Charlie. I liked this chapter a lot. More than I like chocolate ice-cream, which is quite a compliment because chocolate ice-cream fsjhfskfhfsa
GRACE IS SO COOL. I love how you've shown the differences in her relationships with different people- it's realistic and awfully enjoyable. Grace's mum. Oh, the lovely lady.
AND FRANCIS. AS HER BOYFRIEND. This I have to see. This chapter was so interesting and getting a bit of her back-story was awesomesauce.
Can't wait to read more because you're amazing and this story is amazing and... Yeah.Author's Response: THANK 4 RIVU JENNI SAH GUD
GRACE IS FANTASTICAL
CHARLIE OUT Report Review
Ho, ho, ho!!
Here I am for your third review from the first round of secret santa gifts!!
I adored this chapter!! It's always interesting to see how characters act around different characters -- it brings a hint of realism to the story. I mean, real people act slightly different around their friends than they do around their employer or their families. This little meeting between Grace and her mum was no different!! I loved being able to see some of her thoughts and seeing a bit of her back story. I really like her -- she's quite practical, not holding grudges against her grandfather for his involvement with the death eaters. Her saying that he just made a mistake is much more realistic than if she thought it were 100% acceptable or 100% wrong.
I also enjoyed your characterization of Grace's mum. She's an interesting lady. I thought it was cool that she sold the family estate to a national trust. Those old castles have to come from somewhere!! lol.
lololol. Francis as Grace's boyfriend. Oh boy. Quite anxious to see how this trip goes or if it goes. Annnd oh my goodness, I wonder what's going on at the station!! I hope it's nothing too terrible.
You've done an excellent job with this story so far! Your characters are great and every chapter has been interesting and fun to read. I'm so glad I got you as my secret santa, else I may never have read this. Great work!!
merry christmas with love from,
santa clawsAuthor's Response: Yay! Another review!
This was a great chapter to write- in all honesty Grace's parents are some of my favorite characters, particularly her mother. It's also quite hard to write, however, because I think her relationship with her mother is quite difficult to put across. For me, at least. So I'm glad you seem to think I did okay.
I love the national trust castles! I literally spent my life at one of them when I was little, and I used to imagine it was all magical, so perhaps that inspired me somehow? IdK haha.
Thank you so much again for the review,
Charlie! Report Review
I know that it's already christmas eve and that I should be leaving you your second secret santa gift, but with the holidays and the archive glitch and everything I'm only now able to leave you the rest of your round 1 gifts. But, better late than never, right??
Anyway, onto the gift... another review!!
I thought that this was another great chapter. Grace continues to be a really strong main character. I love being able to witness the goings on at the station!! Your cast of characters is very entertaining and eclectic and I always love all the details you put into shaping and creating realistic magical news reports. I'm always fascinated by next gen stories that take place from a non-potter/weasley POV -- it's so interesting to see how everyone sees the world and their opinions on the politics and such. It's also cool to see how they feel about the weasleys and potters. When the story takes place from one of their POVs, you often forget how famous they are, so I love seeing them as sorts of wizarding celebrities that the public either loves or hates.
I'm really enjoying this story and am very intrigued by this business with Bill Weasley and the search for voldemort. Can't wait to read more of it!! It's all so interesting and I'm anxious to see Grace's role in it all.
I hope you're having a very merry christmas!!
With love from,
Santa ClawsAuthor's Response: Hello again!
it's absolutely fine that you were a little late with your gift- I know we're always very bust around this season.
I'm so glad you think I've continued to shape Grace well. I spend a ridic amount of time on my characters, + I adore politics and stuff so I have lots of fun writing it!
Grace will have a bit of a role in it all *tap nose*
I hope you had a fabulous christmas,
Charlie! Report Review
Technically it is still the 14th, but as it's getting late on in the day I wanted to be sure to pop by and leave the first of your three reviews for this round of the Covarium Secret Santa. :) You can expect reviews for chapters 2 and 3 sometime tomorrow (unless the site goes down?... I've been around as much as usual of late so I'm not entirely sure what's going on).
But anyway, this was such an enjoyable first chapter. I can't honestly put my finger on what it was that made it so, but everything from the snappy broadcast dialogue (which was really quite good), to Grace's general likability (a exceedingly rare commodity amongst OCs these days -- they always seem so quirky and loud, Grace is like a breath of realistic, pleasant fresh air), to the little tidbits of really well timed humor (the beethoven thing was hilario -- especially the bit where Rose finishes Grace's thought out loud, it really showed how close they are). I'm not entirely sure where this story is going, but that's really ok!! I suspect it has something to do with Louis... his brief appearance was piqued my curiosity... but I'm very keen to read more and will do so very soon.
This was fabulous and I'm really quite envious of how crafty all of your tiny little details for the news reports fit into her broadcast.
Great job, and Merry December 14th (1/3)
S. clausiusAuthor's Response: hello! Thank you very much for the review! It was so nice! I'm very glad you thought it was enjoyable, as well as Grace. Happy belated Christmas,
Now that's an interesting way to start off the story, with a wizarding world radio announcement. To be honest I have never really thought about that with all the magic flying about. It's unique and I like unique.
Aww sad to hear about Ernest being killed but I suppose it has to happen in order to provide a good case to solve.
Rose seems a little snarky or maybe it's my perception of her. She kind of reminds me of a female Draco for some reason lol. That's not an insult because I am a big fan of Draco, just didn't expect Rose to be that way. But it's a refreshing way to portray her and has definitely caught my interest.
Grace seems to be quite an interesting character. I am interested to see more of her.
This is a very nice way to start out the chapter. It's given me just enough wonder that I am anxious to see what the next chapter holds. And so that's where I am off to :)Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! It's good that you liked the start of the story-I always find that the hardest part.
I am terrible for killing people! It's got to be done for the plot though :(
Rose is a little snarky- though she's a lot like me haha! I think she is a little like Draco, although a bit more gryffindorish!
I think Grace Is quite interesting, all though that might just be because I am the author. Ha ha
Thank you so much for reviewing, and I'll pop over and review yours very soon! Report Review
Hey there! So I'm really sorry I took hours with the review stop, I got caught up doing absolutely nothing and really enjoying it and I didn't notice the time slip past.
So, this was a really cool first chapter. I like how Rose isn't nice (because I really do hate nice characters, they're honestly sickening) and the bit about Beethoven was wonderful and really made me smile. I wish I'd gotten a bit more information about the characters though, or a little more clue to the plot, as having read this I still have no idea what this story is going to be about (although I'm definitely intrigued).
And I always like stuff about the wizarding wireless and other bits and pieces that really fill in the gaps of wizarding culture, which I care about more than I probably should given the whole fictional thing. But radio shows are always fun, so I really liked that aspect of things (poor Ernest though :O)
Really enjoyed it either way and it was a pleasure swapping with you! :)
-ACAuthor's Response: Haha it's fine! I am quite literally the most distractible person in this planet! Thank you so much for the wonderful review! I'm glad you like Rose, she's very fun to write.
Hmm, the exposition is difficult! I have left a few clues in there as to the plot, but perhaps they are a little subtle...
I do like those too- I suppose that's mainly why I like writing this so much!
Thank you again for the review.
I love how you've chosen something different for your main character to be doing in Next Gen - most Next Gen stories are flooded with students or Aurors or Healers and it does get a little dull after a while. Radio is so different and really pretty interesting. I love the little touches you've given it as well - with the broadcasting orb and things. A very believable substitute for a camera and recording equipment.
Your OC seems kinda interesting too, although I don't really feel like I know enough about her to say whether I like her or not and how interesting she is. I dunno... it just doesn't seem to me like there's enough information in here to get me completely interesting and involved in this. It's a fantastic beginning, don't get me wrong, but maybe you could put a bit more plot in it? Introduce some kind of tension or potential problem?
Also, there are a couple of capitalising errors in the beginning speech. 'Good afternoon' shouldn't be capitalised, and I don't think 'news' should be, either... it doesn't seem right to me... I get that you probably chose the order of your statements to fit in with the other broadcaster talking, but I'm not sure that order works very well - they always deal with the most important stories first, as a general rule, and a robbery (which, again, shouldn't be capitalised - crimes are never capitalised ;) ) doesn't seem to be the most important thing. Honestly, I'm not entirely sure it would be mentioned, seeing as it's hardly a major crime. It might be important to your plot that you mention it (I dunno) but if it's not, maybe take it out, juggle the order or change it to something a bit more dangerous and important.
I'm being a bit picky with this, though mostly because I really like the idea you've got - it's brilliant. The whole use of radio and an OC Next Gen character as the star without adding 'ooh, will she choose James or Albus/Louis or Fred/etc.' or 'ooh, she totally hates him, but she really loves him, you know' is just great. I really wanna know where this goes and how the radio comes into your plot!
I really enjoyed this! :D
Aph xxAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for the lovely long, detailed review!
It's funny, the orbs were the moment thing- perhaps I was subconsciously trying to create another association for them other than Draco's eyes, haha!
I agree that it's often very hard to know whether an OC is interesting by the first chapter! I hope Grace is interesting, though!
Thank you for all the capitalization pointers! I really am terrible when it comes to capitalisation- I've only just got out of the habit of capitalising absolutely everything!
I actually thought a lot about that robbery (which isn't important to my plot, haha). It seems that, mostly, the wizarding world isn't very violent (except when voldermort and other dark wizards are around) and, also, *blushes* because it gave me a chance to include my very favorite character!
Again, thank you so much for the review!
Hi, I'm here from the BVB review battle.
This story is really good, I'm definitely adding it to my favourites to keep on reading. I love the plot so far especially that she is working for a radio station, something that isn't very commonly done in Harry Potter fanfiction, but I'm looking forward to reading it more.
I found no spelling or grammatical errors while I was reading. I found anything at all, all I found was a well written story that I really enjoyed reading.
CharlieAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for the review! I'm really glad that you liked it! (ps I notice you're called Charlie! WOO HIGH FIVE BETWEEN THE CHARLIES WE'RE ALL AMAZING THEREFORE YOU TOO ARE AMAZING!) Report Review
Hello there- this chapter looked lonely so I thought I'd come and give it some love!
Haha Grace does make me laugh- I really like that she's not that great at Apparition... it makes her seem so realistic and relatable. You have a great skill for combining humour with really good storytelling, which I think is why I'm enjoying reading this so much!
And wow her family are rich! I really enjoyed reading her interractions with her parents- her Dad seems sweet, although I'm not so sure about her mother!
It also amused me reading about wizards trying to deal with the concept of the National Trust- that was a cute touch.
The other thing- more serious- thing I enjoyed as regards Grace's family was the whole Pureblood-post-war dimension. It's really interesting to hear how the family has adjusted, especially her mother's distancing of herself from her Death Eater father.
The other thing I wanted to say is that the names you've been using are fantastic!
Oh dear- I have a feeling that Grace's little lie about Francis is going to have less than perfect results! With that and the family weekend away, I'm sure the next chapters are going to be hilarious!
-BethanyAuthor's Response: It did feel a bit lonely- since NaNo just finished, I was actually going to pop over and ask you for another review! Well, fate made me not have to fill out a form ;) No, this was a really fab surprise! Thank you so much!
You are so nice to me! I can't resist a good bit of humour- I always have these really serious plunnies, and I can never pull them off because my characters are always a bit mad and silly. (Like me, really. I am no dark heroine.)
They are rather rich! I spent a long time thinking about how much money I would give them, and I decided this: For how I imagine the castle, this would be a likely sum. Not only that, but considering the fact that they have another very large, old estate to keep up, and the fact that neither of her parents earn anything, it should be just enough to keep them above average. It's very difficult, working on that kind of thing. My least favourite thing, actually, grrr.
The National Trust thing should be fun, as I'm going to make them 'muggleise' the castle- I'm quite looking forward to writing that, actually.
hehehe I'm actually really obsessed with character names, and I spent hours planning out her family tree. I have a hilarious joke hiding in there, though it doesn't appear in this chapter. Lets hope I can slip it in. Mwahahahaha
Her lie is going to have some repercussions! I think the next chapters are gonna be pretty fun, as I can do lots of plotting, as well as sillying! I'm looking forward to them, and the next chapter should be soon, since NaNo's finished.
Thank you so much again for the surprise review! Report Review
Hey there! I'm back with your requested review! I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get round to you- RL has been obsecenely busy of late.
I really enjoy reading Grace. She has a very strong personality which comes through in her voice. I like the way she chats with Rose- they way they talk sounds very realistic- exactly the way best friends do talk. The argument with Lipton was made me giggle, although I'm not quite sure why she destroyed the wall...?
I think that your writing flows beautifully- as I've said, the character interactions are spot on and you slip between scenes very smoothly too. I find your writing style very easy to read.
Your plot seems to be developing in a good way too. I'm guessing that the issue with the Cursebreakers is going to be important...? I think Grace's perspective on the Weasley/Potter clan is an interesting one, because she's sort of neutral about them. It was interesting to find out about her Pureblood background.
I did think that the flow into this chapter was a little odd, as at the end of the first chapter, Grace was just about to go out, and then at the beginning of the next one she was complaining about their neighbour, so I was a little confused about that...
But otherwise, another great chapter! I think your plot's shaping up well, and that your writing style is wonderful. I'm still really enjoying the radio aspect to this story, and the way the characters talk to each other. Just make sure you keep things planned out, and I'm sure it will continue to be wonderful :)
PS. I meant to say in my last review that I love your summary!Author's Response: Oh, it's absolutely fine- your reviews are always worth the wait.
Thank you! I think it can sometimes be hard for characters personalities to shine through when writing in the first person, because they are talking about their own view of their world, and therefore themselves.
She was trying to sort of vanish it, so she could hop in their and take his guitar off him, or whatever, but obviously it didn't go too well. I'll work on making that clearer :)
Thank you, when I was starting out it was my worst thing, so It's nice to see that I'm getting a little better.
You're right, the cursebreaker issue is important, and will be a rather large portion of the jigsaw. I think we'll find out more about her background (we find out a little in the next chapter), particularly because I have so many notes on it that I'd hate myself forever if I left it out.
Hmm, was it? It was meant to be maybe the next day or a few days later. I'm not sure how I could make that better/clearer, because I don't need to write what goes between the two... hmm... I don't know.
Thank you so, so much. Things are very planned out. Very planned out. I'm certainly a planner, which is probably a good thing. Thank you so much for your review, and as soon as I have a few more chapters up I'll hop over and re-request, if that's okay.
Ooh, thank you, I had a lot of trouble with it. Brill ♥ Report Review
Hello, I'm here with your requested review!
I am actually really warming up to next-gen fics. I think that fanon has done such a good job with developing the characters on their own that, this long after the seventh book came out, it's like they're real characters that I know. What I'm trying to say is don't be sorry for asking me to review a next-gen at all. :) Although I did have to look up who Louis was because I haven't read the books in so long XD
I really love your introductory scene. Really great job portraying the relationship between two characters who aren't actually able to speak to one another--and I love the age you've chosen to give the characters. We rarely read about them at this point in their lives (post-Hogwarts, I'm assuming.) Really nice!
The part about thinking Beethoven is a dog was really funny, and that she made a comment about it on the air.
Your characterization of Rose seems very thought-out. And although we don't get a verbal description of your OC, per se, it seems like she has a strong personality that you've also taken into serious consideration.
I didn't notice any grammar or spelling errors, but there are some punctuation mistakes scattered throughout the story. I'd advise going back and looking over it or finding a Beta to check punctuation for you :)
All in all, I think it's a really good start. The relationship between Rose and Grace as well as Grace and Louis are really believable. Well done!Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review! I really like next-gen fanfics- I don't know why... It's not like I don't write about wars and such, I just like them :D I don't even think Louis appeared in the books... There are just those magical few who JK stuck on the family tree ;)
Very much post-Hogwarts- I cannot write Hogwarts, no idea why... Thank you, though, it's really hard, considering they couldn't talk.
hehehe that was a last minute addition, but I do rather like her.
Hmm, I do tend to work quite hard on my characters- I always get worried that it doesn't show and I still end up flailing around.
I shall go and look over it! I do have a beta request up, but no-one has taken it... wah. I really, really need.
Thank you so much again for taking the time to write me such a great review! Report Review
This is an interesting start! I've never actually thought of the life of a wizarding/witching radio broadcaster but now that I think about it, their life would actually be quite interesting. I'm not sure about the general characterisation of Next-Gen characters but I think (in my mind) Rose is normally portrayed as kind, so I find it very interesting that she's not in your story!
Also, you write well. The radio broadcast at the beginning seemed very believable and that's very hard to do! (I think, anyway!)Author's Response: Wow, thanks! I think it's something that a lot of people don't think of (I certainly didn't, anyway). I agree that the life would be very interesting, which is really why I chose to portray it. Hmm, Rose is one of the few characters that really walked into my mind, so to speak. She just sort of sat there and I knew what to write for her, so it's lovely to know that she's at least a little different in interesting.
Wow 100% thank you that's the greatest compliment for a writer! I listened to a lot of radio news broadcasts in preparation, so it's good to know I got it right.
Thank you so much for offering the review! Report Review
this story defiantly has lots of potential. I adore the idea of them working in a radio station (the integration/contrast of muggle technology is really well done).
The story itself is original and I honestly can't see where you're going to go from here (which is good, unlike other next-gen stories were the entire story is laid out in one big chapter and the rest of the story is like /blah/).
I'm quite interested in the main character - she seems very nice and I'm eager to see what will happen to her in the next few chapters :)
Overall, really good original story. Good luck on your future chapters!
Jasmine, xAuthor's Response: Hi! I'll do your review in just a moment!
thank you very much, it's always hard to get the balance right, so it's great! Hehehe there was a clue in there, but I don't expect anyone to get it. It's more like an 'aah so that's what was going on' thing, so I'm glad you can't tell where it's going! :) Yay! Well the next few chapters are up, so hopefully you'll like them ♥
xx Report Review
I love Grace. Her personality is fantastic and you've created her character so well! And she blew up a wall, that certainly gets a bucket-load of bonus points in my books. I also like how we've gotten to know more about her without having it dumped on us in massive block paragraphs.
Honestly, I really want to see where this all goes. Where's Louis?! I can't wait to see more of him in particular.
Rose is an awesome character. I swear, this is exactly how I've always pictured Rose in my head.
Can't wait for the next chapter, Charlie. ♥Author's Response: YAY FANTASTIC PERSONALITY TRIPLE THANK YOUS ♥ ♥ WOW. I love the blowing up the wall part, and it's good that you know her because the story, it is quite character driven, so yay!
Louis will be back son, only one more chapter and he'll be bad and back and there'll be plenty of fun.
Yay! Rose is lovely and friendly and mad, and I like her.
IT'S IN THE QUEUE BECAUSE I'M BEING GOOD AND UPDATING REGULARLY...
anyway thank you for being fatabulous and reviewing me ♥ Report Review
I love the idea of a story focussed on a character who works on radio in the Wizarding World. It's seriously original and I can practically see where you can take it - I'm excited for future chapters!
Grace, from what I've seen of her so far, is a really interesting character who I can't wait to see more of. I really want to see more of Louis and what his personality is like, because Louis Weasley is an awesome character and I love him dearly.
I WISH THIS CHAPTER WAS LONG, CHARLIE BECAUSE I REALLY LIKE THIS STORY.Author's Response: Uhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh thank you my darling Jenni I am 100% glad you are excited.
Sadly sadly sadly, Louis takes his absence for a couple of chapters, but then he's back and awesomer THAN EVER ♥
hmm I will try and write longer chapters. Maybe I shall merge 4 and 5, I think that would work, AND THEN YOU WILL HAVE A SUPER-CHAPTER. Report Review
Hello- this is CalypsoJenna from the forums, here with your requested review!
Great start! It's a really original idea to have a character working at a radio station- and a lot more interesting than another Auror or Ministry worker. I liked the blend of magical and Muggle technology in Grace's studio.
Haven't seen too much of the characters yet, but so far they seem engaging enough:
I really liked the way you introduced Grace, plunging straight into the story with the radio broadcast and your description of Rose- the "good person, a brave person, a noble person and a smart person, but not a kind person"- was great, and really good device for telling the reader about the character.
It's difficult to glean much about Louis so far, but I see this is going to be a Louis/OC story so I'm sure we'll see much more of him in chapters to come!
I would say that this chapter is a little on the short side- it would be nice to have something a bit longer that one can get into more, but all in all I thought this was a great chapter. Grace seems like a great main character, and the idea of basing it around a radio station, I think is genius!
-BethanyAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for the review! I know it was a little short, and there was a good bit more meant to be in it originally. The thing is, in the end, it just seemed unnecessary and maybe even slightly confusing, so I finished it there. I thought the idea of the radio station was a little different, and I'm glad you liked it! Thank you again for the review, Charlie Report Review
It's me; from my review thread.
I think that you're off to a very good start, here. I'm not sure, exactly, where your story is going, so far, but I like it. I think that the way you started was a really good way to draw the reader in with the news radio broad cast.
I really like Grace's character, and I have a really good visual of her personality. I also think that you've done a good job with Rose, as well. I always believed her to be the brave, studious, hard-working type, but with a dash of sarcasm here and there.
But, I feel like you could have introduced Louis a little better. I think that you should have elaborated a little more on the type of relationship he and Grace have; friends, frienemies, enemies, ect.
But, I would really like to see what happens next!Author's Response: Thank you for the review! Hmm, you're not really meant to know what's going on yet, but it'll become clear. I did plant a few clues, but I wasn't really expecting anyone to get them... I'm glad you got a good idea of Grace's and Rose's personalities, because this story is going to be quite character driven...
I know the Louis introduction wasn't perfect, so thank you for sort of backing up my 'this isn't so good' metre. I thought it was a little quick, but I couldn't see any other way to introduce them. Just for clarification, she's sort of on the good side of acquaintance with him. You'll get to find out soon, because I'm just about to put the next chapter into the queue! Report Review
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