Reading Reviews for Not Normal
  
264 Reviews Found

Review #1, by AdinaPuff {Chapter the Sixth}

30th July 2014:
Hi!

Oh my gosh. Ellie is so amazing. She cracks me up.

And gee, can Albus get any more attractive, with the constant questions and smirks, and teasing. Just holy crap.

And Reg tho. Like he's just so funny. I love his character. He's so far my favorite character. Well, him and Al. Al and Reg are actually my two favorite characters to read fanfics about.

So naturally, of course, I'm in love with this. LIKE SERIOUSLY THO HOMIE. I'm dying for another chapter. Now. Please. Thank you.

And d'aw at scorpius's blushing. So adorable. I love how real you make it seem, with him blushing. It's not believable when a character is all cool about asking someone out. Well, it is, but it's obvious that nothing is going to happen in the end. But I feel a ScoRose coming on. It's gonna be weaved into the plot. I FEEL IT.

Or, I could be completely off. Either one. I still love this story :D

So, yeah. Update soon, find your muse, and enjoy yourself while you write this. :)

TTYL

-Leigh

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Review #2, by AdinaPuff {Chapter the First}

30th July 2014:
Hi!

Sorry for such a wait--life can be a drag. But I'm here now, and that's what counts. Right? (Here's where you say right)

Anyways.

I am LOVING this so far. Like holy crap, I'm definitely going to be reading on through the other five chapters. I love the family and friend scenario you've set up, what with she and Chris being close twins, and Ellie despising Albus. And of course, she's friends with Rose. Rose seems like a handful. But I'm a good way! She seems like one of those kind of wild friends. Though I could be completely misinterpreting that, too.

Her gift is quite creepy, but I like it. I think it's neat, being that only she and a select few others can see them. And Chris being a musician? I love it.

Great job! I love it.

-Leigh

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Review #3, by DoctorUnderwood {Chapter the Sixth}

30th July 2014:
Wow! What a great story! I can't wait to read the rest of this story. I love how it's quite humorous, but with a more dark/serious undertone.

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Review #4, by simplelullaby {Chapter the First}

30th July 2014:
Hiya, it's simplelullaby from the review forums here for your review. I know you said take it apart, but there's not much to tear apart! Seriously, this is pretty brilliant.
Okay, onto your review

Technical:

Wee typo "ThankFlamel" instead of "Thank Flamel."

"meaning that the Healers had barely designed a cure for one strain THAT another popped up." Maybe change that to WHEN?

"making a mental note not to drink the orange juice.Brahe only knew what kinds" Space before starting a new sentence. Also, what or who is Brahe? :p

"I'd given the first book a go, and from what I'd read, that was about the extent of action the hero was getting, getting squashed into Rose's bosom." Maybe use another word instead of getting? Was a bit confusing.

Characterisation:

You do very well with characterisation. In just a few words you manage to make your characters REAL. Ellie is brilliant, you make both versions (5 and 17) subtly different, but similar enough to still be the same person. Going really nitpicky, maybe add a little more description of her physical appearance? You say she and Chris are twins, but there's no description of either one. Are the similar in looks, or different?

Chris is also brilliant. I like you that you introduce him subtly and easily, with no big block text at the beginning. You pepper his introduction throughout the entire chapter, adding bits here and there as Ellie remembers them. He is an unimposing yet as the chapter ends he's very necessary, both in linking the Potters and the Andersons in Chris' friendship with Albus, while still allowing Ellie to hate him. If Chris wasn't there, there wouldn't be anything like that, so brilliant! I literally cannot think of any notes for him, except from the same as Ellie.

I always have a soft spot for minor characters, and your description of their dad is brilliant! His scatter-brained, speaking in different languages (I really want to know what the Finnish Fiasco was, like a whole chapter dedicated to just that :P). Your description of him trying to float away with their mother was really heartbreaking. Don't do stuff like that in first chapters, man! (joking, it was brilliant).

Albus' character is pretty great, though the way he's introduced confused me a little bit. Maybe have a little description of him entering first, and then his dialogue, instead of the other way around. I know he was meant to pop out of nowhere, but it was still a wee bit confusing for ma' tiny wee brain. Maybe have his entrance a little more like Rose's, cause that one was great. I like that you just introduced two of the Wotters instead of the whole brood, because that would've been a little bit of overload. Your physical descriptions of both Albus and Rose are great, with emphasis on Albus'. His physical description was probably the best of the chapter. Rose's personality is brilliant, I love that she unashamedly believes in Divination despite her Ravenclaw roots. Brilliant!

Plot:

It's great (sorry!). It flows well, there's a great balance of dialogue and description, and you never overstay your welcome on certain parts.

One part to maybe look at is the "I too ended up at the tree at the back of the Potter's backyard." It was a little confusing and took me a while to understand that you were describing their first meeting. As a whole, your transitions to the next part of the story are a little shaky (to be honest I only really noticed this because the rest of it was so strong), though once you get into the next part it gets great again. Maybe look at those parts, pad them a bit with Ellie's internal monologue, a little description and the like.

As a first chapter it works very well. You don't waste any time in getting straight to the point, your first line states that she see's dead people (sixth sense moment, perchance?), immediately setting your story apart from the rest. It grabs the reader and makes them immediately want to move on (I'm itching to hit the next chapter button sooo much).

Setting: You don't really mention setting as much as the rest, but saying that only a little more is needed to make it good. Maybe add a few details here and there to make the scene a little more well rounded, and you'll be golden.

Overall: I love it (have I mentioned that before?) It's a unique idea, executed well, obviously planned out and thought about beforehand. You've spent time developing your characters and it shows. Just a few tweaks, a little more setting description here and there and it'll be amazing.

Hope you liked my review, though I feel I may have failed miserably at tearing your story to pieces :( Feel free to rerequest if you feel so inclined.

Keep Writing

~Aimee~

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Review #5, by DoctorUnderwood {Chapter the First}

29th July 2014:
"I eyed his chest suspiciously, wondering if he was still in possession of both his nipples." This has got to be the funniest chapter in fan fiction, perhaps even literature.

But on a serious note, I greatly enjoyed this chapter. It has a lot of potential and I'm interested to see where you take it. Count me in for the rest of the story!

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Review #6, by mymischiefmanaged {Chapter the First}

29th July 2014:
Hiya,

I'm here from the forums with your requested review.

Okay, first sentence is fab. You immediately give us something interesting about your main character and bring us straight into a clearly strong plot so I love that.

It's lovely having her great-grandmother explaining things to her and you get the childlike voice perfectly. I'm a big fan of stories with twins so I'm looking forward to seeing more of her and Chris together.

The Great Magical Flu epidemic is an original idea and it's sweet seeing their Dad trying to manage his job alongside being a single parents. The forgetting which language to speak encapsulates this cleverly.

I'm enjoying seeing an arrogant Albus. Most people (myself included) write him as a more steady character than James so it's really interesting to see him written this way. I'm anticipating some drama as a result of Al and Chris being best friends later on in the story.

I like what we've seen of Rose so far, and the fortune teller was a good way to kick off the main plot. Also the cake sense made me laugh out loud.

The only criticism I'd have is that the pacing seems a bit off for a first chapter. You seem torn between giving us as much back story as possible and going in for fast paced dialogue to get the plot moving and introduce the characters.

I'd be tempted to split this into a prologue and a chapter one. The prologue could begin with Ellie and Chris in the graveyard, explain their Mother's death and Ellie's skill, and finish with them returning home to their father. Then Chapter One could be the funny, snappy dialogue, introduce Al and Rose and go into the fortune telling. I think it would make it a bit easier to read and would make your writing style feel more consistent, but this is just a personal opinion.

I really enjoyed this chapter anyway. Feel free to re-request for future chapters.

Emma x

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Review #7, by marauderfan {Chapter the Sixth}

26th July 2014:
Review Tag!

Aaaahh a new chapter! Most exciting thing ever.

Haha, Ellie trying to point out a Ravenclaw at the Ravenclaw table. It's like when you're trying to subtly point something out to someone by nodding your head and they don't get it and you have to point anyway. The worst.

Ghost boyfriend! Ellie's ghost-stalking is such a neat talent. I'm really excited to read more about it :P

Wouldn't life be just that much easier if things were marked with titles like THIS WAY TO SECRET PASSAGE ?? That'd be really helpful.

Mmm, dead skin cells from the Renaissance. Just what everyone wants to inhale. Ooh, she found the passage! She could totally sign up for Indiana Jones' next artifact raiding/adventuring expedition.

Hogwarts is made of basalt? Omg the passage probably leads into an old, extinct volcano full of ghosts. Hooray for persistence though, she found it. I liked that scene though, how it wasn't just like she looked and there it was, there was quite the process involved in finding it!

flattened woodchips covered in ink and bound in the hide of a dead animal. -- Hahahah... I love the way Ellie sees/rephrases the world. I will never think of books again the same way.

Why all the violent awakenings, homies? -- What I will say when I wake up all the time from now on.

Deep-ocean trench bioluminescence is the coolest. Also I love that Ellie can recognise rock types and incorporates that into her narration, haha! And sees copper chloride rather than thinking "ooh that's a cool flame". She certainly sees the world in a different way.

Well, I have no idea what just happened, as I doubt Ellie really knows either. But there's a secret passage in the library! And it's full of copper chloride and limestone and creepy statues! And she like, left the door open when she went back to her bed. Is someone going to notice? :P

Wow, also I'm sorry that this review is literally nothing but a stream of consciousness ramble as I read the chapter. Anyway, it was a great chapter! I am so curious to find out more about the hidden room, and about the ghost finding, and just anything else Ellie says because it's all brilliant.

Great job on this chapter!

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Review #8, by lexiatel {Chapter the First}

6th July 2014:
Wow, that was unexpected, them living next to the Potters!

This was my favorite line: I went vegetarian for six months after that.

I think all little girls do this once in their life, lol

I love Albus' character, it's new to me, usually he's always sweet. I love his arrogance, totally worth reading, lol.

Rated it a 9/10.

House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Everyone must go vegetarian at some point for some time in their lives, if only for the novelty. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter - especially Albus since he can annoying to write from time to time!

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Review #9, by TidalDragon {Chapter the Sixth}

27th June 2014:
Howdy! It has been awhile!

Starting with the questions you specifically asked, I think "fit" is fine, in any sense you might have meant that. The characterization of Ellie remained consistent on that front and as far as the plot is concerned, the content of the chapter seemed to mesh with advancing it throughout the chapters entirety. As far as flow, things moved naturally from scene to scene.

I think plot development was somewhat of a mixed bag. Certainly this chapter developed the plot in a substantial way, but without revealing everything. At the same time though, I thought Ellie's exploration of the crack and what lies behind it was too hurried. When confronted with a potentially dangerous place that one has never before encountered, I imagine an explorer being much more cautious and noticing more detail than Ellie did. In hurrying to the room with the statues and the flame, I think there was a missed opportunity to get very descriptive and really put us inside the initial area, which I think would have either dovetailed or contrasted (depending on how you view the two areas) very nicely with the more detailed description you gave of the final room.

A few more minor things jumped out at me from the rest of the chapter. First, there was distinct segment that read like a hit-parade of Muggle items/references. I recall that Ellie has a Muggle parent, but this again seemed excessive and was definitely noticeable. Second was her profanity. None of it struck me as particularly necessary or impactful, which (at least in my humble opinion) profanity should be if it is going to be used. The same sentiments or emotions can be conveyed without it, often in a stronger way because it actually forces you to rely on description of appearance and demeanor and/or dialogue tags and delivery to convey the message. Just a thought.

Hope you found the review helpful! I'm glad to see you're posting again after a bit of a break!

Author's Response: It has, indeed! Exhibit A of my lazy and sporadic updates!

I'm glad that you find the chapter to still "fit". It was my biggest concern with this chapter, since it had been so long since I'd updated. Consistency is important at this point since there's not too great a difference numerically between chapters 1 and 6.

I completely and utterly understand where you're coming from with the pacing for Ellie's exploration. It took me a really long time to write this scene because I kept restarting as something always felt off about it. You've hit the nail on the head, I think. With your words in mind, I read the scene again, and I you have a point. Something to work on, for sure!

Again, I think you've hit the nail on the head. Sometimes, I go a bit overboard with Ellie and her characterisation. I can get a little zealous in flaunting these two traits of hers: her weird fascination for muggle pop culture and profanity. I'm already editing this chapter, so I'll add your notes to my "list of things to look into".

Thank you so much for this review! Your reviews are always so critical and it is AMAZING. I always find myself looking at the story in a different way :)


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Review #10, by The_Crookshanks_Saga {Chapter the Sixth}

26th June 2014:
And your last review!

I am so happy I got a chance to read this. You have absolutely no idea how incredible it is. The humor and the sardonic satire fit in perfectly, and I totally ship Albie.

And now, for the answer you've been waiting for: in your request, you asked if this story will still hold interest. The answer is a staunch yes. It has all the things you'd love in a good fic- like Ginny_RED-_Potter and dream_BIG's, this story is timeless. Until next time!

-Meena

Author's Response: Goodness me. You're killing me with your niceness. I'm going to go to sleep tonight, and find that I cannot get out of bed tomorrow morning because my ego has inflated the size of my head to gargantuan proportions.

But seriously, you're so very sweet. Your feedback has been so lovely and constructive and I just - ugh. My feels. I'm so very glad for your reviews :D


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Review #11, by The_Crookshanks_Saga {Chapter the Third}

26th June 2014:
Hi, it's you-know-who with you-know-what! (Voldy with STDs)

Okay, so another brilliant chapter. I liked how you weren't afraid to cast someone who had to repeat a year in a good light. Most people don't do stuff like that, and it's refreshing to be reminded that wizards are human too.

One thing I didn't like- between the train scene and the Great Hall, there was only a 3-line break (Nazi time!). I didn't catch the break to be monumental and wrote it off as am error, and next thing I knew- BAM straight at least 6hour time gap. It just would be nice if one day you took the time to make the gap a bit bigger or put the lines.

And... that's about it! Until next time!

-Meena

Author's Response: OMG LAUGHING SO HARD. I'm going to start using that in my everyday vernacular now. That is just too brilliant.

Wizards are humans too! And I'm sure not all of them do as well as they would've liked in their OWLs. I wanted to write a character who wanted to try harder, and not be bitter about it: thus, Ben. Also, he's just an amazing person anyway.

Goodness. That scene switch will be the death of me. I gave my poor beta so much grief over it! I have another version of it in my drafts which may or may not work better.

Thanks for the lovely review!


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Review #12, by The_Crookshanks_Saga {Chapter the Second}

26th June 2014:
Hi, this is The_Crookshanks_Saga, here with another review for the request!

From now on, I won't be reviewing every single one of the chapters, if that's okay with you- I just don't have that kind of time. Anyways, you were worried if after six months, the story would still hold interest- yes, it has, does, and will. The flow of your story is so natural I doubt even a century could destroy it ;).

I honestly can't think of anything off about this chapter, but I try my best to always think of something, except that I'm pretty sure Regulus Black wasn't fifteen or sixteen when he died. But overall, this chapter was breathtaking and I loved it.

-Meena

Author's Response: That is completely fine if you don't review every single chapter. They're super long, and I understand that there's not always a lot of different things to say about each chapter, especially if one reads them back to back. Your feedback has been wonderful!

*blushes* Aww! You're too kind! Seriously, I'm just a pool of giddiness and giggles right now *smiles shyly and gives hugs*

Regulus Black wasn't fifteen or sixteen when he died, that is indeed correct. Future plot point about which I cannot reveal more right now, but is totally relevant!

Thanks for the once again lovely review :)


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Review #13, by The_Crookshanks_Saga {Chapter the First}

26th June 2014:
Hi, itís The_Crookshanks_Saga, here with your requested reviews!

The beginning had me (by the way, love the chap. summaries). Beautiful writing, you had the perfect mix of humor and something more. The balance between showing and telling is also perfect. There are a few spelling/grammar mistakes here and there, but overall they donít interrupt the flow of the stories.

I love the way her great-gran explained to Ellie exactly what was special about her. It was clear and ambiguous at the same time, and left us wanting more explanation- and more reason to continue reading. This reminds me a bit of the Mediator series by Meg Cabot (if you havenít read it, donít- until youíve finished this brilliant story).

If thereís one thing I didnít like about this chapter, its the unnecessary paragraphs added in for punchlines. I know many fanfic authors use them, but they seem like a cheap trick if not used properly. Here is an example.

'Whilst I had a gift for seeing dead people, Christian had the gift of music.

Guess which one of us got the better end of the stick?í

or

'You know your life ainít normal when you can see dead people.

No, Iím not kidding.

Yes, I am sane.

For the most part.í

It sounds good, with those pauses, but it takes away from the flow of the story. It also makes it hard for the next transition to feel natural. Instead, you could say something like this. ďYou know your life ainít normal when you can see dead people- and no, Iím not kidding, yes, I am sane- well, for the most part.Ē Or something like that.

The scene where Chris and Ellie stand over their motherís grave was written beautifully. It was such a contrast to the earlier humor, and will definitely draw readers in.

At first, the explanation for why Ellie hated Albus seemed a bit cliched, though the banter cleared that up immediately. Still, you might want to revise that a bit.

(his lack of shirt, I mean, not his lack of nipples): made me laugh. I like that about your sense of humor- itís the small things, hidden in gaping crevices. Not a gigantic, in your face joke.

Another thing- somewhere in the bookshop scene, you mentioned an ĎAmyí. Who, exactly, is this? You didnít mention her before (I sound like a jealous girlfriend:])

'I was legit not kidding. On top of the whole dead people thing, I always knew when there was a cake in the room, or if there was one arriving shortly, without the use of my mundane senses. I could tell when someone was about to bake a cake, right down to what type, and had a ninety-nine per cent success rate at knowing a personís favourite cake. The skill extended to a certain degree to include cupcakes and muffins as well. On a good day, I could even sense tarts. original and hilarious. On a good day, I could even sense tarts?' I cracked up.

The ending line was perfect- 'Now that was creepy'. Like seeing dead people isnít.

Basically, I am extremely glad you requested a review, because otherwise this wonderful story would have probably escaped my notice. Until next time!

-Meena

Author's Response: Hello! I'm so sorry for the late reply!

Oh, I'm glad you enjoyed the beginning. Since they're rather important, they're also one of the most difficult things to write. And I'm so happy that there was a good balance between show/tell!

I'm pleased that there was still some mystery left after great-gran's explanation. At times, I felt as if I was doing a huge info dump, but I didn't know how else to get this rather necessary information across.

I completely understand where you're coming from with the one-sentence paragraph punchlines. I don't want to excuse my writing here, but I think it's a mark of how far I still have to go with it. This chapter is one of my earlier pieces, and it probably shows the most in these lines. I don't know if I should get rid of them in this chapter, or keep them here as reminder of how much I still have to learn, and not include them later on. Thanks for pointing that out!

Gosh. The reason Ellie doesn't like Albus is so cliche isn't it? It's hard coming up with a legitimate reason, but it's definitely a weak point for this story. Hopefully, I can address it!

Amy is introduced in chapter 2 - another mark of lazy writing!

I'm so happy you found those bits funny! I don't want to write straight-up comedy, but I still want things to be funny, so I'm very happy that you thought of it that way!

And yes, Ellie has very strange standards of creepiness, which is necessary if she doesn't want her "gift" to drive her insane :P

Thanks so much for this lovely and helpful review :)


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Review #14, by crestwood {Chapter the Sixth}

25th June 2014:
In your requested review, you asked whether this chapter still holds interest when compared to the rest of the story and the answer to that is a pretty firm yes. It's, of course, very different from the rest, but only because it increases the stakes of all of the strange things that happen to Ellie.

I thought the discovery of the passageway was an interesting thing to read for sure. Occasionally I'd get a tad bit confused about what exactly was occurring, but after a quick reread that was always cleared up. The flow is nice, especially for a chapter that's essentially one scene throughout. All in all, really interesting so far. Thank you for the request and the chance to read this wonderful story!

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm really, really happy that you find the story to still be interesting. I was worried because, as you said, it's different from the rest.

Goodness! The flow almost killed me in this chapter! And also how to make this essentially one super long scene interesting - so glad that it worked :D Thanks so much for all the lovely reviews!


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Review #15, by crestwood {Chapter the Fifth}

25th June 2014:
This is my favorite chapter so far, for sure. I'm a little bias to Scorpius, so I'm really glad we got a full chapter to just have a good conversation between him and Ellie. There may not have been any exciting action or big scenes, but Scorpius is going to ask Rose out and all of the characters are quite dear to me, so I'm very pleased with this chapter :)

Author's Response: I have a soft spot for Scorpius as well, and I just loved writing him as this slightly dorky individual. His and Ellie's relationship is really cute - I see them as sort of brother and sister, and that's a lot of fun to write. I'm so happy that you feel really connected with all these characters already!

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Review #16, by crestwood {Chapter the Fourth}

25th June 2014:
Ellie's power really is a genius plot device. It creates such awkward situations and the three sided argument, in which Albus is in the dark, was beautifully written. Regulus is absolutely hilarious still! I wonder if Albus just foreshadowed finding out about what Ellie can see...I hope so! It'd probably make her feel less crazy to have someone know about it. This is shaping up to be such a clever read!

Author's Response: Her powers make an already awkward person even more awkward. Albus is just so clueless for such a long time, and he kind of feels it, so he's being a bit annoying as a result. And Regulus is fun to write, as always! And with Albus - maybe...

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Review #17, by crestwood {Chapter the Third}

25th June 2014:
I think Ben is my new favorite character. These OCs are all very fleshed out pretty quickly. It's mostly done through dialogue rather than just telling us simply what they're like, which I appreciate. Overall, this is just a really interesting chapter and it's not terribly like anything else I've read on this site, which is always refreshing.

Author's Response: Yay! Ben is one of my favourites as well, and I'm so happy that someone else likes him too! I always feel as if I'm rushing the characterisation, so I'm happy that it doesn't read that way!

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Review #18, by crestwood {Chapter the Second}

25th June 2014:
I've never read a story with Regulus as a character before (dead or not,) but I found him pretty funny here. I wasn't expecting to have another display of Ellie's power so soon. I wonder what Regulus was there for. He almost seemed to just be messing with her. I want to see where you're going to take this because it feels as though something is going to happen soon but I have no idea what. Good writing style so far!

Author's Response: All the stories with Regulus that I have read have had him alive and not funny, so I wanted to write a version of Regulus where he was funny, but unfortunately that meant that he also had to be dead, which is a little sad for poor Regulus. I wanted to introduce her ghost-seeing powers pretty early so that it didn't feel as if they come out of nowhere if they appear for the first time later on. And you're right - Regulus is continuously messing with her. It's part of his charm ;P

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Review #19, by crestwood {Chapter the First}

25th June 2014:
Hey! crestwood here with your requested review :)

So, I like Ellie a lot as an OC. She's wonderfully sarcastic and her ghost power is really interesting. The back story of her dad losing his wife was actually very poignant for being about two people I have yet to really meet fully.

I'd love to see more of the banter between Ellie and Albus, that was my favorite part of the chapter. They are like those two actors in a film that just absolutely light up the screen with their chemistry, except it's all happening in my head. Very promising start!

Author's Response: Heya!

I'm glad that you like Ellie. This story is very much driven by her, since it's written in first person from her point of view; it would be difficult to read if one found her super annoying! And her parents' love story... you learn more about it, so it's great that you already feel this connection with it!

There is more banter to come! It was very annoying to write at times, but it is there! Thanks so much :)


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Review #20, by Lululuna {Chapter the Sixth}

24th June 2014:
Hello! :)

Ahh, this was such a good chapter and so eventful! More than that, though, I think it was written very smoothly and flowed so well without getting trapped in one particular spot. Well done! :)

It's so exciting to see Ellie's ghost-hunting in action, and I'm excited to learn more about Alexia and her ghost boyfriend and how Ellie operates when helping people. It's interesting to see how her talent actually impacts her daily life but also shows her to be a very caring person. I also loved the banter with Ben and how sassy he was, it definitely stood out in the chapter.

You described the secret room and all of that so vividly, I definitely felt like I was there peeking over Ellie's shoulder, getting hot and frustrated with the shelves, and running away from the foreboding feeling of the statues. I wonder if someone was following her, or if perhaps there was a malevolent ghost there in the room with her? The playful actions of the Hogwarts crest on the walls were so cute as well - loved the boop.

Throughout the chapter, Ellie's inner commentary was so refreshing and fun to listen to. I liked so many bits, but a few favourites were when she punched the wall so suddenly, when she found books of all things in the first chamber of the secret room, and when she was embarrased about pretending to do a number two in public. You do a great job of blending in the fun and humour with the more serious parts of the characters, and I really admire that.

Amazing chapter, my dear! :D

Author's Response: I was so happy to write stuff happening plot wise, that I think I went a little crazy with it! I'm very happy to hear that you found it smoothly written, because that was something with which I struggled.

I can't wait to write about Alexia and her ghost boyfriend, because you're right - it's a great way to see Ellie interact with people. She seems to think she's not very good at it, and that should make for a fun few scenes! And yeah, she is caring, although I don't think she quite realises it. And Ben is the best, all the time.

Ah, the mysterious crash and bang! Mysteries abound *giggles maniacally* And I'm glad you liked the boop! Snakes are too serious sometimes - they deserve a little fun every now and again :P

I'm really happy Ellie is still entertaining. She reads as a little... farcical sometimes to me, and I don't want that for her, so I'm very happy indeed with this feedback!

Thanks so much for reading and leaving such a wonderful review as always :D


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Review #21, by Sakura9879 {Chapter the Sixth}

23rd June 2014:
First of all I would like to say that I have waited for this story to be updated since the beginning, and I was even starting to lose hope that it would be finished.

"Lucky for me", I thought, "I find another fantastic author who has issues with updating on a regular basis!"

Despite my frustrations with the updating speed of the story, there is no denying that this was a great chapter! I'm psyched to learn more about the secret gap in the wall, and all the mystery that it brings.

I really liked how this chapter cut straight to the point of what everyone was wondering about. You didn't go three chapters waiting for our main character to work up the courage to explore the gap, you dove right in, which is something else that I have to thank you for.

You also set up the story to further develop the ghost situation part of the plot, Which is definitely something that needs to be maintained.

I also have a few suggestions if you don't mind my pushiness.
1. I really like the witty banter that occurs with Regulus, and I think that he should be included in the story more.
2. So far, Albus really just annoys me, which I guess is good because it means I have sympathy for Ellie, but it almost makes me want to hex him. Which is an issue because that is decidedly not something I am capable of because a. he is a fictional character and b. I am not a witch.

There are also things that I question because you skimmed over them just a tad. I repeat. Just a tad. They could be insignificant and I am just an ignorant person who was unaware of their woeful insignificance.
1. Who is in the picture that Ellie accidentally knocks off the wall? Is this currently unisexual, mystery IT going to be important?
2. What was the distant crash that Ellie heard at the end? Was it possibly someone who was watching her actions? (although at this point that is a slim to none possibility since no one except her room mates could possibly have noticed that she went missing.
3. Ellie mentions that one of the rollers gave out and that was why the gap appeared. Could it be because someone was in the secret area recently?
4. I question the sanity of the person that decided to turn the secret room into a storage for books. Like, "Oh, there is that huge detailed moving carving of the school crest, and the wall disappears to reveal this awesome scene of what seem to be statues of the four creators, lets just put some boxes with books back here."

Finally, I REALLY hope you update again soon. I know that there is no way to rush a masterpiece, which is what I am expecting every author to think of their work as, but I do still hope that you update in a quicker fashion since you are more than likely out on summer break.

Best of luck with the writing
~Rachel Payne

Author's Response: Ah! I'm sorry! I'm very terrible at updating, and for some reason, this story in particular. Ellie can be difficult to write at times.

I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter! I hope it was worth the long wait. And there's so much plot development in this one chapter, it's actually insane - one of the reasons it took me so long to write.

I don't mind your pushiness! Reviews are here for the feedback, and I like all of it!
1. Regulus is a "series regular" so to speak. His appearances will become more frequent - I love writing him.
2. Albus annoys me, too. He's difficult to write, and that frustration shows, I think. I know where he needs to go, but he'll take his time getting there.

There are definitely things I skimmed over because the chapter was getting a wee bit long.
1. Hahaha! That mystery is yet to be revealed!
2. Another mystery yet to be revealed!
3. Maybe... maybe not...
4. It's a library. Books are EXACTLY what one should expect.

Another update should be coming soonish. I live on the other side of the world, so I am most definitely not on summer break, and have been busy for the past month, but an update is definitely on the horizon! Thanks for reading :)


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Review #22, by Blunt pnix {Chapter the Sixth}

23rd June 2014:
I was so excited when I saw you updated. Good chapter! Update soon!

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

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Review #23, by aurorasoltice {Chapter the Sixth}

23rd June 2014:
Yay for the long aawaited update! Though i just started reading today. The 4 animals sounds like the founders and aw the bop is cute. Thanks for the update! :)

Author's Response: Yay for updates! Thanks for the lovely review :)

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Review #24, by hpfan101 {Chapter the Fifth}

5th May 2014:
Please update! This is one of the best plots I have read in a while and it's also one of your most successfull stories so please update and don't give up also keep up the good work;)

Author's Response: I will update (soonish, I hope)! I have half of chapter 6 written, so it will happen! Thank you for your encouragement and support :)

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Review #25, by Pixileanin {Chapter the Second}

13th April 2014:
"And he was cute. And dead, but who really cared about such trivial things?"

Ack! Cute, dead people in someone's kitchen!! Poor girl! And yeah, teenage males are so annoying!! Get to the point, Reggie! Lovely trick too, having her lie and pretend she's making up a story. Very effective, and it seems to work too.

I love her panic when Mrs. P asks her to sit down. She's so worried about the straight jacket that she can't think straight.

Ginny giving Chris and Ellie watches on their seventeenth birthdays was very, very sweet of her. I'm glad these two have people like that around them to remind them that they're not alone in the world. People who are alone, are... err... lonely. Yeah. That's what I was going for.

I can't wait to see what kind of difficulties... err... I mean, help, Regulus plans to give Ellie in Hogwarts this year. He's definitely not telling her what's going on, and he obviously knows something big is going to happen, so shame on him for being so mysterious. Although, if he were more forthcoming, we wouldn't have such an epic story, would we?

And obviously, it's about time that Ellie told her brother what's going on with her. But she probably won't, because this thing has been going on for so long that she doesn't feel the need to say anything until it's too late... silly teens!

Another wonderful chapter! *keeps prodding with stick*

Author's Response: Hahaha! I don't know what Ellie's problem is. If Regulus Black popped into my kitchen, dead or alive, I'd be pretty excited. Even if he does have an aura of cultivated mystery.

I wanted to show that Ginny really tries to include Chris and Ellie in the family - she's very much her mother's daughter in that sense. Ellie's just very awkward about the entire thing! But you're right. Family is very important.

Regulus is... he's a lot of fun. He's going to make Ellie's life a lot more interesting, for sure!

Ellie just needs to get her act together, all around. She hordes secrets like dragon's treasure.

My updates are terrible, no? Molly is sorely neglected :( On the bright side, there IS a new Sirius/Millie chapter in the queue...


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