Reading Reviews for Loving Her
7 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Haronione About James Potter

18th July 2013:
Me again, back for chapter two :) Again, I really enjoyed reading this. I think I preferred this one to the James one actually (not that that one wasn't great!)

I really liked the start, with Lily being so obviously in denial about her feelings for James. I like how you explain that this is because Lily doesn't want to be like the silly, beauty obsessed girls and that admitting that James had the qualities she looks for would feel like defeat. I could imagine Lily being like this and not wanting to be wrong.

Again, this was well written and easy to read. I have one bit of CC though: This line confused me 'Mitchell just didnít have the ability to make her laugh even though the Daily Prophet headline told of yet another mass killing of Muggles by the Death Eaters. to me it reads that Lily thinks mass muggle killings should be something to be laughed about, not that she thinks he should be trying to cheer her up because of the terrible news. If this was meant to be a contrast to how James did have the ability to make her laugh despite terrible news, maybe this line could be revised to make what you mean clearer to the reader. (Hope that makes sense, I feel I rambled a bit there :')

I loved the second half of the fic with Lily thinking about what it was that had made her realise she loved James. And the fact that she feared this! The aspects about James that Lily thinks about are very realistic and believable. I could really see James changing this way to win Lily round. The characterisation of Lily and James was great :)

I really enjoyed reading this, it was short and simple but very effective and enjoyable :D Great job!

Haronione x

Author's Response: Oh, mass killings is definitely NEVER something to joke about. I DID mean that James could make her day better even when she got terrible news, not that killing is good. I WILL go back right now to fix that; I'm glad you pointed that out! Thank you! And I can definitely feel that Lily would be scared of her feelings. I can imagine her fearing a lot of things that arent' in her control whilst she's at Hogwarts because of how she's a Muggleborn and so newer to the magical world and with the war going on, it must be scary to have things beyond her control, so I feel like things such as love definitely would be something that Lily's cautious about. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! You're simply amazing! (:

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Review #2, by Haronione About Lily Evans

18th July 2013:
This was a really sweet chapter and I enjoyed reading it! I absolutely adore James/Lily :D

It was interesting to read the turmoil James was going through about his improving relationship with Lily. And I loved the fact that you had James doubting that it was love he felt for Lily. You did a really good job of writing the way James felt, and how he came to the decision that he was in love with her. I felt it was very realistic and the characterisation of James was great :)

This was well written and flowed well, making it an easy read. I did, however, notice a couple of small things - 'There also was nothing quite like...' I feel this would read better as 'There was also nothing quite like...' But that's just my opinion. And '...Lily Evans was one woman that he would the longest lengths for. the 'go' is missing between 'would' and 'the'. But these are just little things I noticed :)

I liked how the other Marauders were really very little help to James when deciding whether to ask Lily out again, with each of them giving different, conflicting advice. I could really see things like this happening frequently in the group :)

I also like the fact that it focused purely on James's inner thoughts, with no dialogue. I usually like a good balance of dialogue in fics, but it wasn't needed here. Good job!

Haronione :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading! I wanted to make this more of James and Lily reflecting rather than anything else. I will definitely look back and fix those flaws! This is one of my stories that don't get as much attention so I haven't been focusing too much on fine-tuning them (which I should do, regardless) xD Thank you for pointing them out! and thank you for reading and reviewing!(:

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Review #3, by Secret Santa About Lily Evans

30th December 2012:
Hey, Secret Santa here :)

Gahhh, I love Jily. They are such a cute couple. And James' thoughts in this were just perfect. So were the Marauder's reactions, with the whole confusion about his feelings and not believing he was in love with Lily. I loved this.

The whole 'no dialogue' thing was interesting. You did it really well, so it didn't drag or take away from the story like a few stories like that do. Great job on that!

This was such a sweet story. Love it! Great job :)

Happy Holidays!

Author's Response: I'm so glad that the 'no dialogue' worked for you! I was scared to try it because I didn't want the story to come out bland, so I'm glad that you liked it.

Thanks so much!

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Review #4, by Claire About Lily Evans

25th November 2012:
This story was great. Definitely one of my favourite Lily/James. The way you voiced the characters was really real and believable, but adorable at the same time. I enjoyed every word. Probably the best short story I have read here, really. (^_^)

Author's Response: aw thank you so much!! (:
im a sucker for canon so im so glad that you found everything real and believable!
thank you so much!
(btw, i love that we have the same name!)

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Review #5, by sour_grapes_snape About James Potter

20th November 2012:
This was so cute! I liked how you showed both sides of the relationship. You did very good in showing James's doubts and fears and Lily's confusion. It was very short and sweet, but eloquent at the same time. Thank you for your submission to the challenge.

Author's Response: im glad that you like it!
at first, I had written it to be a one-shot but changed my mind; I'm glad that u liked it!
thanks! (:

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Review #6, by CambAngst About Lily Evans

28th October 2012:
Happy Birthday! This is your Gryffie Brithday review. This story was recent and frankly appears a bit under-loved, so it seemed like a good choice.

I thought this was a fantastic characterization of James Potter.It wasn't too saintly. It wasn't completely lovestruck and smitten. There's a strong dose of competitiveness and a fair bit of fear and even a bit of possessiveness. In other words, it was completely human. Love often starts out as that feeling of realizing that you aren't so happy about the idea of the other person being with anybody else.

The way you wrote the reactions of the other Marauders was really well done. Carefree, slightly jealous Sirius who mostly just doesn't want to lose his best mate to a girl. Wise, patient Remus who wants to help James along. Even poor, clueless Peter who can only contribute his outside observations.

"James didn't want to ruin it, but he knew in his heart that Lily Evans was going to be the death of him one day." - Gah. Poor James. If only you knew how true this statement really was. :(

I think my favorite part was watching James start to be honest with himself about his feelings for Lily. He seems like the kind of kid who had a pretty strong capacity for self-deception. He could convince himself that being popular and talented and a great Quidditch player made up for the fact that he was a bully. He could convince himself that Snape deserved the abuse that he heaped on. (OK, maybe he was a little right about that.) Here, he finally admits something to himself. He's honest about something that makes him feel weak and vulnerable. It's not a natural act for a guy like James, but it's an important one.

Your writing was terrific in this. I didn't see any typos or grammatical problems. It flowed really well from start to finish. Nothing sounded wordy or stuffy.

This was a really good one-shot. You know what I think would be awesome? Writing Lily's side of this. How did she go from thinking of James as an arrogant, obnoxious prat to falling in love with him? Then you'd have a complete set!

Author's Response: aw thank you so much!
this was such an amazing review and I loved every piece of it!
This one-shot of mine was a bit unloved, so I feel so glad that you wrote a review on it!
I'm glad that you like my characterizations on James because he's my favorite character (along with Sirius) so I like to think that I did him justice (:

the idea of writing Lily's side is AMAZING!
i think i will do that because that sounds like an amazing idea. it WOULD be nice to see the change and the idea of a complete set is nice!
thanks for suggesting that!!

i loved your review!
thank you so much!! (:

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Review #7, by Opalpixiechick About Lily Evans

5th October 2012:
Awww. I loved this. Great job!

Author's Response: aw thank you (:
thnx for R+R!

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