Please update! Please update! Please update!

 Report Review

Good,so far. Keep trying.

 Report Review

Woah.
Just woah.
9/10

Author's Response: What!! is it good or bad?

 Report Review

The little sister could be called Sydney!!!
hehe...
Great chapter! Can't wait to read more :)
9/10

Author's Response: haha yeah maybe. Hermione is still in first year.

 Report Review

Woah man, woah.
Pansy and Ron? Interesting pairing.
Good job on this chapter! I'm slightly confused about which year Hermione is in. Is she still in first year?
9/10 :)

Author's Response: yeah weird heyy. Thanks for reviewing.

 Report Review

Another great chapter Lyss! I loved it! Holly's quite clever I have to admit! Can't wait to see what happens next! keep up the excellent work! Jenna :) x

Author's Response: Thanks you for the review, Jenna!!
Lyss xxoo

 Report Review

Hey Lyss! Loving the love triangle :) Your writing is becoming clearer and more coherent with each chapter, so keep up the good work! I have a few silly name suggestions for you as well:

Big sis: Lux, Barsheba
Little sis: Jewel, Safronia
Stepdad: Jarvis, Cyril
Big bro: Shadrach, Cyrus
Little bro: Sullivan, Jett
Auror: Skyla, Araminta (female)/Lamont, Porter (male)

Happy writing! xxB

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing. I really appreciate it. With the names.. Im really sorry but I got impatient and published my oneshot. It should be out soon.
Lyss xxoo

 Report Review

Watch your grammar and spelling, aswell as capitals..

Author's Response: Thanks for the review.
Lyss xxoo

 Report Review

Hey Lyss! Amazing chapter! I love the love traingle between Fred, Holly and Ron! What I wouldn't give to go swimming with Weasley twins...*sigh* But enough of my unhealthy crush on fictional characters! Great work on this chapter I really liked it! Um...I like the name Aliya (girls name), Kadeem (it's a boys name- Kadz can be used as a nickname), Shameeza (girls name) sorry I'm not very good at this! Hope I've been at least some help! Fantastic work with the story so far! I can't wait to read more! Update soon! Jenna :) x

Author's Response: The LOOVVEE triangle!! I reakon that it is good because it takes all the main attention off Hermioe and gives Holly a turn. WILL HOLLY OR FRED/RON GET TOGETHER BEFORE HERMIONE AND GEORGE? Ill just have to wait and see...:)
Lyss xxoo

 Report Review

Another great chapter as usual! I can definitely see your writing skills improving with each chapter (not that you need to improve at all! You're already amazing) and I can see you're becoming more confident in your writing which is a good thing! I really enjoyed this chapter! Thank God for the Weasley twins- always around to save the day (and they do it whilst looking good LIKE REALLY GOOD) Excellent work with this chapter! Keep it up!
Jenna :) x

Author's Response: I TOTALLY agree that they are really..really good looking. The Gods with red hair. LOL. More chapters to come and check out my one shot.
Lyss xxoo


 Report Review

Hey Lyss! Great chapter! I loved it! Hope they get together soon! Can't wait to read the next couple of chapters! Jenna :) x

Author's Response: heyy Jenna thanks for the review!!

 Report Review

Hey Lyss, it's me again, so firstly I would like to say you're doing really well on this story; there are still some grammar issues but it's got better, just remember to use a capital for names (especially chapter 3) and keep an eye on spellings (maybe use spell check?) Also it might be a good idea to use more discription; you could tell the story of how Allen was saved in a whole chapter. Sorry if I sound really critical I just want to help because I think this story is good!
As for names here are a few;
Girls: Astrid, Aleta, Danica, Fawn, Celeste, Echo
Boys: Alfie, Lazarus, Pedro, Jayden, Kai, Andre
I know they are really random but there you go, just some ideas, you don't have to use them.
Lastly I hope you manage to get a banner sorted out, you do need a login at TDA but it's not difficult to get one and it's really quick!
Happy Writing.
~Char

Author's Response: Heyy Char,
thanks for the critizisum fori probably needed it..badly.
I thank you so much for the names and will try to use as many as i can. Good to see that you are reading this story!
Yours Truly,
Lyss xxoo

 Report Review

Heya,
So as i said I would I've read your first chapter (will continue reading just now). It's pretty good, you have a few spelling problems (McGonagall not Mcgonagl and slightly not sleitly) so you might want to fix those. Other than that its good and will make a good story!
Also if you want a banner like you said in your story review, you should go to TDA (the dark arts) and request! Trust me, it's really simple and there are tutorials and everything!
Well done.
~Char

Author's Response: Char,
thankyou for the amazing review and i wil check out TDA but do you need a login?
hope to hear from you soon!
Lyss xxoo

 Report Review

So, I love Hermione and George together, and you have a nice plot, but you need to watch your spelling/grammar.
And when someone is speaking like this:
"Hi Hermione! How are you?" asked Harry. "Great, thanks!" replied Hermione.

You should have a space between the two people speaking, it's easier to understand who is talking at which time, Like this:
"Hi Hermione! How are you?" asked Harry.
"Great, thanks!" replied Hermione.

So every time someone else starts speaking, you need to jump to the next line, and write their response there.

Remeber you need capitals on words like:
I, I'm and things like that.
Before you publish anything, use spell check aswell.

Again, great plot line, I'm hoping to read more.
:) 7/10

Author's Response: Thannk you for the amazing review!!
Lyss xxoo

 Report Review

Nice! I love the story so far! But i'm just curious about how they saved Allan. Did George help?
*ok I might be hinting too much*
Anyway great story and keep it up!
Merry Christmas!
Athena
8/10

Author's Response: Hello Athena,
I have just wrote a new chapter but it wont be out for a little while. In this chapter there will be a flashback of how it all happened trying to save Allen.

Thanks for reviewing once again,
Lyss xxoo

 Report Review

Aw thanks for the shout out Lyss! Great chapter! I thought, just from the first chapter, that this story has a lot of potential and now just two chapters in I can confirm that it's true! You're clearly very skilled with your writing and it shows! I love how Harry and Ron are so protective of Hermione but they also know that George likes her! Really well done so far with the story! Keep up the brilliant work! I already love this! Please update soon because I can't wait to read on! Jenna :)

Author's Response: heyy thanks 4 being there 4 all the chapters and i promise that the next chapter will be out soon enough.
Yours Truly,
Lyss xxoo

 Report Review

Hee, i like this story and the idea, ive had this kind of idea in my mind for a pretty long time know i recently found HPFF and want to write my own.

I have a few points to wich you may want to take attention :)

1. You grammer, im not native english so my grammer isnt the best either.
2. The storyline, i think your going to quick, it was just the sorting ceremony, and suddenly she is best friends with harry and ron? And they fall in love so quick? (Try doing this a bit more slow. Your story is avout their love right? :) let the readers beg you for the romance, let them want to see it, but tease them a bit, if you know what i mean :) like in the real story, how long have we all been waiting for the ron and hermione kiss? :P LONNNGGG but is was defenitly worth it!)
3. Longer chapters :)

overal really nice

Author's Response: Thank you for the thoughtful review.
Lyss xxoo

 Report Review

m lovle lve love with this get the next ch. soon ill be watching!

Author's Response: Thanks 4 watching out for the next chapter!! It will be out soon enough
Thanks for reviewing
Lyss xxoo

 Report Review

Dear lyss,
I think that this is a really good story so keep going. I hope that you are well
Celia.

Author's Response: hey thanks for the review and i am very good
lyss xx

 Report Review

hey! this is really good! um... coming from a fellow author, just a suggestion. maybe... the chappie length should be a little longer. other than that, it's great!
favorited!
8/10
Athena

Author's Response: thanks i will take that into mind. thank you for reviewing and favoriting
luv lyss x

 Report Review

Great start to what I'm sure will be a great story! I can already see a lot of potential in this story and it's obvious that you've got a lot of talent when it comes to writing! I really hope you're proud of this because I know from experience that the first chapter is the hardest but you really have perfected it. I absolutely love the pairing which you can probably tell since you read my story! This chapter was brilliant: The characters, the plot and everything else has really pulled together and on a whole it worked and flowed really well! Fantastic work so far and I'm really looking forward to reading more of this story in the near future! This is the first chapter and you've already set yourself some really high standards and I hope you can stick to them because I'm already hooked on this story! Update soon! Great job on this! Jenna :)
ps. Thanks for the review on my story! I really am touched that I'm what inspired you to write this!

Author's Response: Dear Jenna,
i know it has taken me forever to reply but i am now, so ,thanks for the review and it was greatly appreciated.

 Report Review

That was really good

Author's Response: thanks alyssa for that comment greatly appreciated

 Report Review