Wow, this was awesome! I love how it was the combination of a missing moment that lead into something we all remember from the books. Great job! Your detail descriptions are spellbinding. Sirius is exactly how I had imagined him, escaping from Azkaban. I love how it flowed so smoothly from start to finish. I love the final chapter and how he felt happy to see Harry OK, for the moment. Great job, I only wish there were more chapters to read!
~Celtic~Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for the review. =)
Sirius is really fascinating to write about, especially after all his tribulations. I wanted to give him a glimpse of happiness, even when he's pretty much down, to keep him going. Seeing Harry after so long felt like a right way to do it.
I'm pretty sure this will stay just as one-shot, but it's nice to hear that you'd have liked to read more about it. Although, now that you mentioned it, it might be rather fun to write a fic about Sirius on the lam... We'll see. ;) Report Review
Hello, there, my special Santa's Helper! I really appreciated all of the awesome reviews you did for me during the Secret Santa. It took what was turning into quite a bummer and made it a special treat. :Hugs:
Anyway, before I read the first word, I'm really intrigued by the premise. I always feel a special loathing for Wormtail. So many people got hurt because of the sniveling, cowardly little rat. Let's see what you're going to do with him, shall we?
The scene in the destroyed cottage in Godric's Hollow was beautifully written. You did a great job of using the small details from Sirius's memories and contrasting them with the bleak devastation of the living room. The sadness comes through with such intensity, it was really gripping. I could almost feel my throat tightening up as I imagined Sirius was feeling the same way. Out of the entire place, he was able to salvage nothing more than the 2-way mirror. Terribly, terrbily sad. :(
You kept up your lovely, vivid descriptions as the scene moved from Godric's Hollow to Hogwarts. Theo Nott's pathetic attempt at vandalism was a nice little chuckle in the middle of an otherwise heavy chapter. I loved the way that Sirius judged him a rank amateur.
The way that you captured all of the sensory details of meandering through the Halloween feast the way that a dog would actually experience them was brilliant. Everything was about smells and tastes.
The chase to catch Peter was exciting and gripping. I really wished that it was longer. I think it would have been amazing to bomb through the castle from Sirius's four-legged point of view, weaving behind statues and between students' legs, following Peter's tail. But, seeing as how I could only get about one sentence out of the idea in this review, maybe I just convinced myself that what you did was plenty. LOL
Grrr! Of all the lousy times for Peeves to interfere! OK, I guess the book would have been a lot shorter if he hadn't, but still... You did a good job capturing the frustration as well as giving a perfect explanation for why Sirius decided to tear up the Fat Lady's portrait. I did think it was a bit odd that she wasn't more fearful of him. She almost sounded as though she'd forgotten that he was a fugitive accused of betraying James and Lily and murdering Peter and 12 muggles.
I did love your ending. Even though Sirius failed to kill Peter, seeing Harry alive and healthy and happy gave him something positive to take away from his foray into the castle.
OK, so one nit-picky thing that bugged me. Feel free to ignore it if you like. The only Christmas that Harry would have spent with his parents -- wow, that's sad to write :( -- he would have been around six months old. Probably too young to mount a broom -- even a toy one -- or play with his father's wand. Like I said, nit-picky, but I wanted to point it out.
Also, I noticed one typo: "He sniffed the air and trotted to the Hagridís hut." Should just read "... trotted to Hagrid's hut."
This was a really fun read, even if it didn't end with Sirius tearing Peter limb from limb. Too bad, really. But that wouldn't be canon. So I guess scaring him out of his wits was a pretty good alternative. Great story and thanks again!Author's Response: Hi! =) So sorry, it has taken so long to answer your reviews, really busy winter and whatnot. It was fun to read your stories, I should really get back to your page and finish reading & reviewing Marked. I'm glad I was able to help little around holidays, it was fun and everyone should get some prezzies after all. =)
The Godric's Hollow scene was really sad to write. I'm glad the pain I felt while writing it came across well. I pondered about writing longer chase scene, but then again the point was that no one realized how Sirius came to the castle, and that would have been bit harder to believe if many students had remembered seeing a large dog running around.
I don't think that when you're a painting, you'd fear too many things. Well, at least until someone starts to rip your portrait apart.
Hmm. I'm not sure where you got the Christmas? Chestnuts maybe? Here in Europe people tend to roast those as soon as weather turns colder. So I was definitely thinking about cool October weather rather than holiday season. Mugs of tea, friends, fire in the fireplace and chestnuts. =)
I believe it was in Lily's letter to Sirius (in DH), where she talked about how Harry was zooming around on his toy broom which he got for his first birthday. So around next Halloween (when his parents died) Harry would have been a year and three months old.
Thanks for spotting the typo, I'll fix it asap. Thank you for this lovely review. =) Report Review
Hi. I'm tagging you from the Review Thread.
I really enjoyed reading this one-shot set on Halloween night. It wasn't the typical halloween story, and I think I liked it better because of its uniqueness.
"The years in Azkaban had stripped most of his feelings away and the few memories he had kept hidden from Dementors hadnít exactly been happy ones. Now they were resurfacing little by little, and his soul, that had been sucked up nearly dry, was floundering with waves of emotions."
I think that aptly captured Sirius' character in this moment. The way he addressed the photograph tied in well with his glimpse of Harry at the end, and how he heard him first before seeing him was a nice touch, making his dog-like senses come to life again.
I liked the idea of a big wolfish dog trotting around the castle grounds and making his way into the kitchens. The imagery made me smile, that is, until he ripped up the portrait of the Fat Lady and made her cry. Bad dog! I had entirely forgotten about that little event until just now.
The tiny white footprints and the ears flopping in the wind gave me a great picture of the odd chase through the castle. I was sad for Sirius that the rat escaped him, but it was bound to happen.
Great imagery and a well-done one-shot.Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for the review! =) So sorry it has taken so long to answer, it has been really busy winter.
Sirius is the one character I tend to sorry most in HP books. He loses everything, even his freedom, and that must be hard for someone who has his personality. I feel like he has much more freedom to be true to himself when he's in dog form without any man-made restrictions.
It's so much fun to write scenes that are missing from the books. I guess that's why HP fanfics are so popular.
Thanks again. =) Report Review
What an angering story! Ok, every thing that involves Peter getting away angers me but the way you wrote this made it even more real and, therefore, more angering!
The descriptions were brilliant and all the detailing you put in there, may it be to give us an idea of how the characters looked or what they felt, and especially how the scene looked, it was all coming to life.
I really enjoyed your take on what happened on that halloween night and it felt very realistic, like this could really be the way it turned out. I can definitly imagine Sirius chassing Peter the school before loosing him to the Fat Lady.
Your characterization of Sirius was very well done. He had just the right amount of crazy/paranoid that fits nicely with how he is represented in PoA.
Great job!! And Happy Hollidays!Author's Response: Hi again! =)
This is bit different from my usual fare, so I'm glad it feels realistic. I have always felt so sorry about Sirius's fate, so in a way I want to give him some free and happy moments before his untimely demise. Thank you for your review! =) Report Review
I really enjoyed this little story! Though, it really did read like two separate stories -- the first scene with Sirius in the demolished Potter house and then the second with his pursuit of Peter. Both were incredibly well written and lovely missing moments from PoA, but they did feel a little disjointed from one another.
It was so moving to see the thin and broken Sirius in the ruins of the Potter house -- remembering what once was, looking at photographs and the long abondoned letter Lily had been writing. I loved the mention of the mirrow!! How he'd like to give it to Harry one day. Gahh. I have such a soft spot for well written Marauder fiction. I think the only thing that could have made the first scene better in the context of this particular story was stronger transition into the next scene with him tracking and chasing Peter -- it could even be a fleeting thought about revenge or finding the rat, anything.
The second scene too, was very well written if not a tad bit random following the first very somber scene. I liked seeing Sirius' lighter thoughts about pranking as he passed Hagrid's pumpkins, and thought it was sort of amusing to imagine him scarfing up the terrified girl's biscuit. The encounter between Sirius and Peter was so tense!! I t was fabulous.. and then the encounter between Sirius and the Fat lady too! You did such a great job of filling in some these 'missing' scenes. I love PoA and found this story to be really enjoyable.
Great work!! Great swap!! Let me know if you ever want to swap again.Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for the review! =)
Ah yes, there was a slight change of tone there. I guess I could have made it bit more cohesive with better transition, thanks for pointing it out. I doubt I'll make any big changes in this one anymore, but I'll remember that in future.
I'm glad you enjoyed this fic, it was quite heartbreaking to write. I'm still trying to learn how to write a good action scenes, so I'm very happy that you liked those encounters. PoA is my favorite too, and I've always felt that Sirius's visit to castle would have been interesting to read about.
It was fun to swap with you. Let's do it again sometime in the future. Happy holidays! =) Report Review
For a moment there I thought you were going to take this very AU and have Sirius finish off Peter right then and there in the kitchens! I was reading it very quickly, trying to see what would happen next, but stupid Peter got away again. Drat.
This was so lovely but so sad. :( The descriptions of Lily and James's ruined house were so haunting, particularly this line here:
An unfinished letter with Lily's familiar spindly writing was still resting beneath a quill, as if she had just stepped away from it for a while, instead of leaving it there incomplete for eternity.
- :( So depressing, but beautiful. I like how sunlight colored the room gold, and the thick layer of dust, and it got me to thinking that this is actually Harry's house. It's got to be. I wonder if he'll ever fix it up and decide to live there, or if it will be too full of memories that aren't even his own. I hope he does something nice with it, instead of letting it rot there forever as a twisted sort of shrine. If every person who died in either war had their dilapidated house preserved that way, England would be a mess.
I feel so awful for Sirius. I truly think that his life was the worst one in all of Potterverse. Severus might have suffered from unrequited love, but at least he was free and cozy in Hogwarts instead of locked up in Azkaban. And Remus might've been a werewolf, but he was never confined to a childhood home he abhorred. Sirius led a miserable existence from the time he was 21 up until his death, when he was killed by his own cousin of all people. If he didn't have all of the warm memories of what happened prior to going to Azkaban, he never would have lasted. They burned for years, keeping him alive and sane.
But this missing moment one-shot, for a brief moment, gave me hope of Sirius's redemption, his vengeance, the victory he so very much deserved. And what a lovely, bright moment that was. :)Author's Response: Hi! =)
Peter is one slippery rat for sure. But in the end, it just had to happen that way.
I've been thinking about it too, whether Harry would fix it and live there, or what did happen to that house. Since he doesn't actually remember much of his parents, I could definitely see him fixing the place and making it his home with Ginny and kids.
Ah, poor Sirius. I was so disappointed that JKR didn't give him a chance with happiness with Harry. They'd have been the coolest godson-godfather duo ever. He'd have deserved it.
Thanks again for a lovely review! Happy holidays! Report Review
Hello! I'm here to return your lovely review in the Holiday Review Swap!
Ah! This was such a perfect mix of sweetness, sadness and desperate anger. I really enjoyed it. :D
Your description was fabulous. The manner in which you described the Potter house in Godric's Hollow was really well done. It was easy to picture and the signs of the years that had passed were heart-breaking because of the knowledge that if only things hadn't been different, the house would have had such a happier atmosphere...
And I really liked how you tied the piece of Lily's letter into this story. It provides a wonderfully tidy explanation as to why it was later at Grimmauld Palace even if Sirius hadn't gone back there in his youth because of course he had lived there in his adulthood. :D Wonderful work with fixing small holes in canon!
As well, I think that you did a great job with the description of the scene in Hogwarts. Though the scene was definitely quicker than the previous section, it worked well because you were describing a scene of action, where the main character was a dog. And dogs' thoughts are more simplistic, which you did a great job of showing. Sirius only wanted one thing in this section and that was to capture Peter Pettigrew. It was too bad that Peter escaped.
And the way you tied Peter's escape to Sirius' tearing of the portrait of the Fat Lady was very well done! It was yet another example of the great manner in which you tied this perspective in the canon one.
I noticed two things that are more personal opinon than anything else (but I thought I'd point them out all the same - feel free to ignore). To begin, with the phrase "On Halloween evening" I think it would flow better as "on the evening of Halloween". As well, with the phrase "house that was concealed with spells from Muggles" I would take out "that was" to help improve the flow of the sentence.
All in all I think that you did a great job with this story. Your description was fantastic and you melded it into canon very well. Great work! :DAuthor's Response: Hi! Thank you for your review! =)
I'm glad you enjoyed this one-shot. It was heartbreaking to write about Sirius's visit to Godric's Hollow, but somehow I just felt that he needed it for the closure. When I read that letter in HP, it really struck me how happy family the Potters were even when there was war going on around them. And then in one night all of it was just gone. =(
I'd have loved nothing more than Sirius catching that rat, but the canon way felt more right this story.
I'll definitely check out your suggestions once the queue opens again. Thank you for pointing those out.
It was lovely swap, and I've been thinking about your story constantly since I read that first chapter. I might have to do another review for it. ;) Report Review
This was a great story and i love how it complemented the canonical works rather than going against them. I must say you have a really great writing style. Your stories flow and don't seem at all forced in anyway, the mark of a good writer
I also truly believe what you say about stories that want to be written. I have one I'm working on and I am anxious to finish it if for no other than reason than I want to find out how it ends (if that doesn't sound too strange)Author's Response: Hi again! =)
PoA is my favorite of all the Potter books, but I've always felt that there are some moments that I'd like to read more about. Sirius's Halloween 1993 is one of those moments. I'm glad you think it complemented the original work.
Wow, what compliments. =) I feel like I'm still very much a beginner, but it's so cool to hear that my style is developing well.
This definitely was one of those stories, that just needed to be written. I have a NaNo novel in works that gives me similar feeling, and it looks rather promising. Good luck with your story! Write from your heart! =) Report Review
Hello It's wytchkitty13 from the holiday review swap :)
I like this because it give a more detailed account of exactly what happened with Sirius when he got inside of Hogwarts stalking Pettigrew.
This was very nicely detailed, like we're right there going through the scene with Sirius.
The way you started it out with his dog form and then back to his wizard form and then when he went on the hunt for Pettigrew was really nicely done. It was smooth and flowy. :)
Great job on this story, it reminded me how much I missed the third book and the little things that are to be recognized and appreciated!Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for stopping by and reviewing my one-shot! =)
I'm really glad you liked it. I rarely touch canon events, but I felt that this particular scene was worth writing from Sirius's point of view.
I love PoA as well, it's probably my favorite of all Potter books. So it's good to hear that my rendition did it justice.
Happy holidays! =) Report Review
Hullo there! Sorry to take a bit longer than I thought it would do to get to this review, but the essay caught up with me quite dramatically. But this... this was really interesting. Sirius is one of my favourite stories and will continue to be so for ever, probably, and these Halloween snippets brought with them plenty of my feels related to poor Sirius (and of course Remus, who I think I feel slightly sorrier for... but maybe only just... it's something I honestly debate quite a lot). I kind of which I'd gotten the chance to see Remus in this, actually, but that wouldn't have fit in with canon nearly so well.
The idea of Sirius visiting Godrics hollow after he escaped never really struck me before. Now, of course, I can't imagine any reason why he wouldn't go there... but the idea of him sniffing around their old home and remembering being young is just heartbreaking and ackkk..
Anyways, I really enjoyed this and I thought your descriptions were lovely and I just wanted to read more of it really. Poor Sirius. I will now go tend to my feels.
Thanks for writing :)
-ACAuthor's Response: Hi! No worries, school must come first after all. =)
Poor Sirius and Remus. Sigh. I can't decide either, who to sorry most. I was originally trying to write Halloween fic for Marauders era, but Sirius decided that writing something else was more suitable. I dunno what it says about me, that I just let characters take over and dictate my writing. =P
It was quite heartbreaking to write as well. So in a twisted way I'm happy that you felt that way too, and that I managed to convey those feelings to paper.
Thank you so much for your review! =) Report Review
Here for the tag, hi! :)
I always like reading about missing moments and Sirius' time during PoA especially. This story was very well-written and it conveyed all that it wanted to convey, I think. There was Sirius visiting James and Lily's house, which is something I think he'd definitely do after his escape from Azkaban. The sadness of that scene overwhelmed me. It was sad to see Sirius wander around the house of his dead friends, stumbling upon old photos and unfinished letters. You could also feel his determination and anger at Peter, especially when he mentioned how the rat had been living comfortably with a wizarding family while Prongs was six feet under and Moony all alone in the world. That just broke my heart all over again.
There was also some action and for a moment I really wanted Sirius to get Peter, even though it wouldn't be canon. But oh well. And then he saw Harry and it made me both happy and sad. I wish they had more time together. :(
Anyway, this was a really nice read. Great job.
LizAuthor's Response: Hi and thanks for the review! =)
I'm glad you thought it was a good read. Before I started to write this, I was sure it would be a Marauders era one-shot with some happy Halloween stuff and filled with harmless pranks. But then I just saw a Sirius from PoA wandering in the ruins of the house in my mind, and I just had to write it this way. =) Report Review
Hi there m'dear! It's so rare that you get a well thought out, awesome review form review tag as opposed to a few short lines. And you've given me a handful of those now, so I wanted to stop by and thank you. Then I remembered you were the author of For The Mudblood, which I would love if you continued ;)!
Anyway-- tear my heart out why don't you! It's hard to tell who got the worst end of the deal in all this. James and Lily, who will never see their son grow up, never have another child to hold and love, or Sirius who spent the majority of his life locked way for a crime he sure as heck didn't and wouldn't commit. rawr. Phew. Okay.. don't get teary Jami.. don't get teary..
The line about roasting chestnuts and laughing like only a 21 year old could. Oh God. That was heart wrenching :(.
I loved the way you switched from Sirius's pain, to his anger in the second section. He's more detached in that, which is really awesome and makes the flow so intense. Sirius is an amazing man, but not an even tempered one. Seeing his raw anger, his need to make the man who killed his family pay, was perfect. And it makes me so angry over again that Peter escaped. He should have sat in the cell Sirius was forced into for fifty years, reliving his betrayal over and over until it killed every part of him.
This was really well written. I loved the canon events tied in as well as the way you started in the Potters old home.
Thanks again for the awesome reviews you've left me!!!
JamiAuthor's Response: Hi darling! So nice of you to review my stories. =)
Glad you liked my reviews, I'll stop by later to give some more. For the Mudblood is kind of in the crossroads, I have loads of written material for it, but I'm just not sure if I'm taking it in the right direction. I'll try to update it as soon as possible.
This was quite emotional to write, so in a way I'm glad that it evokes same feelings in you as it did in me when I wrote it.
Sirius's fate was one of the things that was hardest for me to understand in canon. I love his character, to me he will always be the ultimate Gryffie. =)
I'm glad you liked it and thank you for the review! See you soon again. =) Report Review
Here for Review Tag!
Ah, I liked this story. It definitely wasn't the typical Halloween story, but I quite enjoyed it. Your take on Sirius and his hunt for Pettigrew was nice. I liked how you wrote Sirius going to visit the Potter's house before going to Hogwarts. That was thoughtful. I liked the throw in of a slytherin-carved pumpkin - definitely a good Halloween touch. The scene where Sirius corners Pettigrew and Peeves barges in was cool. The ending was quite sweet as well, showing Sirius' grief for his best friend and love for his best friend's son.
All in all, this was a well-written fic, and I quite liked it. Good work!
(AditiDraco95)Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for the review!
I have never before written a fic with a holiday theme, so this was quite fun to do. =)
I'm really glad you liked it, older Sirius is much more fascinating to write about than him in Marauders era. Although I do have plot bunny for that too... Report Review
I love this! Very very good story! =D Great how you make the stories fact connect =)Author's Response: Hi and thanks for the review! I'm really glad you like it. =) Report Review
Here from review tag!!
It's a bit of a funny coincidence that I'm reading a Halloween-type fic when it is in fact Halloween today (if you believe in that sort of thing. I personally don't believe in Halloween, but anyway...).
I liked the way you wrote Sirius - his anger and pain was so realistic and you could really feel all the emotion in this piece. It was very well written, and you didn't let all the strong feelings distract you from characterising Sirius realistically, and neither did you write these huge angst-y long paragraphs. It was a lovely mix.
I could imagine the scene so well, which means your descriptions were great!
A really interesting, lovely read. :)
-LWGAuthor's Response: Hi and thanks for the review! =)
It's not coincidence, it's fate. =P Well really, I'm glad you liked it and my Sirius. I'm not very good with angsty stuff, so that might explain why there's not long parts of that. Report Review
This is wonderful!! It's really well written and a nice change from the typical Halloween fics.
I really liked your characterisation of Sirius. I loved how extreme his emotions were. From hating Peter to caring extremely deeply for Harry. It was really well done.
If I had one suggestion to make, it would be to watch your sentence length. The first sentence in particular was too long and became hard to follow.
Other than that however, this story was really really well done. I enjoyed reading it :DAuthor's Response: Hi! Thanks for the review!
I'm glad you enjoyed it. Originally I was trying to write a Marauders era fic, but Sirius decided that he wouldn't co-operate if I didn't write him bit differently. So this was a result. =)
Thanks for noticing it, I'll keep it in mind in the future. Report Review
Wowzas!!! I loved it! It was a great explanation of what Sirius was doing in Hogwarts that night. Typical or not, I loved this story.Author's Response: Thank you. Glad you liked it. =)
Thank you for your review! Report Review
Hello, it's me again. :P
Anyway - I thought this fic was fantastic. Sirius is perfectly in character here, and his sadness and anger about everything that's been taken away from him is absolutely heartbreaking, especially when you've contrasted Peter getting fat with the situations of the other Marauders. That's pretty intense, and it suits the human emotional rollercoaster that is Sirius Black perfectly.
I also really liked your use of visuals - the settings are wonderfully vivid here, and it's really pretty, while also bringing the reader right into Sirius' situation.
I can't wait to see the edited version even though I'm the one who betaread it... because I'm arrogant. XD
Good luck with your challenge, too! :3Author's Response: Well, hello again! =)
I'm really glad you liked it. Sirius is quite an interesting character to write, especially after his stint in Azkaban. He's so easy to just write as a regular teenage bad boy, but as an adult he's much more challenging.
Thanks for your help with betareading. It was very nice of you. =)
Thank you for the review! Report Review
Wow, this was very haunting yet good. I enjoyed Sirius' point of view of trying to catch Wormtail.
Keep up the great work.
From the review tag,
-AsphodelAuthor's Response: Thank you for your review!
It was fun to spin the story from Sirius's point of view for a change. =) Report Review
This was a really good one-shot! I've never seen a fic about Sirius on Halloween, so kudos for originality!
I think you really got Sirius' personality but I felt like a lot of the dialogue was very formal. I don't think Sirius would have been very polite when he ripped the Fat Lady's portrait up, so that may be a thing to work on. :)
Also, you said that he apparated to the Shrieking Shack. But the Shrieking Shack was a part of Hogwarts, and in Hogwarts you can't apparate or disapparate. Also, I don't think Sirius had a wand, his wand would have been taken off him when he went to Azkaban. Unless he did have a wand in the books, then feel free to ignore me if that's the case! :p
Other than that, it was a really good one-shot and I really enjoyed reading it! Good job! :DAuthor's Response: Hi and thank you for the review! =)
The Shrieking Shack is actually in Hogsmeade, so apparating there shouldn't be a problem for wizards and since Sirius spent so much time in there during his teenage years, it's more than likely that he could apparate there because of his memories.
There's no canon information about what happened to Sirius's wand. I thought about this issue while writing the one-shot and decided that since he had almost three months after his escape from Azkaban (before this fic begins), he had plenty of time to acquire some kind of wand for himself. He was quite bright after all.
Thanks for reading it. Glad you enjoyed it! =) Report Review
Hello! I'm stopping by from Review Tag :)
I really loved the emotion in this piece. I think the line about how Peter was just getting fat while his friends struggled to survive really hit me the hardest. I do think it would take an especially selfish person to knowingly live that way, and you've characterized that well with Sirius's emotion. The whole first part, too, at the Potters' destroyed home--the emotion was so tangible. I loved how you described Sirius's fingers as trembling when he picked up the family photo. I could really feel that he was a broken man there.
One little critique--I think this could do with another round of proofreading. For the most part, you're fine, but sometimes the flow is a bit jerky because of awkward phrasing or missing or incorrectly used words. You could try having a friend read over it and beta it for you, if you like.
All in all, I think this was a neat look into the events of that infamous Halloween night, and I liked how you tied together the Halloween that Lily and James died and the present one in third year. Very nice work! :)
-AmandaAuthor's Response: Hi and thank you for the review!
It was rather emotional to write as well. So I'm glad that it comes through. =)
I agree that it needs some proofreading. I'm in a process of trying to find beta for this one-shot. Hopefully I'll get it fixed soon.
It was fun to write an Hogwarts era story for a change. Glad you liked it! =) Report Review
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