"I have no idea what it's supposed to mean and won't pretend otherwise."
...don't you? Can't you see that in this story, the meaning of what happens to cookies after they get absolutely burned to crisp is carefully contained within a feeble cage of glass hovering on the staggering, unbelievable verge of being free and being able to fly away in the wind like any other ordinary HPFF chapter in the archives. Cause clearly that's what happens. Chapters fly, fly away into the wind after being validated. Except no. They cumbersomely circumnavigate elsewhere on resplendent wings of metaphorical prose that made me absolutely die of laughter and really rather made me want to hug you.
No, I really have no idea what I just said. i think I managed to confuse myself in a horrible attempt at prose. I think it went something along the lines of "this is so super duper amazing, and omg I just about died of laughter."
Yes. I think that might have been it.
Althoguh really, I absolutely love you for writing this. When I look at this quite literally, it seems more like someone is following someone through vivid and nonsense like imagery. I'd like to add I would be perfectly happy without said person following me through vivid prose. I love, love, love, love, love the language you used though. I have no idea how you think of such things. Some of it is just so, so beautiful that whether I like it or not I have to imagine it. And really, at some parts, I'm really rather okay without imagining it. I loved it. Bottom line. Loved it. Forgive the typos
-WistfulAuthor's Response: Bahahaha! That was an extremely epic explanation.
I wrote this as a result of frustration at seeing so many stream-of-consciousness stories on HPFF that look pretty but make no sense. And they have fooled readers into believing that ambiguity = genius. They give the extraneous descriptions that have nothing to do with the plot too much credit because they /assume/ it's good. That's what happens. Confusion breeds assumption, which lends the author the benefit of the doubt. Beautiful descriptions, but essentially meaningless when you dissect them.
This is probably making no sense.
Regardless, it was fun to parody SoC and imagery-heavy writing that's basically glorified nonsense, and I'm glad you enjoyed reading it! Thank you for your review. :)
- Sarah Report Review
What painfully purple prose is this? Doth thou raiseth forth the spirits of all great authors against your noble self in rage for the crimes you've dared committed against the English tongue? From the mixed metaphors to the hilariously-chosen brackets, this was indeed a work of true brilliance, unlike any other ... and I desperately hope it remains that way. :P
I'm glad that you don't know what went on in this story - it makes two of us. The prose is certainly thick, but it was fun to pick out the jokes, be they the more obvious one-liners like "hot, hot Amazon" (that one killed me with laughter) or the sneakier metaphors and imagery. There was an awful lot of dirt, refuse, and oddly disturbing descriptions that produced a wonderfully ironic effect. Butterfly wings caressing one's cuticles? It's just so creepy! If this character was coming after me, I'd run as fast as I could, too.
What's sad is that there were images that I really liked, such as the goosebumps as Braille one. On its own, it's clever - something I'd like to use. That's what gets me about this story: I've written this way, hopefully not quite to this extent. It's a big temptation to make a story sound "poetic", flooding it with images and words just because its "cool" or "pretty". But it has to be measured, with a consistent, limited set of images and a clear focus on the subject matter, no running away with words for the heck of it.
This story was fun to read, but also thought-provoking. Style really has an important place in a story - it can make or break it, no matter what kind of plot or characters it contains. What Rachel said about "making intelligent fun of something" is the perfect way to describe what you've done here. You always come up with the best things!Author's Response: Hahaha, thank you for dropping by to read this extremely purple prose! This one-shot was the result of my annoyance at overly-stylistic stories that are full of pretty words but actually make very little sense. TenthWeasley puts it best when she says: "Too-thick imagery does not mean amazing writing" - but there seems to be something of a trend where extremely ambiguous, metaphor-laden things fool readers into believing they are secretly more meaningful than they really are. In reality, the author just threw a lot of nice-sounding words together in a way that doesn't totally make sense, but readers 'interpret it in their own way' - meaning that the author had no idea what the hell he/she was doing and hopes the readers will just assume. /end rant.
I'm poking a little bit of fun at myself, too, because I've written my fair share of purple prose. I've got a one-shot called "Silhouettes" that makes me gag whenever I reread it. So imagery is one of those things you have to measure carefully, and use it when it fits and elaborates on the scene rather than mucks it up with confusing tangents. I'm learning not to abuse it just for the sake of trying to make readers 'ooh' and 'aah'.
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My entire soul has been changed upon reading this one-shot. It is like you have painted a marvelous mural in colors I have never seen before. I was a glass that was only half-filled with chocolate milk but then a toddler came along and spilled me and now I am free to be the bane of someone's existence and hang about on linoleum and make people's shoes sticky.
I cried dragon tears (which, as we all know, turn into jellybeans), this is the most beautiful story to ever be storied. Is this what love is like? This is what love is like. When I fall in love I will paint my lips with cherry blossoms and marry a whale-prince and cause all sorts of brouhahas.
In all seriousness, this is one of the best parodies I've ever had the good great fortune to read. Only you could have pulled this off and the best part is, you still write some of the best imagery I've ever read, you wonderful thing. :D You have a knack for making intelligent fun of something, and I am just rolling on the floor right now. I read some of this out loud to my roommate, and she didn't get it, but this is the literal best.
Also, you made me cry from laughter in mass comm when a television-as-the-human-conscience discussion was on the screen. That is all.
♥Author's Response: It is only natural that this has forever changed you. If it were not for the fact that I am the best writer in the entire universe, I imagine that I would have been affected, as well. But alas, I am a goddess among puny mortals and as such cannot be surprised by the way my magnificent writing turned your orbs into crystal balls like Christmas ornaments swinging to and fro in a dusty attic, waiting for winter's carols to sing it to sleep~ ~ ~
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all I can say is that I love you to the ends of the earth for writing this and I am cackling here
funny thing is you could probably post this to livejournal and people would LOVE it
also I lost it at 'prince of whales'
finally: you are an unwashed jar. but a magnificent unwashed jar.
♥Author's Response: Dear Julia,
There be-ith no pepper as sweet as sweetened pepper. The splenda in the spice, the em-dash of seasoning in scrolls and scrolls of exhausted ink. My soul withers, the shoes no longer tie themselves. Clouds are stuck in chimneys. Salt, smog, pepper. Black peppery dust in an unwashed jar.
Prince of whales lololol, I did that just for you.
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