it's really good please write more!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing! I'm going to be updating soon!:)
RosalieHaleDiggory

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Call me a bad critic, but I really just want to help...there are a few things I should point out here that might make your story better-

1. Paragraph spacing. Space your paragraphs and conversations. It's a pain to read otherwise.

2. Rose and Scorpius getting married because of a business deal? Why would Ron ever agree to that? He hates Malfoy's guts. Give a good reason. And if Rose was even half of her parents, she would never agree to it either.

3. Taking Ivy's suggestion...Rose agreed way to quickly. If Scorpius is really her arch enemy, it would take her a lot of convincing. some opportunity to make him suffer wouldn't be enough.

4. If Scorpius is Al's best friend, then Rose must have some shred of approval for him, if Al thinks he's a good guy. And Scorpius wouldnt be mean or torture his best friend's favorite cousin. So work that out a bit.

5. Your writing style in general should be worked on. Tighten up the plot a bit. Dont change scenes too quickly, and maybe have a better flow of words.

I hope this helps! General story looks good...hoping to see better chapters!

Author's Response: I'm sorry, but keep in mind that this is just the prologue of the story, and I'm really new to this. I know this is not perfect, but I am working on it. the story will get better later on, when I get more experience.
RosalieHaleDiggory

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hey.. its a good prologue.. i just think she got happy over ivy's advice real quick.. u know the "making life miserable" one. u should give a reason for ron and draco merging the companies together. like both companies are failing and have a chance to recover if merged together or something like that so that the decision as drastic as an arranged marriage between two enemies makes a little more sense(like ron has no other choice). it will be good to read how rose makes scorp's life miserable. :D :D will be looking forward to it.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing! I took your suggestions and I have a back story for Rose and Scorp's marriage. I also edited the chapter. I value you reviews a lot. Pls keep telling me what I can do to make the story better.:)
RosalieHaleDiggory

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Interesting... Why the heck would Ron do that? I'm curious!
One thing- You need to separate the conversation, like so:
Ivy: *stuff*

Rose: *stuff in response*

Ivy:*more stuff!*

It makes it easier to read, and easier to tell who is talking. :) Update quickly!

Author's Response: THANK YOU SO MUCH! You're the first one to review. thanks for the suggestion, I'll be sure to do follow it for the next chapter.:D

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