mood music really, rather than a story - was so, so much fun to do, so I spent like 600 words doing it...
Thank you so much for your lovely, lovely review. :) Report Review
I'm impressed with how well you were able to combine three challenges into one short story. In under 1000 words you managed to write something that's both descriptive and complete-feeling.
I actually don't hate Audrey--I consider myself a nice person, but have also been pushed into meanness by jealousy (maybe not jealous of prettiness, but other things). If anything, I think she's a realistic character, and I like how you left your ending a little ambiguous with whether or not Audrey begins to tell Rita nasty things or not (which I read as, she does). Would I want to be friends with Audrey? Probably not, but she's great to read about here!Author's Response: I was actually a bit worried about the low word count considering how many prompts I had, so I'm really glad you don't think it's too little or anything.
I suppose you do have a point, actually. She does seem to be more sad and alienated than anything else, looking back - apparently I have no idea while I'm writing while I'm writing it. Hmm. Anyway.
Thank you so much for your lovely review! I really do appreciate it. :) Report Review
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